Y'all not about to kill me while I'm alive
That one time when I dodged that cops nine
He told me I could kill you and deny
Even lie to make you like the bad guy
Y'all not about to kill me while I'm alive
As much as I've been able to hide
Behind the vile smell of addiction
Bottles broken bedside prescriptions
Eyes low high as ever in my mamas kitchen
Y'all not about to kill me while I'm alive
Some cats done used up all nine lives
That time my belly full of pills
Caused my mama teary kneels
And wonder as to what she had done to cause those feels
Depression in my adolescence
Was better off with my absences
I grabbed a blade to cut it out
Lies as I hung in the closet at ten
Wanting so early for my life to just end
No protection that time when my innocence was taken
Never told anyone but when you're around even now I'm left shaken
My pigtails in the sunlight
Erased by the low light brown of the reality of race
My face. My mental. Paper pencil me in some peace.
I turned to the streets. Harassed by the police. Black sheep on my fleece.
An outcast don’t outlast in a country built to break.
Break down on my neck back and shoulders.
The tears and lashes of black trauma kept worse as we older.
The worse has passed and I still survived
Y'all not about to kill me while I'm alive.