Around here, the start of a new month brings an important tradition that I'm making up right now: Stealing game award categories from old magazines or Web sites, and then giving those awards to the Itch.io games I reviewed over the last month. I think it's going to be a very hot feature.
This month's plagiarism is brought to you by the 2001 Nintendo Power Awards (minus platform-specific categories like "Best Nintendo GameCube Graphics"), found in volume 156, pages 116-123.
[Editor's note: Probably should have taken a closer look at the magazine before committing to this. So many categories! Aaa!]
Best Overall Game: 10s
I played 1s, 2s, 3s, and 4s this month, but I didn't give out a single 5/5. The closest I got was 10s.
Best Overall Graphics: A Hole New World
It looks like a really good-looking NES game, but better.
Best Opening Sequence: A Hole New World
It looks like a really good-looking NES game, but better.
Best Music: 2000:1: A Space Felony
It's all public domain classical music, because that's what the 2001: A Space Odyssey soundtrack was, and that was a great soundtrack! It was so good it was prominently displayed on a shelf in a store in A Clockwork Orange, another movie with a great soundtrack filled with classical music. Game developers, movie directors: This stuff is free. You can just take it, for free!
Best Sound: 10mg: Sealed Estate
The second you notice that you're never in danger, this game falls to pieces, but up until that point, the sound design did a nice job of convincing me that there might be a scary threat on my tail.
Best Voice Acting: 2064: Read Only Memories
This game is packed with words. There are hours and hours of voice acting, and just about all of it is good to great.
Best Driving Game: 10 in 1 game-a-week bundle!
There's a little top-down driving/drifting thing in here that's not completely objectionable. "Best" doesn't always mean "good."
Best RPG/Strategy Game: 9 Till Void
Think several moves ahead, or charge forward and worry about the consequences later. Either way, it's a good time.
I know there weren't a lot of either on Nintendo systems in 2001, but lumping RPG and Strategy into a single category was a weird choice, Nintendo Power. (Golden Sun won, with Paper Mario and Pokémon Crystal as runners-up.)
Best Puzzler: A Good Snowman Is Hard to Build
I wrote a pretty harsh review of a Sokoban-like earlier today. It's nice to be reminded that this kind of a game can be quite good.
Best Sports Game: 10s
Well, duh.
Best Sequel: 2000:1: A Space Felony
I'm counting this as an unofficial 2001: A Space Odyssey sequel, and if you have any objections to that, I'll see you in robot space court.
Best Revival Game: 1993 Space Machine
Development was nearly complete in 1993. The team broke up over some teenage drama. One of them found the old disk 22 years later, and it was finally released in 2016. Decades in the making, and the result is a top-notch space shooter.
Best Replay Value: 1993 Space Machine
A shop with more weapons than you could ever afford in a single run is great incentive to go back and try old levels with a new loadout. Multiplayer and absurd difficulty options are there for those who want them.
Best Use of a License: Unity
This category is meant to be for integration of a licensed intellectual property. (Nintendo Power gave it to Star Wars Rogue Squadron II: Rogue Leader. Runners-up: The Simpsons: Road Rage and Batman Vengeance. I understand wanting to praise one of the most highly acclaimed Star Wars games of all time, but if you can't even come up with three serious nominees, maybe cut that category.)
Considering how many Unity splash screens and launchers I saw this month, I have to give it up to the license that is empowering so many indies to get things made, even if I'd rather not play some of them.
Best Build-Your-Own: 1993 Space Machine
You put the guns on the space ship.
Most Innovative Game: 10s
I've said this a lot in the last few weeks, but Tennis + Rogue + Shooter. It shouldn't work! It works!
Best Minigame: A Mortician's Tale (Cremation)
Slicing corpses and draining their blood is the obvious choice, but I gotta go with the one where you grind up the bones and dump 'em in an urn.
I might not be the target audience for this game.
