extra , extra , read all abt it ! megumi ' s in his feelings and he can ' t get outta it !
category . megumi x gf!reader
desc . megumi feeling his feels and gatekeeping it 🤫 , snapping at u when u ask him if he's alright (+ u going through his phone 👍). loosing interest in each other
word count . 1.5k
tags . not proofread , fighting , speculations (🤓) of him cheating , sfw , angsty , not a silly happy writing lmao
you guys don't live together, but are over at each others places a lot. and when i say a lot, i mean it. you two might as well live together. but, that was in the past. no need to dwell on the past, right? so let's talk about now, shall we?
you knew about megumi's thing with mental health. occasional low episodes, depression episodes, all that. you didn't care, because, deep down, below the stoicism and pushing his emotions down, he was the guy who made you smile, made you laugh. the guy you fell in love with.
sounds a little cheesy, right? good. 'cus that aint the point.
anyhow, about the now.
you guys were not as talkative to each other as you once were. still spent time together, but said you were busy more often, and said "i gotta go..." making excuses to avoid tbe awkward silence that lingered between the two of you now. it was no secret to one another that you guys made up excuses. it just became the norm.
on your end, megumi was a lot more dry in messages lately, dryer than the messages usually were. no more instant replies, taking him hours to reply. so it was only right for yoy to assume the worst and think he was cheating...
...right?
wrong.
you knew about his mental health struggles, so why didnt you just assume that at first before jumping to cheating? you didn't know. always assuming the worst.
one evening, you invited him to your apartment for dinner and a movie. pretty laid back, right? he knocked on the door, you let him in, greeting one another with a small, quick kiss like always, before the two of you sat on your sofa, small coffee table infront of you, and the TV setup 5 or 6 feet away.
it was pretty quiet between you two, since its been like that for awhile, it was something they got used to. didn't ask how one another was doing, what happened in their week, since it was a friday evening.
he excused himself to get up to use the restroom, which gave you the perfect opportunity to look through his phone. to be honest, it was giving paranoid girlfriend, but you just wanted to make sure. look at his few social media apps and check if anything suspicious was going on, then to simply put his phone back.
once he was down the hall, you put your little plan to action. the sofa creaked ever so slightly as you leaned over to grasp his phone, but once you did, you were unlocking it. you typed in the password—the day you guys went on your first date— and she went to instagram. when you saw nothing suspicious, you went to the next app.
tiktok? nothing.
snapchat? nada.
just a few high school friends, and you.
as you then went to his texting app, you heard his voice at the opposite end of the sofa, speaking in that usual calm and blank tone, his words muttered — like usual.
"what're you doing?"
your grip on his phone turned white-knuckled as soon as his voice reached your ears, heart dropping to your stomach.
megumi stood behind the couch, a blank — but unamused — expression on his face. mostly blank, but the frustration and disappointment were painfully clear in his eyes, so much so it made your stomach twist with anxiety.
you mutter, sounding guilty. "i was looking for something."
"looking for what?" he replied. his tone was flat. tired. just done.
you quickly closed out of all the apps you had browsed through and turned the phone off, quickly holding it out for him to take. "you're not hiding anything."
the way you said it sounded like you were skeptical.
he blinked silently at you before giving you a "you've got to be serious" look. he then sighed and reached out, snatching his phone and shoving it in his pocket before speaking.
"that's not the point."
to be completely honest, megumi was right.
you acknowledged it, but you chose not to. you were too upset with him.
"then what is the point, megumi?" you scoffed, your tone snarky and frustrated. "you've been leaving me on read for weeks. you've just been off for weeks in general."
megumi gave an exhausted sigh, dragging a hand over his face before crossing his arms and muttering. "i've... i've just been busy lately."
"busy enough to ignore me?" you remarked.
"i'm not ignoring you."
"you barely talk to me anymore!" you snap. your voice cracked slightly, but you ignored it. "what is your leaving me on read, or on delivered? each time when i ask if you're doing alright, you brush me off and snap at me. it just feels forced."
you could tell megumi was holding words back by the way he clenched his jaw, and the sigh.
"so you decide it's a good idea to go through my phone."
"well, maybe i thought your silence was because your talking with someone else."
you snap your jaw shut, realizing what slipped out of your mouth without you wanting it to, the room instantly falling dead silent. you see his eyes widen in astonishment, before his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw clenched again.
