Too Long for Twitter, Too Short for a Solo Post
(1) I think the worst thing to say to someone is, “I love you because you make me happy.” Say instead, “ I love you because you’re intelligent and kind, and the tip of your nose moves up and down when you talk, and your laugh sounds like church bells on Christmas Eve, and your hair smells like spring and all of that - everything that you are, makes me happy.”
The former implies that she’s only worthy of love if she makes him happy. We shouldn’t live for anyone but ourselves. We shouldn’t exist solely to make other people happy. I think love (or at least the kind of love I want) is finding someone who you like living alongside and who likes living alongside you, forever, and ever. As long as you both shall live.
(2) I wish I was one of those women who could say what she wants to say right when she wants to say it. Not in a quippy way. But in a genuine, earnest way. To be honest, and bright, and brave.
It’s something that I’m working on, something I’m trying to grow into. The honesty thing, I mean. The not hiding behind witticisms thing.
Maybe this type of bravery comes with age. Or a stubborn rejection of our current culture of “cool” and “detached”. Because we do live in a world of one night stands, and not being the first one to call, and meaningless hookups. But why? Why are we so afraid to plant our feet in the ground and get invested?
Maybe we doubt our worth so we don’t demand that we receive it in kind. We don’t ask for the courtesy of commitment. We take what we can get and walk away with our pride.
But who wins really? And at what game? Pride’s a lonely thing to come home to night after night. Some days, I’m ready to plant my feet and stand my ground. Ready to make a home and be a home. And other days, I’m classic April Ludgate.