Best Multiplayer Mode: 1993 Space Machine
Hard to judge since I haven't played any of these games with another person, but I'm confident I'm picking the right one. I'm curious about 10s with a second player, but I believe that's versus only; not co-op. That's not what I want out of 10s.
Best New Villain: 2064: Read Only Memories (That one bigot)
James Stephanie Sterling as the giddy leader of a hate group is a sickening monster, as a bigot ought to be.
Best New Character: 2064: Read Only Memories (That one bigot)
Please don't read this as encouragement to attack minorities in real life. Read it as encouragement to mock bigotry. Don't let would-be followers take would-be leaders seriously.
Most Difficult Boss: A Hole New World (The bosses I couldn't reach)
The harpy at the end of Level 4 nearly broke me. I can only imagine what's waiting in Levels 5 and 6.
Cutest Character: A Good Snowman Is Hard to Build (Licorice Dots candy with rubber hose arms and legs)
A little blob thing that builds snowmen and hugs them? I don't know if that's safe for the snowmen, 'cause even from a safe distance, it's melting my heart.
Best New Weapon/Item: 2d flight simulator (Reverse engines)
Is the plane supposed to be able to stop in mid-air and fly backwards? Probably not, but technology like that could really disrupt the air travel market.
Best Secret/Unlockable Character: 10 Flights of Ballooning
Even though its movements are copied from the regular character, taking control of the man-eating fish from Balloon Fight pleases me.
Weirdest Title: 6 pack of craft games
Sorry, a completely normal dating simulation that is definitely sweet, innocent and normal. I know you were campaigning hard for this award, but you didn't count on a collection of not six pieces of software, most of which are not games.
Best In-Game Text/Dialogue: 2064: Read Only Memories
I wish a more critical editor had been on staff. Regardless, the absurd amount of text/dialogue is generally strong enough that no other game this month comes close.
Coolest Box Art: 2 9 0 1 / / FREELANCER
A chaotic CGA nightmare. Love it.
Most Overlooked Game: 9 Till Void
I don't know who's overlooking them. I looked at all of them. None of these games have broken out into the mainstream, have they? I'm going to trust my gut and say, uh, look at 9 Till Void.
Strangest Concept or Plotline: 4-LEGGED-HEROINE
COVID lockdown delivery dog can't stop running into stacks of tires.
Best Way to Amaze Your Friends: 1977: Radio Aut (Do it yourself)
Follow real-world activist Peppino Impastato's example. Dedicate your life to social justice and freeing civilians from Mafia rule.
Best Game URL: A e r o c r a f t
The arguments in the comments section are gloriously embarrassing.
Most Frustrating Moment: 1,000 Heads Among the Trees (Going the wrong way)
The game gives hints about where to go and what to do. Ignore them. Except the ones that aren't misleading. You need those.
The Hardest Job In All of Gaming: 2064: Read Only Memories (Completing it in a single, seven-hour stretch)
Going through personal stuff and also having a migraine that day didn't help.
I wanted to share my latest creation with you. I designed a finances page to help you keep track of your expenses and income. What do you think about it? Do you use your regular planner to plan your finances or do you use an external program?
Love, Paula
Hallo zusammen!
Ich wollte meine neuste Kreation mit euch teilen. Ich habe eine Seite für Finances entworfen, die euch dabei helfen soll Ausgaben und Einkünfte im Blick zu behalten. Was denkt ihr darüber? Nutzt ihr euren regulären Planer für die Planung eurer Finanzen oder nutzt ihr ein externes Programm?
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Memories of December. It honestly just whizzed by, in a blur of tinsel, lights, festivity and joy. You were everything I hoped for . Thank you, see ya soon! All my love, Pooja . . . #monthinagrid #monthlyfavorites #monthinreview #collage #flowers #flowerstagram #December #postitfortheaesthetic #aesthetic #aesthetictumblr #booksofinstagram #bookstagram #bookstagramindia #simplethings #adventureanywhere #lifeofadventure #indianblogger #lifestylephotography https://www.instagram.com/p/BsY6aiRHif1/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=jp0hf1yhxjno
