(I am absolutely not writing these in order lol, I needed to fit them into the story. Also this one is mostly background I think)
Phoenix discovers that Brynn has gone missing.
2k
CWs: hero whump, panic, uncontrolled transformation, assumed kidnapping, past abuse and whump, nightmare, asshole managers
“Phoenix.”
Phoenix looks around in their dream, very confused. That voice, coming from the roof of the shed, there shouldn’t be anyone there.
“Phoenix!”
Phoenix jolts upright with a gasp. It takes them a moment, but then they see the string of coloured lightbulbs, the light-up sign, the glow-in-the dark stars on the ceiling, feel the weighted blanket wrapped snugly around them. They're not in the shed. They're not in the shed.
“Phoenix! Get down here, we need to speak to you!”
Phoenix flinches, and then– oh. It's Wildfire. They throw a hoodie on and hurry downstairs.
The cell block is cold tonight, but they hover around the entrance anyway, red lantern shining off the brickwork. Wildfire looks agitated in it, tracking Phoenix urgently.
“What’s wrong?”
“Sovereign has escaped.”
Phoenix staggers back a few steps. Sovereign. Escaped. No.
“When? How? Brynn– I–”
“Three days ago. The guards were discussing it. I thought you should know.”
“Right. I, um, thank you, I– I should–”
“Go!”
And Phoenix bolts. Straight back up to their flat, flying into their room and ignoring any commotion, dialling the number because if Sovereign's out that means he'll be coming for them, he'll be coming for Brynn because she double-crossed him and nobody lives to tell that tale.
Her voice is groggy and Phoenix immediately feels guilty.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to, um, wake you up, but do you, um, is Brynn there? And can I, um, can I speak to her?”
“Phoenix?”
“Yes, sir?”
“It is you then. She left yesterday, to surprise you by coming back early. Did she not arrive?”
Phoenix's heart skips a beat. No. No. This can't be happening. They can't lose her.
“No. No, um, no, she didn't. And Sovereign's escaped and–”
“Sovereign's escaped?” Gemma sounds alarmed, and far more awake now. “When?”
“Three, um, three days ago. And they didn't tell us and Brynn–”
“I understand. They didn't say anything to us either. I'll keep my eyes peeled for Brynn, but your contacts will probably be more useful.”
Phoenix nods, then remembers Gemma's on the phone. “Right. Thanks. You, um, thank you.”
“Call me if there's any updates.”
“I, um, I will.”
They say their goodbyes and Phoenix dashes out and up the fire escape, heading for the roof. Because Gemma's right, their contacts are more useful.
They're just not sure exactly how to reach him.
It's crossed their mind before that he might have the place bugged. They've never been sure how to feel about it, but right now, they cross their fingers and pray to everything they no longer believe in that he does.
“Electrocus!”
They scream their call to the cloudless sky, a desperate plea for the only person who might be able to help. Because Brynn is missing, and Sovereign's out, and the only person who might have a clue where they are is another villain.
They watch the skyline, fists clenched. Come on, come on, please let him be spying.
They watch.
And watch.
He’s not coming. He’s not coming.
They look down, blinking hard. He didn't hear. He doesn't care. He's not coming.
There's a soft thump behind them.
Phoenix spins around, heart leaping to their throat. “Electrocus?”
And there the supervillain stands, arms crossed, weight shifted to one side. Silhouetted against the streetlights.
“Firebird. Who do I need to kill?”
Phoenix flinches slightly at the strong voice. They still haven't quite worked out whether he'd do that for them.
“Sovereign's out. I think he, um, he's kidnapped Green Raptor. Have you, um, have you heard anything?”
“No. But there have been… rustlings. Among the villain community.”
Phoenix swallows hard. They don't know what these rustlings could be, but if Electrocus hasn't heard anything… how are they supposed to find her?
Electrocus steps forward and squeezes their shoulder. “I'll keep my eyes and ears open. We might hear something.”
“Thank you,” they choke out. Not the answer they were looking for but… maybe. Maybe there's still time. Maybe Sovereign will do something stupidly obvious.
Yeah, that last isn't likely.
He steps back, nods, and they turn their back for him to disappear. They don't know how he arrives on or departs from HAL’s rooftop and out of respect for them both it's a secret that's kept.
Phoenix wipes their eyes as they descend the metal stairs and enter back through the broken door (thankfully, it hasn't locked automatically for as long as they've known it). They just want to curl up and cry, but they can't. They can't. If Sovereign has Brynn, their team is probably next, and they need to tell someone. The door slams shut behind them and they stand there, uncertain, all their brain on Brynn, Brynn, Brynn.
“Phoenix? Come in, Phoenix, what's wrong?”
Phoenix blinks. Warm, steadying hands on their forearms. Santhiya's face in front of theirs, brow pinched in concern.
They try to shape the words, to convey, somehow, the depth of what's happened.
“Brynn. Sovereign.”
_
“...and you didn't think to tel us that the supervillain who we helped capture, who Brynn defected from, has escaped? You didn't even think to tell Brynn?”
Phoenix huddles under the blanket against the sofa and watches as Kai paces, phone to his ear, looking increasingly frustrated.
“You thought– why would she do that? How would she do that, she betrayed him! He'd kill her! Just because you can't conceive that someone might have a change of heart– yes. Yes, she's disappeared.” Huh. Phoenix didn't know Kai could grow claws when not in wolf form. “Fuck you. Fuck you, if that's your assumption! She's a member of my team, she's a good person and has made amends, she's been a hero for years now and your takeaway is that maybe she’s joined Sovereign again just because she was once his sidekick? That she can't have changed her mind despite how she helped arrest him? Fuck you.” He pants. “Yes, sir, I apologise, but– I– yes. No, we're not just going to leave them! And–” Kai listens, and then growls, wolf-like. “No. No, if we need to go after them, when we do it, it won't be for an arrest, or questioning, because we don't operate on assumptions of guilt. She helped us arrest Sovereign, what more do you need? For her to not have been adopted and abused by him in the first place, since she was a small child? God. We're not arresting her.” Another, longer pause, in which Kai twitches violently, his nose seeming to start lengthening. “We're rescuing her. I won't leave a member of my team to be arrested over bullshit. You can always order us not to go, or put us on probation, but we can resign, sir, and I know that Phoenix Costello and Santhiya Choudhary, for two, are willing to if you keep trying to stop us from doing our jobs. Everyone is worth rescuing, they're worth second and third chances, and I'm not going to let you stop us rescuing Brynn.” His ears, changing shape and colour, twitch. “Yes. Thank you, sir. You'll inform us of any developments? Thank you.”
Kai drops the phone and growls.
“Management didn't tell Brynn because they thought she might see how powerful Sovereign is and decide to join him.”
“What? But that's, um, that's not– she wouldn't! And, um, and any of us could do that. Just because she used to be a villain?”
Kai nods. Phoenix pulls the blanket tighter around themself, hiding what they're sure must be messed up patterns on their arms by now. If anyone knew how close they'd been to joining Electrocus that one time… and not even because he was a villain, just because he cared. They'd deserve their punishment but even so, they don't want management ever finding out.
“Gemma had lots of shouting matches with management over me,” says Morfydd, dumping cinnamon into the hot chocolate pan and stirring. “They didn't like that I came from Razor originally.”
“Assholes,” grumbles Lian, setting the mugs down with more force than necessary. “As if you'd have been more loyal to someone who did experiments on you and tried to shoot you.”
More and more, Phoenix wonders why they don't just leave. Just get up and walk out of here. But they can't – people are relying on them. There's no point in them if they're not going to be a hero.
They hum in agreement. They hate this. And Kai is– Kai is–
Santhiya kisses them on the forehead. “What's on your mind?”
They nod at Kai, whose claws have definitely lengthened. “Wolf.”
“Oh yeah. He did that when your secondment got increased too. Er, Kai? Claws?”
Kai looks down at his hands with visible surprise. Clearly his senses haven't started changing yet then. Are physical changes first?
“Oh.” With what looks like enormous effort, the claws shrink back into his hands, and his nose and ears go back to normal. He blushes. “Sorry.”
Santhiya glances at Phoenix, squeezing them tight. “It's fine. We need to talk about Brynn, and not losing anyone else.”
Kai nods, pacing. Lian and Morfydd bring over hot chocolate, sitting down together. Phoenix curls their hands around their mug, taking a gulp. It's scalding. Good.
But Morfydd’s hot chocolate is definitely not something to punish themself with, so they try to just nurse it for a while. It feels nice.
“We need to pair up,” says Kai decisively, “like we’ve done before. One pair and one three now, I guess. We each have a specific person to look out for. And if we have to leave the flat we don’t do it alone.”
“We should, um, call Aaron too,” adds Phoenix quietly. “They're, um, part of the team and Sovereign probably, um, probably knows.”
He's very dear to Brynn. Phoenix knows he was the first person she trusted here, and if Sovereign finds out just how important he is to her…
Kai nods. “Good idea. You'll do that?” Phoenix nods, already pulling out their phone. “One more thing. The trackers, from the time with The Chosen Ones. Do you still have yours, Phoenix?”
Phoenix shudders, blinking hard to banish the memories. “No, sir. It um, I was, um, it got lost.”
They worry Kai will want to know more but he just nods again. “Right. We’ll figure something out. Everyone else, put yours on. I know Sovereign is likely to remove them straight away but… just in case.”
Just in case. Just in case Sovereign infiltrates, or blows up a wall, and kidnaps one of them.
Of course, being in pairs won’t help if both of them are kidnapped. Would that be better or worse?
Lian stands abruptly. “I'm going to cook. If I sit here doing nothing I'll go mad. I can't help being angry at Brynn but she wouldn't betray us again. That's a stupid excuse management are using because they don't like that she used to be a villain. And I can't just sit here while they try to do what they would've done to Morfydd if it hadn't been for Gemma. They take ex-villains because it looks good but they can't deal with fucking nuance. So I'm going to cook.”
“They’d’ve liked me to disappear,” explains Morfydd quietly. “I wasn't a hero or a civilian, so.”
Phoenix shivers. They're close enough to villains that if anyone found out…
If Gemma helped Morfydd, maybe there’s something they could do to help people more. Before they get to medbay. Maybe Aaron will know. Or Gemma, but they… she’s still a bit of an unknown.
Not now, though. Later. After Brynn is back home safe.
They clutch Santhiya tightly, watching as Morfydd disappears into the kitchen and Kai sinks down to the ground, running his hands over his face. They don't want to lose anyone else.
WoW's birthday event: day 9: aftermath of rescue | sickness | "you're burning up"
(does a hostage exchange count as a rescue? I say yes, for the purpose of this)
A day or two after Phoenix waking up in the medbay and the revelations that followed, they ask Joseph to check on Aaron (and by extension, the rest of their team).
Joseph belongs to @i-eat-worlds
1k
CWs: low self-esteem, mentioned past abuse, exhaustion, caffeine, self-neglect
Joseph knocks on the door to Phoenix's flat.
He almost hopes no-one answers and he'll have to use Santhiya's key. Then there's a chance they'll be asleep already.
No such luck.
Kai answers the door. Joseph can tell immediately why Phoenix was worried, even if it was only Aaron they mentioned – he's a mess. Clothes and hair rumpled, swaying slightly, brow furrowed in confusion.
"Joseph? This isn't INSUPA."
"I was visiting Phoenix, and they–"
"Are they okay?" asks Kai immediately, looking ready to run at the slightest hint of a 'no'. "What's wrong, what happened?"
"Nothing's wrong, calm down." Kai's shoulders drop and Joseph bites back a surge of anger. What did Abbie do to make Phoenix think this man could hate them?
"Then what–"
"As I said, I was visiting Phoenix, and they asked me to check up on you. Apparently the bags under Aaron's eyes look tattooed on?"
Actually, what Phoenix had done was apologise for being an inconvenience but could he please check up on Aaron? Joseph had felt sick hearing the fear there, like Joseph would do something to them for asking.
