Often, when reading books or watching tv shows or movies, I identify with secondary characters – almost never with the main ones. Long ago I ascribed this to a flaw in my psyche, which I will not dig into here, but I still stand by this opinion.
The problem starts when I write a story and place its most important character in the secondary position. The story loses cohesion. Like I said, I came to this realization some time ago, so in most of the stories I now have on my list, I managed to work around this problem. Perhaps Crystal Spring Valley started this way (in 2017) to some extent – initially I was more focused on Tenney, and Priya was only there to observe him. But even during the planning phase I realized she had to be more significant, more proactive and, over all the writing and then editing, I think I made Crystal Spring truly a Priya’s story.
Now I should do the same thing with Ananke.
I started Ananke way back in 2012. That was the time when I didn’t even realize that characters were important and was first and foremost focused on worldbuilding, on calculating all the distances between the planet, its sun, the spaceships traveling through the system, the amount of power they would require, things like that. When I submitted this story to a contest in 2014, I received a personalized review – and the reviewer told me that it was well written, but boring, because nothing happened to the characters.
It was a blow for me, but also a very important lesson. The characters who lived in this universe were cardboard cutouts, that was true. In the last ten years I kept putting this story on the shelf and taking it back, putting it away and returning to it. I tried to find the right people to inhabit the world – maybe that group? Maybe another?
[As a sidenote I want to say that I wrote a lot of fanfiction in that period of time (and before it too). I always enjoyed writing so-called “case fics”, and my stories were never popular in any fandoms. Here’s why: fanfiction, as a genre, is very character-focused – an unspoken rule I realized after that review of Ananke. So, I tried to make my fanfics more character-focused and I think I succeeded, judging by the kind of reviews I started getting (and the quality of friendships I built with other authors )].
The characters I thought would fit Ananke – one batch of them were characters based on one of the tv shows. I wanted to try writing this story as an AU fanfic. That didn’t work. Recently – as in 2020 – I decided to definitively give up writing another story that was going nowhere – but which, I felt, had good characters. My own characters that I’d come to love and care about a lot. What’s better then, than taking them, their names, their character traits, their relationships – and having them inhabit the empty world of Ananke?
It was a fantastic decision. With a small “but”.
The story I wrote was focused on two characters, Morgan and Conor, who are on an enemies-to-friends relationship trajectory (in the 2014 version they were one person, same as in the 2017 fanfic-inspired version). I think this version is good, I like it, but its 40k words long. It’s too short to be a novel and too long to be published in a sci-fi magazine. My friend said that I could expand it, that I could write more about the secondary characters, because they seemed interesting. I could explain some details of the worldbuilding that were unclear. I might even add facets to the two main characters, by exploring more of their relationships which, in this 40k version, were only brushed upon.
I didn’t want to do this, because that’s a lot of work and I already have so many other long stories that I love and want to write. So, the other option was to shorten it. Which is what I did in 2023 and failed spectacularly.
I chose Conor to be the main character of this shortened version. I had two reasons – for one, he had more interactions with the most important of the secondary characters, their boss, Stella. He also seemed to be making more decisions and I thought they were interesting, story-wise.
As I was nearing the final act of the story, I realized though, that the most dramatic decision was made by Morgan. He was the one who carried the real conflict. As much as Conor was making decisions – of course he was – he had nothing to lose. Morgan, meanwhile, put his life on the line, in that 40k version. Removing his plot in order to make the story shorter, not showing how and why he came to that point, was a gargantuan mistake.
Another realization I came to, was the one I started this entry with. The character from the 2014 version had the same fear I later gave Morgan. But I didn’t explore it at all, back then, because I thought it would be boring. It existed only in the back of my head. I tried to give him some other obstacles that never felt authentic. Even in the 2020 version, that fear was only vaguely introduced throughout the story, and became prominent in the final act.
Then, in 2023 version I removed it again. I wrote a story where Morgan, my most interesting character, and the one I could most identify with, became a secondary character. At this point, I should have known better, but some thought processes regarding Ananke were already rooted too deep for me to see it right away.
I did see it, eventually, and that I’m very happy about – and proud of.