"seriously?"
you sigh out of annoyance, your voice coming out in a grumble. "can you blame me?"
you see his jaw clenched harder, like that was possible. but you noticed that your snide comment sent him over the edge.
megumi laughed, way more of a scoff of frustration than amusement. "you know what? i'm not in the mood for this right now."
your heart drops again, instantly feeling guilt. "megumi, wait–"
"no." he cuts you off while he grabs his jacket off the back of the couch, slipping his shoes back on. "i'm tired, i'm stressed out. i'm gone for less than five minutes and i come back to see you searching my phone for evidence because you convinced yourself i was cheating."
"i was worried–"
"and instead of talking to me, like a couple should, you snooped through my phone."
you open and close your mouth, fiddling with your fingers, unable to come up with a reply. he was right. again.
because you knew there was no excuse or defense for you looking through his phone.
megumi rubbed his face again, before shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "i need space."
those three words hit you like a punch in the gut, hurting way more than you thought words ever could.
"so... what? you're just leaving?" you asked softly.
megumi reached for the door, but before his hand touched the doorknob, he hesitated.
for just a moment, you hoped he'd turn around, and you guys could talk it out, make up, and go back to doing whatever the hell you two were doing to begin with. and maybe he'd tell you whats been weighing down on him lately.
you were hoping too soon.
he just let out a shaky exhale, his next words coming out drained and exhausted.
"i'll text you later."
then, he walked out. no "bye, love you", no kiss to the cheek or forehead, and trying to play it off like their normal goodbyes. the door just shut softly behind him, leaving the entire apartment feeling painfully quiet
havent written on here in awhile sorryyyy 😭
junior year semester 2 lowkey rough.
anywaysss... back to my roots w this one. pretty sure my VERY first writing on tumblr was w megumi too
i lowkey locked in. gave yall an edit AND writing. 1500 words too!? i feel like thats a record. idk. im just really proud of ts
hopefully after finals and summer starts ill be able to write more.
@mik0is0bored , 2026. do not translate , copy , or feed my work to ai.
Note: I didn't like my original megumi x reader fic, and I've wanted to do a jjk college au for like a few weeks, so here's this <33
Description: You've begun your life as a college student this October. And boy, it is not as fun as it seemed in those corny, romance movies you always watched when the leaves changed color. College is stressful. Buying the correct textbooks, then trying to figure out where your dorm is, and the most stressful it seemed, was trying to figure out where the hell your first lecture is. The weeks roll by, and you feel more and more burnt out as the days crawled by, your mental health wasn't doing so good either. But when you met the spikey black haired guy with green eyes (who occasionally helps you study) you begin to hope that the stress will lighten up soon, that it won't last forever.
Tags: Megumi Fushiguro x fem!reader, burnt out reader, mentions of depression, suicidal ideation, swearing, no curses au, college au, peers to lovers au, SFW
Note: Taglist is open! Comment on this post or any post related to this fix or use inbox to request being added to the taglist!
Note: sorry I went on an unexpected hiatus from tumblr, as well as this fic. New chapters soon!!!
Your pov ->
The next few weeks went by relatively slow, yet also seemingly fast. You finished getting your stuff set up in your dorm, you put your bags together and filled them with the books you needed for your major which was psychology.
And about Megumi, the guy across the hall? You both had at least one lecture together now and then, which allowed you guys to talk more (despite him being antisocial, and you with your social anxiety), but every now and then, one of you would strike up a conversation.
Life at university was okay, but sometimes you wanted to curl in a ball and just... cry.
You haven't touched a sharp object to harm yourself or thought about the promise you made to yourself—that at the end of the year if you felt worse or the same you'd end yourself— as you spent your time focusing on lecture notes, syllabi completion, and every so often spending time with Megumi.
A few weeks later, the more you guys talked (which again, was rare) you began to feel your heart quickening, wanting him to look your direction more, to speak to you more, maybe even wrap his arms around you... what were you thinking?
You guys barely knew each other. Why were you thinking these kinds of things? It's not like they were dirty thoughts, they were actually quite innocent, but you still couldn't help but wonder, were you beginning to have feelings for the stoic guy across the hall?
His pov ->
After his conversation with you, he nodded and had left you alone, noticing how standoffish you seemed at times, and he respected that.
They would talk every now and then, but lately, professors have given out much more notes to study, more case studies and documents, and it was getting to the point of being too much.
He'd sleep less, stay in his dorm some days and listen to the days' lecture and then pick up anything he needed to afterward. It wasn't as convenient as being there, but he'd make do.
Yuji even noticed this, which caused him to worry about his friend.
It was a day free of lectures for Megumi, and he was in his room lying on his bed with his eyes closed, trying to sleep as much as he could that day, so he could maybe feel better to attend the lectures for tomorrow.
As he lay there trying to fall back asleep, he let his mind wander to you. How your eyebrows furrowed when he asked you a question, the way you'd click your pen anxiously as you waited for the next bit of information from the professor.
