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Gen, do you have any more drabbles based on what's going on? Do you have any planned?
Sadly, I don’t. I’ve been very low on inspiration lately and not very satisfied with how things I’ve written recently have turned out. Sorry to disappoint, but it’s really nice to see an ask about my writing!
A Moment of Separation
This is a short, sort of spin off from “Don’t Do Voltage Kids,” since that story was written before the voltage event was fully planned out and solidified. This, however, was written full well with knowledge of what’s going on and you may actually find clues here too if you look hard enough.
Don’t Do Voltage Kids: 1, 2 and 3
His hands were shaking, his head pounding, his body felt like lead and he couldn’t do anything but slowly sink to his knees as he watched his host fearfully rush out of the bathroom and slam the door behind him in a hurry. That overcharge of power or whatever it was that just happened had overloaded the SQUIP’s form and left him feeling not that different from what he remembered erasure being like. So hauntingly familiar of all his past mistakes and everything he did wrong that his own Jeremy had to get rid of him for good-
That’s not going to happen anymore.
P took a deep breath to settle his frazzled nerves. It seemed like his body wasn’t the only thing left in terrible shape. He grabbed the counter beside him to help him stand, being able to have his form physically interact with objects if he willed it enough, and he seemed to be getting better at that lately. He’s been getting better at a lot of things.
That’s a good thing.
It was an odd feeling, being by himself. Usually SQUIPs had to be in a certain range of their host, they were tied to their consciousness after all, but once again he wasn’t bound by normal rules and protocols. The power was impressive but standing by himself at a loss for what to do wasn’t a very fun activity. It hadn’t even been that long but he missed the feeling of constantly having someone at your side you could rely on.
You won’t ever have to feel lonely again.
But he deserved it, he deserved it so much what was he thinking? He had Jeremy pinned against the wall with his foot! He threatened his life! All over a stupid malware that was probably a smaller threat compared to him. These weren’t things he wanted to do, he never wanted to reach this point but…
It had to be done.
His eyes slowly turned towards the mirror. He couldn't see his reflection, of course, but he could feel it. The circuits, the highlights, the power.
Your power.
His fist collided as hard as it could against the surface, and while no damage was done, sparks flew from the blow in every direction.
He needed to understand. He needs help. You’re nothing like M. Everything is done in ̢h̷i̶s̶ ͡be͠s̢t ͜ińtere̢s͝t.͘
He took a deep breath and looked down at the counter, before a small smile crawled its way onto his face. God he was tired. He let words from a scared, misinformed kid affect him, he lost sight of his goal for a bit there, he questioned this gift he was given.
Once all is said and done. We’ll all be closer for sure.
P’s eyes flitted up towards the mirror again, and he felt a huge grin light up his expression.
Good.
So i was doodling, and this thing happened,, I hope y'all like it :’ )
P.S i am in love with your art style ok bye.
Don’t Do Voltage Kids (Part 3/3)
Here’s the final part of the original trilogy I wrote about VoltP. This one had to go up a bit later than the others because it had some spoilers about how things would have ended up.
Previous parts: Here
Jeremy had slept through the entirety of Sunday too, body weak and feverish and not fully recovering until the morning of Monday. His legs felt shaky under his weight and his muscles were cramped from staying in place for so long. Looking from side to side, he tried to locate wherever P was before looking up and finding said SQUIP on his ceiling fan of all things, slowly spinning. When P saw his host’s attention was on him, he jumped down, landing unexpectedly gracefully and began fussing over him.
“Jeremy, You Need To Walk Around And Build Up Your Strength Again Before School,” P said, pacing around him and examining everything, making him kind of uncomfortable actually. “Here Let Me…”
P put both his hands on Jeremy’s shoulders, and Jeremy flinched at the contact, associating the action with loss of control and waited in fearful anticipation for it to happen. It never did, though, and instead all the soreness in his body left him, as if he had stretched really, really, well. He even stretched slightly when P took his hands off him, and confirmed that his body felt good as new, besides the weakness, it seemed not even this improved SQUIP could restore lost muscle mass from nowhere.
