fuuuuhhhh wish I could go full anon for this but I can't so.
I know who I want to be my mate. I want to put their name everywhere and make sure everyone knows they are mine and I am theirs. but I'm also terrified that having a label on whatever we have is gonna fuck everything up.
im scared that naming my feelings is gonna change something and I'll get sick and nauseous and avoid them until we inevitably fall out.
im scared that we haven't known each other for long enough and that id be rushing things.
I just want to put my claim on them before the opportunity moves off. I feel so violently jealous at times but I dont say shit because it wouldn't be fair to be possessive of someone who isn't fully mine.
im pulled between my alpha instincts to place them on top of the world and show them my throat and scent them and make sure everyone knows they are MINE. and then my beta instincts tell me I should take care of them, make sure they have a circle of friends, offer advice to them on decision-making and leading, walk around drenched in their scent and growl at anyone that attempts to flirt. because I have been claimed and I couldn't be prouder.
FUCK MY STUPID AROSPEC LIFE.