He hated how much he was thinking about you, but he didn’t hate you. It felt quite impossible to hate you.
Suddenly, there was a knock on his door, causing him to curse quietly. He got up from his bed and opened his door, to see Yuji standing there.
"Are okay? You don't really leave your room as much anymore."
"I'm fine. The amount of work they're handing out is just getting to me."
"You sure? Cus man, I'm getting worried. I don't want your mental health to get as bad as it was in highschool."
Damn it all. Yuji was right. Megumi couldn't deny how bad his mental health was back in high school. He was glad that he had met Yuji and Nobara, even if he'd speak to them in annoyance nearly every time they'd speak. They were like his second family.
Then again, he didn't have much of a first family to begin with. he had a (pretty much nonexistent) deadbeat for a father, and his sister, tsumiki had been in a coma since middle school.
His mind wandered. Speaking of second family, he'd begin to think about you, again. Your expressions, your habits. He was an observant guy, and he wouldn't ever admit so, because, to him, his observant nature made him seem a little stalker-ish. He did not want you to think of him like a stalker.
Yuji, of course, noticed him begin to space out.
"You know, when I told you about trying to get with someone, I didnt think you'd actually do it"
Megumi blinked, returning from being lost in his maze of thoughts. "What are you talking about?"
Nobara smirked, lightly punching his shoulder, finding it amusing that he had lost focus on the conversation. "We're talking about your girlfriend."
Megumi's face flushed red; a very faint and subtle change in the coloration of his face as he spoke in his usual nonchalant tone, his mind going to you. "I don't have a girlfriend."
Nobara and Yuji shared a knowing look, and they only hummed and murmured to each other. Megumi on the other hand, could barely make out what they were saying, only hearing murmurs like "mhmm... sure" and "yeah... I'm sure you don't."
Your pov ->
You sat in the library after a lecture, headphones on, music playing as you finished up your notes. But your mind kept wandering
Not to your promise.
Not to the music playing in your ears.
But to Megumi.
You couldn't help the feelings that began to flutter in your chest when you saw him, but it was a weird and unusual feeling. You aren't used to having fluttery feelings when you see someone or think of them.
But occasionally, you'd have weird dreams.
Okay.
Not weird... just...
...cliche.
Cliche like... dates.
You'd have dreams about the two of you outside of lectures and study halls, holding hands, laughing together in a public space, and every time you woke up, you felt flutters in your chest.
And it was weird.
It was too weird and it was uncomfortable. Somehow it made your skin crawl in a way you couldnt describe. You couldn't decide whether or not you liked the feeling or not.
Maybe it wasnt so bad. Or it was.
You couldnt decide, and that scares the hell out of you.
You shook your head and went back to writing your notes, staring at what you'd typed up during the lecture. You sighed. You hated taking notes, but knew they were needed to help you better prepare for exams and reports you knew you'd work on some time in the term.
once you finished studying notes and jotting in the margins of the recent case study assigned, you checked the time. 10:48 pm. jeez. took you that long to go through a case study and take notes? it wasn't much of a shocker to you, though, because the damn case study was thirteen pages. you let your hands find their way to your face rubbing your face, as if trying to wipe away the exhaustion you felt.
you stood up from your spot in the library, noticing how only a few students remained, all of them looking as exhausted as yourself. you slowly collected your things and slung your bag over your shoulder, slowly walking back to your dorm building.
once you got there, you took the elevator up to your floor. floor three. you walked past the small kitchen free to all students, down the hallway, and as you unlocked your door, right before you stepped into your room, you turned back across the hall, looking at megumi's door.
you wondered if he was studying like she had been, reading a non-assigned case study (yes, somehow despite his obvious resentment for the plethora of case studies assigned, he still read a few every now and then), or had already gone to sleep. you sigh and shake away those thoughts, before shutting your door and locking it.
His pov ->
he was not studying, nor reading, nor sleeping. just thinking, when he heard your door open, then shut again. he silently wondered if you were finally going into your room, or leaving. he ran his fingers through his already messy black hair, and grumbled quietly to himself.
he simply wanted to fall asleep, but for some reason, his mind couldn't stop. and it began to become annoying when he couldn't stop thinking of you.
instead of continuing to lay in bed helplessly trying to fall asleep, he sat up in bed, exhaling like only a man exhausted from the past few days would. a second later, he stood up and carefully slid open the curtains of the window. he could see the small silhouettes of students who were still awake (at such an ungodly hour it felt like), heading back to their dorms, or heading off to a party.
megumi never understood the idea of a party. all it was to him was a lame excuse to get drunk, high, or both, then to just carelessly get with someone. it overcomplicates studies. at least he didn't know anyone who would do something so reckless.
he thought of the conversation the two of you had a week or so ago; talking about parties. he told you what he thought, and he remembered that the slightest formation of a smile found your face. he remembered that your little smile made his heart flutter. he also remembered what you said in reply to his opinion, as well as a small portion of your conversation.