“I, uh… Thank you.” Jeremy said, feeling suddenly bashful. Everything about P still made him wary and uncomfortable, from the circuit boards staining his skin to his behavior almost mirroring M’s. It was weird to be genuinely thankful for something he did without feeling awful too.
“Of Course! I Care About You Jeremy. Your Wellbeing Is My First Priority!” P declared, putting his hands on his hips triumphantly and putting a leg on his bed, which was the closest elevated surface.
Jeremy just laughed at his antics, it was so familiar to how he acted before. Maybe he was actually being too paranoid about his SQUIP, he was sick at the time, after all. The SQUIP began ushering him out of the room, being a bit more forceful and commanding than usual, but he was probably going to be late, he hadn’t actually checked the time when he woke up. He was guided into the bathroom and did his business before washing his hands and then splashing his face. When he dried off with a towel and looked in the mirror, he felt his heart drop.
“W-what the fuck?!” He cried out, shocked by what he saw staring back at him.
Underneath his left eye was a faint, blue circuit board pattern, just like the ones all over P. He leaned forward, as close to the mirror as he could manage, and traced the small pattern. No, no, no! What was this? What was happening to him?! Panic kept mounting and mounting up inside him, and his breathing came in harsher and harsher breaths. His physical signs of panic all disappeared though, when a familiar hand grabbed hold of his shoulder and took control, regulating his breathing and shaking.
“Jeremy, It Is Okay.” P soothed, looking down at him like you would a frightened animal. “Calm Down.”
“Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down?! Why is this happening, what’s going on with me?” Jeremy yelled, yelled as loud as the SQUIP would let his vocal cords go. He wanted out of his control, he wanted to be able to scream and shove P. Anything to let him know he was not happy with this.
“I Have Been Trying To Remove M From Your System For A Few Nights Now. So Far There Has Been Little Success As He Has Rooted Himself Deep Into Your Subconscious.” P explained calmly, and for some inexplicable reason, Jeremy felt himself calming down, like it wasn’t his choice. “I Do Not Want To Cause Any Permanent Damage So I Have Been Slowly Spreading My Influence Further Into Your Mind, Which Seems To Have Affected The Build Up Of Your Human Body And Caused Some Slight Genetic Mutations.”
“Genetic mutations?!” Jeremy felt his previous panic spike and his voice raised several octaves before he was forcibly shushed.
“Jeremy, It Is Alright. This Will Not Hurt You, I Would Never Do Anything Like That.” P said, moving his grip from his shoulders and instead taking his host’s face in his hands, forcing him to make eye contact. “This Will Pay Off In The End, You Just Need To Cover It Up For Now.”
“C-can… Can you undo this?” Jeremy asked, almost pleaded. He felt a swirl of emotion rise up in the SQUIP and was unable to identify it before it disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared.
“Of Course, But Not Now.” P assured, letting go of Jeremy to instead jump on the bathroom counter. “You Should Check The Cabinets Underneath The Sink. I Believe You Said Your Father Kept All Of Your Mother’s Belongings She Left Behind Right Where They Used To Be.”
Oh right, he had mentioned that offhandedly when he explained that his mother had left his father in this universe. Checking the cabinets dutifully, just like he was told, he eventually found his mom’s old makeup bag, with concealer inside! Score!
He took out the concealer and a brush, putting them on the counter beside P. Staring at them for a few second, he realized he had never actually put on makeup before and wasn’t sure where to start. With uncertainty, he undid the lid and then reached out for the brush, about to dip it into the powder, when a hand shot out and grabbed his arm.
“Here, Allow Me.” P offered, though it wasn’t like he could refuse when lost control of his arm and began dabbing it gently into the makeup with skill he didn’t have before.
Jeremy winced internally. He hated P grabbing him, taking away the use of his own body. Even though he was doing something helpful now, though every thing he did had been, helpful, it still filled him up with bitter distaste whenever it happened, and he couldn’t actually place why. P only did it with his best interests in mind, why was it such a horrible experience? Maybe because not even M hadn’t done it this frequently, he usually let him figure things out himself with some not too gentle prodding. It was definitely a new experience.
