Domestic Ask time for Solas & Iris AND Mira & Oran! <3
how do they make up after a fight?
do they have nicknames or pet names for each other?
most trivial thing they fight over?
do they celebrate birthdays, valentine’s day, anniversaries? how?
These are fun questions! 💜
how do they make up after a fight?
They don’t tend to argue often and after leaving for the Fade together, they’ve learned to treat disagreements as “the two of them versus the problem” rather than “them versus their partner”. I think the mutual recognition that they are on the same side and that disagreements are fundamentally a temporary thing in their marriage really helps matters.
But, arguments do happen and they’re pretty good at recognizing when one of them needs space from a charged conversation. That space allows them to approach the issue on a calmer level and talking things out and coming to a resolution allows them to move forward.
So, Mira grew up watching how her parents communicate, which means she’s pretty big on talking things out, but she also needs space when she’s pissed and unfortunately Oran sometimes really pisses her off in the early years of their relationship. Perhaps the biggest roadblock for them is that Oran is not a “talk it out” sort of guy - he’s a straight shooter and doesn’t necessarily hide things… unless it’s his feelings. He fucking hates talking about his feelings. Other people’s feelings? He can go all day and has remarkable insight into how others think and feel. But his own? Lol fuck that shit.
Mira finds that tendency of his very frustrating, perhaps even more so when Oran offers to “fuck it out” in an attempt to avoid a heart-to-heart.
do they have nicknames or pet names for each other?
They both use vhenan and Iris also calls Solas her “beloved”. Solas will often think of Iris as his beloved in his head but does not necessarily call her that out loud.
Solas used to refer to Iris as his flower during the Inquisition days but that pet name got co-opted by the Chantry and the Dalish, who independently began referring to Iris as the Flower or the Wolf’s Flower. So, that pet name comes out very, very rarely in their modern life.
Mira grew up hearing her parents call each other vhenan so even though it’s, like, the elven pet name, to her it’s just a little bit icky. She calls Oran “darling” but honestly mostly just calls him by name. Oran chose his name - how he came to choose it and its meaning is a story that will be told in my Oran longfic that I’m working on, but his name is important to him and that’s something Mira honours by calling him by name.
Oran refers to Mira as “my dear”. There’s no intense meaning behind it - he just thinks his girlfriend is a beautiful, dignified woman and therefore uses a pet name representative of that.
most trivial thing they fight over?
It’s mostly bickering for enrichment but they argue about clothing - namely Solas’ reluctance to wear a dress shirt with elaborate patterns or bright colours unless they’re on vacation.
Also, Solas bought distressed jeans once specifically because Iris complained about how much she hates them and then protested when she burned them in the yard after seeing the horrid things threaten to spoil his perfect ass for her.
Oh, and Iris prefers to take the first flight of the day in the modern world and that drives Solas crazy. That’s probably the most trivial thing they legitimately argue about.
Probably home renovations and furniture? Oran’s taste is far more flamboyant than Mira’s and they’re usually good at compromising but I can also see him trying to talk Mira into a pink fridge and Mira just staring out into the distance.
do they celebrate birthdays, valentine’s day, anniversaries? how?
They make a big show of celebrating Mira’s birthday every year and when she was young would do things to celebrate their own “birthdays” (which were really just days they chose to satisfy contemporary government identification requirements). They don’t actually know their anniversary because they got married in the Fade about a year after leaving Thedas so generally don’t bother with an anniversary. As far as they’re concerned their life together is a celebration and they are very good at carving out time to spend together as a couple.
Mira was born a week before Satinalia and has a very painful relationship with her birthday. Oran respects that but also wishes to make her feel special so tends to cook her a fancy dinner every year - usually involving steak or lobster. Oran picked a birthday at the request of his friends, and has always played a Paths of Glory one-shot with them to celebrate his birthday so Mira joins those games, makes him dinner and bakes him a cake or pie.
Unlike her parents, the two of them know their anniversary and do something to recognize it - usually a small thing like a dinner out, but I can see them booking a trip on milestone anniversaries.