Now, I’m about to start from scratch. And this time Ananke will be told from the beginning, as Morgan’s story. As a story of him fighting his fears, where the intricate worldbuilding (well, I am happy I have created such a rich world here ), as well as other characters (who at this point are well developed too ), will only be the background to his development.
I don't even... I really don't care about this story anymore. Why am I trying so hard to have it published? Just because it's "nearly ready"? Because it just needs "one final push"? (how many "one final pushes", ey?)
Ugh.
It takes up my time, that I could spend on stories that actually give me joy. What the eF? Why am I like this?
And the changes I'm doing now, they are not what I wanted this story to be anyway! I removed the character I liked the most, because his story was not about the actual plot, but about his own inner struggle, which I deem "uninteresting" to the rest of the world. And now I'm attempting to write a thing that ends in a disaster. I don't like unhappy endings! I don't know if readers like them. I don't know it it would make more sense, create more tension, make for a better story. I don't know. Maybe. But I don't like it, so WHY AM I DOING THIS?
Maybe instead, if I really-truly want to shorten this thing, I should make it a Morgan story? Remove Stella's and Conor's Povs and just make it about Morgan entirely?
I literally only have the Final Climax of the story to write (plus the resolution, technically). Three, maybe four chapters. Sheesh.
I kind of had to split chapter #26 and #27 into three chapters. I guess. I also had to rearrange pieces of dialogue, so it may all look a little different?
I’m hitting all the emotional beats in this edit and I love it. Saying they have changed? It’s important. Conor learned to appreciate other people, and he likes it. He still thinks he’s the smartest person in the room, but it doesn’t mean others can’t add something valuable to that solution he’s looking for. He’s still riding on that high, that solving that big problem gave him. He feels fulfilled, and he’s not afraid to admit he owes it to others, not just himself and his genius.
Morgan, meanwhile, he still has a few steps to make toward his ultimate change and growth. He has to let go of things that keep him in the past. He probably won’t, there’s not enough time in this story, but it wasn’t supposed to be a story about him healing. It was a story about him realizing he may begin that process. About him finding the reason to work for it. Just a few more steps. He’s already stood up, and he’s facing toward that light at the end of the tunnel. And Conor’s right there, ready to hold his hand.
Aaaa. What even was that? Sheeesh. I may be a little in love with those two, lol. They are not in love with each other, though, mind you. They are FRIENDS. Because friendships are important too.
And now the full synopsis of Ananke from Morgan’s perspective. Enjoy!
Morgan Alexander is a Transfer Engineer, a chief of a Team of specialists in Aruna Antimatter Transfer Station. He’s funny and eloquent and expresses genuine care about his subordinates. He’s also very skilled and hardworking and it gained him his position. Conor Jasper might be the only person in the world who ticks him off.
That’s how he appears on the outside. Deep inside, however, he hides pain that keeps eating at him and prompts him to make stupid decisions.
When the accident happens in deep space, everyone knows it’s something that doesn’t happen often and it will require creative solutions. All Teams are called upon, and tasked with figuring out how to save Ananke – the ship that’s in danger – while not all data is yet available. Teams are supposed to work together, it’s no time for competition. Conor and Morgan can’t help themselves and try to one-up each other.
Morgan allows himself to get dragged into this competition mostly out of spite. He realizes Conor takes the matter all too seriously and he just feels this irresistible urge to mess with him. It serves its purpose as Morgan’s shenanigans force Conor to actually come up with a solution.
Except, when he presents his solution to the higher-ups, they are all told that, because of new data, Conor's calculations will now be used to destroy Ananke. She’s on a course toward the Oort Cloud and the collision will most likely cause a system-wide catastrophe and cause shortage of antimatter in the entire region of space.
Morgan can’t accept sacrificing millions of lives onboard Ananke, even if it means saving the system, the Station and hundreds of other worlds.
He wants to try and feed the ship with antimatter anyway, because it will not only save those lives, but prevent the catastrophe. Why can’t they do both? It’s not that simple though, as even Conor’s calculations do not guarantee success (and they need a hundred-percent guarantee), there’s very little time and on top of that they have orders from way above.
Morgan decides to act against those orders and drags Conor into it as well. He manages to gather quite a group of people, who are willing to give this very difficult and risky situation a try. But when Conor tells them what is their option – a very small window of opportunity, with a risk that they’ll end up stranded in the Station for the six-years-long night, suddenly it’s Morgan who wants them to resign.