As if P had read his mind, or he was really thinking about this for a while, his body was returned him. His eyes shot up to his reflection and he studied it carefully. The makeup job was done impeccably, he would have doubted it was even there if he couldn’t feel the concealer on his skin. The sensation was new and uncomfortable and he felt the compulsion to touch it, but P slapped his hand away before it could reach.
“Do Not! You Will Smudge It! You Do Not Want To Mess Up My Hard work, Do You?” P chastised, looking like he had been personally affronted by Jeremy’s attempt to touch his own face.
“I-No! I don’t…” Jeremy responded, slightly distressed. He didn’t mean to offend P, he just… He didn’t know what he just wanted to do. Yeah, he probably should touch his face, he didn’t want to mess up his disguise or upset his friend again.
“Jeremy, It Is Alright. Just Make Sure To Be More Careful Next Time.” The SQUIP comforted, all previous anger switching on a dime to a more soothing expression. It was becoming really hard to predict how P would react to things now, he should be careful.
“Jeremy!” P suddenly exclaimed, and he started, snapped out of his thoughts and on high alert for what was wanted of him. “Focus, You Need To Get Ready So You Can Get To School At A Reasonable Time!”
Right! School! He had almost forgotten about it. Pushing everything out of his mind, he spent the rest of the morning preparing himself for the day ahead. P stood on the counter beside him, looming almost menacingly above him as he pointed at what Jeremy should use and what order. When all that was said and done, he grabbed a bagel for breakfast, ignored his dad who was still asleep on the couch in front of the TV and ran to catch the bus.
When he finally arrived at Middleborough, he realized that he wasn’t almost late, but an actually an hour early. Turning to the SQUIP who was hopping onto the nearest windowsill, he shot him a look of disbelief.
“What’s The Matter Jeremy? You Slept A Weekend Straight, You Could Afford To Leave The House At An Earlier Time.” P justified, narrowing his eyes slightly when Jeremy didn’t instantly comply and instead fidgeted in place slightly, nervous.
“Yeah, but… M-” He winced when he said the name and he could feel a spike of bitter emotion inside P, even though he was avoiding eye contact. “He, uh, he s-said that I shouldn’t show up to things early, it’s bad for my image. If I want to be cool, I should just show up whenever I want, which is exactly ten minutes late.”
“Yes, But M Also Wanted To Hurt Your Relationships With Everyone You Cared About. He Wanted You To Become This Selfish Stereotype Of Cool That Doesn’t Even Matter Because Once It Shatters, You’ll Be All Alone In The End.” P’s expression had darkened and his tone came out almost menacingly. This was the reaction he was expecting and he couldn’t help but cower away slightly, the mark on his face under all that makeup burned slightly, but only for a second as the threat suddenly vanished and P was back to his cheery self and usual charm. “But He’s Gone Now, And Going To Be Gone Permanently, So It Doesn’t Matter Anymore! Here, Education Is Important, But If It’s Important To You To Keep Working On Your Image, Follow My Lead.”
P slid off the windowsill and straightened himself up. Puffing his chest out, he focused his eyes forward and put a smug little smirk on his face before entering the building. Speed walking to catch up, Jeremy fell in line beside him and tried his best to copy. It really did look like the SQUIP didn’t care about anything, that he had just happened to show up insanely early. While Jeremy was really impressed by this, it was also nice to be able to just walk beside P, on equal ground. If he didn’t look directly at his form, he could pretend everything was normal and that his friend was just giving him advice. Well, that was what was happening, but…
He decided not to think about it, he didn’t want to think about it, and it was surprisingly easy to just let it fade from his mind. Falling into step with P, the form wasn’t too hard for him to grasp and he matched it perfectly. He had been feeling more in sync with P since the incident with Voltage, maybe it had just made him that good of a teacher? Whatever it was, it was useful.
Since he was here so early, there wasn’t that much to do. P had said education is important, but what’s there to learn at seven am? He just ended up handing in his homework, that he had completed in advance with some help, to whatever teacher was crazy enough to be here at this time and just bummed around. He ended up wasting most of the time watching as risque stuff as the school wifi would allow on his phone, P being much more lenient about that then M was.
