[pm] Hey. I know you're not okay, so I was wondering if you wanted to tell me about how not okay you are. And if you don't want that, or even if you do, maybe we could do something around not being okay together.
[pm] Regan screamed. I knew. I knew who it was for. Before it happened.
No one else is going to die. I'm not going to let it happen.
Just wondering, what kind of dreams do you feel like horses have?
I’m not sure! I’d have to ask them. I imagine they’d think a lot about hay. They’re always chomping on it. That and running from bigger, larger predators. Smaller predators, too, I suppose. They’re not extremely intelligent all the time from my observations.
[A sweaty delivery man drops off a brown box, topped with a large bow stuck on top. Inside is a vintage Easy Bake Oven, with all the parts. Inside the Easy Bake Oven is a lemon hand pie, baked properly in a regular oven by Morgan, and a post-it note which reads:]
For all the easy bakes tiny-you missed out on. And all the good you’re capable of, no superpowers needed. Happy Birthday.
[pm] Good to see the new year hasn't taken away your sense of humor. It's just been...quiet, except for my smaller, personal disasters. It's weird. And I know nothing is ever like, completely okay for you right now, so I just thought I'd....say hey. Is this weird? Is this weird even for me?
[pm] Yeah it’s been a little uneventful. Not sure what that means in this town. Either good or bad. But yeah thanks for checking in. I’m not sure when but, uh, Regan and I have plans for an honest to god date. Sometime. After. Guess that’s progress or something. A friend blindsided me with leaving the country but that’s-- Doesn’t matter. It’s good for you that he’s gone, though. You’d tell me if you were leaving, ri
[pm] Yeah I am. Granted if I wasn’t, you’d have heard it by now I’m sure. And if for some reason I was undead, I have a feeling I’d have a lot of questions for you. Anyway, how about you?
If You Give a Cat A Bone(doggle) || Morgan and Kaden
TIMING: Before Constance was yeeted forever
LOCATION: The woods
PARTIES: @mor-beck-more-problems and @chasseurdeloup
SUMMARY: Morgan and Kaden take Anya the cat for a walk and make friends. Sort of.
Walking cats always looked kind of funny compared to dogs. Probably because most didn’t put up with it long enough to bother. There was something charming about it, though. And there was something nice and grounding about walking with Morgan and Anya around the East End. Especially on a Sunday. Kaden was sure Abel would be jealous that he didn’t get to come but he had a feeling Anya wouldn’t love his dog as much as his dog would love the cat. “I’m still impressed you got her leash trained,” Kaden told his friend as they walked. There were so many topics he just didn’t want to touch. Not right now at least, not in public. Distractions were better anyway. Like she was deciding to test his compliment, Anya started pulling on the leash, darting after something in the distance, probably a rodent of some sort, maybe a lagomorph. “She might be worse at walking but she’s definitely better at hunting than Abel.”
Morgan laughed dry in her chest. “Oh, this is all Anya’s spirit doing the work,” she said. “You should see her when she actually--” Likes me, is what she was going to say. Because it was almost eight months since she’d been impaled by the side of the road and Anya still, at best, only tolerated her presence. At this point, she was more Deirdre’s companion than Morgan’s, perching on the banshee’s lap, trailing behind her when she went to any of the rooms in the house, and glaring at anyone who she thought infringed upon her time with her. Granted, Anya no longer attacked or hissed at Morgan whenever she walked into the room. Sometimes she would sit in such a way that her paws touched Morgan’s leg while the rest of her lounged against Deirdre, and Morgan would press back just a little so she could feel her leathery toe beans just a little better and feel so fucking grateful. It was hard not to be bitter at such a small allowance of affection when Morgan used to be the one she clung to and protected.
It wasn’t much of a surprise when the cat bolted out of her grip.
Morgan swore and took chase. “She’s good when she’s not permanently pissed off I died,” she grumbled. “Anya! Anya!” Stupid cat. If Morgan was still a witch, she could borrow her eyes and see where the hell she was running off to, but no. That would be too easy. “Help me look?” She called.
Kaden would, she knew, but it never hurt to ask.
They followed Anya’s trail away from the park and near the woods that surrounded Strawford. She wasn’t exactly being subtle, just a little shit. A hiss rattled through the air. “Someone’s pissy,” she said, unimpressed. Maybe her prize squirrel had climbed too high up a tree, maybe she’d got herself stuck on something, and-- “Oh, shit.” Or maybe she had decided to pick a fight with a bone critter Morgan had never seen before.
