mitsuya's BD - pt 3
so uhm, I decided to link the entire series to @suyacho 's amazing collab. Snow, baby, hope that's ok :3
Disclaimer: hurt/comfort; park picnic; deep talk; self-deprecation; words of encouragement; tears; mentions of passed family members; ghost stories; kissing; PDA. full work cross-posted on Ao3
Word count: 4.5k
Part 2
He was in charge of the comfort only, despite having offered to bring at least the drinks. You insisted you could handle the snacks and beverages, and Mitsuya simply could not cross your words. Therefore, to compensate, he did everything in his powers to ensure the best experience. At first, you considered it an exaggeration that he brought pillows to a picnic, but your body benefitted from them so you chose to ignore the peculiar looks thrown at you by by-passers.
After his birthday party at Draken’s, you and Mitsuya continued to talk – through texts, sometimes calls, you even went grocery shopping together once. However, sitting on a fluffy blanket in the park, chatting with the boy about your likes and dislikes, hobbies and aspirations, felt like a real date. When he asked you if you liked to have a picnic together, Mitsuya didn’t use the word “date”, but you were sure that’s what it was. He smiled at you the entire time, re-filled your glass before it emptied, peeled the apple for you and, most importantly, looked at you with the gentlest smile. Before you knew it, you renounced your usual stiff street attitude in favour of your true self – comfortable, a bit loud and oversharing.
“...that’s when it hit me: it was completely stupid and I shoudl’ve just– I’m sorry, I strayed so much from the subject and only talked about myself,” you apologised, pressing two fingertips on your forehead.
“I don’t mind it at all,” Mitsuya eased you. “I like listening to you.”
“Still, I kind of overshared some stuff and it’s barely our first date.”
You zipped your mouth shut after that word. It had escaped you and you weren’t sure what would happen next. You liked Mitsuya, a little more than he knew actually, but admitting it so soon came against your principles.
“Most people talk during the first date. More or less, depending on their personality, but I think that’s a good way of figuring out whether a second date would be worth it.”
Your companion’s talk was measured, slightly hinting towards approval of the current interaction and you agreed with him on the matter. Yet you still decided to let him talk further, so you smiled and reached for an apple slice. Mitsuya noticed the change in your state, and in an attempt to restore the vibe, he switched to sitting criss-cross and hugged the pillow.
“Let’s play 10 questions. This way neither of us would talk too much and we get to know each other better.”
His proposition was a smart one, and as long as you kept the questions in the safe zone, nothing could turn awkward. You nodded your head as you finished the apple and then copied his posture.
“I go first,” Mitsuya said. “What was the last good deed you did?”
Much to your shame, you needed a moment to think about it. You didn’t want to say the first thing that crossed your mind because you didn’t want it to seem too minor. The boy was patient, almost too patient for your answer, that it made you think he was already judging you for not being a good person. Yet again, Mitsuya wasn’t the type of person to do that.
“I’m not sure what you understand by a good deed, but I assume donating some money for a charitable cause is considered a good deed everywhere,” you finally answered.
“Why did you think about it so much? I mean, it’s very nice of you that you did that, but I’m sure you did plenty of other good deeds you don’t even realise are good deeds.”
“Like what?”
“For example, on my way here, I offered an old lady my seat in the bus.”
“Oh, well, last night I helped a neighbour bring their luggage to the 5th floor.”
“See, that should’ve been your first answer,” Mitsuya encouraged you, wearing the same smile.
“Ok, ok. My turn. If you were to move to another country for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?”
The question surprised Mitsuya and you couldn’t help but giggle at the way he knitted his brows. If the roles were reversed, you would’ve thought he asked you that because he was going to relocate and he needed to know your opinion on long-distance relationships. But that was your thought process, not Mitsuya’s.
“I think France. Even though I heard it might be dirty, it’s the mother country of fashion and well, you know me.”
The simplest most unexpected answer you were given and it made you chuckle some more.
“Yeah, I should’ve known. I bet you’d be a great fashion house owner.”
“Thank you, I hope so, but there’s a lot of work left to do before I can dream of that.”
With his bottom lip stuck to the edge of his glass, Mitsuya continued the game. “Early bird of midnight owl?”