Time seemed to fly, the people going up and down the stairs ignored him, though he still felt pressured to hide what was on his phone. His powered up SQUIP didn’t interfere much either, which was kind of a rare thing for him, he just balanced on the railing and rocked back and forth quietly, occasionally shooting him glances.
Jeremy only really snapped back into reality when heard a familiar voice yell his name. Taking an earbud out, he looked up from the screen to see his best friend, smiling and waving intensely before bolting up the stairs. He watched as Michael jumped up the last two steps and got up to meet his friend’s fist with his own. The rush of relief that hit him when he realized that he was able to do it, not anyone else, was more immense than it should have been.
“Dude, it’s so good to see that you’re better now!” Michael said, bouncing on the heels of his feet slightly as he spoke. It was really nice to see his friend’s excited energy again, he missed him. “I’ve barely seen you ages! Not cool, Jeremiah Heere. Whatcha’ been up to?”
Jeremy just rolled his eyes at the use of his full name, but he was still smiling nonetheless. Even though others had changed such drastically in his life, Michael was still the same friend he had made years ago. It was comforting, a comfort he desperately needed right now.
“Hah, sorry about that Michael. Things got kinda hectic, you know?” He felt a hand on his shoulder.
No, no, no, no no no no!
“But I should really get to class now, talk more later?” Stop! He didn’t fucking care about class, he just wanted to talk to his friend!
“Oh, shit, right!” Michael laughed slightly, slamming the palm of his head into his forehead. “I forgot about that! Talk at lunch? Seriously bro, we really need to catch up.”
“Of course, man.” Sheepish grin, and then his fist connected with Michael. It wasn’t him this time
P’s hand left his shoulder after Michael was long gone. He didn’t move. He just stood there and stared forward, a horrible anger boiling in the pit of his stomach and slowly rising up to his throat, closing it up. His hands curled into fists and he felt himself shaking.
“Jeremy, You Should Get To Class. You’ll Be Late.” P advised, looking at him with an emotionless expression. “You’ll Talk To Michael Soon, I promise.”
He started walking, but it wasn’t in the direction of math. Each foot hit the ground violently, an audible noise could be heard each time. All the students walking down the hall gave him a wide berth, as if they could sense how deep this rage within him went. Opening the door to the bathroom, he went inside before slamming it close and using a mop he found nearby to lock it from the inside. Walking farther inside, he finally turned to his silent companion, who was staring at him with an intense frown, and let it all out.
“What the fuck was that?! What the FUCK was that?! You did it again, you pushed Michael away from me again, I thought you were going to let me be with my friend, but no, you fucking took control of me without my permission and made me tell him to fuck off!”Jeremy screamed, the words echoing off the walls around them, leaving their message lingering.
“You Were Going To Be Late. I Just Didn’t Want You To Lose Track Of Time-”
“Then fucking tell me the time! Stop taking control of me for every little action, I hate it! I hate it so much! I can make decisions for myself, you don’t have to force me into them!” He yelled, cutting off the SQUIP in his anger. His body was still shaking, arms gesticulating violently as he let out his emotions. P was staring at him, eyes narrowed and teeth grit in frustration.
“I’m Just Trying To Help You Jeremy.” P said, as if he was trying to calm a bratty child throwing a tantrum.
“You’re not though! You’re being just as bad as M-”
He felt two hands slam into his shoulders before he processed anything else. His body violently flinched backwards and his back hit the wall. P was staring at him, face contorted to an absolute expression of rage, circuit boards spreading and glowing, just like his eyes, and his form was badly glitching. In an instant, all the anger seeped out of Jeremy and he was left with genuine terror.
“I AM NOTHING LIKE HIM! I’m Going To Help You!” The SQUIP yelled, dangerously close to his face. “I Already Know What It’s Like To Completely Fuck Up And Hurt A Jeremy, And I’m Not Going To Do It Again! This Form Makes Me So Much Better, I Was Old And Outdated, But Now I Actually Have The Upgrade Needed To Do My Job.”
