#mostlybbucky <3

[wilsonthemoose]

hiii hello hi beloved 🖤

i was thinking about sam and azazel and wanted to ask you what your thoughts are on their relationship. do you think azazel ever saw sam as his? maybe as a sort of son since sam has johns blood but he also has azazels blood in his veins too. hes as much azazels as he is johns

Hi hi hi hi hi!! <3333333

Hmm well I tended to think Azazel sees Sam as a bit of a pet, he's too arraogant to see humans as anything close to him. But you've just changed my mind! His own blood does run in Sam's veins, he gave Sam powers, watched him grow up, surrounded him with his minions and manipulated him whenever needed. Maybe he possessed Mr Wyatt too, gave Sam the ocassional push and encouraged his distance from John, made him feel alienated, made people brush him off.

Azazel's love for Sam would be a severely fucked up kind. He'd be possessive while also keeping his distance to make sure other demons don't realize his weak spot and make a move on Sam. (I also like to think that the rest of the Special Children were not alternate vessels for Lucifer, but rather decoys meant to keep Sam from being anyone's sole suspicion.)

(Azazel was cunning and clever, he would have known there are demons who don't want Lucifer to rise. He'd have gone far to ensure Sam's relative safety.)

He sent his best demons to keep an eye on Sam. Part of it was to manipulate him, part of it, I suppose, must have been boasting rights. See Sammy, see how closely I watched you growing up. See how I never left your side, made sure you had someone around you all the time. Who do you think beat up that sleaze bag at the motel when you were 9, huh Sammy? Who killed those bullies for you?

Do we entirely believe Brady when he says he was the one who killed Jess? I feel like, with Sam in harm's way, Azazel might have done that himself, it is his trademark afterall. It's pretty possible to read that scene as Brady just goading Sam into making the kill fast rather than letting it drag on.

Your ask also reminded me of these entries from the journal

John's impression that something is mocking him is extremely interesting. And watching Sam as a child while he sleeps is creepy in an intimate, paternal way. It does read as somewhat more personal than Azazel just paying a visit or looking at a tarantula in a jar– he is invested, he gets closer than he needs to.

Azazel also talks about Meg and the demon Dean killed with the Colt in S1 as his children. I read that as the souls he carved into demons. So applying that logic, he would probably think of Sam as his kid, he did manipulate him his whole life, orchestrated a Hunger Games death-fight for him to make him kill innocents like him, and killed people he cared about to twist him into something that would one day carry out his plans.

[wilsonthemoose]

please tell me more about the creepy kid dark dean fic 👀

Hi hello hi! <333333

Well that was the idea but the little brat isn't coming off creepy enough T.T

He hadn't even cried.

Dean stopped talking. Watchful as a fox in a forest, always at arms length.

The social workers shook their heads, the doctors offered sympathetic, guarded reassurances of possibly favourable outcomes with time. "How much time?"

Titled heads, sorry expressions, "There's really no timeframe to these things," shakes of the head.

Blurry weeks and months later, Sammy babbled and Dean only listened. In many ways, John had lost them all that night.

He tested Sam every way he could think of, learn, or just plain make up, silver knives and holy water, salt and mirrors and iron. And he tried to pretend he didn't see the almost hateful, sneering glances Dean shot him, like the echo of that orange glow still lingering in Dean's eyes from the fire all these years later.

[wilsonthemoose]

I made this for an edit but now it's giving me so many dark!dean thoughts 🥲

I'm picturing dean saying this to john, and by 'every one of you' he means whichever other hunters think sam needs to be hunted because of his demon blood/powers/boyking destiny. dean going on a murderous rampage for sam while keeping him in the dark yes I love it

Aww heck yeah! And I like the idea of John saying something that isn't all that provacative, he's just saying something like 'I'm worried about Sam, these visions he keeps having-' and Dean just pounces.