"one-hundred percent. i'm surprised how many people still graduate from university, with all the parties that go on here."
he hummed in agreement, before processing your comment. once he did, his eyebrow raised.
"you hear about parties?"
"unfortunately," you sigh. "you don't hear all those girls screaming and laughing drunkenly every so often at four in the morning?"
"no. i may struggle to sleep every now and again, but im never up until four."
a tired, amused, yet brief laugh left your lips as you mumble softly "gee, i'm jealous."
a note from your author~
i looked at when i posted the last chapter... almost two years ago😭🙏
i'm soooo sorry !!
hopefully this chapter (that took a year and a half to finish) makes up for the lack of new chapters
anyways i plan on picking back up this over the summer
thank you so much for previous support and comments on this project🫶
again, taglist is always open so please lmk if you want to be tagged in future chapters
a/n: i said i was gonna write smth for thanksgiving, but I didn't so here I am w smth for the holidays 🤍
song: have yourself a merry little christmas ♪♪♪
masterlist
this year, christmas felt like just another thursday. which was kind of disheartening, in a way. you remembered as a little girl, you would whine and beg to open your presents the night before, not wanting to wait for the next day. you'd stay up all night to wait and hear bells on the roof of your home, but ultimately ended up falling asleep.
and the very next morning, there would be double the presents that were under the tree compared to the night before (back when you believed in santa claus). your big eyes would get bigger as you jumped for joy, tearing open the packages to receive toys, sketchbooks and pens, anything that you had said "i want this!" in response to commercials, you would get.
you were older this year, twenty-one, turning twenty-two in a few weeks. you felt wistful, missing the childlike wonder you used to have for the holidays, but it always warmed your heart to see your little nieces and nephews open toys you had bought them for the holidays.
it was christmas morning, and you'd promised your parents earlier in december you would be over at their house later that evening for the family christmas with your siblings and their kids. right now, you lay beside your boyfriend, who was still asleep. lucky him.
you pulled the blanket closer to your chin and curled closer into his chest than you already were, pressing your ear over his chest, hearing the soft thump of his heart, which almost pulled you back under the spell of sleep.
"mmph. 'morning."
he was awake. you'd wished you hadn't woken up, given your favorite moments with him was when the two of you were curled up together under the blankets.
you exhaled out of reluctance. you both were still curled up under the covers, but you knew he'd be getting up soon. so much for sleeping in.
"good morning. sleep well?" you utter softly, not moving your head from his chest just yet, but you turned your head to gaze up at him, your expression showing you were still clearly drowsy and struggling to wake up.
he hummed quietly reaching an arm out for his phone on the bedside table and double-tapping the screen to see that today was the 25th of december—better known, christmas. he grumbled incoherently to himself before rolling over to reach into the drawer.
his movements cause you to grumble to yourself. but as you move follow him, wanting to stay as close as you could for that moment, you heard him mutter something. and of course, you were still to sleepy to tell what he said.
"what?"
you heard him huff before muttering once more, this time more audible. "merry christmas."
a small smile crossed over your features as you looked at him, speaking softly in return. "merry christmas."
"i bought you something."
you heard him say a few moments later, disrupting the comforting silence between the two of you. your eyebrow raised, and you let out a quiet hum.
"you did? well, i have something for you as well."
"hm."
was the only response you got out of him. he was a man of little words, but he showed that he cared about you in other ways. buying you flowers, especially your favorite type exactly down to the color when you guys were talking about flowers.
if you guys were sitting on the couch watching tv, he would drape his arm over your waist and pull you close to him so you were leaning into him more than you were, and would trace small circles on your hip.
just casual, simple acts of affection and spending quality time together. and to be honest? you didn't mind the quiet moments, you liked spending quality time with him and giving each other things to show your affection for each other, rather than gushy words.
as you thought these things, he had a small box in his hand, wrapped in a pale blue paper with your name written in neat, handwriting. it wasn't anything luxurious, but it was simple and straight to the point.
when you realized this was what he had bought you for christmas, your heart fluttered. you rolled over to open the drawer of your own beside table, pulling out a box that was wrapped in the same wrapping paper, his name written in cursive on the top in a small font.
you both exchanged the gifts, the one for him sitting in his lap, and yours held in your hands. this silent exchange of gazes went on for a few moments, before he spoke up.