Kai sighs, judging the door further open. "Come in."
Joseph slips inside and follows Kai into the living room.
Morfydd and Lian are slumped on the floor, propped up by the couch, and Aaron is perched on the coffee table, looking two seconds from drifting off and falling, under-eye bags true to Phoenix's word. Morfydd winces at their footsteps. A selection of empty caffeine and sugar drinks and snacks surround them all, spread out around a sugar paper epicentre. Lian appears to have been snacking from a bag of whole coffee beans.
Santhiya's presumably still asleep with Phoenix in the medical bay, Phoenix themself talking to Vic about advocacy roles after she took one up for them during their interview with management (which has caused at least one panic attack so far, and which Joseph is still annoyed about). So at least no-one's unaccounted for.
"You all need to sleep."
Aaron shakes his head, taking a large gulp of coffee (which he doesn't even like. Joseph recognises this version of him from their course together). "There's more important things to do."
"What are you doing?" he asks curiously.
"Trying to work out why Phoenix thinks we'd hate them," mutters Lian morosely. "We don't know what we did, or how to fix it."
"How do they not know we value them for more than their powers and fighting?" adds Morfydd through clenched teeth.
"Because they can count on one hand the amount of people who have before." The room is dead silent. "If you slept, you'd work this out for yourselves. And I'm not taking you to medbay if you have a heart attack from all that caffeine, Lian."
Lian looks at him in surprise. That's fair. The others don't know him as well as Aaron does, don't know that he'd drop everything if that did happen.
"Joseph's lying," announces Aaron.
Joseph shrugs. "Maybe. But it's been over 24 hours since Phoenix woke, I suspect none of you have slept since before then, and I'm not going anywhere until you're asleep. Phoenix asked me to make sure you're okay, and I intend to do so."
"Okay, okay, you've made your point," mutters Lian. "Morfydd, shall we–"
They nod then wince. They seem to have got the idea, as Joseph helps them into their chair. They wheel down the corridor, slowly, Lian holding on, and leave the chair outside whichever one of them's bedroom it is.
Once they're safely inside, Joseph turns to Aaron. "Come on."
He shakes his head. "I need to go on my shift soon. I'll be fine."
Joseph snatches the bag of dissolvable HAL-issued stimulants out of his pocket and transfers them to his own.
"Don't you dare. Phoenix will be better off for you getting some rest, and so will everyone else. I'll take your shift."
"But–"
"No. I'm taking your shift."
"At least let me have a bleep?"
"Not until you've had at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep."
Joseph stares them down until they sigh. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"
"Nope."
Aaron nods, and holds out an arm to let Joseph help them down off the table. He pulls it around his shoulders as soon as they've slid off, stopping them from falling completely.
They're warm to hold. His own heart skips a beat. He has no idea which is the spare room, if any, so he just leads them into a random empty one. Aaron doesn't protest.
Once Aaron is sitting on the bed, they seem to come back to themself and say urgently, "They didn't think to come to me when they thought Kai would kick them out. They don't think any better of me. What if they think I've abandoned them because I let you take my shift?"
"It was specifically you Phoenix asked me to check up on. They won't think you abandoned them."
"Me?"
"You're the only one they've been able to see how bad you're getting."
"Oh."
Joseph pulls him into a hug. "Come on. Sleep. Phoenix will still be there when you wake up."
Aaron nods sleepily, and Joseph helps him under the duvet. He extracts his arm regretfully, and closes the door behind him with a little snick.
It turns out he could've stayed longer, because once he returns to the living room he finds Kai already passed out on the sofa.
Joseph smiles and shakes his head as he drapes a blanket over him. He could wake him, tell him about management probably coming round for their side of the story soon, but he doesn't. Kai won't go back to sleep, especially after finding out they visited Phoenix. He scoops up the mess instead, at least wanting to make the place presentable. The sugar paper – plans to make make Phoenix realise they're valued, apparently – he stacks and covers up, not wanting anyone outside of the team to see, and the caffeine remains he dumps in the kitchen, grinning at Phoenix's moulded Grogu mug on the counter.
And now it's time to return to HAL's medbay. No-one's waking anytime soon. He hopes Phoenix realises their team loves them soon, because it's so painfully obvious to everyone else that they do.
Finally, I can share my entry for the Guys in Distress zine with y'all! You can still get leftover copies of the whole print zine and merchandise while they're available, as well as pdf zines until the end of the year, so please do if you want to, it's very good!
Thanks to @blackberry-bloody for beta-ing and for the title!
CWs: hero whump, hostage, torture, captivity, bound and gagged, blood, burns, electrocution, shock collar, stress position, fear of abandonment, forced to watch, non-con nudity (non-sexual), dehydration, mentioned starvation, forced to stay awake, threatened drugging
"Got it!" hisses Lian, as the slot widens under his control. Kai stretches out a hand and the memory card comes flying out, almost braining him. Lian snatches it out of the air and examines it quickly.
"Definitely what we're after. I think. Now let's get out of here before–"
"Code red," says Morfydd in Kai's ear. "Solar Flare's down, they're heading your way."
Kai's body turns cold. Gemma. No.
Lian tugs at his arm. "Snap out of it, Wolfman, we need to go. Do your wolf thing and run."
Kai clenches his fists and transforms, taking a few tries but getting there in the end, senses sharpening, colours dulling. He lopes along, keeping pace with Lian, who knows the way out.
They turn a corridor and two of Moonstar's minions stand in their way. Kai uses his telekinesis to push one minion into the other, sending them both crumpling to the floor, and he and Lian run back the way they came. An alarm wails and the bulkhead doors slam shut as they re-enter the lab.
"Fuck," mutters Lian, "what do we do now? There has to be a way out."
Kai paces, looking around, and spots it the same time Lian does. An air vent halfway up the wall.
"Wolfman," says Lian slowly, "I'm going to climb on your back and open that. You can climb up when you're back in human form, right?"
Kai gives an affirmative bark and Lian uses a chair to clamber onto his back, ripping the air vent off the wall with all his superstrength. Kai stands as still as possible, moving furniture around the room to create a step for himself. They don't have time to wait while he does it. Moonstar or his minions could be here any minute – Kai can already hear someone cutting through the metal.
The grate falls to the floor with a clatter, and Lian pulls himself up into the vent.
"Come on, Wolfman. Your turn."
Kai transforms back to human, colour vision returning and smell and hearing diminishing as he does so, just as the metal screeches and bursts open.
Kai scrambles up onto the table, a little disoriented from the change, and jumps for Lian's hands.
He crashes to the ground with a thump and lets out a sharp gasp as pain shoots up his back. His tailbone. Fuck. He tries to get to his feet but someone grabs him and hauls him upright, holding his hands behind his back.
"Get the fuck off me!" Kai snarls, trying to wrench himself out of the minion's hands but the grip's like iron. He hears footsteps approaching and struggles harder.
Moonstar enters the room.
Kai gasps involuntarily, struggling not to get to his knees and proclaim his loyalty to the supervillain. Only the nagging wolf voice in his mind holds him back. Moonstar's powers of charisma and persuasion are legendary when he chooses to use them, and Kai suspects they're the only reason Gemma agreed to let him come on this mission.
"Interesting," Moonstar purrs, approaching Kai and tilting his chin up. "You're not immune. I always thought shifters were immune."
That's when Kai realises that he's standing completely still. He jerks his chin back, headbutting the minion, who lets out a yell. Moonstar's charisma switches off abruptly and Kai thinks he might finally have a chance of escape when Moonstar's hand flashes, the glint of light the only sign of the blade that was there and gone in an instant.
And the blood.
Kai watches as a line of blood wells up from a slash on his arm, bright red and glistening.
Oh.
Fuck.
The room darkens and sways and far too soon he's out cold.
_
When Kai wakes, he's freezing. And it's dark. Not dark like a darkened room, dark as in there's fabric covering his face. He hears rustling, and he tries to move his hands or push himself up off his knees but he can't.
"Ah, the hero awakes." Kai's hood is ripped off and he blinks into the bright light, seeing Moonstar smiling down at him. He realises he's stripped down to his underwear, his hands and lower legs chained to the floor, and he tries to transform into a wolf but as soon as his vision starts to change, a jolt of electricity rocks him back with a cry. Moonstar tsks.
"Trying to avoid my hospitality already? That isn't very polite. And here I was, thinking you heroes had manners."
Kai swallows, feeling leather and plastic around his throat and flinching as– god. That's where the shock came from, wasn't it?
"Fuck you."
"Now, now. I'm trying to tell you something important, this isn't just a friendly chat. You see, that collar of yours is a shock collar, as you may have noticed, and the shock just now? That was the lowest setting. If you try to transform again, I'll set it high enough to kill you. Understood?"
Kai glares at him. Fuck him if he thinks he's getting an answer. But he continues staring, finger inching ever closer to a remote, and eventually Kai spits out, "Yes."
"There. Was that so hard?" He clicks his fingers and two minions step forward, unlocking his limbs from the floor. "Now you know the consequences, we can talk like civilised people. Maybe you'll even answer my questions, though I don't hold out much hope. So, shall we begin? One wrong move and you get shocked. And I haven't given my minions any fun for ages."
One man grins, holding up a… oh, god, is that a hot poker? Kai attempts to brace himself. He's not telling these people anything.
"First question. Where does the Hero League keep their stolen information?"
"I don't know."
One of Moonstar's minions steps forward and presses the poker to Kai's side.
The heat burns, lighting Kai's back up in agony, and he lurches forward, falling to the ground, vision tunnelling. "I'm telling the truth! I don't know! Please, I don't… I don't!"
When he stops screaming and pleading, panting on the floor, Moonstar raises an eyebrow. "I find that hard to believe. So we'll try it again. Where does your organisation keep its stolen information?"
_
Kai's not sure how long it is before Moonstar gives up on getting information that Kai doesn't know out of him and hands him over to his minions to have fun with, but it only gets worse from there. They burn his back with hot pokers and electrocute him, sometimes both at once if they're feeling sadistic enough, and when he's not actively being tortured he's left on his knees with a hood blocking out all light, white noise blasting over the speakers at random. If he even twitches a finger, whoever's on duty will shock him. He hasn't slept, eaten or drank anything since he arrived, and they've threatened him with worse.
It's worst of all when Moonstar comes to watch, taunting him. He can't block it out. He tries to hold out hope that his teammates are coming for him, but with every session that passes it's harder. They've probably abandoned him, it's not like he's very useful. He got himself captured.
On some occasions, the occasions that Kai hates most of all because they make him so disoriented and vulnerable, Moonstar directs his minions to cut Kai, forcing him to faint over and over again, until he can barely think.
And he can't do anything to stop it. They're already getting exactly what they want.
_
Kai wakes for the fiftieth time that session, or so it feels like, his head heavy and his body hurting. Everything hurts these days.
He lifts his head determinedly and glares at Moonstar.
The supervillain only chuckles, a smirk on his face. "It's like putting a budgie to sleep, only much more amusing." He sighs and stands, brushing himself off. "As fun as this is, though, I have something to organise. After all, if you won't give me anything, I'll have to find someone who will. Put him back to sleep in his corner when you're done."
_
The next day, two of Moonstar's minions pull Kai roughly to his feet, chaining his hands high above his head, forcing him to balance on his toes. Then they remove the hood and force a ball gag into his mouth, buckling it overly tight behind his head. He breathes through his nose, trying not to gag.
The minions stand back as the door swings open and Moonstar saunters in. He smiles upon seeing Kai.
"Oh yes, you'll do nicely. Just the perfect combination of injured and trapped. Got to send a photo to your team, after all. They should know about your… predicament."
Kai can't speak but he twists his hand carefully in his cuffs, sticking one finger up. It gets him a punch to the face, but he doesn't really care. Inside he's panicking. He doesn't want his friends to see him like this.
"That wasn't very nice, now, was it?" says Moonstar mildly, pulling out a phone and holding it up. "Smile for the camera now."
