#mock them

[theblueshark]

just woke up with a massive sinus headache and I kinda want to slam my head against a wall :)

also have to go on a plane today too

[sonofabludger]

What if all the queer community showed up to the str/aight pride parade and either #1 wore literally the gayest things they could possibly find or #2 wore super exaggerated “straight” clothes while either carrying beers or pies with oven mitts?

[nicocoer]

*pulls out map* why he is somewhere between Flappy Town and special interest mountain. About sixty degrees northwest of echolaic road. Just make sure you take the dirt road, second left. I've never been there myself though."

C.L. on facebook

[y-yumface]

[yunho/changmin] 002

yunho/changmin, han geng. pg then there is the matter of food.

For the second time this week, the refrigerator is empty.

"I don't understand," Yunho wails, sticking his head into their kitchen cabinets. Aside from the lone box of cereal none of them like, these are empty as well. "I was prepared! Where did I go wrong? I've been poor since childhood, I should know how to plan food to small budgets!"

Changmin peers over his shoulders, then abruptly pulls back, sheepish. "Oh. Uhh, I wasn't so..."

Yunho turns to him, so slow it is eerie. The look on his face is equally ominous.

"You ate all of our food?!" Not waiting for an answer (because, really, Changmin's stomach speaks for itself), Yunho jabs a finger at his chest. "What are we going to eat for the rest of the month?!"

“B-but, all we had was ramyun and instant stuff! We could buy fresh stuff? That's cheaper right?" Changmin's eyes widen and round, like he's had a epiphany. "We could cook?"

"We don't know how to cook?"

"I can use," says Changmin with his chin lifted proudly, "the microwave."

Entirely underwhelmed, Yunho can only blink at him. "So can I, Changmin-ah. But. That's not really useful. We don't have a microwave and even if we did? We can't live on microwaved meals forever, it's not healthy!"

Changmin deflates. "Oh." He pauses. "Well then."

After a moment's wallowing in self pity - and hysteria, I am going to starve and die, Changmin cries, - they end up in front of #04-02, desperately hoping that someone would answer. Preferably Han Geng, because he'd actually be useful whereas Heechul would just laugh at their plight.

Han Geng laughs at them anyway, but his usefulness still stands.

"Can't you buy fresh meat and produce instead?" he asks, after the two starving souls have helped themselves to his and Heechul's leftovers from dinner. Pulling over the fridge door, he sweeps his hand around its fullness with a flourish. "It'll be cheaper and you won't have to starve after all."

Changmin eyes the contents of the fridge, all bright green vegetable and neatly packaged meat, sceptically. "I think we'll starve anyway," he says sadly.

"That's what Changmin suggested!" Yunho beams, momentarily proud, before he realises he now has to confess their absolute and utter lack of culinary abilities. "Ahhh, but you see, the thing is..."

When he hears the full story, Han Geng begins to laugh again, but then he catches sight of their expressions, fallen and distraught.

"But you can at least work an oven right? Because they're sale at..." He trail off as he is met with absent stares.

"The - that thing with the knobs and stuff?" Changmin tries, then winces when Han Geng flicks him on the forehead.

Valiantly, however, Han Geng soldiers on. "What sort of pots or pans do you have?"

Their faces do lovely renditions of a real life ':|'.

"The stove, can you start it?"

At this point, Yunho's staring down pathetically at his plate while Changmin fidgets in his seat.

Han Geng sighs. "Can you at least boil water?"

Finally, the boys perk up. Han Geng rolls his eyes and pushes off the kitchen counter. He supposes, resignedly, that he's nice enough a person to help them out, despite the stack of paperwork waiting for him in his study. And feeding his best friend means that Han Geng can finally get some leverage on Heechul right? Right. That settled, he dumps their plates into the sink, then makes his way around the counter to chase them to the door.

"Okay, go get dressed, we're going out to the supermarket."

It's around here that Yunho realises he's still in his sleep boxers. He is red, and then out the door, and then back within five minutes.

"What you need is a wok," Han Geng calls over his shoulder, Yunho and Changmin trailing along behind him to the elevator. "You can cook anything in a wok.”

"Anything," Changmin echoes, awed.

Yunho grins and reaches over to ruffle his hair, cheerfully ignoring Changmin's offended squawks. Now that they're not going to starve, Yunho thinks, the future looks bright.