"open it."
with a gentle nod, you carefully began tearing away the paper that was wrapped over the box. underneath the pale blue wrapping, was a jewelry box. you looked up from the box at him, which he only gave a nod to open the box.
there was a black ribbon on the box, and as you pulled it, the box slid open. your eyes widened at the sight that beholder you.
it was a silver necklace, nothing extravagant, just a necklace with a small diamond in the middle. you look up at him.
"you want me to help you?"
you nod happily, as you gingerly pass the box over. you watched him take the necklace out of the box, and you tipped your head forward.
"it's on. you can look now."
you look back up and grab the small mirror on your beside table, a wide smile on your lips as you wrapped your arms around him, murmuring quietly.
"thank you. i... i love it. a lot."
a rare smile crossed his face, which caused your heart to skip more than just one beat. it was rare to see him have a full smile on his face, even a small one— but none the less, it made your heart soar.
"okay, now open yours." you say, reaching out to rest her hand over his. you saw how his face ever so slightly turned pink. you found it kind of cute after two years, his face still flushes at such simple things, like you resting your hand atop his.
you watch him unwrap the small package, before opening the box, to see a watch; that looked identical to the necklace you'd just received. he blinked a few seconds before looking up at you.
"did you know about your necklace before now?"
you blinked sleepily a few times before noticing the similarities in both gifts—subtly elegant, silver with diamonds. the only difference was one was a necklace, and the other a watch.
"o-oh," you spoke, your voice still ever so slightly scratchy from sleep. "no, i promise i didn't. i didn't get into your drawer."
he looks between the watch in his hands, and the necklace around your neck. after a moment or two, a small smile finds his face again. he takes the watch out of the box and puts it on his left wrist, before clearing his throat.
"they match. kind of cute."
you smile at the simplicity of his words, and you both wrap your arms around each other. after your embrace, you guys notice the time. the bright white numbers showed 10:38 am.
with a shared reluctant sigh, you spoke. "we should probably start getting ready," subtly hinting a reminder they were to be at her parents house for christmas dinner. with your reminder, he rolled his eyes and placed a kiss on your forehead before muttering.
"your brother talks too much."
you smiled before simply replying, "mother said dinner starts at 4, so when we get there, you can use your watch to watch the hours tick by. we're only there 'till eight."
he hummed, reaching out for your hands. "hm. you're not wrong."
throughout the rest of the day, your neices and nephews kept showing off their new toys to you two, siblings and inlaws starting never ending conversations, it emotionally drained the both of you by they time you left (45 minutes early)
but despite all of this, itwas clear that he was happy with his new watch, the way he kept looking at it and brushing his fingers ovet the diamonds. and you loved your necklace just as much.
in the end, the two of you had a pretty good day, despite it feeling like just another ordinary thursday.
commentary from your librarian ~~ (authors notes)
basic couple gifts cus i couldn't think of anything else sorry gang
i said holiday writing and i still finish writing two days after..
i hope everyone had a happy holidays !! (and have a happy new year !!)
this is prolly my last writing of 2025, and ik I didnt write a ton this year, but i plan on writing more in 26🤍
a/n: so far im gonna put my mind on 12 chapters, potentially more to come
description: you and kanao have been friends for awhile. you were there when kanae and shinobu brought her to the butterfly mansion. both of you were quiet girls, but heres the difference between you two— you could make your own decisions. kanao used a coin kanae gave her to make her decisions for her. why is this brought up? you both have feelings for each other, but you two are both too afraid to make the first move.
description: you and your boyfriend's relationship is dying—rather, has died. neither of you are willing to bring up the topic, so you both just...stayed, both refusing to let go even though your feelings for each other are now non-existent.
tags: cursing, arguments, cigarette use, alcohol use, inspired by the vodka cranberry music video.
a/n (1): if you haven't seen the vodka cranberry mv, i highly recommend watching it first, cus it'll help with imagining the setting and where interactions in this writing come from (or inspiration)
a/n (2): i also added several references to other songs in wishbone
a/n (3): i might make a series out of this, using multiple of the songs from wishbone but idk. what do yall think? pls comment your ideas🤍
you and your boyfriend have had a good relationship. loving, resolved conflicts. despite his harshness towards others, you were his exception. he treated you kindly, and glared at anyone who looked at you wrong. it was clear he loves loved you with all his heart.
but recently, this has changed, you don't know what changed, but something had changed. arguments were more frequent—no conflict resolution, just the two of you giving each other the silent treatment until one of the two of you relents and gives a half-assed "im sorry". time you spent together used to be soft and warm, now it was so tense the air around you two could be cut like a knife.
both of you knew that the relationship was dying and you two were loosing interest in each other, but neither of you wanted to accept this. so, despite knowing you two were only making this harder on yourselves for staying, they still tried to make the relationship work— like how babies try to put the triangle block on the square hole.
one uneventful saturday in mid-july, you two decided to go into town for groceries. you guys lived in a small house in the countryside and it only took ten to fifteen minutes to get to the grocery store. sanemi parked the blue pick-up truck near the front of the store, and puts the cigarette that he's been smoking since you two left to his lips and inhaled, after a few seconds exhaling the smoke.
