#mmbo jmb

[socks-pawn]

pearl implied in her stream the other day that joel had to "slap his fish" (the noteblock sound is incredibly lewd) for her in exchange for a moss block, which triggered many thoughts for me

the hermits have an open secret that pearl expects people to pay 'alternatively~' for her resources, and some even pretend to need extra blocks just for the excuse to give her a show. (impulse desperately trying to justify why he needs HER oak planks, and can't just gather them himself )

some of the bolder hermits are more direct, or their more willing to tease her back

keralis is very suave, almost to the point where she forgets it's supposed to be a business exchange, and worships her til she sees stars,,,, or cleo talks to her in a way that makes her forget she's meant to be the dominant person here

meanwhile, others are far shyer/more modest... mumbo sputtering and blushing while she takes his tie off and guides him to his knees in front of her... etho trying to avoid eye contact to the point of her teasingly reassuring him

ust shfjsjdjd, teasing/embarrasment/exhibition kink go brrr (and pearl deserves her harem)

apologies if this is too long or rambly! this also is my first submission sooo, no signoff from me hehe

Omg nonnie I am eating this up! Yes!!! I’m so for humiliation and exhibitionism!! You are so right, Pearl does deserve her harem <333

[socks-pawn]

Greetings, I peruse oft but hardly speak, but you called for horny thoughts, and I quite literally have nothing better to do

So have this semi headcanon: (this is a semi headcanon because canonicllly the Sahara funds did all go to ariana. She did a concert for them, but I like to think it was a different kind of show. Also, Grian and griande are the same person)

The reason Sahara had no money at the end of the season is because Mumbo spent it all on lap dances from Ariana Griande. Her rate was Mumbos entire wallet for 2 dances. And it was so good, he dug into the company wallet for a private encore. In his bedroom.

When iskall learned what mumbo had done, he blew his lid, furious. Mumbo, frantic and embarrassed, all but demanded Iskall get a dance to understand. They argued back and forth until iskall finally agreed, as long as mumbo paid for it.

Mumbo paid for one dance for Iskall with an IOU, since his wallet only had metaphorical moths in it. Mumbo waited outside while Ariana did her thing. When it was over, Iskall came out of the room totally rumpled, gobsmacked look on his face, his pant button undone just enough for his boner to show, lipstick on his neck.

“Get it now?” Mumbo asked, relieved and smug. Iskall did his best fish imitation. (Mumbo can’t help but look smug even when Iskall pushes him to his knees to suck him off)

After that, Ariana was banned from Sahara for both Iskall and Mumbo’s sanity and financial security.

Within a month, Ariana is banned from every other major shopping center on the server for the same reasons.

After that, Mumbo’s heart skips a beat whenever he sees pink sequins in the back of grians wardrobe.

- ty for ur time🍾💚

Omfg eating this up!!! Aaaaaaaa thank you for the food nonnie ❤️❤️❤️

Also let me know if you want 🍾💚 to be your sign off :)

[socks-pawn]

adding on to a previous ask- I can imagine the knotting zedvancement to be like.. taking all of the knots back to back. that being said... who all on the server is part of the knotting train?

It'd be a big line up, to the point where Zed would have to dedicate a whole day to this achievement. He goes around to all the hermits he is a aware that have knotts and then asks around if others know if there are more with knotts. He raises an eyebrow at the list and for a second reconsiders, but shakes his head. It's for SCIENCE *cough cough he's just horny and likes have these achievements under his belt cought*

He lines up everyone's schedule so he can get knotted one after the other, starting really early and finishing really late.

In the morning he has:

Ren, Xisuma, and False.

Afternoon:

Beef, Hypno, Doc (then a small stretch break)

Evening:

Cleo, Mumbo, Keralis (he likes to cuddle after)

And at night he finishes the achievement off with his boyfriends:

Tango and Impulse <3

And then Zed doesn't move from the bed for the next 2 days lmao

[socks-pawn]

Thinks. Mumbo having a wet dream, and ending up rutting against Grian's ass. Him being fast asleep as he wraps an arm around his boyfriend's middle, very softly moaning. Grian waking up from the motions and noise, realizing the predicament he's in, and deciding to grind back against him. Gri shifting and wiggling so he can touch himself as he's humped, trying his hardest not to wake up Mumbo.