“It depends, really. If I made the mistake of postponing some tasks and taking a nap too late in the afternoon instead, I’d end up staying awake until 3-4 am. When I crash at 9 pm after overworking myself, be sure I’ll be up at 5 the next morning.”
“Sounds like a rollercoaster,” Mitsuya stated and laughed. “Is your work schedule that fucked up?”
“My whole life appears to be fucked up, actually.”
“I shouldn’t give uncalled advice, but you could try being a little more disciplined and set an order of priority for the things you want to do.”
You didn’t want to admit it, but you had tried to do that before. You lacked motivation for a lot of things, thus you failed, because nothing seemed to push you enough. As you didn’t reply anything, Mitsuya cussed at himself internally for barging in, and reminded you it was your turn.
“Do you swim, Mitsuya?”
“I do, yes. Not very often, though, because I don’t have the time for it, but yes, I know how to and I like to swim.”
“Consider it question 4.1, where do you like to swim more? The ocean or a pool?”
“Hm, as long as it is a great mass of water that allows me to submerge, anything will do. Although, I think I prefer less chlorine so I’d go for the ocean whenever the weather permits it.”
“That’s a very good answer!” You exclaimed, now with your smile regained.
“I see we upped the questions, therefore, name three traits you like about yourself and three traits you wish you had.”
You worried that at one point the game would take it sideways, but you would’ve been less stressed if it went on the sexual side.
“I have to think about it. Should we go on with the game and I’ll answer when I know them for sure?” You asked, stalling, hoping he’d agree and then forget.
“No, why? We don’t have to multitask all the time. Why stress your brain into thinking about several things at once? It’s a beautiful day, we’re here and it’s comfortable. Take your time to think about it and answer me when you’re ready.”
The effect this boy’s voice had on you was beyond your comprehension. You felt like the weight of the entire world had just been lifted off your shoulders, You felt the ever present tension in your body fade away; your shoulders fell and your lungs filled with air. A little tear formed in the corner of your more sensitive eye.
“Are you alright?” Mitsuya asked, leaning forward just a tad.
“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry,” you dismissed him, wiping the tear away.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No, no, it’s just… You bring a lot of calm towards me and… It’s just a new experience for me, that’s all.”
Mitsuya exhaled deeply and in a matter of seconds decided his decision couldn’t be harmful. He grabbed the hand you held the pillow with and squeezed your fingers.
“We can do something else if you want. Or I can change the question.”
A million electrical tingles travelled up your arm and culminated at the base of your skull. The last time a part of your bodies touched was that morning when you napped embraced – still strangers, still falling for each other.
“No, it’s ok. I’ll answer, but what will you do while I sit and think?”
“The silence never bothered me, I could just lay down and watch the leaves sway.”
You scoffed into a smile and a nod of your head signed your agreement. The slight regret you felt when he freed your hand was soon replaced with the joy of seeing your crush lay on his back, with his head close to your knee. You resorted to the greatest power you had within not to brush your hand through his lavender hair. You weren’t at that stage yet.
He said to shut down all the other thoughts in your mind and focus on answering the question, but once a multitasker, you can’t back down from that. As you self-analysed your personality, you also took a good look at Mitsuya’s body and dozens of images of you touching him formed. There was nothing inappropriate in those touches, no, but you couldn’t help wishing to lay down next to him and feel the weight of his arm on your shoulder or waist, and the rhythm of his heart deep in your ear.
When a stronger breeze came, it moved the leaves of the tree above you. The sunlight hit Mitsuya’s eyes mercilessly and he shut them. You held back your giggle, thinking that if he heard you, he’d look up and learn that you were staring at him. When he didn’t re-open his eyes, though, you realised he might fall asleep if you didn’t talk sooner.
“I wish I had more faith in myself. Even though I can’t really change it, I wish I was taller. And the last one: I wish I could draw. I’ve practised it for a long time, I’m just anti-talent.”
“I knew you’d say the bad things first. Now tell me those three things you like about yourself. I’m more interested in that, as they are real.”
There was nothing aggressive in the boy’s tone, yet you entered defensive mode in an instant.
“What do you mean real? How are these three wishes not real?”