Kai glares at the supervillain and hears a camera shutter. Moonstar types something on his phone.
"I wonder how your friends will react to that. What do you think?"
"I think," Kai pants, "that you can go fuck yourself."
Moonstar sighs deeply and Kai's nerves light up. When he comes back to himself, dangling from the restraints, he hears a jaunty ringtone.
"Oh. Excuse me." Moonstar walks out of the room, his men following behind, and when the door slams shut Kai realises he doesn't know how long he's going to be left like this.
Well. That's okay. He can cope. He can.
In. Out. In. Out. He breathes shakily and tries to concentrate on putting his feet back under himself.
He's not sure how long it is before Moonstar returns, undoing the gag. It feels like a long time but it might not be.
"Hello again. How are you feeling?"
"Fuck you."
Moonstar tsks. "Manners, manners. Dear me, what is the world coming to? But that's not why I'm here."
"Why are you here?"
"I just spoke to your pathetic excuse for a team. They're not coming for you. Told me so themselves. You're not useful enough to bother with rescuing."
No. No, that can't be true. They wouldn't leave him here. Would they?
Moonstar roars with laughter, making Kai realise he spoke aloud. "Oh, this is just too good. You're so hopelessly gullible. Of course they're coming. You heroes, you always come. Negotiations are in a few days." Oh. Kai's face heats up with embarrassment and anger. "Now. Obviously you're going to be at the talks, to remind your people what they stand to lose. So the only question remaining is whether you'll behave or if I need to restrain you."
"I won't behave," Kai spits out, "I'm not going to obey you in front of everyone. Fuck you." He won't let his team see him obeying Moonstar.
The supervillain grins. "That's just the answer I was hoping for."
_
Kai shivers as he waits in the centre of the warehouse. The leather and metal restraints holding him in a kneeling position rub against his bare skin, knees pressed to the cold cement. He can barely feel them anymore. His jaw aches from the ball gag and his back's agony from where Moonstar's steel-toed boots press lightly into the burns there. He swallows against the thick band of leather, feeling the prongs dig in as a subtle warning. If he doesn't stay perfectly still, Moonstar won't hesitate to punish him in front of his team.
He never wants them to see him like that.
Moonstar had him restrained like this first thing, claiming that it would 'prepare him for the long meeting'. Kai's sure it's just to make him look worse for his team though.
Not that that's really necessary. After days of torture, he must look like shit anyway.
Kai's not afraid to admit that he's absolutely terrified. What if his team doesn't want him back? What if they decide he's not worth rescuing, not worth the price? He's not really and he knows it. No-one else on the team would've been captured so easily.
What if his team decides to abandon him here?
He takes as deep a breath as he can. They're– they're coming to negotiate, right? So they can't be planning on abandoning him.
But they still could.
Moonstar drags his legs off Kai's back, scraping the injuries as he does so, and Kai sees his boots appear in front of him before Moonstar yanks his head up by the hair. Kai's eyes water as he glares up at the supervillain. Moonstar only smiles.
"Ah, I see you're doing well. No point in pretending to be defiant, you know, I can see the terror in your eyes. The tears you're trying so hard to hide. Don't worry. If your team doesn't buy you, I'm sure we can find some… other use for you."
There's a crackle of static from Moonstar's communicator.
"The heroes are here, boss."
Moonstar drops Kai and takes a seat back in his plush leather chair, feet landing hard on Kai's back. "Well, what are you waiting for? Send them in."
Kai breathes through his nose, trying to calm himself. It's okay. He can do this.
His team walks in the door, escorted by two minions. They're unrestrained, but Kai isn't fooled. They can't attack with him here.
Unless that's their plan. Use this meeting as a trap to destroy Moonstar.
Gemma would never order the use of deadly force, but the Hero League higher-ups might.
Maybe they're going to destroy Moonstar and Kai with him. Because Kai isn't important to them, not really. He's not as useful as the others.
Gemma's eyes latch onto Kai and she takes a step forward, halting when Lian places a hand on her arm.
"Good choice, Solar Flare. See that collar around Wolfman's neck? I've been using it to control him, but if you make a single move to attack me I'll crank the voltage right up and let it run until your friend's dead. Are we clear?"
"Perfectly," grinds out Gemma. Lian and Morfydd both nod, Lian avoiding looking at Kai.
"Now, before we start, are you sure you want to negotiate? I'm quite happy to keep Wolfman here. He'd make for a nice little pet hero." Moonstar ruffles Kai's hair, and he trembles, fighting back a flinch.
"You bastard!" yells Morfydd, tears in their eyes, and Kai blinks. Morfydd very rarely yells, it hurts their ultra-sensitive hearing, even with their ear defenders. "Cer i grafu ti coc oen!"
"Now now. Don't get like that. You don't want Wolfman to get hurt."
"What the hell do you want, Moonstar?" asks Gemma angrily. "What do you want in exchange for Wolfman back?"
Moonstar smirks. "Well, that's the question isn't it. Or rather, what are you willing to give me for him?"
Kai lowers his eyes. Look properly pathetic for me, Wolfman, and I might sell you back for a reasonable price. He has to look truly pathetic if he wants a chance at going home, even if it eats at his pride to do so.
It's not a hard look to achieve. He looks at Gemma, stripping away the layer of pretence that's his only protection. She looks terrified for him, although she's hiding it well, and her hand twitches. "Name your price first."
"The drive you stole from me last week, for starters. And shall we say… £100,000? Nice round figure."
"£80,000," retorts Gemma.
"£100,000 or I keep your little hero as a pet."
"Fine. Deal. Now give us Wolfman."
"My drive and money first."
Morfydd digs into their pocket and throws the small hard drive at Moonstar's head. He plucks it out of the air before it reaches him.
"Now, now. No need for violence. And the money?"
"Silverclaw needs to transfer it across. Give her a few minutes and your details."
Gemma tosses a burner phone across the floor and Kai stares. Aisling? Their medic? She's involved in this too?
"And… done. Message sent. Ooh, got a thumbs up. That's all you need this phone for, right?" And without waiting for an answer he crushes it under his boot.
"Can we have Wolfman back now? We've met your demands."
"I suppose you have. Shame, I was looking forward to keeping him. Solar Flare, middle of the room, no further."
Gemma limps forward to the midpoint between her and Moonstar, rocking back and forth on her heels, clenching her fists compulsively, staring at Kai as if she can will him closer.
Moonstar wrenches Kai's head up by the hair and murmurs in his ear, "Crawl over to your leader. Go on, show her how pathetic you really are." As he unlocks Kai's restraints from the floor he lets the shock collar remote peek out of his pocket, and Kai swallows.
He starts to crawl across the rough, cold floor, scraping his knees as he goes. There's cries of indignation but he keeps his head down, not wanting to see their faces, not wanting them to see his humiliated tears.
He doesn't notice how far he's gotten until Gemma's hands are on him, scooping him up. She's so warm, it feels like he hasn't been warm in forever.
"I've got you, Kai. I've got you. Once the money's finished transferring we'll get you out of here. Stay with me, yeah? You'll be out of here soon."
Kai lets out a muffled whine and presses against her, trying not to see anything else. She runs her hand through his hair.
Several minutes pass, he thinks, before Gemma speaks again, louder this time.
"You have it? Can we leave?"
"Sure. Go. I have what I want, after all. Take Kai Bergström with you."
Gemma stiffens against Kai momentarily and Kai looks up, seeing Moonstar's malevolent grin. He can't muster up much more fear. The four of them follow a minions outside to a League car. Morfydd and Lian climb in the front, and Gemma's starting to help Kai in the back when the man stops her.
"A parting gift from Moonstar." And he slashes across the back of Kai's hand.
Almost immediately, the world goes dark.
_
When Kai wakes he doesn't open his eyes immediately. He doesn't want the dream of being rescued to end. The gentle hands in his hair will disappear if he opens his eyes.
"–his identity?" asks a soft voice, tight with anger. Morfydd.
"We'll figure out how to deal with that once we're back at HQ. Lian, drive us around the back, and Morfydd, pass me that blanket. I don't want people seeing Kai like this."
Kai groans as they turn a corner, and the car quiets.
"Kai? You're awake? Can you open your eyes?"
He doesn't want to, but for Gemma he will, and he peels his eyes open.
Gemma's looking down at him holding a big pink blanket, eyes soft and tight with worry, and he's still in the car. Either the dream hasn't ended, he's having a dream within a dream, or…
He works his jaw. No gag. No shock collar either.
"Not a dream?" he rasps hopefully.
"No. No, not a dream. We can't get the rest of the restraints off in a moving car I'm afraid, you'll have to wait for medbay. How are you feeling?"
"Hurts."
"Okay. We're almost there. Let me wrap you in this blanket."
"Please," whispers Kai. Please, wrap him in something soft and warm, he needs that.
Gemma's as good as her word, wrapping him up snugly. The car pulls to a halt and he's lifted out, unable to see much over the end of the blanket. He closes his eyes, not caring much anymore.
"You made a Kai burrito," comments Lian.
"Yep. Come on."
The ride is bumpy, and Kai only opens his eyes when he's set down on something. The murmur of voices didn't register before but it should have, Aisling's right there above him along with a man he doesn't recognise. She says something he can't properly make out.
"Hmm?"
"Hey Kai. Good to see you again. This is Aaron, he/they, my newest trainee. Is it okay if he helps?"
Kai nods. This Aaron's a professional medic anyway, maybe it won't be too bad.
"Great. I'm going to take off the blanket now, and… oh, god. Aaron, pass me the scissors, I'm not taking the time to bother with the fastenings."
"How bad is he?" asks Lian impatiently.
"We won't know until we've examined him. Stay, talk to him. Keep his mind off things. Kai, do you have any broken bones?" Kai shakes his head. "Okay. Can you take off your underwear? I'll cover you with a blanket afterwards, and we'll get you clean clothes." Kai obeys and pulls the blanket up quickly, covering himself.
"I'm sorry," says Lian, looking him directly in the face for the first time today.
"F'r what?"
"Leaving you behind. I shouldn't have run when Moonstar caught you."
Kai sips at the cup of water Aaron's holding out for him. He has to fight not to gulp it down, the cool liquid heaven on his parched throat. "No. You should. I'm glad you're safe. That why you couldn't look at me?"
"No. I didn't look because I didn't think you'd want me to."
"Oh. Thanks."
Aisling's communicator beeps and she curses, looking down at it. "The higher-ups want to see us immediately. Morfydd, Lian and me."
"It has to be about the unauthorised negotiations," says Morfydd. "If they say we should've just left Kai there…"
"Nah, they'll want to know if Gemma coerced us, as team leader," argues Lian. "As if we can't make our own decisions."
"You know that's not what it's about," says Gemma mildly, as if she hasn't had shouting matches with their managers about autonomy more than anyone else here. "Go. I'll stay with Kai."
"Aaron, can you take over from me?"
"If you think I'm capable."
"Right. We'll be back as soon as we can, Kai."
Kai nods and watches them leave, feeling guilty. In addition to everything else, he's gotten them in trouble.
"Okay Kai, your front doesn't look too bad. Though, when was the last time you drank anything?"
"Aside from that cup of water… before Moonstar."
"Right. Since you're that dehydrated I'd like to put a drip in. Can you turn over so I can check your back first?" Kai does so, heaving a sigh as he takes his weight off the burns, and Gemma sucks in a breath. "Ouch. Let's clean your back and then I can heal some of it. You should take some painkillers."
Kai shakes his head, stomach turning. I could get the guards to give you something that'll make you scream properly. "I don't want any. They make me fuzzy, I'm already fuzzy, don't want to be more fuzzy."
"Easy. You don't have to have them, it's your choice, yeah? I'd advise them, but it's up to you."
"No, I– I can't."
"Okay. Take Gemma's hand and bite down on this. At least nothing looks infected."
Kai does as they say, gripping his mentor's hand tightly and biting down on the silicon… thing.