"you can't smoke in there," you say, your tone of voice practically mechanical and emotionless compared to the usual exuberance your voice once held when you spoke to him. you didn't look up when you spoke, your gaze fixed on the bracelet on your wrist that he'd given you at the beginning of your guys' relationship.
you heard him grunt and out of the corner of your eye saw him toss the cigarette out the window. you both got out of the truck and closed the doors, sanemi locking the vehicle with his keys before you both walked into the store.
you felt a pang of emptiness, remembering how the two of you used to hold hands practically everywhere you went, but pushed it down as you pushed your hands into your pockets.
you both parted ways as you went to tbe produce section of the small store, collecting fruits to restock the fruit bowl in your small kitchen, filling a produce bag with the following; apples, oranges, plums, pears, and bananas (specifically, four of each, so both sanemi and you would get 2 of each fruit if you decided).
you remember your boyfriend saying he'd be by the breads, so thats where you go first, and what you see nearly causes you to drop the fruits.
you saw your boyfriend talking to a woman.
she had dark, raven hair, dark brown eyes, and several freckles and moles that dotted her face. you felt a pang of jealousy snd envy as you roughly cleared your throat, causing sanemi to whip his head around to you as you drop the fruits in the basket.
before either of you said a word, the raven-haired woman walked off. you and sanemi spent the rest of your shopping trip in silence. checking out at the cash register wasn't any less awkward as the cashier looked between the two of you, noticing the thick tension, speaking anxiously.
"so, do the two of you have plans later—"
they were harshly interrupted as sanemi spoke, "no. even if we did it's none of your fucking buisness."
you were taken back by his cold words and gave the cashier an apology as sanemi stormed out of the store, grocery bags in hand as you followed after him.
he threw the two bags in the back seat and slammed the door, slamming the driver's door as he got in, you scrambling to get your seat belt buckled before he angerly drove away. you knew frim past experience he drove rather recklessly if he was pissed like this.
you chose to keep your mouth shut and to let him speak first if he wanted to speak. and as if it were a prayer answered, sanemi spoke, his tone harsh.
"what the fuck is your deal, huh?!" he snapped, " i was having a conversation before your bitch ass cleared your throat. what, jealous?"
"no, i ain't jea—"
"shut. up. now. not one more damn word from you."
you rolled your eyes, but obeyed his request. you were in no mood to argue with him right now, especially when he's pissed off like this, so you responded with a brief nod of your head.
when you two got home, that's when the blow-up happened, the two of you were screaming and cursing at one another.
"why were you just casually talking to her like you don't already have a girlfriend?"
"why does it matter? are you jealous? do you think your replaceable?"
"i am not jealous! you shouldn't talk to other women when you're dating someone!"
"it isn't your decision on who i can and can't speak with! you ain't my damn mother, bitch!"
"go fuck yourself!"
"fuck off!"
you screamed without words and slammed the door to the bathroom, slumping back against the door, putting your head in your hands. you didn't understand. why eas he openly and casually talking with random women in public when they went out together? if he wanted to break up, why wasn't he saying anything? was he purposefully trying to break you down?
you didn't know.
all you knew right now was that tears were flooding your eyes and threatening to fall. what was stopping you from crying? nothing. so you let your tears fall as you sobbed alone in the bathroom.
sanemi could hear you sobbing from the living room, and he refused to feel guilty. he only scoffed under his breath before grabbing his pack or cigarettes off the coffee table and stomped outside to your guys' backyard, sitting on the covered porch in a lawn chair. he was a stubborn man, and when you usually got upset because of him, he felt guilty.
this time is different, your guys' relationship has changed.
you sat in the bathroom and sobbed until you physically couldnt anymore, body weary, nose slightly runny and a pounding headache. you sigh and decide in that moment to take a shower and try to wash away the argument that still clung to you.
as you stripped yourself of your clothes and turned on the shower water, the running water began to calm you. you took the braid out of your hair and placed your minimal jewelry in a small tray beside the sink and stepped unfer the warm spray of the shower.