Kaden saw the leash slipping from her grip and lunged to grab it before the cat could bolt off, but it was too late. Goddamnit. “Putain de merde,” he grumbled to himself. Of course he was chasing a cat. On his day off, too. He took off after the cat before saying another word, he didn’t even look to check if Morgan was running with him or not. “What do you think I’m doing?” he shouted back at her. “And what do you mean pissed off that you died? She’s--” That was stupid. He knew damn well animals had personality and opinions. That wasn’t his question. His real question was why were they walking the disagreeable cat? Catching cats was a pain in the ass. Catching disagreeable cats was something close to hell. Thankfully, she was easy enough to follow, probably because the leash was slowing her down. Not enough for him to grab it, unfortunately.
His arm shot out in front of Morgan to hold her back. He didn’t even hear the hiss, didn’t see the cat’s hairs stand on edge. What he did see was the fucking bonedoggle across from them, growling at the cat. Shit. Fucking shit. Anya had a squirrel and was swatting at the bonedoggle to stay away. He pulled out a knife and slowly crept towards the monster. He just had to get between the cat and the creature. “Get Anya,” he said to the zombie sharply. He threw himself at the monster, hoping he could distract it from the bones. Easier said than done.
“Well if you had a magic connection with someone and they broke it one day and turned up smelling wrong, you’d probably be pissed too,” Morgan huffed. “She was my familiar, Kaden.” As much as she hated losing the one best friend she’d assumed she could count on in her death, Morgan got it. There wasn’t an abundance of hard theory on familiar connections, but her tie to Anya had been at least somewhat emotional as well as metaphysical. Which meant whatever it really felt like when she died, Anya suffered something like it too. And if losing a magic connection was anything like losing magic itself… yeah, might as well blame the lady dumb enough to fuck it up and come back different. Not like they could talk it out.
She didn’t understand Kaden’s plan to divide and conquer. On the one hand, the critter looked pretty angry, on the other hand, it was kind of...a dog? A maybe-demon dog? Couldn’t they tackle it together, maybe take some bones back as souvenirs?
She should have listened. Kaden lunged to wrestle the creature and Anya saw a chance to assert her dominance. She lunged, faster than Morgan could catch her, and scrabbled her claws around the creature’s side, trying to tear into it. Morgan ran to pull her off but the creature, still wrestling with Kaden, thrashed. The black cat yowled. “Anya!” The cat flew off, claws flexed, and crashed into Morgan, who bundled her up in her arms. “Why are you such a stupid, stubborn cat?” She whispered. Anya flailed, still ready to fight for her pride. Whatever this critter was, they needed to get rid of it. Morgan jumped to her feet and put her body between Anya and the demon-bone-dog. “How do we make that thing go away?” She asked.
Kaden didn’t know shit about magic and familiars, not really. He knew what they were, sure, but not on the deep level that the former witch did. He’d never really understand. But the plan was clear enough. Didn’t matter right now. He might not understand shit about magic, but he understood bonedoggles. And how fucked they were right about now. Before Kaden had much chance to try and find a clean spot to shove his knife through the creature, the cat had lunged at it. “No!” he shouted. Fucking hell. He didn’t need the cat getting stuck to the goodman monster. Instead of attacking, he reached out for the flailing cat and caught a lot of claws. The bonedoggle wasn’t interested in engaging with the humans, it lunged out, teeth bared and snarling at the carcass in question. There was nothing going to get in the way of the monster and its bones, not even a hunter. It barreled into him and knocked him to his knees. Kaden cursed, but lashed out with the knife as the monster darted past him. All he managed was to scrape the blade across the bone armor covering the creature.
Kaden saw the monster unhinge its jaw, ready to bring its teeth down and around Anya's sides. His eyes went wide, he didn’t wait for Morgan to step in, he just threw himself into the monster’s side, pushing it aside. And he felt his shirt get stuck to the fucking side of the monster. Shit, shit, shit. He pulled his arm back, his shirt tearing away at the sleeve. The bonedoggle turned and faced him, growling, spit spewing and ready to tear into the hunter, possibly take his bones for its collection. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he had to get away and he couldn’t count on his knife right now. His palm dug into the dirt beneath him. Dirt. He took a handful and threw it at the monster’s face, temporarily blinding it. Kaden scrambled to his feet and back to Morgan. “Killing it might help!” Anya seemed to agree, the cat was doing everything in its power to claw the bonedoggle’s eyes out. “Its spit is like fucking glue so don’t let--” The fucking cat was getting near the goddamn monster again. Putain.
“Like GLUE?” Morgan shrieked. There was no time to process; the bone monster was already thrashing its head, trying to throw Anya off. “Shit, shit, shit…” She dove for the creature, clinging to it with all she had. Her legs were too short to reach all the way around something that big, but she dug in with her thighs and clamped her arms around its snout, forcing its jaw shut. Anya’s eyes met hers, steady and inquisitive. What are you doing? Morgan couldn’t tell if she was judging her or not, but she clenched her muscles around the creature’s jaw harder. “Anya, off!” She barked.