It hurts. Oh, god, it hurts as Aaron cleans his burns, his vision swims and he wants to be sick.
The waves of pain fade eventually to a dull ache, and his jaw is stiff around the silicon. He lets it go, just about.
"Are you okay?" asks Aaron. Kai nods. "Right. I'm going to heal as much as I can, although since you're so starved there won't be much energy to use, so most of your treatment will be done manually. That okay?" He nods again. Huh. Aaron has healing powers. Kai feels warm hands on his back. "Hold still."
A tingly feeling spreads across his injuries. It's not bad, exactly, just weird. He's never been healed before. It feels a bit like pins and needles. Hurts like it too, after a while.
Slowly that fades, though, and although the pain's still there it's not quite so bad anymore.
"That's it for the painful parts. Your burns don't need debriding now, that's good, I'll just bandage them and insert your IV. Later, when your body's settled from the healing, you can have some food. How's that sound?"
"Good. Thank you."
"Not a problem. I'm glad we got you back." He starts preparing an IV and there's silence for a few minutes.
"Where did you get the money?" Kai asks suddenly. £100,000… that's a lot. It certainly wasn't authorised from League funds.
"Your team's savings," replies Aaron. "I gave some too when they ran out."
Kai stares at his mentor for a moment, unable to comprehend it. "But… Gemma… you and Aisling were saving for your retirement. And you don't even know me, Aaron. I'm not worth all that."
"Neither of us are retiring yet. Besides, you are worth every penny and more, Kai. You're a valuable member of the team, but more importantly, you're our friend. You're family. My retirement is certainly not worth more than your life, don't ever think that."
Kai tries to swallow past the sudden lump in his throat, eyes filling with tears. "You– I–"
Gemma moves to sit on the edge of the bed, pulling Kai's head into her lap. She runs her hand through his hair, scratching his itching scalp.
And Kai can't hold it in anymore. He crumbles, sobbing into Gemma's lap. Loud, messy, gulping sobs that he can't quite stop.
"I was so scared," he says through tears, when he can speak, "so scared. I was terrified that you'd leave me there, that I wasn't worth rescuing. And Moonstar, he– he terrified me. He tortured me and he made me beg and I couldn't stop it. I didn't mean to, it just hurt so much. I'm sorry I got captured. I'm a– a rubbish hero."
"Hey," scolds Gemma, gently but firmly, "you're not rubbish. Heroes aren't infallible. Most of us have been captured at least once. And I'm sorry for making you think you weren't worth everything to us. The only reason we didn't come for you sooner was because my leg had to heal first, but I never should've made you think you'd been abandoned."
"It's not your fault," Kai sniffles. "I've felt like that my whole life, I know it's irrational. I've never been abandoned."
"I'm your mentor. Maybe your fear wasn't caused by me, but I should've reassured you. I should've known how scared you were and helped you. I'm sorry."
"It's not like I told you anything."
Gemma raises an eyebrow. "Just like you didn't tell me you still pass out at the sight of your own blood? You told me the exact opposite, actually."
Kai, who'd just been starting to feel a little better, wilts, hiding from Gemma's stern look. "I just– I wanted to go on an actual mission," he mumbles. "and I know you only took me because I'm not really affected by Moonstar's powers but you'd have left me behind if you thought I'd be so use– detrimental."
"No, Kai. I'd have made sure you had one of the new cut-proof full-body suits. And I still am going to get you one made. They'll ground us at least for the unauthorised ransom negotiations, we have plenty of time."
"Thank you."
"And we didn't just bring you for your powers. I wish you'd think better of yourself. You're brave, clever, resourceful. Besides, everyone has to have their first mission at some point." Kai snuggles up against Gemma. "Hey, are you okay? Well, you're not, obviously, but you're not usually this physically affectionate."
"I'm still scared," whispers Kai. He doesn't want to admit it but they agreed a long time ago that they'd only tell the truth in the medbay. "I keep thinking I'm still captured. If I close my eyes and I'm not touching anyone, it's like I'm still there. I mean, I know I'm not, but I'm still so cold and my body can't believe it. How do I do it?"
"You wait. Get some sleep, so you can think properly. Don't be too hard on yourself, you were tortured for a week, it's bound to stick for a while. And I'll stay. Prove to you that I'd never abandon you. I really am very sorry I ever let you think we would."
"It won't help to drown yourself in regret," murmurs Kai, finding Gemma's warm, calloused hand. He only spent a week there? She squeezes his hand tightly.
"Stealing my own words now, huh? Go on, go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake."
"I can't. I've seen you have nightmares, I don't want to remember what happened. I never wanted you to see me like that and I– what if I experience it again?"
"Then I'll wake you. You need rest. You could let Aaron give you a sedative?"
Kai shakes his head. "I won't be able to wake myself then." And he really doesn't want anything injected into him. It's like putting a budgie to sleep, only much more amusing. A needle might draw blood, and that would only make him weaker.
"Okay. Okay. Stay awake as long as you need to. Whoever comes over here next can fetch you some extra blankets, and let me give you a hug in the meantime?"
Kai nods and lets himself fall into Gemma's arms. She's warm, so warm compared to him, and he knows he'll fall asleep eventually but he really doesn't want to.
At least he's home, though. That's the important thing. He's home. He just needs to remember that and he'll– he'll be okay.
After a lot of thought and a misunderstanding, Phoenix stops camouflaging their scars.
1.5k
CWs: past abuse, self-esteem issues, Phoenix's fucky headspace
Phoenix swallows nervously. They need to do this at some point. They've decided to, so they should just do it. It's not a big deal. Other people show them, they're the only one who's too much of a coward to do so.
"Are you done staring?"
Phoenix blinks and looks up at Morfydd. Theit voice is quiet but firm, their eyes blazing. And Phoenix– their eyes were fixed on them.
"I didn't– I mean, it wasn't deliberate, I didn't mean to stare, I zoned out, I– I'm sorry."
And they bolt. Right to their bedroom, locking the door behind them. There's no excuse that would make it alright, now that Morfydd's angry, and although they've never hurt them before that doesn't mean they won't, does it, not now they're angry. And they have every right to be, too.
Phoenix pulls the blanket over their head, scooting right back so they're under the window. They didn't mean to stare at Morfydd's scars, but they still did, and people staring is horrible.
They need to apologise properly, they know that. But they're not sure how to begin. Does Morfydd think they're disgusted? Because they're not, not in the slightest.
That settles their decision. Sometime soon, they're going to start keeping their scars visible. Morfydd does, when they're comfortable, and Kai does too. So they can. Their heart beats faster at the decision, panic reaching them because people don't like it, it hasn't gone well in the past, but Kai doesn't mind their scars, and the rest of the team are clearly okay with Morfydd and his. Maybe they'll be okay with theirs too. So they're going to show them.
Sometime soon.
When they're ready to leave their blanket pile.
_
Kai sees Phoenix run into their room and frowns, tracing their route back to the kitchen. Morfydd looks upset, chewing their lip, and Lian's talking to them in a low voice. What's going on?
"What's wrong?"
"Phoenix. I... I upset them. I didn't mean to, but I thought they were staring and they probably think I want to hurt them now."
Kai sits down opposite, leaving his hand in the middle of the table in case they need it. "Tell me what happened from the beginning."
"We were putting the shopping away, and their eyes were sort of fixed on my collarbone, on the scar there, and I thought they were staring, and I snapped. But they zoned out, they weren't staring, and they fled and now... now they think I'm angry with them."
Kai shakes his head. "They wouldn't have bolted like that if they weren't already jittery."
"That just makes me feel worse! I don't want to hurt them!"
"They know that, when they think about it. They're making a decision on something, don't blame yourself."
"Are they going to show us their scars?" wonders Lian, and Kai blinks.
"How do you know about them?"
Lian shrugs. "Anyone who's as cautious and flinchy as they are has scars, whether inside or out. I think they just happen to have some on the outside."
Morfydd nods in agreement. "And with their camouflage abilities it must be tempting to hide them. I talked to Gemma about getting someone to hide mine once. I'm glad I didn't but... I can see why they would."
Kai sighs. His teammates are annoyingly perceptive, for obvious reasons. "You're right. Yesterday, Phoenix asked me how you all felt about seeing my scar all the time. And then what happened with you, Morfydd... I think they want to stop hiding them."
"So they're getting more comfortable around us?" asks Morfydd hopefully.
"Yep. They're not scared of you, Morfydd, they're just... not used to angry people not hurting them, I guess. Their reaction wasn't your fault."
"Oh. What should I do, then? Can I apologise?"
"If you like. But wait until they come out. If they're building themself up we don't want to interrupt."
Morfydd nods, leaning back against Lian. Kai gets to his feet and flicks the kettle on.
And then they wait.
_
Phoenix takes a breath, and then another, wrapping their blanket tightly around themself as they watch the sunset.
They can do this. It's simple. Just... drop the camouflage and walk out. Easy. If people don't like it it doesn't have to stay.
They'll always know though, won't they? That people think their scars are disgusting, too much to look at. Whereas if they don't show them, they can pretend that people still like what they look like.
But Kai's never minded. Or Aaron. So who's to say what their new team's reactions will be?
Phoenix wants to bang their head against the wall. They've been going round in circles for hours. Every time they think they've made a decision, they second-guess themself.
There's a knock on the door.
"Hey, Phoenix," says Kai, voice muffled by the wood, "we've ordered pizza, you can join us when you're ready. If not I can leave some here for you."
Phoenix pulls themself up straight and wipes away a frustrated tear. "No, I'm, I'm coming. Just, um, give me a bit."
"Okay. We'll be in the living room. Don't rush yourself."
Phoenix nods, even though Kai can't see them, and listens to his footsteps fade. Only then do they stand, heading for the sink in the corner that Gemma helped them install. They brace their hands on the white ceramic and slowly, very slowly, breath trembling, let their camouflage go.
Their eyes are red and puffy from frustrated tears and they bend over, washing their face until it's as good as it's going to get. There's no injuries, that's good, but then they know that, the worst they have is a bruise from bashing into the table leg earlier.
They swallow. They look... better, here. Less thin. Less bruised. A thought about their previous team niggles at them but they brush it away. Now's not the time, they can't deal with something like that now. It's wrong anyway. It has to be wrong.
They head for the door, trembling slightly as they turn the handle, heart pounding in time with their footsteps. It's okay, it's okay, Kai's here if anything goes wrong. They stop just before reaching the living room, hearing the TV and the sound of quiet laughter.
It reminds them uncomfortably of the first time they tried to let their scars show, with Abbie. It was only one scar then.
They shake their head to banish the memory. It'll be okay. They're wearing a hoodie with the sleeves rolled up, all anyone can see are their forearms, that's easy enough to hide again. And Kai, at least, won't react like that. They know him.
They swallow, mouth dry, and slip into the room.
Santhiya isn't back from her parents yet, and for a moment Phoenix feels guilty, wishes they'd waited until she's here too. There's some film on, something cheerful, they're not sure what, the name's on the tip of their tongue but their anxiety's chased it away. Some cheesy romance probably, given both Kai and Morfydd's presence. Kai, Lian and Morfydd are sprawled on the floor with the pizza boxes, Morfydd flopped on top of Lian.
"It's comfortable here!" protests Morfydd softly in response to something Phoenix has missed.
"Yeah, but I can't eat my pizza."
Morfydd giggles and moves very slightly. "Better?"
"You're still flattening me." Lian catches sight of Phoenix, eyes flickering down to their forearms before he looks back up. "Hey, Phoenix. Tell Morfydd to stop squashing me."
"I–"
Morfydd rolls off Lian and stands, pulling Phoenix into a careful hug, broadcasting their every move. It's something they always do and Phoenix is grateful for it.
"Sorry about earlier," Morfydd whispers.
"No, I'm sorry. It was my fault."
"No it wasn't. You did nothing wrong."
"How about," breathes Phoenix tentatively, "we agree that we're both sorry and it was neither of our faults?" Not that they really believe that, but it certainly wasn't Morfydd's.