He doesn’t intend to resign himself though. He believes he can implement Conor’s solution on his own, with the help of the Station’s Core AI. Conor is the one who guesses what his plan is and stays with him.
They manage to save Ananke, but then Morgan’s past hits him full-force. He had been stranded on the night side before, with a group of people, and they all died. He won’t be able to handle it, if the same thing happens to Conor – in fact just imagining that possibility makes him panic.
Luckily, Conor proves to not only be smart, but also supportive and compassionate. He figures the way out of this predicament, all the while keeping Morgan focused and as calm as possible.
7. Which OC wasn’t supposed to exist but captured your heart immediately?
That will have to be Dominic Mitchell. He was born two days ago, but I’m mad about him. He’s magnetic, he’s fun, and he’s hiding a dark past. Like all of my OCs? Well, what can I say? I’m me… ;p
He feels different, though. He feels like a guy who wants to find something that makes him happy in his life and hold onto it with both hands, despite all the misery. Earlier OCs either didn’t pay much attention to happiness, or they were just resigned to being miserable.
I still don’t know what his impedement is, I don’t want it to be the same as the character he was fashioned after, but I’ll figure it out. Part of the fun is finding it. ;)
He certainly fits the criterion of “not being supposed to exist” to a T. He came out of nowhere!
17. What writing advice has helped you grow recently as a writer?
It wasn’t very recent, but at some point the advice to “write for myself” finally got through to me. It wasn’t so much with writing itself, as with approach to life in general. When one seeks approval from a mother all their life, it seeps into… well, into everything really. I was desperately trying to write stories that would have _meaning_, in the social sense, that would be somehow important, because that’s the kind of books and art my mother approves of.
Well. No more. Now I write because I like it, and I write about the things that matter to me. If they are important things, on some level, great. I guess I will never be rid of that mindset and it’s not a bad mindset to have. But that’s not my purpose anymore. My purpose is to enjoy writing. :)
21. Which of your OCs could greatly benefit from therapy?
Oh, haha, I love this question! I won’t go into Dominic, because he’s not fleshed out enough, but he certainly would.
Other than that, let’s see…
Crystal Spring Valley
Priya was taken away from her family as a little baby and she was raised by another family, who were good to her, but she always felt inferior. And like she doesn’t have a place where she truly belongs. She could benefit from therapy, but she’s resilient. She will find ways to realize she’s wonderful and a found-family to belong with.
Tenney could use actual modern medicine, but that’s a different issue.
The Specters
Noel, oh Noel could be taught to understand he is allowed to hate his father. His father deserves to be hated, not admired, like so many people in Noel’s circle do.
Emma, strangely enough, I think doesn’t need therapy. Yes, her daddy abandoned her, but she had Agatha, and even though Agatha is not a motherly type, she accepted Emma and gave her both the room and the feeling-of-security to grow.
Nersan needs to be told he deserves love and care as much as all the people he loves and cares about.
Neve is awesome. And awesomely resilient.
Ananke
Morgan was severely traumatized. He is in therapy, I’m just not sure it actually works.
Conor could be taught how to not be an asshole. ;) But then, he learns it for himself.
The main OCs from other stories aren’t developed enough to dig into whether they would benefit from therapy. But I guess it could apply to a lot of them. ;)
When crafting my characters I use a mixture of Enneagram and Myers-Briggs personalities. It helps to figure out their basic fears, desires, flaws and strengths. It’s not that I take a dart and leave it to blind luck, no. I have a basic idea of a few characteristics and when I read the analysis I feel if the personality fits that character, or not.
For the first time I chose the complete opposites for my two main characters in the story. Conor is ISTP and Morgan is ENFJ. They have nothing in common, ha! Maybe that’s why they are so antagonistic. :)
I wrote the one-page synopsis of Ananke. And I’m so happy with it you guys, so happy! It turns out I will not have to kill one of my characters for this story to be dramatic and scary. I can up the stakes and save them both in the end (well, they can save each other, Conor was stubborn about it ;p ). It’s such a relief... *grin*
Also it’s totally an *enemies-to-lovers* trope. Or at least to the bestest of friends, lol.
Morgan: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Conor: What changed your mind?
Morgan: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.
