Yes, I'm supposed to be writing. Or, in this case, editing. Or, rather, re-reading previously written words, to find errors and inconsistencies... And this is what I'm doing although slower than I'd like:
Ha! I didn't even know TrackBear does such pretty pictures, this easily! :D
The fragment I've just read reminded me (also in context of that headcanon that's not happening, y'kno Pigeon. And Ari ;) ) that if I want a story to be told, I have to tell it myself.
A little bit of whump and hurt/comfort in my novel? Not impossible at all. :)
The fragment is long-ish, so most of it is behind the cut.
Priya underestimated Tilga’s warnings. Tenney woke up for the first time merely a few minutes after Tilga had left. It was like he woke up from a vision though, and not a clear one at all. He was mumbling incomprehensibly, moaning, crying. The only thing Priya could do, was hold him, stroke his sweaty hair and whisper equally nonsensical calming words. He quieted down as suddenly as he’d awoken.
Priya spent a few more minutes at his side, but as he wasn’t even stirring and she was sleepy, she left him and turned in, on the cot in the storage room. It seemed like she hadn’t even shut her eyes, when a frightening shriek tore her out of dreamless slumber. Judging by the crimson tint on the semi-opaque windows of Tilga’s home, it was a few hours later, but not by much.
This time Tenney was sitting on the edge of the bed. As Priya entered, he stared at her, like she was a phantom. She couldn’t tell if he recognized her.
“Did you have a dream?” she whispered, not closing the two-step distance between them. Her heart hammered and her whole body was tense, ready to run at the slightest warning.
Tenney inhaled sharply, looked around, his eyes jumping from one shadow to the next, then he focused back on Priya and shook his head.
Then he nodded. “Yeah,” said hesitantly. “I think so, but I don’t remember.”
She noticed he was trembling, whether from cold, or from fright, she couldn’t tell. She came nearer and picked the blanket from the bed. It was damp, as were his shoulders and neck – from sweat – but she picked it up and wrapped around his back as best she could. He pulled it closer and folded in on himself.
“I’m sorry I woke you,” he whispered.
Priya simply kept stroking his back without a word. Then she put her other hand on his and he twisted his palm to squeeze her fingers back. They sat for a moment, their fingers intertwined on his knee, and Priya tried to find the right words to initiate the conversation about all the important stuff. She couldn’t bring herself to burden him with it when he was so vulnerable, though.
She kept going back to Julia’s assertion that this was really some illness, and not a mystical conversation with a Goddess. Looking at Tenney’s tired eyes, grayish skin and sweat beading on his forehead, she couldn’t deny the probability of those words. She pushed away a strand of hair plastered to his temple, and he turned to look at her. Lips pursed, eyes apologetic and grateful at the same time. She wanted to embrace him, hold him, but she didn't want to cross any boundary.
“You should lay back down,” she said instead. “Try to get some more sleep.”
Tenney nodded, wordlessly and in a few awkward movements he reclined. Priya covered him with a blanket and he just closed his eyes and turned away.
She heard him wake up a few more times, but when she entered the alcove, all he said was that he was fine, he was sorry, and she should go back to sleep. So she did.
When she woke up before dawn, it was to the sound of him going outside.
“Tenney!” she called after him and he stopped in the door. “Wait, we have to talk!”
He hesitated. A soft smile ghosted his lips. “It’s okay. We don’t.”
“I’m telling you, we do!” She padded barefoot up to him. “It’s about your plan to go downriver, with all the--” she waved her hand. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“It’s Crystal Maiden’s plan,” he replied as if that explained everything.
Thank you for reading.
Tagging (no pressure): @my-dress-is-on-fire, @thewildballyntynesgrow, @echo-bleu, @hithelleth
Moving along with Crystal Spring Valley edits. I picked up the pace in the recent weeks, after however many months of literally not doing anything there. Got through the mid-story slump. Well, actually I am now nearing the actual midpoint of the novel, but that one is exciting. Dissecting character motivations here, putting all the players in the right spots, before everything inevitably gets flipped on its head. That’s fun. :)
I am about five, maybe seven scenes away from the No Return Point, which is Priya making a stupid-ass decision that will -- a couple more scenes later -- put them all in grave danger. Oh well, where would we be, if our characters weren't making stupid decisions?
This is a fragment from Crystal Spring Valley, as I'm now re-reading it. Trying to use the work-free month to make progress on two stories at the same time. Oi.
Building the new gangway took them four long-days. There was very little growth at the bottom of the gully, so at least that didn’t slow the construction, but they needed solid wood, and a lot of it. Initially only about twenty people were able to do the job. Then, as some of the less severely wounded were up to the task, the work went faster.