Morfydd nods. "I'll tell you about one of my scars if you tell me about one of yours. Later, though. Once Santhiya's home."
"Deal."
Morfydd pulls away and drapes themself back over Lian, who groans dramatically. Phoenix thinks he probably doesn't mind all that much though or he'd have moved when he had the chance.
Phoenix picks up a couple of pieces of spicy vegetable pizza and looks for somewhere to sit. Kai jerks his head with a warm smile, and Phoenix slides under his outstretched arm, tucking into his side.
"I'm very proud of you," murmurs Kai.
"Really?" Their voice is small and muffled, a lump in their throat. They're not sure they deserve Kai's praise.
"Really." He squeezes them briefly. "Now eat your pizza before it goes cold."
Phoenix finally transfers. But things aren't as simple as just walking out of there...
5.2k
CWs: immortal whumpee, abuse, beating, mentions of being (possibly unintentionally) denied food, broken bones, concussion, plushie whump, belongings whump (for want of a better term), choking
Phoenix packs the tube of capsaicin cream and the box of scrawled reminders into the bottom of their rucksack carefully, then pauses.
They’re transferring to Kai’s team tomorrow, so they need to pack. And they should pack some of the food from the large box under their bed. It’s unlikely they’ll need it, Kai never lets them miss meals if he can help it, but if something happens... if his team does something and he’s not there and doesn’t know... if it gets too much to leave their room... just in case, they should have something.
They rummage around in the bottom of their wardrobe until they find a fairly small plastic box and set about filling it with cereal bars and packets of crisps, a small bottle of ginger beer stuffed down the side. There. That should do until they have more space.
At least, if Kai or Aaron find it, they won’t get angry. But they pack it at the bottom of their rucksack anyway.
Then they stand up, glancing at the door nervously. They really need the toilet now, they’ve been in here for as long as they can, hoping, praying, that they could hold on, that they wouldn’t have to see their teammates before they leave in the morning, but they can’t wait any longer. Maybe they won’t bump into anyone.
It’s not like Abbie can’t come in here whenever she chooses, anyway. If she wants to punish them before they leave, she can. And besides, she wouldn’t want to do anything to them that Kai’s team would see.
Right?
Right.
They’ll be fine. It’s less than 24 hours before they leave, anything Abbie can do to them now Kai would see, and people who don’t already know would see how they’re trained. And Abbie, for some reason, doesn’t like that.
They head to the nearest toilet as fast as they can without running. Okay. Okay. Now to finish, and make it back.
That turns out be more of a problem.
They’re halfway back down the corridor, nearly there, nearly there, when they fall, barely catching themself before they fall on their face.
They try to rise, but they can’t, feeling a boot pressing into the small of their back. It’s a large, solid, leather boot, heavy too.
“Indigo?” they croak as soon as they get their breath back, then add hurriedly, “sir?”
“Yes. It’s me. And Segun.” Phoenix shivers at the malice in her voice. “I want you to listen to me very carefully. You’re not going to tell anyone how you were trained. That’s our secret, and ours alone. And if anyone finds out in some way that’s not through you, you’re not to act all pitiful about it. Because you deserved it, you understand? That was the best way to train you, and it worked.” She presses her boot further into their back. “Do you understand?”
“Yes– yes, sir,” chokes out Phoenix. They know it was for their own good, why are they being beaten up over it?
Segun scoffs. “You’re pathetic. I don’t understand why the agency even took on someone so feeble and worthless in the first place. I think we need to make the lesson stick.”
There’s a sound of agreement and Phoenix is kicked over onto their back. They try to curl up but Segun presses the tip of his trainer under their chin, forcing it back up.
“No. Don’t. Don’t do that, how are we supposed to give you a lesson if you’re hiding?”
“Sorry, sir.”
“Hmm.”
There’s time for Phoenix to take a breath and then it starts. Phoenix can feel kicks, and fists maybe too they’re not sure, hitting their chest and arms and legs. They bite their lip and close their eyes against the pained whimpers threatening to emerge. It hurts so much and they don’t even understand what they’ve done wrong this time. There are other ways to remind them not to tell.
The kicks stop for a moment, enough for them to take in a painful, shallow breath, and then a boot comes down hard on their face. They feel a sharp agony in their nose and something warm and wet trickles down their face. Their eyes water, and they can’t stop a pitiful cry of pain, especially when the foot comes down again, on their forehead this time, hard enough to smash their head into the thin carpet. They see stars, eyes streaming now.
There’s laughter and possibly a burst of light (although that could just be their head) and then finally, finally, the footsteps fade away. After a while they’re left with only the pounding in their ears, and the aches and agony everywhere.
As soon as the throbbing in their head’s died down slightly they force themself to stand, holding the wall for balance. They scrub their eyes angrily to get rid of the tears and pull down their sleeves, brushing off the worst of the dirt carefully. Their camouflage will cover the bruises forming on their skin.
They touch the back of their head gingerly. It’s not bleeding. Good.
Kai’s not here but Aaron should be, in the medbay, and Phoenix pushes themself through the corridors, taking the long way round to avoid the possibility of bumping into Segun or Indigo again. Or Abbie, but they don’t think she’s around. They can’t stay in this flat any longer, they know that much. At least... not until they desperately need to pack. They can take a break at least.
When they reach the medbay they lean against the wall, ignoring the pain, looking around for Aaron. It’s not very busy in this section today, most of the nurses are standing around chatting or organising things. Must not be any missions coming back.
“Phoenix?” Phoenix jumps and looks round, wincing as their head pounds at the sudden movement. “I was going to ask if you’re just here for a social call but clearly not. Come and sit down.” They stumble over to the bed and Aaron draws the curtains. “Let me fetch you some painkillers. I’ll be right back.” He starts to walk away but Phoenix grabs their wrist weakly before they can stop themself.
“Don’t go... please.”
“You’re in pain. And don’t tell me that’s not a bootprint on your hoodie.”
“I know but... ’s only bruises... I just need someone. Please.” Their voice breaks on the last word and Aaron sits down, pulling them into a careful hug.
“Okay. Okay, Phoenix, I’m not going anywhere.”
Every sob, every shudder that racks Phoenix’s body hurts, but they can’t stop it. It’s only one more night, they thought they were safe for one night, but they weren’t and it’s too much. It’s not like they would ever tell anyone anyway.
Eventually they calm down enough to pull away, swiping at their eyes and hiccuping. “I– I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you. Were you busy?”
“Not at all. Just doing some organising while I’ve got the time. But you’re more important than that.” Their mouth twitches. “Want to show me what happened?”
Phoenix nods and pulls off their hoodie, and then their t-shirt too, because that’s where the worst bruises will be. That’s where it hurts the most, aside from their nose of course, they can still feel Indigo’s boot pressing into their back. Then they close their eyes against Aaron’s reaction and let their camouflage go in an icy rush.
“Oh, Phoenix.” There’s no pity in Aaron’s voice and they look up at a soft touch to their back. Their eyes are a mix of concerned and angry – not at them, though, they’ve learned that by now. “They’ve really done a number on you, huh?” Phoenix nods. “Right. Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re gonna stay here tonight. I’ll fetch you some painkillers and something to clean yourself up with, and then collect your stuff, so you don’t have to go back to your team’s quarters. That okay? You be alright for a few minutes on your own? You’re safe here.”
“If– if you’re going,” asks Phoenix tentatively, feeling like a small child and hating it, “will you call Kai? Please? I don’t– I don’t want to be alone for long.”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” He squeezes their hand. “I’ll do all that now and be back as soon as I can.” Phoenix nods and Aaron leaves.
Leaves them alone.
They grasp the metal bars of the headboard tightly, taking deep breaths, jumping at every sound. It’s fine, it’s fine, Indigo and Segun can’t get to them here, the staff won’t let them near, it’s fine.
They can’t stop imagining it though. The nurses won’t notice and Indigo and Segun will get them and hurt them again and–
Phoenix yelps as footsteps approach and the curtains open, ducking and bringing their hands up to shield their head.
“Hey, hey, easy. It’s just me. I brought your painkillers.” Phoenix peers up to see Kai, who takes one look at their tear-stained, bloody face and bruised body and pulls them into a careful hug.
“What the hell did those bastards do to you this time?”
_
Aaron’s fuming as he makes his way up to Phoenix’s team’s quarters.
They jumped them. They fucking jumped them. Phoenix hasn’t said as much, but between the jumpiness and not wanting to be left alone and the goddamn bootprint-shaped bruise on the small of their back it’s obvious.
All those bruises, all over Phoenix’s body. Aaron doesn’t understand why they’d do it, not the day before Phoenix is due to leave. One last bit of fun?
Shaking his head, they push open the door to Phoenix’s room. It’s a mess. And not a Phoenix-mess, he’d recognise that anywhere after the amount they’ve made at his place, this is someone else’s. They pick their way carefully through the scattered belongings, some of them dirty and torn, until they reach the wardrobe and pulls out a partially-packed black camping rucksack. At least that’s not damaged. The photo album of Phoenix and their sister is thankfully perfectly safe as well, and Aaron tucks it securely into the bottom of the rucksack, above whatever’s already there. They pull out all the clothes remaining in the wardrobe and stuff them into the bag, then turn to survey the rest of the room.
There’s no point trying to save the fairy lights, which have been ripped down and crushed. He picks up the books he thinks he can save, most of which have missing pages or covers, but some are torn completely. There’s no saving them.
Then they change their mind and pack those in anyway. Maybe Phoenix can fix them. Or they might want them anyway, even if they can’t.
He strips the bed and covers, piling the colourful bedspread that was a gift from Kai into the bag as well as the massive weighted blanket. The polaroids of the three of them they slip into a secure pocket.
Then they turn to the last remaining item, arm and foot torn off, eye missing, stuffing pooling onto the mattress underneath. Mr Frosty.
The only thing Phoenix has from when they were little, already repaired several times in his long life.
It’s Aaron’s turn to repair him this time.
He picks up the large plushie snowman and packs him away carefully, then gathers as much stuffing and loose plushie fabric as he can find, tucking it into another pocket.
That’s everything then. There’s a few pieces of clothing that would be impossible to repair, and the fairy lights of course, but other than that... Phoenix’s life, packed into one not-quite-full rucksack. He shoulders it and turns to leave.
Abbie’s standing in the doorway, arms folded, a smirk on her face.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“Such a temper, and I haven’t even done anything.”
“You and your team jumped Phoenix and trashed their room. That’s not nothing.”
She shrugs. “I meant to you. As for that bitch, they shouldn’t have betrayed us.”
“Betrayed you? Betrayed you? You abused them for over five years. Don’t blame them for taking the first exit they could find.”
“That was training. Not abuse. We’re the best performing team in the League, thanks to that. In fact, I’m surprised management let you take our best asset.”
Aaron narrows his eyes, clenches his fists. “Phoenix isn’t an asset, they’re a goddamned person. And you’re very full of yourself. The only reason you lot have the best performance is because on every single mission you send Phoenix to die so the rest of you barely get hurt. You take on far more missions than anyone else because you don’t give Phoenix any recovery time. The three of you are complete and utter bastards. Now get the hell out of my way and let me go back to my friend.”
“Didn’t know they were capable of making any. But then I suppose they’re probably a sucker for anyone who looks at them twice. Pathetic.”
Aaron feels a surge of anger and lashes out, slamming Abbie into the wall. “I said get out of my way.”
“I could report that, you know,” rasps Abbie, massaging her throat. Aaron shrugs.
“You could. But then I’d tell them to look at the last five years of security footage. Phoenix was sixteen when they started here. Only sixteen. So I’d back off, and pray that they never report you. Unless you want child abuse charges brought against you. Understand?” Abbie nods once and they stride off, back towards the medical bay.