- Birdie

Sometimes the wet dreams are too much and you need a release <3

[socks-pawn]

TW Canibalism

Imagine vex!Scar and vampire!Mumbo "sharing" prey. They seduce their victim, fuck their brains out, then Mumbo drinks their blood and Scar devours the rest of them. The blood and meat taste SO much better with all the hormones and adrenaline raging. Maybe the mind control your followers went batshit for comes into play and the prey is awake while being eaten alive, but doesn't feel any pain, just overwhelming pleasure? I volunteer myself as tribute.

- 🪶

God I would read this fic, this is very 🥵🥵🥵🥵

I am a big fan of gore and horror so this shit is very nice. Mixing horny with horror is like one of my favourite things.... Imagine being aware of the fact that you are about to die but being to drugged up on mind control that you don't care, you just want more and more of them. The ecstasy of having your blood drained and flesh being torn apart hhhhhhh

[socks-pawn]

Okay so consider this- Mumbo with only his tie and pants WITH a belt(ofc 😤) and fingerless leather gloves 👀💦💦 Bonus with huge man titties because yes

-🍀

Be your ass I'm working on this, soon clover, soon!

[socks-pawn]

Different anon, but I love cuddles, especially sleepy ones so…

Grian: man is CLINGY. It doesn't matter if you have something to do, you wake up before him, he clinging. He wakes up before you, he'll still cling. Man's not letting go without a fight (or trade).

Scar: He's already open with physical affection, and he just seems like the type of drag someone to bed if needed, so yeah. He also not letting go without a fight, but is more willing to let go if really needed.

Mumbo: Man never goes to bed at the same time you do, but you always wake up to him clinging. Like Grian but more lanky.

Three of them in the same bed: you aint getting out. don't matter if your first to wake, you are the last to leave.

Doc: Could probably be a good cuddler, but it could also a little rough with his metal parts. Fuzzyness makes up for it.

Ren: Also fuzzy, and clingy. The feeling of a big dog that doesn't know its size and tries to be a lap dog is real.

Impulse: He already seems like he would give good hugs, so why not good cuddles. It would probably be very warm.

Xisuma: Armor doesn't really feel good to cuddle, but he's very polite.

(ive run out of thoughts)

Ren and Xisuma's ones made me chuckle, this is very cute <333 I love this sleepy cuddle headcannons, they make me soft :3

[socks-pawn]

Fourteen or fifteen for the ask game?

14. bruised / kissed

Grumbo

Content: vampire mumbo

---

The dusty mirror reflected the disbelieved man. His turtleneck had been torn exposing his right side of his neck and collarbone. After everything that had just happened, it was only now the annoyance kicked in. This was one of the man’s favourite pieces and now was totally unwearable. He traced the marks that were left behind. Deep puncture holes were surrounded by dark purple bruising and other teeth marks. The blood had dried up by this point, staining his light skin with mixes of browns and reds. He was still very lightheaded, feeling the room spin, he planted is legs further apart to keep himself steady.

The air was a mix copper, dust, and wine smells, intoxicating and very overwhelming to the man. He figured all his senses will be sensitive for a while until he healed.

Footsteps echoed behind him, shoes tapping on the linoleum floors as the creature made its presents known. It cleaned its hands of the man’s blood, then wiped at its mouth with a small cloth.

The creature, sporting the appearance of a tall, lanky, well-dressed man, made its place next the man, looking at the reflection the mirror showed back.

“I believe you need this?” It offered the cloth to the other, looking him up and down, pleased with the aftermath.

He snatched it, bringing it to his neck, dapping away at the wound.

“How long until this goes away?” The man asked, short and to the point. It brought a slight frown to the creature’s face.

“About a few hours. It’s a shame, I think the bite looks good on humans…” the creature trailed off, focused on the man’s neck. “I’ve heard rumours that if you bite the same human in the same place a couple of times, the mark stays. A way of claiming, of sorts.”

The man scoffed turning away from his alone reflection and stared up at the monster.

“You are not claiming me. This was a trade; I want what I asked for.”

“It’s lonely in these vaults, you know? A companion would be nice.”

It was ignoring his demands, tracing its fingers along the decorative frame of the mirror. The creature had no reflection, instead looking at the man with it.

“I want my Redstone and gunpower, now.”

It sighed. “Of course, a deal is a deal, Grian.”

He didn’t like how it would say his name, the creature enjoyed the sound all too much to his liking.

“I will return with your goods, my way of thanks for your service,” it smiled, straightened its moustache, then walked back into the darkness.

“Services.” Grian quoted, feeling a chill race up his spine. As if letting a blood sucking monster rip apart your throat was equivalent to borrowing tools or materials.

This place gave him the creeps, and the sooner he had his items the sooner he would leave the isolated creature.