Luka was on the mend, at least physically. He was getting stronger every day and by the time the gangway was ready, he was able to walk to it on his own two feet. When it came to crossing it, though, he froze. The bridge didn’t seem solid – it shook and swayed as people walked on it, one by one. It was narrow too, and only had a railing – crooked and uneven – on the right side. The one where Luka was missing a hand.
“Come on.” Priya tried to goad him into taking a step forward. “I’ll help you, okay. I’ll hold the railing and you will hold onto my arm. Or I you can walk backwards. I’ll be in front of you, guiding you.”
But Luka shook his head.
“It’s best if I just-- If I just walk away.” His voice was rough and tone stubborn. “I’ll go down into the Valley. I don’t know. I’m not needed there.” He gestured at the walls rising on the other side of the gully. “You don’t need me.”
“I do need you, Luka,” Priya said, but she wasn’t sure how to convince him. “Your sword arm is your left arm anyway,” she blurted out, against her better judgment. “You can still fight.” It was the wrong argument, and she knew it even before she spoke.
He gave her a glare and just like that, turned away and started walking down the borough and the remnants of their encampment.
“Luka, wait!”
Priya wanted to run after him, but it was Julia who changed his mind. She stepped in front of him and said something in a quiet voice, for his ears only. Luka stopped, looked at her, tried to shake his head, but she grabbed his face and spoke again, words Priya couldn’t hear, couldn’t read from the movement of Julia’s lips. Words she envied her so much. Those words convinced Luka to come back to the edge of the gully, to fight his fear and his helplessness. To cross to the other side and enter Fir Grove.
Priya was envious, but she was also very, very grateful to Julia for keeping Luka with them. And, hopefully, for giving him an incentive to fight for his health and for his future.
(I see there’s a lot to fix in this picture, don’t @ me)
Priya Samir of Clan Karga, the Nestess of Rosehaw, is the main character of the novel Crystal Spring Valley. At the beginning of the story, she is a young woman, searching for her place in the world.
She was born to a family whose power had been stripped away. Her father, the Nester of Rosehaw, used to be one of the seven commanders of the troops that protected the Valley of the river called Crystal Spring. Unfortunately, an enemy much more powerful than the nation that lived – and thrived – in the Valley had come and demanded the nests surrender to them. They are called kadmons*.
After initial struggles some nests – mostly those downriver – had given in to the kadmon rule. The nests upriver, among them the highest placed Rosehaw, continued to fight and were severely punished for it. One family was murdered in its entirety, and Nester Eskander Samir was threatened that his wife and only daughter would be killed as well. The wife’s fate is unclear – for most of her life Priya believed her mother had died of natural causes, perhaps in childbirth, but over the course of her adventure, she learns that her demise might have been a lot more tragic.
As an infant, Priya was then taken downriver to White Tower Nest to be raised by her distant cousins along with their children of similar age. In White Tower Nest the kadmon rule was accepted, their culture applied and cherished to the point that they were treated as superior beings. This is the environment young Priya grew up in. She was taught kadmon science, which is far more advanced than that of her people’s, she was immersed in kadmon tradition and beliefs – even though some of her people’s beliefs, mostly stories told by the fireplace, persisted.
She rarely had a chance to see her father. Eskander Samir was allowed to visit White Tower for the first time when Priya was five years old, and continued to visit once a year after that, for a few days. When Priya was a young teenager, she was allowed to travel upriver to Rosehaw and she spent one summer there.
When she grew up, her father fell ill and at that point, Priya was sent back to her home nest and allowed to remain there, caring for her father and preparing to take over the rule in case of his death. She was in contact with White Tower Nesters and still under their influence, what was not regarded well by the Rosehaw Nester’s advisors.
As a young, inexperienced chick, and without the support of high-ranking people of Rosehaw Nest, Priya had very little authority there. She hoped, however, that she could prove herself with time.
When the story begins, Priya is still very much under the influence of her kadmon-friendly upbringing. She believes the Valley would benefit greatly from kadmon scientific discoveries and wants to introduce them to the people who should – by birthright, she believes – be her subjects.
The Valley culture, though, is different, and birthright is only one of the arguments that someone should be a nester – or a nestess. Anti-kadmon sentiments are brewing among the clans of the Valley. Groups of rebels threaten commons, nests and yardeens.
What happens, when Priya Samir’s and one of those groups’ paths cross? Will they clash? Will they fight? Or will they find the common tongue? (Will there be a love story too?) Priya has a lot to learn about her people and their lives under the kadmon thumb. And they all have to discover what is it that kadmons really want from the Valley.
___
)* the races of Crystal Spring Valley will be explained in another post, coming up soon.
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Tags under the cut.
(If you want to be added to my general WIP taglist, or to Crystal Spring Valley taglist, let me know)
For the character ask game: 4, 11 and 16 for Priya and Tenney? You can choose which question to answer for each, or all of them ;)
4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?