Or! Dean hobbles out of the hospital bunk after John tells him he'll have to save Sam or kill him. He follows John down the corridor to his room and tells him 'I'll kill you and every one else first'. And then he makes good on that promise.

Like! Why! Wasn't there blood and gore when John died? Was Azazel just being nice? Did he not have any hounds to spare? Was hospital security too tight for the hounds to get in?

[wilsonthemoose]

related to the ask you send me about random facts: i also know an alarming number of facts about disposing of bodies so if you ever need help covering up a murder i can help you out with that 😌

You can be my 'I know a guy' (gn)!!

Affectionate ^

[wilsonthemoose]

because im still thinking of that line in your edit of sam having the power to end the world: we deserved to see sams trauma from hell and his hallucinations of lucifer (and cas breaking his hell wall) causing his powers to start up again. but this time he has no control over them whatsoever. he should have slowly lost his mind from the trauma and had his powers reflect that by destroying the world :)

Aww man, Sam being a complete mess, making things break and fly. Every time he spirals, the room looks like a tornado went through it, every time he spirals, he's left with a headache barrelling through his brain and a bloody nose.

Dean tries so hard not to stiffen when Sam accidentally breaks a bottle halfway across the room, but he can't help it, it's just cruel reflex and when Sam catches it, he just sinks further into himself.

After he makes the Impala's mirrors shatter going 90 mph, they stop driving around, it's just not safe anymore.

They stay at Bobby's for a while but Sam can tell Bobby is still uncomfortable around him, and he feels so so awful about trying to kill him when he was soulless, they leave.

They find an abandoned cabin somewhere. It belonged to some dead hunter once upon a better time. Dean empties the place of all glass (Sam's ended up with his barefeet cut open from broken glass too many times for them not to have learnt the lesson by now), and Sam helps him make the place as comfortable as possible after the years and years of neglect. They replace the wood that's rotted (almost the entire cabin, that is), and in place of the glass from the windows, they put up swinging doors (Sam couldn't stand boarded windows, and Dean can't either).

When he's doing more or less well, they'll drive out to town and find greasy diner to eat at. When he's not, they sit on the stairs, look out at the wilderness around them, and eat canned soup.

Lately, he's just about never doing well. Hasn't slept in what feels like weeks. When he does doze off, he snaps awake and doesn't know himself or Dean at all.

He crushes the whole cabin they'd built with himself still inside it.

They salvage what they can.

Dean so often finds him repeatedly banging his head into the wall till his temple is a mess of blood and torn flesh, bones broken under it.

There's nothing to do, he's never going to be ok, never going to get any rest.

He runs away before he can hurt Dean.

It's just that...he doesn't know himself and doesn't know what he's doing and maybe for a moment when the walls are cracking, children crying, floor shaking, maybe for a moment then, the devil shuts his mouth and watches. When the world is burning, there is peace.

[wilsonthemoose]

I headcanon that you have a cute stuffed animal collection

although as I was typing this I remembered your post from ages ago about your stuffed moose. I'm still going with this as my hc for you though 🧸

Afraid so.

[wilsonthemoose]

i first discovered it on vampire diaries too 🫠 i learned about it on the show because apparently their daylight rings needed lapis lazuli to help them walk in the sun

Omg yeah they talked about it on the show too!! I remember finally getting sick of it and googling the exact colour while reading though because surely it holds some kind of plot significance if it's coming up again and again. Nope. LJ Smith just has an obsession with that colour I guess :l

[wilsonthemoose]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! <3

1. The rain! Whenever I'm having a Not Awesome™ day and it starts raining, I take it as a sign just for me.

2. Dogs. Especially mine but all of 'em really.

3. Cats. All cats. Always. Every cat ever.

4. My aunt every so often makes a particular sweet dish that I've loved since I was a kid and she always sends some for me. It's genuinely the loveliest gesture. Makes my cold dead heart feel all warm and fuzzy.

5. Weekends :3