Unlike him, you were naturally more fiery, so Mitsuya realised his approach hadn’t been the best one. He rolled over, resting his cheek in his palm.
“I meant that you should focus on the things you already have. Cherish them or try to improve them, rather than wishing you were different, especially when you have no chance to change yourself in that direction.”
“I don’t need a lecture,” you cut him short.
“I–... I’m sorry. I tend to get all teacher-y because I have two younger sisters that I take care of. I should be more careful with older people who already have their lives straight and personality moulded.”
He apologised even though he was right, even though you subconsciously agreed with him, and it made you feel stupid for snapping at him.
“I don’t know things that I like about myself,” you circled back to the subject.
Mitsuya really wanted to encourage you to think about it more, to try and find good things within you, but it would’ve been just another unwanted lesson. You two were on a date, you said it yourself, and he hated it when tension arised.
“I like that you are radical and don’t go wherever the wind blows you. I like the fact that you handle everything on your own, it shows a lot of strength. And I really really like the way you smell.”
Not only your previous anger vanished, but the warmth forming in your guts got you speechless for a while.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, I didn’t do anything but stating the obvious. Now you tell me three things you like about yourself.”
“I like my fingers. They’re short but slim and bony and when I get my nails done, they look amazing,” you named one thing and a sheepish smile appeared on your lips. “I like the food I cook, and the fact that I handwrite all the recipes in a pretty notebook.”
“That sounds good. One more thing.”
“I like… One thing I like about myself is that I like you,” you said looking straight into his eyes.
“This one doesn’t count,” he pointed out, smiling, surprised you spoke your heart in such a moment.
“Ok… then,” you looked away, “I like my hair when it’s freshly washed. Like today. It makes me feel so beautiful.”
“You are. Now’s your turn to ask something.”
“Do you think people can be essentially evil?”
Not in a million years Mitsuya had expected you to ask such a thing, to change the subject completely, so it took him aback. He shifted a bit, as his ribs started to hurt from the ground underneath, and after a short hum, he looked back up at you.
“No. Nothing, humans included, is essentially evil. Bad things happen due to conjunctures, misinterpreted actions, or mistakes. I don’t think there is such a thing as pure evil. We are all made out of the same material and the goal is to live and do what makes you happy. Some go for extremist options to achieve that, but only because they had the mischance not to get along with the rest.”
Mitsuya’s answer pleased you greatly. You didn’t fancy him as a very wise person – how could he be? at only 23 – but his view and take on life were healthy and good. You posed the question to check whether your opinion was shared, and you felt at ease with the answer you received.
“I think the same. I also don’t think we could hate, to the extent of the word. We dislike, we despise, we get annoyed and we cut ties, or completely reject something, but hate doesn’t truly exist. Its opposite does, but real deep hate doesn’t.”
Seeing that new version of you birthed a new feeling in Mitsuya. He thought he had a pretty good image of you before, but the more you two spent time together, the better he understood how beautiful of a person you were.
“What movie got stuck in your heart forever?” Mitsuya asked, cooling off the deep conversation.
“Midnight in Paris,” you answered without hesitation.
Your laughter caught you unprepared after you realised the connotation of the movie’s title and Mitsuya’s choice to move to France. The boy seemed to have noticed it too because he joined your laugh with wide open eyes.
“Do you know the movie?”
“Unfortunately, no, but I think I will watch it since you answered so quickly.”
“It hits hard. The idea of getting stuck in a time-space bubble where you are happy and get to be whoever you want to be without any worries… it just… I cried a lot.”
Your description was kind of a spoiler, but if the movie was that good as you insinuated, Mitsuya was sure he would still enjoy it.
“Do you want to watch it together?”
“I would love to. But I will cry again.”
“I don’t have a problem with that.”
Starting with a conversation about self, personality and traits, continuing with one on the emotional nature of human beings and then jumping to all your memories related to that movie got you soft. You laid flat on your belly, and scrunched the pillow under your cheek with your arms. Next to you, still laying with his head above the ground, Mitsuya caught your gaze.
“We have three questions left,” he said.
“Yeah, and it’s my turn.”
“Go ahead.”
“What are you afraid of?”