I don't think I have a moment like that for them. For Priya a fundamental change came gradually, from the talks with Tenney, Ryan and Tilga, and her own "adding two and two together". She was raised in a lie, and by being exposed to different views than those ingrained into her, she learned to see that lie for what it was. So it wasn't a one-time event. The other may not know about that change, because they didn't know her before.
Tenney is consistent in his views. He is changed -- later in the story -- not so much by something he witnesses, but rather by something that happens to him. Something internal. Priya is the most aware of that change. They talk about it.
11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?
As for Priya, let me give you this:
Her Nest cared. Priya Samir represented her Nest.
"I care." She looked into the dark eyes of the bandit leader again. "Let it be known that Rosehaw Nest cares. You can take whatever you like. Just don't hurt anyone."
The man's eyes lost focus for a moment there. He seemed to look through her, took a few rapid, shallow breaths, then blinked and furrowed his brow at her, as if he saw her for the first time. Priya shivered.
"Whatever we like?" he breathed out. His eyes gleamed feverishly. It frightened her more than spears and sabres of his men.
"Yes," she tried to make her voice sound strong, but it faltered.
"What if I want to take you?" He pulled the reins tighter, forcing her capra to take a small step forward.
A cold bead of sweat trickled down Priya's spine.
"You cannot be serious!"
"Please, get down from your capra."
"I said whatever, not who--"
"Fior, aim for the capra!"
Priya couldn't believe what she was seeing. The tall woman adjusted her grip on the javelin, the tip of the weapon unmistakably aimed at the animal's neck artery. Priya could feel the capra's heart pulsing beneath her saddle.
"No!" She choked out.
She heard her men move behind her, saw small adjustments in the bandits' stances. She couldn't let it happen. She didn't want her animal to be killed, she didn't want to order her men to mangle all those children – because she was sure the woman, the leader, the angry one and the big one in the back would get out of this unscathed. She didn't want her men to get hurt either, because some might. She might get hurt. Or even killed. She didn't want any of this.
The man in charge of the bandits apparently knew what she was thinking.
"Get down from your capra," he repeated.
"Nestess," Telfer grunted, but he was not in charge here. She was.
"Stand down," Priya ordered, then climbed off her mount.
Now she stood in front of the bandit leader and stared straight into his eyes. He was maybe an inch taller than her, but slender and hunched over. One of his shoulders seemed to be higher than the other. He did not possess an intimidating body – it was all in his unblinking dark stare. Priya was not scared he would hurt her physically, but his mental prowess inspired respect, profound respect bordering on awe.
And justly so. "Shawn," he said, not letting go of her eyes. He didn't even have to give the order, the angry man found himself at her side instantly and grabbed her arms. Now, that man was scary on a visceral level. He was terrifying, stinking of sweat, his breathing coarse in her ear. He put a knife to her throat.
"Like this?" he sneered. The leader didn't look at him, didn't look at Priya anymore either, even though she tried to get his attention. He was now completely focused on her armed escort.
As for Tenney... hmmm. I'm not sure that he was ever very afraid. He will be, though, when his visions will go away, and he will not see his purpose as clearly anymore. It will be interesting to write, because it will be a different kind of fear, not immediate, not situational, but rather existential.
16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?
They are both focused on success, rather than personal happiness. If it can be distinguished that way, I mean.
Introduce the WIP you’d like to highlight this month. What’s it about? What are some themes/vibes it covers?
[ for more info on The Underwing Challenge click here ]
Crystal Spring Valley is my main WIP and I’m at a second edit stage. So, pretty advanced. However, I haven’t yet made an intro post for it, hmmm...
It’s a fantasy story, in that it’s set in some sort of early medieval setting (castles, forest and mountains, small villages), but there’s no magic in this world, so it’s not really fantasy? I don’t know what it is. Adventure?
The main character is Priya Samir, a daughter and heiress of a prominent man in the Valley, in a time of great turmoil. Invaders want to erase the culture of her people and enslave them, while the men and women of the Valley fight for their freedom. Priya meets a man, Tenney, who claims to be on a mission from the Gods to lead the Valley people in that fight and, reluctantly, she joins him. She’s mostly the voice of reason here, while he acts on emotions, but together, they make quite a power couple. Assisted by several unlikely friends, Priya and Tenney save the day, because of course they do, but as a result, they have to leave the Valley and search for their place in the world elsewhere.
Themes are something like, the right to sovereignty, but also hardships of responsibility. Building of relationships between people – friendship, loyalty, trust in another. There is some analysis of what religion and faith mean to people and why they’re important to some and irrelevant to others.
No one-note positive ending here, because some goals of the main characters cannot be fulfilled, but there’s hope and there’s a prospect of a somewhat happy future, so... It’s all good. And they have one-another. Found family. Yeah, that’s a theme too.
Ha! I just saw in the initial post for Underwing Challenge, that the event will run until May 31st.