_
Kai holds Phoenix as tightly as he dares. He’s not sure what happened, but he can guess who did it. Aaron had had a face like thunder as he’d handed over the painkillers, and Phoenix’s natural skin colour is barely peeking out under the bruises and blood. They’re shaking in Kai’s arms, and not just from the tears soaking his t-shirt.
“You’re safe now, Phoenix. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.”
Eventually Phoenix pulls away slightly, wiping their eyes. Their voice is horribly stuffy. “I– I’m fine. Were you busy?”
“Nah. Just tidying up ready for you to arrive tomorrow, but the rest of the team can manage that without me.”
“Oh. You don’t have to clean up especially for me.”
“I know. But we want to.” He hands Phoenix some paracetamol and a glass of water. “Here. Want me to clean you up a bit?” They nod, wincing, and he picks up a cloth, wiping their face gently. “I think your nose is broken.”
“Guessed that,” says Phoenix thickly. “Hurts.”
“I know, I’m sorry. So sorry.” He brushes their fringe out of the way to wipe their forehead. “How are your fringe and forehead so dirty?”
“Indigo’s boots are dirty.”
Kai feels a surge of fury, hand tightening on the cloth. “She kicked you in the head?”
Phoenix flinches. “Stamped on it.”
“Do you have concussion? Is anything broken?”
“Yeah, but it won’t last long. And I think my rib’s cracked, but you can’t bind that anyway, so.”
“I’ll just have to be gentle with you then.”
“You already are.” And Phoenix’s eyes say plainly that they still don’t understand why. It breaks Kai’s heart to see.
“Course I am.” He runs the cloth through their fringe, wiping a few strands at a time. “What happened?”
“I was in the corridor and they, um, they jumped me. Segun and Indigo. I don’t know where Abbie was. They said they were giving me a reminder not to tell anyone else.” They frown. “Which means you’re not just weirdly nice. It must be wrong, if everyone would disagree with it.”
“Starting to get it now?” asks Kai gently. He doesn’t have high hopes though. They bounce between their treatment being wrong and Kai and Aaron being weird every few days. He thinks he’ll know when they finally realise for good.
“Mmm.”
The curtain rustles and Phoenix jumps, raising an arm to shield their head.
“Easy, Phoenix,” soothes Kai, running a hand down their other arm, “it’s just Aaron.”
“Oh.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I’ve brought your things. Or what I could salvage, at least.”
“What you could salvage? What happened?”
“Why do you have a needle and thread? Phoenix doesn’t need stitches.”
“It’s not for them, it’s for Mr Frosty.” He sits down on a chair and sets the large rucksack at his feet. “And as for what happened... Phoenix, someone trashed your room. I managed to save most of it, but the fairy lights and a few of your clothes are beyond repair. And possibly some books, I brought them all anyway in case you can fix them but I don’t know.”
Aaron sighs. "He’s a bit torn up. I’ll fix him, don’t worry too much, but…” He pulls the biggest part of Mr Frosty out of Phoenix’s bag and hands it to them. They stifle a sob and clutch the plushie tightly.
“Mr Frosty…”
“I’ll fix him, it’s okay. Might be a bit messy but he’ll be whole again. Alright?”
Phoenix nods, wiping their eyes. “Can I– can I see the rest of my things?”
“Of course. Be careful though, some of it’s pretty fragile now.” Before Aaron can lift the rucksack onto the bed Phoenix hands them Mr Frosty and slides down onto the floor with a wince, undoing the straps stiffly. They peer inside.
“Oh.” Phoenix pulls out half of a dirt-spotted book. “Are they all like this?”
“No. No, some are intact. Some are worse though. I picked up as many pages as I could find, I’m not sure if you’ll be able to fix them?”
“There’s got to be tutorials online somewhere,” murmurs Phoenix, “I can try. Thank you.”
Aaron smiles weakly. “It wasn’t a problem. Really. If it helps, your photo album hasn’t been touched. Nor have the polaroids of the three of us. Here.” He kneels down beside Phoenix and takes the photos out of their pocket, handing them over. Phoenix looks through them, smiling through their tears.
“They really didn’t touch them.”
“No. And most of your clothes need a wash but they’ll be fine as well. Your suit’s clean. It’ll be okay, Phoenix.”
Phoenix nods. “I– I know. I know.” But their eyes say that they really don’t, not right now.
“I can get these in the wash now, if you like,” offers Kai, “that way they’ll be ready for you when you come to mine in the morning.”
Phoenix shakes their head. “I don’t want them to be somewhere I can’t see them. I mean– if it was just you, but it’s not just you, and I know they’re your team but I don’t know them, and it’s just– I can’t.”
“That’s okay, I don’t mind,” reassures Kai. “C’mere and have another hug.”
Phoenix packs away the photos carefully before scrambling stiffly onto the bed and into Kai’s arms, a small, soft weight in them.
“I’ll give you some privacy to finish washing up and fetch some clean clothes, alright?” asks Aaron. Phoenix nods, and Aaron strokes their hair once before leaving, pulling the blue curtain tightly closed again behind them. Phoenix melts at the touch.
“You really do like that, don’t you?” Kai murmurs. They nod into his damp t-shirt. “Want me to help you finish cleaning up?”
_
Not too long later, Phoenix is clean, dressed and asleep in an old hoodie and pyjama trousers of Aaron’s. The clothes dwarf them, and they look tiny, the blanket hanging partially off them because they can’t manage it all right now, holding onto Kai tightly as they snuffle. Aaron sits on the edge of the bed on their other side, concentrating mostly on the needle piercing Mr Frosty’s fur repeatedly, glancing at Phoenix worriedly every so often.
“I’m going to kill them,” says Kai, running a hand through Phoenix’s hair. “I’ll bloody well kill them.”
“No you won’t. Phoenix needs you.”
“Later, then. Once they’re safe.” He pauses as Phoenix snuggles closer. “How did we not realise they’d do something like this? It was their last chance, we should’ve known.”
Aaron shakes his head. “We always miss it. Every damn time, we miss it. But we won’t help them by drowning ourselves in regret.”
Kai quirks his mouth slightly. “Sounds familiar.”
“It should. You’re the one who told me it.”
“Mm.” It’s true. Kai was the one to say it first, months ago. It came from his mentor originally, although where she got it from he has no idea. “Didn’t expect you to remember it.”
“It’s memorable.” Aaron curses as the thread drops out of the needle and rethreads it carefully. “Did Phoenix tell you? I’m keeping their weekly check-ups for the foreseeable future.”
“They said. I’m glad, but I’m still not convinced you won’t burn out, taking on another team.”
“Your medic’s retiring, you need one. And it’s the only way I can keep Phoenix under my care without letting on that something’s wrong. I really need to keep an eye on them.”
“My team won’t–” he starts, indignant.
“I trust you, Kai. I trust your team. But I don’t trust Phoenix with themself.” Kai looks at them quizzically and they sigh. “Right now, they still believe that the pain their team put them through helped them learn ‘properly’. And if they believe they need to keep learning that way... well. I don’t want anything to happen.”
Kai swallows, fear rising. “You’re saying they might... hurt themself?”
“It’s a possibility. I want to keep an eye on them.”
“That’s a good idea. Don’t burn yourself out though.”
“Sophia won’t let me.”
“Good.”
Aaron squints at Mr Frosty as he sews on an eye, then he sets down the needle and holds the snowman out at arm’s length.
“Hmm. He’s a bit lopsided. Do you think Phoenix will mind?”
“Nah, they’ll just be pleased you fixed him.”
Aaron leans over and squishes Mr Frosty in between Phoenix and Kai, and Phoenix tightens their grip, pulling the snowman towards them as they sleep.
“At least tomorrow, they’ll be out of here.”
_
Phoenix wakes in the morning feeling stiff and surprisingly rested. They’re slightly boxed in by warmth and they open their eyes, confused.
Oh. That must be why they slept so well. They’re tucked into Kai’s side, Aaron lying on the other, an arm around their shoulders. Both their friends are asleep. And they’re lying on something. They sit up carefully, wriggling out of Kai’s hold, and pull whatever it is out from underneath them.
It’s Mr Frosty.
He has thick black lines of stitching down him and his eye is a little wonky, but he’s back in one piece and Phoenix hugs him tightly.
“Is he okay?” asks a groggy voice. Aaron’s woken up, and Phoenix beams at him.
“He’s perfect! Thank you.”
“You sure? He’s a bit wonky. And the stitching’s really prominent, but black’s the only colour we have.”
“He’s a frankensnowman,” murmurs Phoenix. “Thank you.”
From Phoenix’s other side, Kai yawns. “Oh. You’ve found Mr Frosty then?” They nod. “Good. Told you they’d be happy with him, Aaron.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Right. I’m going to head downstairs, make sure the team’s ready for your arrival, if that’s okay?”
Phoenix nods. It’s weird. They’ve never had anyone actually prepare for their arrival in a nice way before (at least, they hope it’s nice).
“Alright. Do you want me to come back and show you the way?”
“I– um, I think I’ll be okay. Thank you.” They need to make a good impression and turning up clinging to Kai like a lost child won’t do that.
“Noted. I’ll see you soon then.” He gives Phoenix a quick hug and then exits the medbay.
“You sure you know the way?” asks Aaron.
“I might need you to remind me.”
“Now or...”
“Before I leave would be best, I think.”
“Right. Will do. Can I give you a hug?”
Phoenix nods and Aaron wraps an arm around their shoulders. Their friend doesn’t hug much, but Phoenix loves it when they do.
The blue curtains open and Phoenix jumps, raising their arms instinctively.
“It’s just me,” says Sophia brightly, and they lower their arms, heart racing. Still not over yesterday then. “I heard you were awake. When was the last time you ate, you must be starving?”
“Dunno,” they murmur. Now she mentions it, they do feel hungry. They’ve been hungrier, though, so the ache doesn’t register much. “You don’t usually deliver food.”
“I’m off shift now. So, jam on toast and a couple of jaffa cakes.” She grins and waits for them to sit up properly before depositing the tray in their lap. “Enjoy. I think we have a pair of your trousers around here somewhere still, let me go find them.” She hurries off, and Phoenix nibbles on their toast.
Aaron pinches a jaffa cake and takes a bite.
“Hey!”
“Should’ve eaten it first if you didn’t want me to get it,” retorts Aaron teasingly.
“You’re eating it wrong! If you’re going to steal my food, at least eat it properly! You have to eat the chocolate first, and then the dry cake bit, and then the orange jam. Like this.” And they demonstrate. “See? You don’t just eat all the parts together!”
Aaron’s watching them with a fond smile.
“What?”
“There you are. I haven’t heard you ramble properly since the church.”
Phoenix frowns. “But– that was a month ago. Have I really not...”
They trail off as they realise why they haven’t been themself, even less than normal, and Aaron answers, “No. I can guess why, but I’m glad you’re back.”
“So’m I.”
“So, how are you feeling?”
“My nose hurts, and my ribs. But I’m mostly just stiff. I’ll be okay. The bones are definitely healing.”
“Your nose certainly is, I can hear that. Painkillers?”
“Please.”
Aaron hands over a couple of pills and Phoenix swallows them. “Thanks.”
“No problem. Want me to help you put your cream on your back?”
Phoenix nods. “It’s, um, in the bottom of my bag. I wasn’t going to bother this morning, I just wanted to get out of there, but if you’re going to help then–”
Aaron climbs off the bed and unpacks the rucksack carefully, pulling out a tube of cream before re-packing the rest. Phoenix flushes. He’ll have seen the box of food, they know it, and they’re not sure why they’re embarrassed but they are.
They turn away quickly to hide the redness and shrug off their hoodie and t-shirt.
“I won’t take long. Hold the blanket over your chest if you’re cold.”
Phoenix nods. They know that, but sometimes it’s good to be reminded.
It’s a good thing they have the blanket, too, because halfway through Aaron spreading the cold, soothing cream over the worst of the scars on their back and upper arms (they can do the rest relatively easily themself), Sophia appears with a pair of tracksuit bottoms. Phoenix squeaks and holds the blanket tight to themself as she pops in and out, carefully not looking at them.
