#missingnora

[2nvmissknox]

You saved Me @givenchy__e ....God knew what He was doing when He made me your mother... Scared out of my mind then and as the years have passed.. you have made this Easy for me... There is no manual to this Life of Motherhood... Happy Mother's Day to me!! #allaction #missingNora #IloveMySpanky #MothersDay2019 https://www.instagram.com/2nvmsknox/p/BxYnoCwF1UH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=f32wdvzjo0iz

[2nvmissknox]

Day 30...I have set up Gratitude Goals..and a simple prayer, that will develop a radically grateful lifestyle for Me.. I will "abound in thanksgiving"#NorasNovember #givingThanksWithNoComplaints #NorasGrandbaby #Norasgreatgrandbabies #allaction #thisweightgottago #NoraSaid #NorasBabies #wearpurpleinNovember #NorasJam #missingNora #thecolorofRoyalty #wisdomofBlue #loveofred

[2nvmissknox]

Day 13... Thankful for His ever-present help and fellowship, especially in the dark times.... I have been around so many people in my close circles recently that are "Going Through"..some have lost sight of Whose They Are... I pray that you get focused on Him, know and be thankful for The JOY that comes every morning... #NorasNovember #givingThanksWithNoComplaints #NorasGrandbaby #Norasgreatgrandbabies #allaction #thisweightgottago #NoraSaid #NorasBabies #wearpurpleinNovember #NorasJam #missingNora #thecolorofRoyalty #wisdomofBlue #loveofred

[morethnalilbit-love-pissedtivity]

She's only 1

I want to completely open up as to how and why I feel the way I do so I can simply get this off me and expose whatever Demons I’ve encountered and been harboring lately. I’m hurt and I’m over being hurt but I’m still boiling inside and it’s still painful. I know that when it comes to my Children I’m over protective and there’s literally nothing I wouldn’t do even outside of my religious beliefs. I’ve traveled I’ve inquired I’ve inquired and I’ve traveled all in the name of my baby Nora.

I’m tired, not of fighting for her not of the search or the travel but the damage this is doing to my mental to come back without my child. To not have a clue as to what she’s doing her health where she sleeps how she sleeps if she’s eating right her teeth her skin her hair. Is everything I’ve taught her gone out the window? Does she think I left her? The fact that she has to settle when she cries for me. One of the biggest things that hurts is her sister my oldest misses her dearly she acts everyday as if Nora is coming later or the next day as she should but I know she feels it. I try to hide my feelings around her especially trying to not cry around her and being down around her. I miss kissing my baby I miss sleeping with her and her making me laugh every single day. I miss how affectionate she was her kisses her little big personality. It’s all just in memory now. I focus on making sure this doesn’t happen again that’s when I can focus. He calls this a game. He’s not thinking about her but acting in spite of me. I know in the end it will benefit me in the end but the end is not close enough. The best interest of my child is not in his heart at all at this point. She was nursed until the day she left. She’s 1 and my oldest is 4. In all honesty I don’t care if he has a girl or has been living with a girl or have been playing house I care that he’s letting the image of having a little family overrule everything/everyone else. That nothing else matters. When she matters. I think back to when right after Katrina when my mom refused to go back home when everyone was back and years passed. I would say I was “displaced” when I described how I felt or my time there until I left. Though, my baby is definitely displaced. This forced not only on me but on to her as well. You don’t force a separation of a child a 1 yr old a little girl and her mother. This just seem so dark to me even though some people use their children all the time in this manor I just don’t get why this is happening to me even after this I still feel like she should know her father. For YU to say out your mouth that I nor my family can see her cuts even deeper. I have to let the anger go tho it’s physically making me ill. I have to get this off my mind because it’s heavy on my mental. Eating doesn’t come easy anymore sleeping comes when it comes but waking up is dreadful. I get mad at myself for the little faith I’m showing I feel guilty eating and sleeping because I don’t know if she’s being fed properly or if she’s sleeping good without me. I KNOW SHES CRYING IN HER SLEEP.

God take this away remove this feeling restore my faith and guide me mentally and order my steps in your name. I love you for everything you’ve done, doing, and that which will be done because of your love for me. I am covered by the blood and so are my kids heal my heart dear lord heal my family’s heart and give her father a submissive heart dear lord open his heart lord and remove his demons. Give him vision where there was none I only will speak life on him and not death dear lord on him and his family. God I’m calling all angels to watch over and guide each and every one of us and to bring my baby back safely in one piece in your name dear God. I’m sorry lord forgive me for the sins we know and the sins we don’t. I know your love for me is present even when my faith is not I call on you lord I call to the heavens for a miracle. Let your will be done dear lord. In Jesus name Amen Amen Amen!