watching source with the systems mom (ONE PIECE WEDNESDAYY) and we are. this close 👌 to the part where my brother dies horribly. im so scared. i know its coming and all i can feel is dread. borrowed grief. i miss my crew. i miss my brother. most of the crew is in the system anyway but were past sabaody so were all in timeskip mode in headspace and its hard to reach each other..
depending on whether we binge watch more source tomorrow, i am gonna spend either all night or the next 2 weeks (next week shes busy) agonizing over whats to come. over watching myself fight tooth and nail and knowing i will lose. sure i survive and i win the battle or whatever but thats not why im there and the reason im there is to save him and i fail. i will fail. there is nothing i can do about it. i can tank poison, i can come back from the dead, i can fight and snarl and bite and bleed and kick and scream and nothing will ever change it. my brother is going to die and im going to watch and there is nothing i can do about it.
ace, if you read this ever... uhhhh sorry about the huge feelings barrage? dont blame yourself for it or ill Get You..
actually though... i miss you. duh. i love you. also duh. uh... id fight that war a million times over if there was a chance that doing that could save you. id claw my way through hell for you, though i guess you already know that now 😅 id go vegan if it meant i coukd have you back. it would suck and id hate it but if it meant id get the chance to see you again itd be worth it. anyway. um. yeah. i love you, im sorry i wasnt strong enough or fast enough or smart enough to save you. thank you for being my big brother. i dont ever want to imagine my life as one that youre not a part of.
man, it was so much easier not having you around when i knew you were out there and okay. when i knew we would run into each other again eventually. ive been here for months and ive known this was coming for months but its only really hitting now that were there and its so close.
and before anyone says "just dont watch it" if i do that i will still be thinking about this i will just not remember the last moments i will ever get to spend with my brother and also my crew will be in the shadow realm forever so yeah. still watching, just gonna die about it
- monkey d luffy, captain of the straw hat pirates and future king of the pirates (fictive) #tuxsys