It’s not long before they’re dressed and re-packed, Mr Frosty sitting carefully in the top of their rucksack. They swallow and with a thought, envelope themself in camouflage, covering up the still quite nasty-looking bruises.
It’s time to go.
When they push aside the curtains around the bed, rucksack over their shoulders and hoodie sleeves tugged down nervously over their hands, both Aaron and Sophia are waiting for them. Sophia gives them a box of homemade biscuits and pulls them into a quick hug.
“Housewarming present. Sort of. For you and your new team.”
“Thank you.”
“Except they’re not allowed to eat them if they’re mean to you,” adds Aaron, clasping them gently on the shoulder when Sophia lets go. “And I’m serious about that.”
“I won’t let them. I promise.”
“Good. Now. Go out of the medbay that way, straight to the end of the corridor, two floors down, and it’s the flat with the very glittery sign.” Phoenix looks at him quizzically. “The team did some babysitting once. There was glitter all over the tower for weeks.”
Phoenix can’t help a smile. Glitter gets everywhere. “Got it.”
“I’ll see you for your check-up on Friday then.”
And something heavy loosens inside Phoenix. Not everything’s going to change. If something happens with Kai’s team, Aaron will be here.
They didn’t even realise the weight was there until it was gone.
“Yep. I’ll see you soon.”
Phoenix grips the straps of their rucksack tightly as they head towards Kai’s flat. It’ll be okay. It’s Kai, it’ll be okay. They slow down subconsciously as they descend the last flight of stairs, heart pounding. Maybe… maybe it would’ve been a good idea to ask Kai to come back. Then they wouldn’t be able to dawdle.
They force themself to take the last few steps until they’re stood in front of the door (they think distantly that the cardboard door number really is glittery). Nearly there now. All they have to do is knock.
As it turns out, that’s harder than it should be, and they pace until someone walks past, looking at them curiously. They can’t wait any longer.
Phoenix knocks.
There’s a clamour of noise from inside and they wipe their sweaty palm on their trousers. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s going to be fine.
The door opens and Kai’s standing there. He pulls them into a hug immediately.
“Phoenix! You’re here!”
“You sound surprised,” murmurs Phoenix thickly. Kai doesn’t just sound surprised – he sounds delighted, and they can’t understand it.
“I thought you might take longer. Is that Aaron and Sophia’s baking?”
“Yep. And Aaron says your team aren’t allowed any if they’re mean.” They flush and Kai hugs them tighter.
“Well, of course not. Come and meet the rest of the team.”
Phoenix follows Kai down the hallway and into the living room, where the rest of the team are waiting, broad grins on their faces. Santhiya’s wearing a colourful striped party hat, and there’s a shiny banner hanging from the ceiling reading WELCOME PHOENIX.
“Well?” asks Lian impatiently. “Do you like it?”
“Where, um, did you find one saying Phoenix?” is all they can think of to say, stunned by the effort.
“Morfydd ordered it specially.”
Morfydd shrugs and says softly, with a lilting Welsh accent, “You’re new. You should have a banner. I hope it’s not too much.”
“I tried to make you a cake too,” adds Santhiya, almost bouncing with excitement, “although it didn’t go too well.”
Lian snorts. “Understatement of the year. You almost set the oven on fire, Santh. It took us a whole day to clear the smell and I’m sure the smoke’s still clinging to my clothes.”
“Hey! I tried, alright? It was a lemon cake, Kai said they liked lemon cakes. You do like them, right, Phoenix?” But Phoenix’s throat is too choked up to speak, and she frowns in concern. “Phoenix, are you okay?”
First of the prequels! I couldn't resist writing some of Lian and Morfydd's traumatic backstory.
Morfydd and Lian meet, and years later join the Hero League together.
3.5k
CWs: lab whump (implied/mentioned – nothing graphic), human experimentation (mentioned – again, nothing graphic) , minor whump, past minor whump, gunshots, parental death, manhandling
Lian's partway through his first lesson of the day when the classroom door opens. He looks up, curious. Maths is interesting but they don't often have people arrive late, since they all live at or near Razor's base, making this even more interesting.
A girl enters. She's in a wheelchair clutching a clear pencil case, several wires with monitors sticking out from the sleeves of her gown. Her head is shaved and lightly scarred, and her feet are bare, an ankle tag around one ankle, flashing away. The two burly guards escorting her help her into the only available seat in the room, next to Lian. Well– more force her, he thinks, judging by the fear in her eyes.
"Ah, Subject 27, you're here," says Mrs Lawson. "Catch up what you can from Lian, and I'll answer any questions, okay?"
Oh. She's one of the secret people that Lian's dad told him about. He's not allowed to talk about them but he has to be nice to them, because they're not as lucky as him.
She nods, and Lian pushes his exercise book across the table between them. "Hi. My name's Lian. What's yours?"
"I don't have one," she murmurs.
"Oh. Are you one of the secrets people? Dad says his boss keeps secret people and they're not treated very nice but I'm not allowed to talk about it. 'Cept I'm sure I can with you, because you are one."
"I– I think so," she replies hesitantly.
"How old are you?"
"Eleven."
"Wow. How come you're with people who're seven, then? I've never seen you anywhere."
"I haven't been to school before. Now the experiments are working they said I can go learn things if I'm good."
"Experiments?"
"They're giving me superpowers."
"Wow. Cool!"
The girl shakes her head. "It hurts my head. And other things, but really my head. And now everything's too loud and bright."
"Oh." He's not sure what to say to that.
She glances nervously towards the guards at the door. "So, what are we doing?"
_
They're firm friends after that.
It's three weeks later that the girl tells Lian her secret name (it's Morfydd, and he thinks it's very pretty).
Six months before he visits her in her room, and another six before he's allowed to do so regularly (his dad pulls some strings so it's possible, and he's very grateful. She doesn't have much to do in there).
A year after that, he brings her to he and his dad's quarters for a sleepover, because she's controlled enough to be allowed that now so long as it's within the base, and Lian's dad wants to meet his best friend. They spend a long time talking, the three of them, and then Lian introduces Morfydd to shadow puppets.
Later, he's able to bring her outside, provided they're accompanied by guards, and she revels at the feeling of grass between her toes. She enjoys the air, sunlight on her face for the first time in years.
It's several years later, when Lian's 13 and she's 17, that everything goes wrong (or right, if you were to ask them later – but either way, everything changes).
_
It's Morfydd's 17th birthday today. She knows it is because she has a calendar on her bedroom wall, and she knows the date of her birthday because her mum would celebrate it and sing her lullabies before... everything happened.
Also, she knows because Lian's gotten her a massive card.
Her head feels like it's about to split open today, every sight is too much, every little sound makes her flinch, even just Lian's dad rustling around as quietly as possible. She can smell the trifle, one of the few smells she likes in this place, with its neutral decor and neutral textures and neutral smells and tastes. Her food doesn't taste of much at all, there's no texture to it either – Lian's dad said it's to "preserve the integrity of the experiments" and he didn't sound entirely happy about it.
Morfydd's not sure what to think of him. He's better to her than most other people here, at least. But Lian himself says the room's boring, and she's inclined to agree.
Lian's behind her, his warm presence nearly touching her back, and she desperately wants his warm, comforting arms around her, but she knows that right now she'd explode at all the sensation and who knows where that'll get her? So she stays curled up on the hard mattress, thin blanket thrown across the room, her best friend at her back.
This wasn't what they had planned for her birthday. Well, she doesn't know what Lian had planned, but she's sure it wasn't this. She feels guilty but... he doesn't seem to mind.
"Hey," says Lian's dad softly, "whenever you're ready, there's a present for you. No pressure though, it'll keep."
Morfydd nods to show that she's heard, but she doesn't get up. She can't deal with it all right now.
She hears the electronic beep of a keycard against the lock and stiffens, preparing herself. The door opens.
"No, what are you doing?" shouts Lian, panicked and angry, the only warning Morfydd gets before she's lifted off the bed and deposited in her wheelchair, strapped in tightly. She tries to settle her racing heart. They're often doing this, it's okay, it's okay, she knows what happens next. She digs her nails into the arms of the wheelchair. She can deal with the mass of sensation. She can.
"You said she had the day off," says Lian's dad tightly.
"Boss' orders. Since her powers are flaring we're moving her next test forward a day."
Morfydd whimpers. The guard's voice is too loud, it's always too loud, and it's too bright and there's too much touching her and she wishes she could at least cover her ears but her hands can't move.
Nobody hears.
"But it's her birthday!"
"So?"
"It's her birthday!"
"Yeah, and? She's a test subject, it doesn't matter when her birthday is."
Morfydd's inclined to agree with the guard here, to be honest. Her birthday never meant anything in this place before Lian, and even now letting her have it free is more about keeping him and his dad happy. It's just another day.
She hates it when she agrees with the guards.
Lian steps in front of her. "You can't take her! It's her birthday, it's not fair!"
"It's okay," whispers Morfydd, desperate to take the shouting down a notch. She doesn't want to lose any privileges by being 'uncooperative', even if she's not the one arguing. "It's okay, it's okay."
"Stand aside, or you won't be allowed to visit her again."
"That's– that's–" Lian doesn't seem to know what to say, and Morfydd can hear the rattling of tiny stones behind her. She hunches her shoulders, unable to look away as her pebble collection goes flying past her head and hits something with multiple soft thuds.
"What the... security! I need an intake team in Subject 27's room! We've discovered a child with–"
Lian's dad aims his taser at the security guard and he falls to the ground. "Run, both of you! I'll hold them off!"
"No, dad!"
"I have to. You won't make it out of here otherwise. Run!"
Lian takes Morfydd's wheelchair and runs. She's never gone this fast before and in other circumstances she'd love it, but this isn't other circumstances. Lian's dad follows them at a slower pace, firing his taser in bursts.
There's the bang of a silenced gun and Morfydd ducks as the bullet whizzes over her head. The guards have live ammunition! She hasn't seen that since she was brought here.
But of course, they're coming for Lian.
They're almost at the outer door when there's a hiss behind her and Lian lets go, crying, "Dad!"
"Go," he says, pained, "take Morfydd and go. I love you."
Lian sobs and catches Morfydd's chair again, and they burst out through the heavy metal door. Outside. They're outside. This side of the compound's concrete, surrounded by a high chain-link fence. Lian runs determinedly for the hole in the fence.
As soon as the ankle with the tag on crosses the threshold, a jolt of white-hot pain shoots up her and she screams, vision whiting out. She's only felt this once before, during intake, and that wasn't this painful.
When she comes back to herself, panting, they're in the middle of the city. She stares. She only vaguely remembers being outside of the compound, and the buildings seem so much smaller at the same time as the city's massive. She can hear Lian's heavy breathing behind her.
"Lian?" she whispers, head thrumming, body aching from the shock.
"You're back. What happened?"
"Electronic tag. Forgot to tell you."
"'s okay. Nearly there."
"Where are we going?"
"Hero League HQ."
Lian jogs along, slower than earlier, and Morfydd can see a large concrete and glass building up ahead. It's so tall. Lian steers them around the back, over bumps and cracks, and presses a buzzer by a battered green metal door in the large building.
Is this HQ then?
"Hello?" says a crackly voice through the speaker. Morfydd shivers – voices through speakers are never good – and Lian squeezes her shoulder, next to her now.
"This is Bai Lian, son of Bai Yi, one of your undercover agents, requesting entrance and asylum for myself and my friend." He squeezes his eyes shut. "In– in the absence of my father you, um, you have, um... I– I can't remember the rest of the wording, please, please let us in!"
They wait a few minutes, and then the door opens with a buzz. Two people stand on the other side, and although they look friendly Morfydd quickly notes the concealed firearms. She's sure Lian does too, by the way he stiffens.
"Hi. I'm Sam, this is Jodie. You're Lian, right?" Lian nods, and Sam directs his attention to Morfydd, undoing the restraints and holding a fleece jacket out towards her. She drapes it over herself with trembling hands. "What's your name?"
