#mod teto

[reblogbaithater]

(Not asking for reassurance (yay therapy!), just venting)

‘Waking up’ and having moral ocd is realising everything is problematic and hating it.

I decide to revisit a game series I’ve loved/hyper fixated on since I was a child? Huh, those npc designs are kinda racist.

Revisit that movie I used to watch a lot for comfort? Huh, that’s kinda sexist.

That book series I read to escape reality? Wow, straight up nonconsensual.

That Tv show that helped me put words to thoughts? That actor did what? That other actor did what?

Like at this point I feel like I can’t enjoy anything because it’s objectively bad to enjoy stuff with problematic content. I have hyperfixations on all of these above+more because I get attached too easily to stuff (cough autism cough) and they’re all like ~90% unproblematic but gosh I’m so close to just going off grid. Right now it really seems like the only way to avoid anything bad is to live in the middle of nowhere and consume nothing. Theoretically I know that I can enjoy something mostly unproblematic as long as I realise the issues it does have, understand why they’re issues, don’t condone it and try to avoid putting any money into the creator’s hands via creative means but m y g o d does my whole life feel like a lie now.

Going even further to things that aren’t even problematic— I’m suddenly having full internal debates on the ethics of Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, putting my feet into the ocean, shell collecting, bird watching and more. Just send me off grid, seriously.

honestly this is real, especially after i've spent too long on tumblr or social media where everything is a callout for one thing or another. it's so easy to start feeling guilty just for enjoying something as soon as you notice just one thing 'wrong' with it. anon i want you to know that this is always a safe space for you, and that i'm sending you strength to keep coping with the guilt! i'm proud of you for coming this far and i hope one day in the future you'll be able to feel less guilty <3

[liu-after-hours-ss2]

//teehee, wanted to fuck with you.

// I understood just couldn't bring myself to do it.

[yourfavehatesgolf]

ramona flowers from scott pilgrim vs the world hates golf

[dappou-rock]

[voca-kin-stuff]

teto stimboard for,,,, well, myself actually!!!

these are all things that are stimmy to me and make me feel happy and safe but you can feel free to reblog and tag it however you’d like! (yes even kin/me. i dont mind.)

-Mod Teto

sources:

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[reblogbaithater]

When an artist writes at the end of their post "likes don't do anything! reblog instead!!" I have to suppress some kind of urge deep inside me :/

i actually hate seeing that. like i just wanted to see some fun art man why are you showing me this

[reblogbaithater]

oh hey some cool art

"REBLOGS > LIKES" "if you like this post without reblogging I won't get any exposure" "always support artists by reblogging"

yeah never mind not touching that

ughhh i hate so much when people add that to their posts

[reblogbaithater]

I know you must be getting a lot of white guilt asks so I wanted to see if it’s alright if I recommend some books to those askers? I’m not officially diagnosed yet but it’s pretty clear and I get a lot of guilt and fear of being racist, and these books as a white person have helped me a lot.

The first is ‘Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race’ by Reni Eddo-Lodge. It’s the first book where I’ve actually learnt what racism is—because we’re not actually taught it. I didn’t believe in reverse racism, just racism, but this is the first time I understood that that’s wrong and that racism is a structure and only goes one way. A quote I’ve saved is ‘no useful movements for change have ever sprung out of reverent guilt’.

The second is ‘White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Race’ by Robin Diangelo. It explains why we’re so scared of racism or being racist and why we get so defensive if we’re questioned or have a mistake pointed out — because we believe and are taught that racism is an individual thing and not a system. It’s also the worst thing we can be and any insinuation we’ve been racist is an insult to our whole character. The author explains that we don’t mean to, but we uphold this system everyday and that we will be racist in some way a lot of times and the only way we’ll change anything is by accepting when we’re told we were racist, listening, be willing to learn and grow. They also go over common ‘well intentioned’ phrases and acts and how they actually aren’t well received. They say that we do need to feel grief about white supremacy and our role because numbness upholds it, but it must lead to sustained and transformative action.

I’m not describing either with the justice they deserve but I found them both really powerful and informative. Even though I thought I knew all this, having it laid out and explained was really helpful.

both very good books on my to-read list! for anyone who needs to see this, these are great resources. thank you for sharing them.