I did the promptober today :) The actual prompt isn't even mentioned until the end, but who cares, it still counts
I’ve been like this forever.
They’ve tried to fix me.
Wilderness camp, therapy, isolation, exposure, pills, psychologists, hospitalized.
Hell, they even tried shock therapy.
Nothing’s worked.
Some people are made to be doctors, presidents, billionaires,
and some people are made to be rotting down at the bottom,
trapped in their life of hell.
I’m the latter.
My room is a reflection of my mind.
My clothes are strewn everywhere, piles of dirty dishes sit on my nightstand. I can’t remember the last time I washed my sheets. It’s stuffy, the windows sealed shut.
My body has molded with the mattress, becoming a hard lump that needs to be rolled out rather than a person.
I haven’t seen the sun in weeks.
I don’t mind, I never did like the sun.
It’s bright, shines down on my face, and bathes me in its glory.
It makes me think. Think about everyone else, out and about, enjoying their lives.
Worst of all, it makes me hope.
Hope is a cruel thing.
Hope lets you think there’s a way out.
A shining golden bath on the other side of the trench,
where you can wash off your abject misery and become God.
My cat jumps up on my bed and paws at me, asking me if I’ll get out of the bed today.
I had to get him an autofeeder a few months back.
I couldn’t force myself out of bed anymore.
I pull the comforter over my head.
Not today.