Anya glared. She tore her paw across the creature’s face, cracking one of the bones at last and leapt off, making a dive for her decayed squirrel corpse and running into the bushes with it.
“So, about killing it?” Morgan cried. She couldn’t see Kaden from here. The creature was bucking and thrashing harder than ever and she didn’t want to know what would happen if it slobbered on her hand. “There’s not a chance we can just play fetch with this guy and make a run for it is there?” The creature grunted and smacked onto the ground, trying to throw her off next. Morgan grunted as her bones bent into her organs. “Maybe you should just do your thing! Before my bones liquify!”
“Once a bonedoggle is after a bone, it doesn’t like to just fucking drop it,” Kaden said, about to throw himself at the monster. Didn’t get a fucking chance, Morgan was already there. Okay, he just had to find an opening, a weak spot. Take it down. “And I think the same fucking thing can be said for your cat.” It was possible she was a more tenacious hunter than his dog. The one he got to help him hunt. Putain de merde. “Hold on a little longer!” he shouted. It was handy that Morgan was damn near indestructible. Almost. Still not quite. He didn’t want to risk her life for too long; even zombie bodies hit a breaking point. He didn’t want the bonedoggle to find it. He wasn’t sure he could handle that. Still, it looked like she had a pretty damn good handle on the monster. Hell, it was impressive and of itself.
Right, Kaden didn’t have time to appreciate her hunting methods. He flipped his knife over in his hands and threw himself towards the creature as it rolled on the ground. His knees dug into the monster’s back legs, pinning it in place. She just needed to hold onto its muzzle one second longer. His knife plunged down into the creature’s exposed belly, tearing through and ripping open its guts. Death would come soon. But not fast enough. The bonedoggle’s face broke free from the zombie’s grip and saliva went flying. Kaden’s arm shot up to shield his face, ducking away and shutting his eyes tight. Putain de fucking merde.
Morgan crashed to the ground flat on her face. She could hear the critter snarling and slobbering as it died. She curled up on herself as much as she could, ignoring the terrible angle of the arms she’d landed on. Then it was quiet, and Morgan couldn’t move her fingers as she struggled to sit up. Most of the critter’s saliva landed on her sweater, but enough had fallen on her fingers to clump them together. She picked herself up, wincing as her bones righted themselves, and pulled off her sweater before anything else could turn sticky. “Are you okay?” She called to Kaden. “I could use that knife of yours, if you’re in one piece.” She held out her stuck, scrunched up hand. “You don’t have to watch them grow back, I’d just really like to be able to use them again.” She looked around the underbrush and saw Anya’s bright eyes peeking out, her squirrel clutched in her mouth by its neck. She padded out and sat in front of Morgan sniffing her with care before brushing her head against her knee. “This is all your fault, you know,” she said, but there was no malice in her voice. She hadn’t seen the sly smile of her cat’s mouth in profile in so long, she almost didn’t mind all the trouble it had cost. “Thank you,” she said to Kaden again. “You saved me and my favorite brat.”
“I’m alright,” Kaden said before even properly assessing the situation. He checked and found out the folds of his shirt was glued to his jacket. He sighed. “My clothing, not so much.” He should stop getting attached to any article of clothing. He should know better. But he’d liked this shirt. Oh well. Kaden had just watched her bones twist and her body catort into positions no standard body should. Even then, he tilted his head and furrowed his brow at her ask for his knife. “Are you going to cut in between your skin? That’s not--” Then it hit him that she’d be just fine. She’d regenerate. “Right,” he said and handed over the knife. He didn’t really want to watch but he supposed it didn’t really matter and watched anyway. She’d said something before about her body being a fact and she had a point. He should probably just treat it that way. As hard as it was to just accept the wings at first, it would have been a hell of a lot easier if he’d accepted Bea’s advice to treat them as a fact. The problem was, of course, that those facts clashed with so many lessons taught to him as fact growing up; lessons he still hadn’t properly reconciled. He wasn’t sure he’d ever manage to.
Seeing her reunited with her cat brought a smile to Kaden’s face. It made it easy to forget the regrown fingers and the bonedoggle carcass piled a few feet away. “Don’t mention it,” he said, reaching out to see if Anya would let him pet her. No offense either way, cats could be particular. “Just doing my job.” It was the reason he really did like working in animal control, moments like this, when people and animals could be safe and sound even if it didn’t last.
