Dreams I've had
I really really truly wish my country wasn't so compromised. As a child I used to participate in skating but only speed one. I used to represent district for it actually but I came to despise it. I didn't want to go fast I wanted to go fucking pretty. I wanted to figure skate.
Now as I have time, I realise my old coach had scared me so much I was terrified of wearing my skates and its been over 6 years. I don't even know if I can skate anymore, but I really really want to.
I wish my country had the infrastructure to support ice skating rinks and figure skating classes because it hurts to see people your age represent countries in televisions. They're so beautiful and so fabulous and god I know I'd never be like them but I just so desperately wish I had been given the chance to at least try.
I know if I ask my mother now she will refuse. I mean there practically is no scope out there for figure skating in my country. But she said I can try using my skates again. Maybe they'll fit me? I hope so.
I don't want to let an opportunity like this to pass in the future. Perhaps some day down the line I'll be able to skate on ice. Perhaps I never will. But I would like to share this somewhere. Because maybe someone out there is living my dream and its beautiful.
I want to see the same shine in myself when I see people do what they love except I don't even know what I love anymore. I want to hurt, I want to bleed, I want to cry but I want to do it for passion, for love and for romance.
I really really really want to figure skate