#mightymogar

[the-fake-fake-ah-crew]

Hey Michael, where did you learn to blow shit up? I mean, it probably isn't that hard

First of all, “it probably isn’t that hard” my fucking asshole. You have no idea how long it takes to finesse the skill of BLOWING SHIT UP. The ones with the timers are the most fun. You can just see the fear once the people near them realize it’s too late.

[the-fake-fake-ah-crew]

Hey Mr. Jones, I aspire to be just like you. What is the best way to get started in Los Santos?

So you wanna make some paper, fucker? You came to the right place. Let Michael Jones tell you how to become an all mighty king in this shit city. Sit down because it’s time for a kindergarten lesson in criminal activity. 1) Have a thick skin. Don’t fucking go crying to mommy when some asshole chases you out of their drug store. 2) Learn to blow shit up. Anyone who is anyone in this city carries sticky bombs. I ain’t tellin you to become a dynamite master like myself, just get yourself something to throw back. 3) Hustle the fuck out of everyone you see. Grandma? No prob. Tell her you need lunch money and spend it on a car. Take everyone’s cut on a heist. Unless you wanna keep them around. Steal everything and put a stamp on it to let people know it’s yours.Have fun, and if you climb the ranks just make sure not to come after me, because I will win every time. Good luck short stack.

[the-fake-fake-ah-crew]

Hey, fuckers! The Fake AH Crew is back, GET THE HELL OUT!

Kdin | Lindsay | Michael | Vagabond | Fearless Leader Bruce

[the-fake-fake-ah-crew]

Michael! fuck marry kill: Gavin, Ray, and Ryan?

Royally fuck over Ray because I can, Bury Gavin; no offense boi I still love you but marriage is a no go; and because, why not flirt with death, fucking pop one right in Ryan’s skull... both of his skulls? Sometimes I think that mask of his is becoming part of him, it’s fucking crazy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go Vagabond-proof my house before he returns the favor. 

[the-fake-fake-ah-crew]

LSPD better hurry up and put out an APB because Michael-Fucking-Jones is online. Bring on the questions, and make ‘em dynamite, or else.

[the-fake-fake-ah-crew]

Tis the season! To buy yourself expensive gifts -G

‘Tis the season for cat themed everything. -L

I wear my Christmas hat year round, but I will always celebrate with some fireworks! -J

Yeah, the holidays were fun as dicks until it became a “bad idea” to hang sparklers from the christmas tree because it’s “dangerous” and a “fire hazard.” It was one time! The tree looked so much more badass on fire anyway. -M 

Jesus wishes all of you a Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Joyous Kwanza/Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year. Blessings be upon all of my children. -- M.B.

You could say I’m a real party animal during the holidays. Haha get it?....This is why no one allows me to participate in any reindeer games. -R

Shh! Rumor has it the Lads still believe in Santa. -K

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, when it’s over and specific things are disposed of -  like bodies. - R

I drank eggnog all the way through the holidays. Tis the season to get fucked up. -G

WE HOPE EVERYONE HAD A FANTASTIC HOLIDAY!!! 

[the-fake-fake-ah-crew]

How come all of you are both hot as hell or adorable as fuck? I suspect sorcery, and good genes, mostly sorcery.

Thanks love, nothing but a bit of grooming is all I do -G

It must be all this dynamite im packing. Y’know, the explosions get pretty hot. It must have rubbed off on me. -M 

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe its being a hardened criminal. -L

[the-fake-fake-ah-crew]

GAVIN! You idiot why did you stick a fucking fork in the damn microwave? What did you think was going to happen? ‘Oh look at me I’m Gavin I don’t know how a micrOWAVE WORKS, LET ME PUT METAL IN IT. You fuck! -M 

It didn’t cause that much damage! We just.. need a new microwave... -G

Every once and a while? It’s every moment of my life. -L