Morgan gave Kaden a double take to make sure he really wasn’t going to look away. She wrinkled her face up in a universal signal of ‘are you sure?’ before bringing the blade down as quickly as she could. She winced and looked away as her old fingers tumbled into the grass. She was getting used to the regrowth by now, but watching pieces of her fall away, useless, no longer a part of anything or anyone. She whimpered with pain and watched as new bones sprouted and coated with sninew and blood. Morgan flexed them, testing her grip and her nerves. They always felt the same, no farther or closer to living sensations than before.
Anya sniffed the new fingers and scraped her mouth across them, tail upright and perky. If anything from the past few minutes had bothered her, it didn’t anymore. Curious, she moved onto Kaden, giving him a once over and a long, steady look before she decided he was good enough for one pet across her fur.
“Just doing your job, huh, cowboy? Do you say that to all the damsels in distress you rescue?” Morgan laughed and guided Anya back into her lap, fixing her harness and leash. “If you come back round to the ranch, I’m sure I can rustle you up some pie to show my gratitude.” She put on her best Texas drawl for him and got to her feet, Anya now safely in tow with her prize. To Morgan’s surprise, she rubbed against her leg and looked up with an expression that was almost friendly.
Kaden didn’t want to gawk at the oddities of her body as it was and he flinched a little as he watched, but he had decided not to look away. And so he didn’t. It was the only way to deal with it. Not unlike pain. The more you were exposed to it, the easier it was to handle. Training taught him that much. Probably not how his mother would prefer he applied his training. Too fucking late. She was more than dead and buried now. She didn’t even exist. Right. He wasn’t sure if it was better or worse to keep his eyes on her newly grown fingers or the dead ones that the cat was planning to chew on.
“How, uh, how does pain work? For you?” Kaden asked, before quickly second guessing himself. “I mean. If you don’t mind me asking. I just. I-- I mean, I saw you now and you--- I just was curious.” He rubbed the back of his neck and felt like a fucking asshole. Like he was being insensitive or something. “You don’t have to answer that. Sorry. That was stupid. You--” He couldn’t even finish his thought and just took the knife back and wiped it clean on the grass and then the hem of his shirt before putting it away. At least he got to pet the cat. It wasn’t long or much (he expected nothing more, to be honest), but it still was enough to bring his heart rate back slower, steadier.
“Very funny,” Kaden answered, rolling his eyes. Wouldn’t lie, he appreciated the brief moment of levity. The weight was still there, but it was a little lighter. “Normally I only do one or the other. Rescue the cat or fight the monster. This was a great two for one deal. I think that earned me two pies.” Not that he needed any more baked goods in his apartment. It was more than enough work to give them all away half the time.
“It’s different,” Morgan said. “I mean, that hurt, and I’ve always been an awful cry-baby. My mother always said so. But it’s not, uh, proportionate, to the way humans would reckon it. And I don’t get to feel anything too gentle, so sometimes, in the right context, a little hurt can feel nice. I guess if I had to rank it, that’s something like a four or a five? But for you, losing an extremity would be a lot closer to ten, right?” She shrugged and wiped the corners of her eyes. “It’s okay, Kaden. I’d rather you ask than wonder or lean on whatever’s in your hunting manuals, if that’s even a thing.”
Morgan’s expression grew warmer. “Well I declare, officer! I think you might be right. But only ‘cause you’re such a good friend. I’ve got mama’s pecan pie on the stove right now, and I’ll let the second one be hero’s choice.” She laughed and beckoned him over. She hadn’t expected much out of the day, but for an outing that involved full-ass monster wrestling, this was pretty okay.
“Right. Good, uh, I mean thanks. For, you know.” Kaden said, nodding along as he listened. It was a far cry from “zombies are dead, they can’t feel anything.” Part of him anticipated that much by now though a piece of him still felt the chill of the shadow of his training. It wasn’t all entirely wrong, just sometimes taken too extreme. Sometimes not. Finding where the line was wouldn’t be an easy one, not from what he could tell. If he even wanted to redraw the line. It was possible he was still surrounded by exceptions. Only time would tell. “Pain’s sort of on a weird scale for me. Not, uh… I mean not like yours. I don’t think. But you know. Hunter. Training. That.” He wiped the dirt and grime he could away from his jacket and jeans. “I don’t know if I’d know a ten when it happened. Or ever call it that.” Most of him had stopped trying to sort the good and bad of his training and just accept it for what it was.Sometimes he wondered all the same.
“Is this where I say ‘no need, little lady’? Or something to that effect?” His attempts at mimicking her current accent didn’t quite sound right. Even he knew that. He laughed at himself a little. Only a little. “Anyway, I think it’s probably a good idea to get home before any more bonedoggles show up. And so Anya can’t make another break for it.”
