#milkposting

[tenna-my-beloved]

beloved

[tenna-my-beloved]

I’m a culinary genius

[nukasteel]

My ominous milk

[milk-like]

I don’t understand why crying is generally considered manipulative. Especially as you get older.

Like when I was in middle school I had a teacher tell my mother “the first time she cried, I felt bad. The second time she cried, I thought ‘okay so this is just a thing that she does.’ and I don’t let it manipulate me any more.” WHILE I WAS SITTING AT THE DESK WITH THEM BOTH like “why do you have beef with me I’m 12” (my mother HATED that teacher and this did not help but that’s another story)

Even now as a full-grown living-on-my-own grad school student adult I dread crying. But I’ve never been able to help it! Nothing I do to stop myself works! I have to cry when my body demands it. It has been that way since I was very small. I cry when I’m happy, and sad, and excited, and frustrated, and tired.

I don’t ask for pity, I’m not asking for anyone to fix it, I don’t use it as leverage to get my way, I am crying to process my emotions. But it’s ‘weak’ or ‘manipulative’ or ‘dramatic’ to cry (don’t get me started on the casual sexism here) and therefore discounts and undermines anything I do or say in that moment as inauthentic.

When honestly, the most authentic thing I can do is cry. I can’t decide what’s worse, when it comes from someone who doesn’t know me or when it comes from someone who does.

An acquaintance makes an assumption hurts for sure. Like “you don’t know me or anything about me, fuck you and your assumptions, just get away from me” and then I sit there going “how many people are they going to tell about this version of me they’ve made up in their head??? How many other people are going to have that assumption about me without ever knowing or talking to me”

But from a friend it’s different. Like “You know me, have known me, and love me- but you have also just made such a gross misappropriation of my character that I will never look at you the same way” and then I wonder if maybe I really am manipulative and I just don’t know it. Like I love and trust this person, what if I’m wrong??

I don’t know. All I really want is to be allowed to cry without judgement or assumptions. I used to cry with joy, and I miss that. I feel so much better and re-regulate so much faster if I stop fighting the tears. But the social pressure remains and so must I.

[milk-like]

Sorry babe I’m only into mermaids with the top half fish. Where are your legs. Im gettingh scared

[fullcream-milk]

🥛

[neighborofhomer]

i sure diddly hope so!! neddy needs a milkin!

[ghurnax]

hehe :)