His wish to change to brighter subjects got crushed, but seeing you open up to him, eager to explore psychological aspects, helped Mitsuya understand that you truly weren’t like everyone else. After a deep breath, he laid on his back and cupped the back of his head in his palms.
“I’m afraid of wasting my life. I don’t know for how long I will be here and I know that I can’t live one minute two times. I try to live my life the way I sit fit, keep healthy and joyful and yet, I’m afraid that one day I will realise I should’ve done things in a different manner but it would be too late. That’s why I always try to make the best decisions in everything and trust my instincts.”
You listened to him carefully, gulping whenever you felt like becoming too emotional. You didn’t want to tear up again, how would you look in his eyes if you let the waterworks out that fast every time? Alas, the thought that his fear was much more justified than yours, you sunk your face in the pillow to muffle your sniffle.
“I’m sorry if I got you one more concern. I am always honest and you chose the questions so…”
“My greatest fear is to be alone,” you said.” Not wanted by anyone, not useful to anyone, just living day by day alone, without someone to share my little happy moments with.”
“Ok, rectification, I’m the one to add a concern to my life,” Mitsuya said and turned to face you. “We should really ask simpler questions. Why did we choose to torment each other like this?”
Lifting your face from the pillow – nose red, messy baby hairs and the underline of your eye a little wet – you smiled.
“You’re right. I have a good question. Can I ask two in a row?”
“Sure, yeah, go for it.”
“Have you experienced anything paranormal?”
That was a big jump, but at least it had a chance to diffuse the sadness. Mitsuya gave your question a thought or two, pondering what fitted in the paranormal category in your opinion. Ghosts and ghouls? Time travelling? Telekinesis? Or what other science fiction motives?
“I don’t think so, no. But if you did, I’d like to hear the story.”
“Oh boy, I did!” You exclaimed, jumping from your spot and assuming a sitting position. “So, I’m not sure if I believe in spirits, but this thing blew my mind and I'll never get over it. I didn’t manage to find an explanation and I will probably never do, but hear me out. My grandmother had died a few days before Christmas. Everyone was in shackles but at the same time we were relieved she managed to get free from the suffering she was in.”
Mitsuya’s lips curved downwards and he sighed briefly, as a way to express he felt sorry for you, however, he didn’t dwell on it much since you were about to tell a fantastic story.
“We argued in the family whether to decorate for the holiday or not, but eventually we did it. On the Christmas’ Eve Eve we made the whole house pretty. We used the same decorations as up until then, we got the same type of tree, put it in the same place and used the same amount of ornaments on it. Even so, the Christmas vibe did not install. We didn’t like anything about the house. All of the globes and tinsel seemed to hang weirdly and it annoyed us to the point we almost took them off. On Christmas Eve, though, something happened.”
You managed to set the first part of the story, gesturing with your hands and all, but when you got to the main part, your eyes filled with tears. You couldn’t control it. Paranormal or not, it was a moment you would cherish forever.
“Hey, hey, you don’t need to continue. I thought it was going to be something scary. It seems painful.”
“Oh no, it was scary, trust me,” you said in a forced laugh. “I was home alone – the others went to buy the last things – and I kid you not, a globe fell off the tree branch. Nothing unusual, right? If the thread wasn’t tied well enough it could’ve easily gotten undone. I got up to put it back, of course, but I wasn’t sure where it fell from so I just put it where there seemed to be enough space for it. As I returned to the couch, another globe fell. I turned on my heels and bent down to check whether my aunt’s cat was in the tree, playing pranks on me. Mitsuya, the cat was in the door frame, staring at the tree. Just as I argued with the cat to stop staring like a maniac, a third globe fell and with it a part of the tinsel.”
The look in Mitsuya’s eyes changed a bit. One thread could get undone, but four? There was something strange about the story, but surely he could’ve found an explanation if he had been there.
“I got the pieces and again, put them where I figured they might look good. When I turned from the tree, the cat meowed. But she wasn’t looking at me. She was looking at the goddamn tree. My blood froze in my veins. I was so scared to turn around because I knew something was there, kicking the ornaments down.”
“What did you do?”
“I proceeded to ignore it and returned to the couch. I got my book and I kept it at eye-level, pretending to read. I don’t know why I did that, but, believe me or not, I was looking at the tree. I saw one blue globe that had been put way too high up in the tree. That branch was strong enough to hold it but it didn’t look good.”
