#mindset magics

[hexpatient]

im honestly reconsidering every utterance of the "bad attitude makes it like that" variation cause, thats too close to the new age thought magics to be real, right??????? it seems wrong to say a persons attitude about something makes NO difference, but like the amount of "thats just your attitude" that is told to me when i talk about my life sucking so bad, that im disabled and in emotional pain, that i cant work and i cant make ither people stop abusing me, thats really just the spiritual bypassing gaslighting kind of shit.

also like. i do have a bad attitude about my life, but my attitude is a result of my life sucking, not the source of my life sucking. my life sucked first and my attitude adjusted to match the reality.

the amount of casual "thats just what you expected to happen therefore it did/thats your attitude/you have to have the right mindset" shit in therapy is like, if psychiatry was actually an accountable institution of science, there would be some rigorous research into that shit before accusing everyone in psychological pain to have the incorrect an bad attitude cause its an easy obfuscation. but the attitude shit, whether it stems from new age thought or not, is a cultural thing. and according to psychiatry, cultural shit is the facts and the goal regardless of if its real or good. and there is no difference between a therapsychiatrist communicating science based facts or reinforcing cultural values or preaching their own personal ideology. i could not tell the difference at the time and took it all in as science based facts. and even now i cant always tell what is what. its all communicated the same way. so i still dont know where the line is drawn.

[hexpatient]

its hard to capture the spiritual abuse and i even have a hard time pinning it down to label it properly with tags. im using mysticism, supernatural, and spirituality tags at the moment but it also hinges on a kind of faith healing as well.

when i talk about that pocket of mystery, i mean the authorities manufacturing doubt about facts. basic mundane (not supernatural/spiritual/magical), rational facts that can be reasonably established. its manipulation with spiritual abuse. they want to convince me of something that would count as magical thinking or superstition if i did it (cognitive distortions), like that having a "negative expectation" for something is more than enough to somehow manifest what i expected (thought magics/law of attraction shit). they want me to believe that if something is happening in my subconscious, (which i am inherently incapable of noticing because its subconscious, but they can see it somehow because they're basically a psychological psychic) that's enough to control things that are otherwise out of my hands, like how other people behave.

its subtle in some cases, because thought magic territory is spiritual and magical, but is normalized as not religious in us culture. and also because the skills and rituals they teach you like assertive communication and "i" statements and setting healthy boundaries and such can have an influence on other people, hence them being relationship skills. however, in function they are treated like they are fool proof magic spells to manipulate others (if i use a skill and unsuccessfully manipulate/control the other person, the only reason that is allowed is that i did it wrong or i "didnt believe it would work" enough, or something similarly abstract and unfalsifiable). the skills and rituals are not allowed to be questioned if they actually work reliably or have flaws, no, it's only that you're doing it wrong and you have to 🥺believe 🥺 (HUGE red flag). but they dont say this quiet part aloud. it took me ages to be able to dissect it into what it is. supernatural spiritual manipulation shit. its often so subtle that its hard to notice how they slowly shift things into mystical territory. it took me YEARS.

so when i talk about mysticism or faith healing or magic or supernatural or metaphysical or whatever, this is what i mean. when i say "spiritual abuse" this is what i mean. i just cant quite find a single word that captures it properly.

[hexpatient]

[no photo ID] how is someone supposed to go from fear zone "i get mad easily" to "i recognize that we are all trying to do our best"? the learning zone stuff is not an actionable behavior... it is a result of something. a result of what though? i dont fucking know! theres several internal growth steps between these different "zones" that are not explained.

its a mindset magic thing i think. they just expect you to somehow have control over how you see things and just change it (Just Do It). just Change your mindset. but like. mindsets are not purely the source of how you see things. mindsets are also a result of how things are. if i have a "negative mindset", its because my mindset has been constructed to match reality, not to create and define it.

maybe NT people can Just Do It and change their mindset. i dont know. but i cant just change the way i see things, at least partially because i choose how to see things based on evidence and facts and observations??? so when i get told i should see it differently, im like uh so you want me to believe lies?? a false version of reality??? (yes. thats what they want.)

this infographic is so unhinged in general like did you notice the "growth zone" thing that says "i am happy and hopeful"??? again i was handed this around march-may 2020 so this was at the extremely chaotic and deadly beginnings of the covid pandemic. and the Good and Correct way to Be zone says "be happy and hopeful" uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why is that an expectation?

i can understand these things are supposed to be steps. but like. when you're in the kind of fear that the pandemic caused, you can't just choose to slide towards growth somehow. it's an incomplete chronological order of events. and being handed this only really resounded "here's what you are doing Wrong" not "How to learn to do better." it gives me the goals only, not how to get there.

[hexpatient]

in one of the IOP day program lessons we talked about motivation. we talked about what motivates us, and the pitfalls because it can dissipate quickly and then you just stop working towards your goals. and the leader asked us something like "so what do you do when you run out of motivation?" and we kinda shrugged and looked at each other and said "give up until the motivation comes back i guess idk, unless you're one of those freaks who has discipline."

and the ending message was that "the most crucial time to continue to work on your goals is specifically when you have lost motivation." which is like. ok sure but people dont often work like that. if u have Discipline to make yourself work towards goals even when you're not feeling it, then cool and great. but a lot of people just dont. so how exactly are us regular people supposed to persist through low motivation? Just Do It! its a life hack emotion hack that is just unrealistic: Just Do It! somehow. how exactly? Do it. its another one of those logical leaps that just does not reflect reality. i need to know the steps between having low motivation and doing stuff im not motivated to do anyway. like what are the steps. how am i supposed to get there?