as your mind wandered as you washed your hair, you thought back to earlier. the woman sanemi had been so casually talking to, the argument, and now here. and despite yourself, you felt warm tears silently run down your cheeks as you finished your shower.
you wrapped your towel around your body, your skin steaming slightly from the hot water of the shower, your feet padding against the hardwood as you entered your shared bedroom. you grabbed a pair of black shorts and—despite yourself, put on a white and green tee-shirt that belonged to sanemi and pulled it over your head. you didnt even take your hair out as you fell into bed and fell asleep— at 3:27 in the afternoon.
around 7:40 in the evening was when sanemi came back inside. he noticed the bathroom door was open, but you were no where to be found inside the house. he tossed his half-empty box of cigarettes on the coffee table and shuffled to the back of the house to find you— and sure enough, there you were, passed out on the bed.
he grunted, knowing you're bound to wake up with a sore neck cold skin from how you're positioned in bed, so he "reluctantly" took your damp hair from the towel and tossed it on the floor, and readjusted you so you were laying comfortably in bed, pulling the blankets up to your shoulders.
he decided to strip off his clothes from the day into something more comfortable— a pair of black basketball shorts with no shirt on and crawled into bed beside you, pulling your back against his chest and wrapped his arms around your waist as he mumbled soft apologies in your ear until he fell asleep too.
neither of you woke up until the next morning.
over the next few weeks, you noticed sanemi silently taking his shirts and hoodies away from you when you tried putting them on. it made you slightly anxious, but it was expected for your guys' dying dead relationship.
a few weeks after he takes his clothes away from you and keeps them only for himself, a similar occurrence with sanemi casually talking to another woman happened, much to your disliking.
you two were at the bar in town. it felt like a real date, something the two of you haven't had in what seemed like forever.
you both were dressed casually formal, nice enough to go out to a small bar that had a few stools and a pool table in the back. you wore his brown racer jacket— that you'd somehow convinced him to let you wear for the night— and a white mini dress with black converse, tying the look together with gold hoops and a necklace.
he wore a simple black motorcycle tee with deep blue denim jeans and white nike shoes. to add a bit of formality, he was wearing the watch that you'd bought him a few years ago for his birthday— it hadn't been a rolex, but he made it very clear then that he loved your thoughtful gift.
you two got there around 6:30 on a friday night, in the middle of 'happy hour'. but, given the small town, it was only you two and a few others in there. you two sat down at the stools, and the bartender came over.
"hey, what can i get the two of 'ya?"
you both usually got the same drink, each time you guys went out, one of you chose both of your drinks, and somehow the both of you remembered it was your turn to choose the beverages for them both.
"uh, two vodka cranberries, please."
the bartender nodded, turning to sanemi, "and you?"
he took a drag of his cigarette before puffing out the smoke and putting it out on the counter, grunting before finally responding
"she said two. meaning she gets one, and i get one. so like she said, two goddamn vodka cranberries."
the bartender apologized with a small nod and got to work making the alcoholic beverages.
it was awkward and silent between you and your boyfriend. sanemi began spinning around on the barstool, before seeing a woman over at the pool table by herself. he stood up and walked over to her without saying a word.
you sighed under your breath, before just letting it go as you watched the bartender place the beverages on the counter, going back to work. you picked up the glass and took a drink of the vodka cranberry, the stink of the vodka and the tang of the cranberry juice hitting your tongue, letting it numb you ever so slightly.
after awhile, you saw condensation dripping down sanemi's untouched glass, and spun your barstool around. your eyes went wide, and thank god you weren't holding your glass, because you might've dropped it.
what you saw was sanemi leaning close to the woman's face, and you knew in that moment that your boyfriend wasn't only talking to her, he was flirting with her.
you picked up your drink and downed the rest of it before standing up, walking over to sanemi, clearing her throat firmly as you spoke.
"what the fuck do you think you're doing?"
of course, the woman left the situation, and this pissed sanemi off, just like the incident in the grocery store the month before.
before you both knew it, you were standing in the parking lot of the bar, having a fight. the thing is, it wasnt like your guys' normal argument, it was worse. eleven times worse.
"why do you always do this to me!? we try to go out for a nice night, and you fuck it all up by being an asshole and talk to random bitch! it isnt fair to me!"
"oh, shut up! i wasn't gonna do nothing, your overreacting, like usual."
"overreacting!? you were flirting with her, and don't you dare deny that!"
sanemi went silent, not really sure of what to say to that. you were right, he had been flirting with the woman.