Okay, then. I am doing the days I didn’t manage to do during the initial week! ;)
Here I come with...
Underwing Challenge [day 3 – Characters Intro]
Who is your main cast? Describe as many of your OCs as you can cram into one post.
The main character of my main WIP Crystal Spring Valley is Priya Samir, the Nestess of Rosehaw. The main supporting character is Tenney of Clan Cheriga. (There are other characters too, Fior, Ryan, Shawn, Julia and Luke, but they aren’t important enough, so… maybe another time ;)
Nestess (or Nester) is a hereditary title for the people of the Clan of warriors and protectors of the Valley. They live in the Nests – which are basically castles, bastions, placed strategically, where the defense of the Valley is most necessary.
Due to the changes in political and social situation in the Valley, in the recent twenty-or-so years (before the story), the position of Nesters has changed and while some of them try to adjust to the new order, some want to fight against it. Priya’s father is of the latter ilk, while Priya herself seems to want to accept the rule of the Invaders. Is she right though?
Thing is, Priya was separated from her family. She was raised in another Nest, downriver, where the Invaders were welcome. This is why she is sympathetic toward them. There’s a lot she doesn’t know about though, including the way the Invaders treat other Clans of the Valley.
She’s young, a little naïve and very hot-headed. Her heart is in the right place, though, and she is truly open minded. Willing to learn and ready to change if she realizes her mistakes.
Tenney is the reason for that change.
He was born in the Clan of the rafters, the people whose role was trade between the Valley and the Lowlands. Valley people produced goods, timber, wool, items made of horn and wood, while the Lowlands people produced food. The Invaders, who conquered the Lowlands first, changed that dynamic. As a result a lot of people in the Valley are now starving. Not the Nesters, as the Invaders basically “bought” their loyalty.
The people of the Valley try to fight this new order of things, but they are disorganized. They need a charismatic leader who would give them a common goal and a way to achieve it. Tenney has that charisma and the goal and he has something else – the support of the Goddess of the Valley, Crystal Maiden. Or so it seems. Priya doesn’t quite believe in Gods. (Fair warning – neither does the author of this story. It’s not the Goddess that gives Tenney his visions.)
Thing is, Tenney wants an all-out war with the Invaders, while Priya wants to find a peaceful and diplomatic solution. So, they argue a lot. But then they begin to work together and in the end... Well, the end is complicated and there’s some things I need to change in the plot for this ending to hit right, but yeah. It ends well, more or less. Nobody dies. ;)
Greetings from the random oc questions tabby kitten!!💙
Where did your character grow up? How would your character describe their family? How 'conventional' was their childhood? Did they have a good childhood, in their opinion?
Hey, Kitten, thank you for the question. :)
For this one I will talk about Priya Samir, because I think I know the most about her childhood. It shaped her in a way that’s more profound, than for most of my other characters.
Priya was born as a daughter of an important figure in the Valley of Crystal Spring – a Nester of Rosehaw, one the protectors of the Valley, the commander of warriors. At the time she was born, however, an enemy far stronger than anything the Valley ever faced before, came and conquered the Valley.
Things were bad, enemy was cruel and they gave the Nester of Rosehaw a choice – fight them and die, along with his family, or lay down arms and also give his daughter to be raised by another Nest, one that has already surrendered to the new rulers. A hostage. Oh, they also killed the Nestess first, to show they were serious.
Priya’s father gave her away and had no contact with her for the first years of her life. Roshaw is the Nest located far upstream, near the sources of the river, in the mountains. Priya was raised in the Nest that’s located far downstream almost at the border between the mountains and the Lowlands. The family that raised her had two children, a boy and a girl, who were a little older than Priya (like, four and two years older). She was loved and cared for, but there was always this feeling of inferiority. She was a wildling, she was the youngest, therefore the silliest, the most unruly, difficult. If there was a conflict with her adopted siblings, she was always at a disadvantage.
When she was a teenager, she was allowed contact with her father. They didn’t know each other though and he frightened her, rather than made her feel loved and appreciated. He was allowed to come visit her, but she was not allowed to travel to Rosehaw. And she didn’t want to. She wanted to identify with the family that raised her, even though she knew she would never truly be one of them.
At about the time she became an adult (I’m still not set on her precise age), her father suffered a stroke. She was then allowed to return home and stay there. Rosehaw Nest, after all those years, and considering the Nester is now weakened – doesn’t pose any threat to the occupants of the Valley anymore.
The story starts about three years after Priya has been allowed to return home.
So, yeah, her childhood was not conventional, as per the reality of the Valley. It wasn’t bad. Like I said, she was loved and cared for, but in a way that never let her forget about her inferior status. Now, she desperately wants to belong, wants to be accepted.
I think I gotta write her story, right? So she finds that acceptance. :)
