Ok this is the first time that I publish something that I have written, in English, I must say that it is not my mother tongue, so I apologize for the mistakes. I wrote this after of read the poem 25 lives by Tongari. I hope you like it.
You look out the window and sigh as the landscape pass before your eyes, trees, mountains, nothing more, it will be a long trip, your eyes begin to weigh you until they close, you fall asleep.
You’re sitting on a bench, on a long cobblestone street, you know it’s a dream, because you’ve never been there, and your hair is long, the length you always wanted to have, but you never could, you were always too lazy to take care of your hair. But all this feels so real, the breeze on your cheeks, you inhale and exhale deeply closing your eyes, when you open them, something makes you turn towards it, you look at it and you lose your breath, it’s perfect, well it’s not, his hair is a little long and careless, maybe his lips are too thick, and there is a small scar near his cheek, which you can see while he is profiled, yes, it is not perfect, but it feels as if it were, as well with all the imperfections he have, it’s like perfect for you, then you feel like an idiot, saying that if you do not even know him, he turns his head to where you are sitting, so you lower yours to the ground, blushing, feeling like a stalker, Did he see you? You do not believe it, guys like him don’t usually notice you, they have never done it, nor in your dreams, you laugh a silly laugh at the irony of that.
You look at him out of the corner of your eye, he doesn’t notice you, what a surprise, he’s desperate you suppose, since he looks at his watch for the third time since you stare him, and he sighs, maybe he’s waiting for his girlfriend or boyfriend, that make you sad because it’s most likely, that he has someone in his life, because look at him, it’s not as if he couldn’t.
But you get up, where did you get the courage?, whatever, this is a dream, right? And if it is not, it’s not like you have not been rejected before, you’ll just say hello simple and easy. But If he looks at you strangely, if he laughs at you ?, you freeze without being able to move, imagining the thousand and one ways in which he can reject you without even knowing you, suddenly you see him, he is up and walking towards you, is he watching you? no, the most likely is that see someone behind you, but you can’t turn to rectify, you are paralyzed, and he is getting closer. Now you can appreciate it better, as his eyelashes almost touch his cheeks when his eyes close when they blink, as a small wrinkle forms on his forehead when he is frowning, perhaps frustrated, and as he do this, purse his lips more to the right side, does the person with him see that? Have taken the time to count each one of his eyelashes, the moles on his face while he sleep?, meters, centimeters separate them, how long ago did you start to hold your breath? One hour? Minutes? Seconds?, he passes by, you loose the air you were saving, it was obvious that his destiny was not you, you never are, you want to laugh but you can’t move.
“Sorry” you hear saying behind you, he isn’t talking to you, right?, Still you turn and see him standing in front of you, looking at you squinting, with his head slightly tilted to the left, you feel like your eyes are open more than normal in surprise, and then you turn around, he can’t be talking to you, but, there is no one else here, the old woman who seemed familiar watering flowers on the balcony in the building opposite is no longer , or the little child playing with a ball a few meters from you who look like one of your cousins, or the balloon salesman you saw a moment ago. Even knowing that you are the only one there, you point to yourself with your index finger , to which he laughs, looking at the ground, and then nodding, “Do I know you?”, you get shocked again, do you know him ?, it seems so familiar, as if you had seen him before, well this is a dream, right? Maybe you saw him before and his face was recorded in your subconscious, but say something, talk, of course, but you can’t, you shake your head frantically, which brings another smile from him and a couple of irregular dimples form in his cheeks, and you look like a fool watching him, without speaking, great, like a very silly cliché of The Little Mermaid when she has no voice.
He stretches his hand towards you, “nice to meet you, then”, you look at his hand and then at him and in a burst of courage you do it, you take his hand, you feel an electric current from his touch towards your whole body, and there you see, hundreds of images of the two of you, in some of them you do not even see how you look right now, in some you’re children, in other elders, there is one in which you’re are a couple of seagulls, in most of them you are like now, but different , you see him again, as if coming out of a trance, release your hand and smile shyly, “I’m sorry I did not find you in this one, I had to leave early”, and you realize everything now, this is not a dream and you remember it, you were asleep, a squeal of tires and a sudden movement woke you up, everything turned, you could only see trees and soil, glass, hear screams and tears, you feel a strong hit, everything hurts, you apologize to your family and friends for not being able to see them again, say goodbye and everything is black.
And you are here now, he looks at you worried, you feel a tear on your cheek and you touch it with your hand, it doesn’t hurt anymore, not so much, you do not feel that oppression in your chest, it’s as if everything was peace now, and you smile, he too, he holds out his hand to you “I’ve waited too long, shall we?”, you take it and follow it, where will you go?, are you in heaven?, will you go to hell?, you never did something that will hurt someone intentionally, What will happen?. But, you are with him, and in all those images, in all those lives, you always felt safe at his side, so if you have to go there, while he stay with you, everything will be all right, everything will be fine. As if he read your mind, stops in front of you and hugs you, “everything will be fine, we will be together for a while, until the next life, then we will just have to find each other again, easy peasy”, you laugh at his comment and also hug him, very strong, “I missed you so much”, you say finally, he hug you stronger, “I missed you too”, he separates from you smiling, then continue walking hand in hand.
“I’m anxious to meet you again”, you say enthusiastically, he laughs loud and beautiful of your comment, which makes you ashamed, you say those comments when you have just met again, but he keeps smiling and looking at you as you walk, give you a gentle squeeze to your hand, “patience, young grasshopper, we still have some time together,” and you smile at him. And so both stay together, until you have to rediscover yourselfs in your next life.