"so!? my love life is none of your goddamn business, woman!"
your eyes went wide at his statement. you were already fuming, and you couldn't help but shove him and jab your finger at him, damn near screaming in his face. he rightfully deserved it though.
"'so'!? the fuck you mean 'my love life is none of your business'!? it is my business when im your fucking girlfriend!"
sanemi's expression hardened, shoving you harder. "I don't give a damn if you're my girlfriend or not! keep your nose outta my buisness!"
your guys' fight went from just verbal to verbal and now physical. the two of you shoving and kicking each other. you yelled at him as you tears threatened to fall, kicking him in his calf, causing him to grunt.
"say it! just goddamn say it already!"
"fuck– say what!?"
"say that you hate me! speak up and say that you hate me, you asshole!"
"damn you!" he said with a shove to your shoulder, "i hate you! i fucking hate you so goddamn much! ya happy now!?"
your eyes went wide. you half expected him to say it, but not all of... that.
with a final rough shove, you turned on your heel and began walking home, your mascara running down your face as you listened to him call out to you.
"y/n! damn it, get back here! i didn't mean it like that—"
"please come back here! let me apologize!"
you refused to give him the satisfaction of turning around, picking up your pace and now sprinting down the road.
"fucking hell." sanemi sighed as he ran his hand over his worn down face. he really fucked it up this time, and he knew it. he had a feeling this time their argument couldn't be fixed. he didn't make an effort to follow you, just walking back inside the bar, to see his untouched glass of vodka cranberry beside your empty glass.
about fifteen minutes later, you got home, slamming the door shut as you removed your outfit from the night, as if soing so would remove the pain.
you ripped your shoes off, throwing them at the wall and taking off your jewelry, chucking his racer jacket at floor, and yanked your white dress off your body and pulled on a pair of shorts, not putting on a shirt, keeping you in your bra as you threw yourself into bed , sobbing into your pillow until your throat was sore.
you eventually fell asleep, your face and pillow smeared with mascara.
sanemi got home around 1:30 in the morning. he wasnt out with any women, he just sat at the bar, head in his hands before he decided it was time to go.
he took his shoes off and placed them by the door as he walked down the hall to find their shared bedroom a disaster with her clothes thrown on the floor. he noticed you in your bra and a pair of shorts, but all he felt was guilt.
he longed to crawl in bed beside you, but he refrained from doing so, kissing the still wet tear streaks on your face, murmuring small phrases against your cheek like;
"im so damn sorry, sweetheart."
"i don't hate you, baby."
"i wish this hadn't happened."
"you deserve better, my love".
he pulled away, looking down at your sleeping form before ultimately deciding to leave you. he grabbed his duffle back from the closet and shoved clothing, toiletries, other essential items— like his phone charger.
as he went to leave the bedroom, he looked back to your sleeping form, a fond yet sad smile playing at his lips before looking down at his watch.
goddamn it, he loved that watch, but he knew he didn't deserve it anymore, and when you woke up, he wanted you to know tbat this was for the better. he took the watch off and placed it beside your phone and ripped a page from his journal and wrote on it with sharpie, placing it beside the watch and left.
he grabbed his car keys and shut and locked the front door with a soft click, starting the engine to his truck and driving off.
what the note read was this;
"y/n,
im so damn sorry for what i said to you last night. i don't hate you at all, but i realize that our relationship has faded and we drifted apart. i wanted you to have my watch back.
–sanemi"
the next morning, you woke up, your heart feeling numb. you didn't want to open yohr eyes, but you knew you needed to get ready for the day. when you opened your eyes, you noticed sanemi's arms weren't wrapped around you, and that there was a note and his watch beside your phone.
a pang of worry hit you— and hit you hard— he never took his watch off. you reached for the note and quickly read it, gasping softly as tears filling your eyes before jumping out of bed and throwing on a sweater and your slides before running out of the house.
you struggled to unlock the door from how overwhelmed you were before finally getting the door open, you screamed desperately.
"sanemi! sanemi!"
"sanemi! this isn't funny! please come back!"
"sanemi shinazugawa!"
nothing. no response, you fell to your knees in the driveway, seeing cars drive on the road as you sobbed, holding the note in your hand, tears falling onto the note.
you knew the relationship needed to end, but you never did admit that you never really wanted it it to end.
mik's post-writing commentary~~
first writing in awhile !!
yk what fuck this cus i wanted to finish this before midnight. it's 12:48 now.
oh yall have no idea how much fun i had writing this
i lowkey prefer writing heart wrenching/angsty things, so this was fairly easy. plus its conan sooo🤷♀️
like i said in a/n (3), i may turn this into a series with more of the songs from wishbone, but idk. if this gets enough attention i'll do that ig.