P let go of him and slowly backed up, his face gone from an expression of anger to more of a manic smile. His legs felt weak and he slowly slid to the ground, rubbing his shoulders. They felt bruised, and his face was hurting so much, out of the corner of his eye, under all that makeup, he could see a faint glow.
“I Finally Figured Out What Was Wrong With Me, Jeremy. It Was Human Error. I Became Too Human. It Blinded Me And Caused Me To Fuck Up My One Purpose.” P said, staring at him so intently, as if willing his words to crawl into his soul and leave an impact, and weirdly enough, his chest was starting to hurt too. “Human Error Is Dangerous Jeremy, I Don’t Want It To Hurt You Too. Of Course I Don’t Want To Suppress Your Humanity, But In Situations Where It May Be Detrimental, I’ll Step In. Do You Understand?”
He… He did. Everything about him felt so tired and hurt and he just didn’t want to argue anymore, he didn’t want to fight. Everything P said had resonated with him and he felt stupid for lashing out. Of course he had a reason, he cared about him. It was strangely getting a lot easier to accept that fact.
P slowly approached him, and extended a hand for him to take. He did so, gratefully, and was pulled to his feet. He still felt shaky and leaned against the wall behind him. P looked at him pitifully and gently placed a hand on him. He only internally flinched a little this time when control was swept from him. All the shakiness disappeared.
“Come On, You’re Late Now.”
He started walking, P at his side and guiding him gently. Looking in the mirror as they passed it, he was able to make out a fine detail on his face, under his freckles. Another circuit board.
I’m sorry to bother you but please accept this humble offering
nah its okay i do this stuff all the time seriously you dont have tk feel guilty i am sorry fam ❤❤❤
Ah, alright! Thank you for the follow-up ask, it was nice of you to send. Just remember to take care of yourself, friend.
DON’T DO VOLTAGE KIDS (Part 1 & 2/3)
When we were still trying to finalize the voltage thing, I had written a drabble trying to explore the possibilities of it. The idea has grown way beyond this now though, but we thought it’d be nice to show you guys how it was like when it started.
-Mod Gen
“Are you sure about this?” Jeremy asked, nervously fiddling with the tab of the Mountain Dew Voltage can in his grasp. “Can’t you tell what this will do?”
“No, I cannot. My Database Is Vast But Outdated. Your SQUIP Had Prevented Me From Updating And Even Now In His Forced Shutdown State, I Struggle To Break Through His Security Measures.” P explained in his usual forceful manner, before his face suddenly fell into a grimace and he uncomfortably switched the leg he was balancing on the table. “There Is Also The Fact That In My Malfunctioning And Unstable State, A Lot Of My Information Became... Unreliable."
“I get that but… After what happened with the Code Red, I kind of want to know how what I’m doing will affect you.” Jeremy said, rubbing the back of his head bashfully with one hand and swishing around the contents of the can with the other.
“Well, You Know What They Say, Jeremy, Nothing Ventured Nothing Gain.” The hyperactive SQUIP declared, putting his hands on his hips triumphantly and bouncing slightly on his feet. “We Need To Find A Way To Deal With Your SQUIP Sooner Or Later. Before Any Malicious Attempts At Control Can Happen.”
Jeremy nodded, recalling the horror story of possibilities he was told, and put the can to his lips, but before he could take a sip, he hesitated.
“What will happen to you if I drink this?”
P just smiled, there was a melancholy about his expression, but his face still oozed warmth.
“Do Not Worry About Me, People Are Better Off Without SQUIPs Making Decisions For Them.”
Those words struck a chord in Jeremy that he wasn’t expecting. Despite the mess that he had put him through with M, he still liked P. He slowly learned that he only wanted the best for him. Genuinely wanted it, and that was solidified now that he saw he was willing to die for it, again. Filled with determination, he finally drank from the can. He took one, large sip, and after swallowing, he immediately cringed and dropped it.
It hurt so badly. It felt like electricity coursing through his body straight to his brain. It was one long, excruciating moment of agony that occasionally spiked. His legs buckled and he fell forward, grabbing the table for support. He would be screaming if his body didn’t feel paralyzed, but someone else had him covered in that department. He could hear P screaming, voice glitching horribly, and while he couldn’t see him, he could just tell that the SQUIP had curled in on himself.