Morfydd shakes her head. She's not about to reveal her forbidden secret name, and she can't be referred to as Subject 27 again, she just can't.
"Okay, that's cool. You don't have to tell us. Can you walk at all? Management won't put in a ramp because they say this doorway's not well used enough to 'justify the cost', and it'd be a lot easier to just carry your chair over the lip. Don't worry if you can't."
Morfydd nods and uses Lian to lever herself up, and he tightens the jacket around her, squeezing her fingers. Her legs are still shaky from the shock, and the two of them lean on each other as they follow their guards down the corridor, the wheelchair forgotten by the entrance.
"We need to call someone to accompany them," says Jodie, "you know what management's like."
"God, yeah. Their cost benefit analyses. Mars maybe? Are they free?"
Jodie shakes her head. "They're on leave. By the time they get here it'll be too late. Gemma though..."
"I'll call her." Sam stops at the doorway to a set of lifts and presses a button on his communicator.
"What is it?" asks a woman, sounding harried.
"Gemma. We need you in the meeting room. We've got two kids here and if they end up with management as their legal guardians–"
"I got it. I'll be there as soon as I can. Any powers?"
Sam glances at them. "Not that I know of. But the girl seems a little overwhelmed, can you bring something for that?"
"Yep. Over and out."
The painful static cuts out and Jodie rolls her eyes. "Does she always have to end calls like that?"
Sam smirks, which softens into a genuine smile as he stops Morfydd and Lian just after they exit the lift.
"Alright you two. I know this is confusing, and scary, and it's about to get scarier, but don't agree to anything, or sign anything, until Gemma gets there. Okay? She has your best interests at heart, and you may not believe that, but please believe that these guys don't. You understand?" They both nod. Morfydd doesn't really understand but she knows an instruction when she hears it. "Good. Well, let's get you in there, and good luck."
Jodie knocks on a door and steps inside, beckoning Morfydd and Lian to follow. They step inside, Morfydd's heart pounding as she sees the three smartly-dressed people sitting at one end of the long table. Jodie fetches two wheelie chairs and ushers Morfydd and Lian into them at the other end.
Morfydd sits stiffly, still shaking slightly. Her legs feel like jelly, near-collapse, and she thinks it's a combination of lingering effects from the shock and more walking than she's done in a while. She did exercises in her room but it's not the same as actually walking, apparently.
Lian sits down beside her and nudges himself closer, almost unnoticeably in front. She breathes out a long breath at the sight, and squeezes his hand tighter.
"Here are the children. Don't be too mean to them." With a last smile that Morfydd thinks is meant to be reassuring, Jodie leaves the room, shutting the door behind her.
Morfydd's body locks up the moment she hears it click. It's not a lock but a completely closed door isn't good.
"So," says the man in the centre, "you're Lian Bai, son of Yi Bai. Where's your dad?"
"He's– I don't know! He was shot and Razor's base shut and I don't know what happened to him."
"Out... of... commission," murmurs the woman on the left as she scribbles on a notepad, "status... unknown." Lian's mouth tightens in displeasure and Morfydd squeezes his hand. He shouldn't talk back, they... belong to these people now.
"Right," says the man in the centre (the leader maybe), "that's that. We should get you two to medbay."
Morfydd shrinks back in her chair and Lian stands, gripping her hand tightly, blocking her from view.
"You're not experimenting on her anymore! Leave her alone!"
Morfydd whimpers and claps her free hand over her ear. "Nonono, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, please."
"Oh for– we're not going to hurt you, it's a medbay," snaps the woman on the right. "They just need to run some tests."
No. No, no more tests, no. She moves her chair back instinctively, back back back, dragging Lian with her, even though she shouldn't. It's against the rules to back away but she can't help it, she's so scared, back back back, until she bumps into something solid and warm and–
"Woah, hey there. What are you two doing?"
This woman's voice is gentler but Morfydd doesn't trust it. Lian tumbles to his feet.
"Let us go! You're not gonna hurt her!"
"No, of course I'm not." She turns to address Morfydd directly and pulls something out of her pocket. "Here, put these over your ears. They should help with the noise." Morfydd slides them over her ears and oh, that's so much better. The light dims too as the woman does something and she can think again. She didn't realise how much it all hurt until it was a bit better. "I'm Gemma. Let me just sort this out, yeah? Stay here."
Gemma crosses over to the table and folds her arms, leaning close to the officials. Her voice turns sharp. "Right. You need a legal guardian for these two. Where do I sign?"
"Are you sure you're up for this, Ms Donovan? We can handle them."
"Yeah, their reaction sure tells me you can. You're terrifying them and I don't trust your cost-benefit analyses to be beneficial to either one of them. It's not like I won't be able to find anyone to help me, anyway. Give me the papers."
The man who was scribbling earlier fishes some papers out of the pile and hands them over to Gemma, who scans and signs them.
"There. They're mine now, right?"
"Yes."
"Great. Now I'm going to need the room, if you don't mind. With all due respect, go back to your cosy offices."
The three people at the table pack up and leave, and Gemma turns the light down further until it's only a glimmer. Morfydd can still see, though, and it's a relief. It's somewhat like she vaguely remembers normal vision to be like, although she doesn't remember it well. She watches Gemma warily as she approaches. Lian grips her hand tightly.
Can he even see?
"Is this okay for both of you? Can you see?"
"Yes," whispers Morfydd.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good. Now, if I'm going to take you in, I need something to call you."
"I'm Lian. And my friend doesn't have a name."
"Not even a secret name? Lots of people have secret names. I'm very good at keeping secrets." Morfydd bites her lip. She's not sure it's wise.
"It's my forbidden, special secret name," she whispers, "you won't tell anyone?"
"Not a soul, I promise. Only the three of us will know, unless you ever decide otherwise."
Morfydd nods once, firmly, but Lian narrows his eyes.
"You're sure? You won't punish her for having one?"
"No. Never."
He doesn't look completely satisfied but he steps back anyway, letting Morfydd decide. Her heart skips a beat.
"Morfydd. My secret name is Morfydd."
Gemma smiles. "Nice to meet you, Morfydd. You're a long way from home." She sits back on her heels. "So. Do either of you have any questions?"
Morfydd and Lian glance at each other.
"Do we belong to you now?" asks Morfydd. She hopes so. She'd rather belong to this woman than those people earlier. Is that what legal guardian means?
"Not exactly. I'm going to take care of you, but you belong to yourselves. I'm not going to force you to do things. We don't own people here. I'm kind of... well, not your parents, you probably had parents at some point, Morfydd, and Lian, I knew your dad. I would never try to replace them, but I hope I can do good enough as a stand-in."
Morfydd frowns. So... it's like when she was with her mum? Maybe? That's nice, in theory. But people always care about her powers more than her, so she's not entirely convinced.
"What did they mean about taking us to medbay?" asks Lian, after a minute. He sounds emotional. "Are they going to experiment on Morfydd again?"
"No. Never again, I promise. They want to make sure you're healthy. But if you were one of Razor's captives I assume he monitored your health. Do you know anything?"
Morfydd nods. "I'm a bit undernourished, they couldn't get me to put any weight on no matter what they did, and I get tired easily, I always have. But s'nothing really bad, I don't need to go to medical."
"No. No, I don't believe you do. That can wait until you're ready. Lian, do you have any medical conditions? I know your dad would've taken good care of you."
"Nothing– nothing that I know about, ma'am."
"No need to be so polite, it's okay. Anything else, before we go and get you settled in? You could both do with a wash and some food down you."
Morfydd shivers. She doesn't like the food she's allowed, it's bland and tasteless. But something's been on her mind for a while. She's just... not sure whether requests are allowed. Gemma's very different to anyone else.
"I– I heard people use they for one person earlier. Can I try that? For me?"
"Of course you can. You can try out as many pronouns as you like here."
Morfydd smiles, relieved. As many as she– they like? They never imagined that was even an option.
"Thank you."
"It's no problem. Anything else?" Morfydd and Lian both shake their heads. "Okay. Let's find you some warmer clothes than a hospital gown and fleece, and a torn, bloody t-shirt and jeans, shall we?"
Warm! They're going to be warm, too! Properly warm! They're sure they'll lose the privilege at some point, they always do, but for now they get to be warm! They launch themself at Gemma, forgetting their wariness, not really noticing that they're pulling Lian with them, just so, so grateful for it all.
"Hey. Hey, it's okay. Lian, you want a hug too? Yeah? It's okay, you can cry all you want. We'll stay here as long as you need."
Morfydd snuggles into Gemma's cloak, Lian's hair tickling their cheek, their arm around his shoulders. It's so, so warm, and Gemma doesn't seem to mind their clinginess. Maybe this place can be nice for them.
Well. They don't really believe that, but they certainly hope so.
Ok but imagine Phoenix is captured by a villain who uses a truth serum on them. The kind of one that just makes them talk as well.
Now imagine it hasn't worn off by the time they're rescued.
Whoever rescues them is shocked by just how much they assumed they wouldn't be rescued, and how low their self-esteem is. And they have a lot of feelings about it.
The rescuer could either be Kai and/or Aaron, who know Phoenix is bad but they didn't quite realise just how bad, or a member of Phoenix's new team who they haven't revealed any of this to yet and who is taken aback. Is it obvious Phoenix isn't exactly confident, and has been treated badly? Yes, but damn, they didn't realise their mental state was so awful.
Leaning towards Morfydd if I write this with a member of the new team tbh, bc they'd make the most sense with what everyone seems to know in the most recent piece, but idk. Kai and Aaron are always fun and they've had less focus recently, especially Aaron (bonus that Aaron takes patient confidentiality extremely seriously, so Phoenix could pretty much tell him anything and it wouldn't affect what anyone else knows by whatever point this is).
Anyway I can't start writing this for a while so I'm just going to be rotating it around in my brain like a rotisserie chicken, but if you have any thoughts (especially on who the rescuer could be) yell them at me!
⚰️ What’s an OC or story that never made it past the planning phase?
... Hasn't made it past the planning phase yet.
I have a couple ideas that I'm working on and planning to do at some point. Not including drafts including OCs that just haven't been posted yet (Farai and Nuru, for example, exist in wips but I haven't posted about them yet). There's a few AUs, but I'll just talk about the series.
First one is tiny cereal box toy whumpee and human whumper who really wanted one as a kid so gets one now but is a bit clueless about the whole thing. Carewhumper, eventual caretaker. Also occasionally feat child accidental whumper. There's a lot of accidental whump by both. Tiny whumpee is human x lesser hedgehog tenrec, and curls up and pokes her spines at people when she feels threatened. She's called Alika.
Another is a vampire who inherits his estranged uncle's bloodbag and has to figure out how to go about de-persuasioning (?) him, with the help of his friend. The whumpee's called Sunday Afolayan, the caretakers are Tristam Sharp and Aileen Ross, and the (former) whumper is Tristam's uncle Barnabas. You can even have some picrews – I'll let you guess who's who. It's inspired by an ask @whumpsday got that rotated around my brain constantly for a bit, before leaving and now pops in every so often to say hi!
🎨 What do you think is your most creative whump idea?
Hmm. I'm... not sure, honestly? I like the idea of the yearly hunting night in Sam and Lucan. I was about to say the cereal box whumpees but that's basically a development from @blood-and-regrets comment on a BBU post. So the Hunting Night, and the points scored for killing, maiming, etc, and the vigil afterwards... there was more that didn't fit into the piece, but I am proud of that idea. And I think it's my most creative too although I'm not sure (anyone with different ideas want to chime in, you're more than welcome bc actually I'm curious now).
🦷 Which OC is the most likely to bite? Who’s most likely to get bitten?
Cass is most likely to bite. Followed closely by Morfydd.
Getting bitten... probably Amanda due to her job with helping rescue, re-home and rehabilitate non-human slaves. A lot of them bite.
