Hey Taylor (@taylorswift )(and everyone else)
It's Nikkie! Today ( August sixth) is ONE YEAR from when I met you! This month also marks FIVE YEARS from when you followed me here on Tumblr. Time needs to stop moving. I'm 20 now; I'm not okay with this.
Anyways.
Last time I wrote you an update was back in May. I'm still really bad with remembering on the sixth. You do something for close to four years, and then try to change it... It's hard lol.
I guess I'll start where I left off and go from there. That guy that I mentioned in the last update? Still complicated. Not as complicated, because there's nothing outwardly romantic about our relationship anymore. But still complicated. I've come to I**e him, and it sucks. I don't want to say it, but it's true. I've talked to a couple other guys since then, but it just doesn't sit well with me.
As for the mutual friend of ours, she blocked me on social media when I decided to take a break for a week or so. With no explanation. I wasn't mad then, and I'm not mad now. It hurt, but I wasn't surprised. At least when I stop being friends with someone, I tell them why. I saw her once while she was walking to work and I was doing door greeter duty. It gave me a full on panic attack. Luckily my managers are super receptive to that kind of thing, and can let me cool down.
Speaking of work, I went back in June. I was offered more hours, so I'm working 25-30 hours per week. This is only temporary, since the store I'm working for closes permanently in September, but I'm taking all the hours I can get. It was really overwhelming at first, but I asked for my days off to be split up and it made it much more managble.
Honestly, my life has mostly been work, sleep, repeat. I have hung out with friends a few times though. On the fourth of July, I hung out with one of my friends before she went into work ( she's a caption teller who works nights), and then Meg drove down from Phoenix to see me! We got Eegees (a Tucson sandwich and slushy place that I love) and did sparklers!
When you announced folklore I was actually with Ashleigh ( the caption teller). We had a wine night and watched parks and rec. (I am sorry to say, not a fan of red wine. We had Moscotto and Apple Cider. That's more my vibe). I had woken up to use the bathroom and noticed that the Glendale Gals group chat was lighting up at 5am. I woke Ashleigh up with "TS8 At Midnight" and I think that's a moment I'll never forget. (Although my favorite album announcement was when you announced rep during my senior year English class and I couldn't function).
"Mad Woman" speaks to my soul honestly. It's probably one one of my favorite songs you've ever written. I also weirdly relate to "August" and "this is me trying". Every song has lines that hit me like a buttersock to the face though, so good job.
Finally, I released music too! I remember when I met you I wasn't sure if and how I was going to release more music. I had told you Puppeteer had 2-3k streams (it had 4800), now it's up to 10k! And the new single, Traitor already has 1k! Traitor is a synthpop track that is produced by Ines Fernandes. I've mentioned before that I met her on stan Twitter... That's the one good thing that came out of that. I actually wrote it the night after my ex broke up with me. Needless to say, I'm proud of it. It got playlisted on a playlist called "Pop Songs Everyday", which is super cool. It however, has also been declined by a ton of publications and playlisters. I also used the "Hot or Not" feature on submithub and it averaged 50/100... Which didn't make me feel too great. I'm expecting to drop an album at the end of this year/early next year, so I'll have plenty of chances for my music to get playlisted.
So that's everything that I wanted to tell you.... I cannot believe it's been a year. I miss you more than words can describe. Thank you for creating the art that you do, and the world you've built for millions across the globe. Words cannot describe how much I admire that and want to emulate it someday.
Sending you so so much love right now,
-Nikkie 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 (17 hearts. You know why).
PS: I cut my hair a month after we met and its already back... Lame.