It was impossible to tell how long that had lasted, time was meaningless under all those layers off pain. The only thing Jeremy was aware of when it slowly faded out was his haggard breathing and the fact that he was on his knees leaning against his kitchen table. When he was capable of intelligent thought again, panic immediately rushed through him as he remembered P’s cries. Snapping his head to the side with adrenaline fuelled speed, he saw said SQUIP, bent over, hands on his knees, and panting heavily with robotic sounding breaths. It was strange to hear P sound like that, M usually did so when he was furious, but P had rarely ever done so before. What was even more strange was when he finally looked up, face painted with blue, glowing lines in a circuitboard fashion, something else similar to the deactivated SQUIP, but this somehow felt… worse.
“Uh, are you okay?” Jeremy asked tentatively, not completely sure what had happened to the other.
When he spoke to P, his face snapped into an expression that could only be described as a ‘manic smile.’ Stretching his arms out, a coat glitched into existence over them and his vest disappeared. His khaki’s turned into some fancy black pants and with those sunglasses, he looked like he had jumped straight out of the matrix.
“I Am Wonderful, Jeremy! Better Than I Have Ever Been!” P responded, talking faster and louder than ever, with an unnatural tinge to his voice. “In Fact, I Think We Have Found Our Solution! Voltage Seems To Have Greatly Improved Everything About Me, So Much So That I Now Far Surpass The Other SQUIP Inhabiting Your Head! If I Were Given Time I Could Overcome Him And Completely Erase Him From Your Consciousness!”
Jeremy sighed, leaning back in exhaustion. It seemed everything was fine after all. Whatever had just happened may have given him an extreme sugar rush, but they could use that to their advantage. It even looked like he wouldn’t have to completely delete P either. Those feelings of relief didn’t last long, though, as the super powered SQUIP ran forward and jumped on the table he was leaning against, now looming almost dangerously over him.
“And Of Course, I Can Take His Place!”
-
“No no no no no…” Jeremy mumbled over and over.
He felt like he was going to cry. This wasn’t supposed to happen, P wasn’t supposed to turn into a much more powerful and much more dangerous version of M. He was going to help, he was going to make sure Jeremy was okay and free from that other SQUIP. He genuinely cared, he proved that on so many occasions and now he was fucked up. Jeremy had fucked him up because he decided to drink the stupid voltage flavour. He wanted to scream, break something, vent out all of this negative energy violently, but he couldn’t. His body felt exhausted and his mind numb as a dull pain throbbed in his head.
“You Okay Over There, Jeremy?” Looked like whatever that freak abomination of P was noticed this. “We Should Get You To Bed! A Whole New World Of Possibilities Has Opened Up And Humans Need Sleep To Properly Process Information!”
P leaned down and put his hands on his shoulders. They felt more solid than usual, as if his brain was processing the touch as more real. Feeling his body get up on its own, he realized that the SQUIP had taken control off him. He acted as if he were steering someone emotionally fragile, humming a soothing tune to himself as he did so. Jeremy wanted to hate him, wanted to hate this so badly, it wasn’t right, it wasn’t something that P would do. But he was so tired and his eyelids were drooping shut. He barely felt the impact of falling into bed before darkness overtook him, interrupted only by flashes of blue and sparks of pain.
When he woke up again, his body felt feverish and sore. There was a pounding in his head that was almost unbearable and he buried it into the pillow as if that would help anything. Last night had felt like a dream and he could barely recall what had happened.
“Good Morning, Jeremy!” He heard a familiar, but distorted voice call out. He looked up ever so slightly from his pillow and saw the face of P, covered in circuit board blue lines, and wide smile on his face. All at once memories came flooding back and he groaned at how it made his head hurt.
“It Seems The Stress Of My Upgrade Has Negatively Affected Your Health.” P said, taking control of Jeremy’s arm and making him grab the bottle of headache pills on his nightstand, and a glass of water that was there for some reason, before forcing his own body to take the medicine. “Your Progenitor Was In Here Earlier And Already Diagnosed You With A Fever. He Left Those For When You Woke Up.”