“It didn’t move.”
“It fucking did. I watched it stay still, unbothered, and then out of nowhere shifted down the branch and fell to the floor. The cat meowed again, moved closer to the tree and stared at the blank air next to the tree. There was nothing there, Mitsuya. I thought I lost my mind. After a few seconds nothing else happened. The cat walked – didn’t run, just walked – out of the room, and I stayed there, eyes fixed on the Christmas Tree until my parents returned.”
“Did you tell them?”
“No. They would’ve never believed me, they would’ve blamed it on the acute pain I felt for my grandma’s passing. Also, there was no point in telling them anything, because my mother noticed the changes in the tree and she said something along the lines of oh, you moved the globes, so nice of you to remember how grandma liked them to be put in the tree.”
“What the fuck…”
“Yeah,” you replied, shaking your head, still moved by your own experience from years ago.
“That is considered paranormal, and be it your imagination or not, I won’t judge, but it was a nice way of saying she’s still there.”
“I know,” you sniffled again, but this time it was accompanied by a chuckle.
After such reminiscing, you needed a break. You got some snacks from the bag and shared it with Mitsuya. Flat on your back, both of you this time, you played throw and catch with some chocolate-glazed peanuts and laughed your asses off whenever you hit yourselves or each other with food. The Sun was still up, thus the weather pleasant. An occasional breeze moved the leaves, making them play with the sunlight on your face.
Mitsuya stole a few glances at you when you laughed with your eyes closed; he didn’t react too obviously when you brushed your fingers or your legs on his body; he didn’t let you know he saw you checking him out.
“There is one more question left, you know?” Mitsuya asked
“Oh, yeah, I forgot about it. It’s your turn anyway.”
“Can I kiss you?”
Your heart skipped a beat and you hoped he didn’t see it. Turning to look at the boy, you saw he lifted his head and torso to be closer to you. His eyes entranced you, turning you putty without a touch. You played with the hem of his shirt, trying to distract your mind, calm yourself, but the truth was the only thing you were able to do was to stare in his eyes or at his lips. By now, you wished he would just lean down already and press his lips harshly on yours – that’s what you would’ve done in his shoes, but he didn’t budge. And then you remembered that the first time he asked you this, you refused it. What a gentleman…
“Yes, please,” you finally answered, repaying his formality, but tugging at his shirt.
Mitsuya knew you would understand his behaviour and when you proved him right, he smiled and made his lips meet yours. Despite being so desperate to kiss him, you found it very pleasing how gentle he chose to be. His mouth barely moved across yours, lips playing in slow motion, lengthening the pressure applied on each other. You felt like hours passed before he stuck the tip of his tongue out, requesting access deeper into your intimacy.
His free hand found your waist soon and pulled you closer to him, making his body partly hover over yours. You had one arm trapped under his chest, but the other was free to use for playing in his hair. It turned out to be softer than you imagined it which made you smile mid-kiss.
“Do you like it?” He whispered.
“Your lips, your hair or the fact that we’re making out on a blanket in the park?”
“Whichever.”
“I like all of them,” you declared and resumed the kiss, adding a bit more fire to it.
You both tried your best to control the desire to do more than kissing, but at some point you forgot everything about the setting. Mitsuya’s hand slipped under your shirt and trailed the length of your spinal cord, and you moaned in his mouth. If it wasn’t for that dog which came nearby to grab the frisbee it missed, you would’ve straddled Mitsuya and only you know how much you would’ve regretted behaving like that afterwards.
Careful and kind as always, Mitsuya walked you to the closest bus station. He assumed you would consider it too much if he offered to walk you home. You liked him, that was clear, so he had a chance of seeing you again. There was time to get through it all, baby steps were what he did his whole life anyway.
“Is a second date worth it?” You asked, when you saw the bus turn around the corner.
“It is for me. If you want it, as well…”
“I do. Let’s watch that movie next time.”
“I’d love that.”
You waved him goodbye through the bus window and you felt your stomach twist at the realisation that the movie wasn’t playing in the cinemas anymore and you had to rent it and see it at home. His or yours, but inside a house.
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