synposis doubt by samaria
warnings mentions of a toxic ex, overly insecure oc
read me ahhh hello! ik the divider isn’t all the way aligned idk why it won’t fill in the space i tried :(
songspiration m.list
He was too difficult when you met him, too shy, he didn’t speak much and that made things even harder. He was reluctant to let you in.
And when he finally did you couldn’t have been happier.
But the more he let you in the more you pulled back, the more you knew him, the sweeter he was, the more afraid you grew.
Afraid to give yourself another chance at love, not again not after him. But he was so insistent, so willing to catch you if you fell. And like the love struck fool you were you dove head first. He was there, he caught you, he was there for you, he loved you, but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough for you.
You had too much doubt, too much baggage.
He was there each time you accused him of his eyes wandering, his gaze too fond and friendly for another woman he was there each time, he comforted you hoping that you’d see him differently, trust him.
But it wasn’t enough.
Your self esteem was too fickle, too broken for repair no sweet words of affection could fix what he had broken.
“Baby—“ Yoongi was met with the sound of the door slamming instead of a response. He closed his eyes to calm himself as he turned off the car. He joined you at your front porch where you stood arms crossed staring straight ahead at the door. He watched you, waited for you to get angry that he wasn't making any moves to unlock it.
And it worked.
You huffed uncrossing your arms, “Yoongi-“
“What was that? Talk to me.” His worried eyes searched your face for the woman he knew, the woman he loved, but when you were like this—in your head—he couldn’t find her.
You scoffed, “Talk to you? You seemed more interested in that blonde bitch than me, all night.” You sneered your eyes narrowing, Yoongi shook his head, wetting his lips. He reached for you, but you stepped back not allowing him to touch you, he sighed, dropping his hands.
“Baby, I was not looking at her and certainly not in that way.” Yoongi frowned.
“I understand, Yoongi, I get it, I’m too much,” you pointed at yourself, “she's pretty, convenient, you want that? You can have it.” Yoongi didn’t even know what to say because he wasn’t sure how you two even got here.
It was supposed to be a nice relaxing date night. You both needed the time to enjoy each other's presence; work had taken up both of your free time and he wanted to give you a nice dinner date to make up for the time spent away. However he didn’t plan for the flirty blonde waitress that attended to the two of you. In his defense he wasn’t reciprocating any of the flirting that the waitress was giving him. She wouldn’t acknowledge you and if she did she was so cold and looked at you with contempt, it genuinely bothered him. He tried on several attempts to get her to speak to you with a more favorable polite tone before he requested a different waitress. How did you see it so differently?
Simple.
He asked for a new waitress because he was too overwhelmed with his desire for her, him grabbing your hand across the table when she came over three times? He needed you to ground him so he wouldn’t take her right then and there.
“Y/n, baby, please,” He cupped your face gently, the familiar sight of tears glimmering under your porch light, “baby no,” He pulled you into his arms, rubbing your back. “This…you, why do you think I want someone else? Why do you doubt my loyalty to you?” You softly cried into his chest pulling away gripping his suit jacket.
“How could you love someone like me, Yoongi?” He swipes at your tears with his thumbs, but they kept coming, staining the top of your dress. “What is there to love about me? When I’m so…so-“
“So what? Hm?” His brows furrowed, his features twisted as if he was angered, not with you but your thoughts and your contempt for yourself. “You are perfect to me,” He pulled you in closer brushing a stray curl from your forehead, the touch tender making your eyes flutter, “You are everything I want and more, I would never look for anyone else my eyes have never wondered from you. You are my home, my safe space, you are the love of my life, and it pains me that you question that,” he blinked twice shoving down his emotions, but you saw it, the hurt.
Yoongi never said it before, but you needed to know. It pained him when you questioned his love and loyalty for you. He desperately wanted you to trust him to believe him when he speaks his love for you. But somehow you two always end up like this.
Your brows creased cupping his cheek. “Yoongi—“
He grabbed your hands stroking the back of your palms. “Promise me this; from this day moving on, you won’t doubt my love for you anymore, you won’t compare me to him—“ Your lips part denial heavy on your tongue, “I know you do it, Y/n. I don’t… I don’t judge you for it, but I am not him. I am not like him, I love you, I care for you and you only, okay? Promise me.” He gently squeezed your hands, his words freezing in front of you.
“I…I love you too, Yoongi.” You looked down stammering, “I-it’s so hard for me, I-I have all these thoughts…I can’t.” You shake your head, more tears flowing, “I can’t, I believe you, but I can’t promise you that I won’t question you, I’m sorry.” Yoongi pulled you back into his arms stroking your hair, muffled “I’m sorrys” and sobs exhaled into his chest filling the night's silence.
“I don’t blame you baby, that-that bastard,” Yoongi exhaled harshly trying to control himself. He didn’t like talking about him. He hates seeing the damage he did to you and how it holds power over your thoughts about yourself and the love Yoongi has for you, but it’s something that’s affected your relationship for years. “It’s his fault, but I swear to you, I will never do anything that that piece of shit did, okay? So promise me you’ll try, try to believe me and see the best in me, look at our situations objectively, believe me when I tell you I love you and only want you because I do.”
“Why do you fight for me so hard? Why?” Yoongi exhaled a soft chuckle.
“Because I love you, Y/n.” You stepped back no more than an inch to meet his eyes, they reflected your own; glossy and full of unshed tears. You searched his face for any deceit, for any traces of him, but found nothing but a man who’s loved and cherished you, the man that’s fought for you all these years even when you didn’t want him too.
Min Yoongi, your patient, caring, loving, boyfriend.
A man worthy of a promise.
You gave him a soft nod, wiping away a stray tear that fell from his eyes, “I promise.”