All that you were, I...
I was nothing but a young man in search for what I used to think love was. I thought love would come in loud as a bang! I thought it would make me crazy beyond fix. And that it best came unexpectedly. But the younger me was naive and impatient. So, I looked everywhere, even in the wrong places. And all I found was disappointment in my face reflected through the eyes of the people I encountered with.
I tried my best to scavenge for my own perception of love within the people I had dealt with, which caused me to feign ignorance over their greater qualities as a person. Until “love” walked in and changed everything. It was not loud, nor did it drive me to insanity, but it was indeed unexpected. Rather love was as soft as a lullaby. Love’s beauty calmed the core of my existence and I no longer wanted what I kept on looking for. For I have found something that far exceeded my own standards. All that she was, I admired. She is love.
At last, I understood that I was not meant to find but to discover. I then worked hard to become someone. A canvas that would be deemed worthy of this masterpiece to be its beholder. We were a piece like no other. Everyone glanced in awe at how beautiful of a pair we were. A match made in heaven indeed was what all others said. We slow-danced in the rain of their praises. Jealous eyes that focused on each step our waltz made. But while it was all bliss and indescribable euphoria, both you and I could not care less about the measly pleasure these things brought upon us. We were busy letting ourselves drown in each other’s eyes as our heartbeat became synced. We went with the flow and the flow took us far. All that we were, I desired. Until you didn’t.
Something changed. Like a magician’s coin that disappeared behind one ear and appeared out the other. Except the coin never came back. I was left with nothing right after I thought I already had everything I could ever ask for. Not even an explanation left alone a word. If only I knew Love came with unspeakable pain that left me shocked, confused, angry, depressed, doubtful, and insecure, would I still pursue it? How could one be so utterly cruel to another? All I was left with were thoughts that would never be answered. All that you were, I regretted.
The most unforgettable character in this story is the one that made no room for me to even do so. The one who taught me all about how much of a thin line there is between love and hate. And the one who will continue to plague my mind even after I start forgetting.