It's no secret that Headless Headmistress Bloodgood plans to announce new classes to the course lineup this fall, but what exactly can student bodies lurk forward to? According to our sources, the skulltastic new selection will span from the sciences to the arts (and every gory detail in between). It's been said some classes have been locked in the coffin for years, their syllabuses being perfected with the most caring third eye.
Here's a deeper look at what was just released! Pick up your copy of the final list at the front office and make sure to sign up early to get the beast class schedule!
Into the Abyss Algebra
This course is designed to assist student bodies in successfully learning the mysteries behind Abyss Algebra. Monsters will be taught using a variety of methods, preparing them for the torture chambers of standardized math tests that await them at the end of the year.
Other Worldly Science
This course is for student bodies that have a desire to become familiar with the supernatural, the things that go bump in the night and techniques we use to observe them. Each week students will have one midnight session at Ogre Observatory. Monster High will provide transportation to and from the observatory. Activities will focus on (1) Practical mythology from the standpoint of understanding the motions of monsters across time and space, (2) Telescopes and their use, (3) Nature of supernatural objects, which are observable with the unaided eye or small telescope.
Oracle Journalism
This course is the required introductory course for student bodies who want to contribute to the Monster High Gory Gazette. Through a combination of required readings, creative exercises, peer critiques and critical discussions, monsters will learn to develop both their third eyes as well as their sixth senses and will come to form a deeper understanding of the fundamentals of oracle journalism.
Phantom Photography 101
Building on methods and tools explored in Chop-shop for Photographers, this course offers an introduction to Phantom Photography techniques. Through demonstrations and readings, students learn to make slimy selection and color correction, scream of the crop editing and principles of creepology that are utilized in the photography process. Emphasis is on the development and exploration of a phantastic vision and the creation of a diabolical portfolio. Must be a Tell Tale Arts and Sciences student to enroll.
My daughter's recent trip into the recesses of the Monster High catacombs not only disturbs, but also angers me.
Should not a skeleton key, such as the one that opens up my former laboratory, be under strict supervision by the Monster High Administration at all times? The catacombs can be a frightful place, and unsupervised monsters should never be allowed inside. When I was but a young monster conducting my first experiments down there, the school was reported to have lost 13 student bodies to the mysterious underbelly.
Readers of your esteemed publication should take heed this warning – do not go into the catacombs without an ancient adult present. There are things down there that no monster should ever have to see. That being said, I am quite happy that Frankie unearthed my beloved childhood pet that had been missing for the better part of a few centuries.
Every year I'm handed what seems like a village full of student bodies that refuse to abide by my simple, but extremely important Mad Science Laboratory rules. Do you think I created these rules simply to punish the innocent? No. They are in place to protect you, the slimy students, from getting your grubby little claws on expensive equipment that you might break. So for those of you who are having trouble remembering how to behave in my class, let’s do a quick breakdown:
Don't be late.
No iCoffins in class.
I reserve the right to reassign lab partners.
Don't meddle with laboratory equipment that does not belong to you!
That last rule is particularly important to the six students that were just assigned detention (you know who you are).
The Monster High administration would like to remind monsters everywhere about the health concerns that can plague student bodies during the summer months. While grime flu and the uncommon cold are two illnesses to be on the lookout for, Headless Headmistress Bloodgood is most concerned about the spread of the ghastly polka dot fever.
"Polka dot fever is not something to be taken lightly," HH Bloodgood told reporters. "It can haunt a monster for weeks if not treated properly." While there are catacombs filled with rumored remedies, the MH Witch Doctor reports that few of them are actually ever successful.
What does work? Rest, relaxation, and a little love from your beast ghoulfriends.
The Gory Gazette has some breaking news: APRIL FOOLS, ghouls! While the Son of the Invisible Man is headed to MH as a new student body, he hasn't materialized quite yet.
Bloodgood to Dance Chaperones ~ Watch Out for Rotten Student Bodies
February 12, 2012
The Gory Gazette has just unearthed a classified memo from the office of Headless Headmistress Bloodgood. What appears to be a letter to the chaperones of the upcoming Valentine’s Day Dance has been re-printed below. The sources, for now, will remain locked in the coffin.
NOTE COPY
Attention Chaperones!
Thank you for volunteering your Valentine's Day to watch over our student body ball. While our students are known for displaying exemplary behavior, select monsters should be given an extra caring eye to prevent any mischief.
Watch List
Heath Burns – known for heating up. Chaperones will be issued a fire extinguisher in the form of a corsage to help douse any situations that flame up.
Manny Taur – a bit of a bully. Extra detention slips are available for poor behavior.
Nefera De Nile – not a current student, but may make a royal appearance. Please keep her away from her sister, Cleo De Nile, at all costs.
Toralei, Purrsephone and Meowlody – watch out for cat and mouse games. Any and all hissing should be reprimanded immediately.
As a reminder, please arrive on campus 30 minutes prior to the start of the dance. All necessary supplies will be distributed at that time.
UFBs (unidentified flying bugs) have been spotted lurking around Monster High's cursed kitchen for the past few days. The horrific infestation has resulted in the closing of both the kitchen and creepateria for at least the next week. Students across campus are moaning over the pesky nuisance.
"Students, we apologize for this ghastly inconvenience," said Headless Headmistress Bloodgood in a memo acquired by MHGG, "Please bring bag lunches for the remainder of the week." The traditionally popular menu, which includes eyeball subs, clamburgers, and furry nuggets, has been buried as a result of this most recent plague.
Despite groans to the contrary, the MH Administration says students shouldn't fret over this minor setback. The Creeperific Clean & Co. has been hired to exterminate the bugs in the cursed kitchen. In the meantime, Headless Headmistress Bloodgood has asked all student bodies to wash their hands and resist forming an angry mob in the halls. She insists the Creepateria will be pieced back together in no time.