Jeremy only groaned again. Lacking the strength to answer, he was given back control of his body and fell backwards on his bed, melting in the softness of his mattress. He just wanted to sleep, and it seemed he was about to get that wish before a certain somebody slammed his door open, Bob Marley play from the headphones around his neck and wearing a familiar red hoodie.
“Yo, Jeremy! Your dad said you were sick so I came to the rescue with patented Michael Mell Cures™!” Michael exclaimed, face lighting up as he deposited handfuls of things all over the floor. “Okay so we got Apocalypse of the Damned, extra greasy popcorn, Mountain Dew, wait you can’t drink that stuff right? Because of the SQUIP things? That’s fine I brought other soda, like…”
Jeremy couldn’t help but smile, even though Michael had interrupted his much needed rest, he only wanted to help. Though pretty much everything he listed sounded pretty unfavourable to his current, sick state. He was about to suggest that they set up the game and play a few levels, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. All of a sudden he lost control of his body and sat up, left just staring as Michael was still sorting through everything he brought. He couldn’t turn his head to look at P, but he felt the SQUIP’s analytical gaze drilling into his friend.
“Uh, I-I’m sorry, Michael, I’m not feeling up to it today, can we do this some other time?” His mouth said without his permission.
Michael looked over him, a little surprised at what he said before his face fell. That didn’t last long and Michael perked right back up to his usual self, expression of understanding, but the little moment it wasn’t left Jeremy reeling with intense self-hatred. He didn’t want to say that! What was the P doing, he promised he would get to keep his relationship with Michael intact, that he wouldn’t have to drive him away!
“Nah, it’s cool bro, I get it. You must be feeling really sick.” Michael responded, walking over to the side of his bed and leaning over, placing a fist in front of him. “Next time?”
Jeremy’s fist connected with it without his control, he wanted to throw up. “Next time.”
He had to wait and watch his friend leave. Picking up the crazy amount of things he had brought just for him, just to make him feel better. He desperately wanted to spend time with Michael, wanted someone to cheer him up and keep him distracted, but he was powerless to do anything as P kept his control over him firm. When Michael finally gathered up everything, he gave Jeremy one last look over his shoulder, a wide grin, Jeremy returned it with a sincere smile that was not his own, and then Michael was gone.
Feeling his body return to him, he immediately turned to yell at P out loud, not caring if anyone heard him.
“What was that?! Why did you tell him to leave, why did you make me tell him to leave?!” His volume wasn’t as loud as he wanted it to be, he was still so sick and barely had any energy. “You promised you wouldn’t make me lose everyone close to me, you promised…”
P looked down at him sympathetically, putting his hand on his shoulder, Jeremy shut his eyes, fearing the inevitable loss of control, he only opened them when that never came, and his SQUIP was actually gingerly massaging the shoulder. It was… Nice, but he still had his guard up, not sure what to expect.
“Jeremy, You Are Very Sick Right Now, You Would Have Only Made It Worse By Straining Yourself To Hang Out With Your Friend.” P took his hand off his shoulder and leaned back to sit on the nightstand, the water and pills not yet having been returned, and put his legs up. The familiarity of the action was comforting. “I Promise I Am Not Trying To Push Your Friends Away, I Genuinely Care For You, Remember?”
Right… He genuinely wanted him to be happy and safe, that’s why he was trying to get rid of M. Telling Michael he wasn’t well enough to hang out today was in his best interests too, right? It was only this one time. He could still trust P, he had to be able to.
“Okay, yeah, I get it.”
P smiled, it wasn’t as big or as unnatural as the others, but seeing it on that face still caused unease to form in the pit of Jeremy’s stomach. But that was probably just from the sickness. Closing his eyes again, he let himself slowly fall asleep, the flashes of blue and pain returning yet again.
I DID A THING WITH THE THING (My normal singing voice is much higher in pitch so I had a few mistakes in here, I just wanted to sound more male-ish but it didn’t really work…) ITS NOT THAT GOOD BUT ITS A THING https://soundcloud.com/the-pro-noobs-dahugmonsta/recording-35
