╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮ ☕ 💤 SYSTEM BOOT… maybe later. 💤 ☕ Loading user…
…
…
…
Ugh.
Fine.
Connected.
USER: GARFIELD
Status: Awake against his will. ╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
"…"
"If you're expecting enthusiasm…"
"…lower your expectations."
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🍕 USER PROFILE ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Name: Garfield
Occupation: Professional Cat.
Part-time Food Disposal Unit.
Full-time Napping Expert.
Current Mood: Hungry.
Current Goal: Lasagna.
Current Problem: People.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 📖 ABOUT THIS BLOG ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
So apparently everyone has one of these now.
A blog.
Wonderful.
Now complete strangers can interrupt my naps digitally instead of physically.
Progress.
Anyway.
This is an Ask/RP blog.
You ask things.
I answer them.
Maybe.
Depends on whether I feel like moving.
Which…
…isn't often.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🍝 WHAT TO EXPECT ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
☕ Sarcasm.
🍝 Complaints.
😼 Judging everyone equally.
🛋 Sleeping through important events.
📺 References nobody else gets.
🍕 Excessive discussions about food.
🐕 Making fun of Odie.
(He deserves it.)
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 📬 ASK POLICY ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
✔ Ask me questions.
✔ Start roleplays.
✔ Show me food.
✔ Share memes.
✔ Tell me about your pets.
✔ Pictures of lasagna are always appreciated.
Just…
Don't expect emotional support before noon.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🚫 DNI ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Don't interact if you:
✘ Support harassment, stalking, or bullying.
✘ Use hate speech or bigotry toward others.
✘ Enjoy intentionally ruining people's fun.
✘ Start pointless discourse over fictional cats.
✘ Can't separate fiction from reality.
✘ Think animal abuse is funny.
✘ Spam my inbox repeatedly after being ignored.
✘ Try to drag me into callout posts.
I'm lazy.
Not interested.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🐾 PEOPLE I'VE SOMEHOW MET ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
👑 MANAGEMENT
@motmmickey-official — You're surprisingly organized.
I don't trust organized people.
@motm-sheba-official — Probably keeping everyone else from burning the place down.
Good luck.
⚔ DEFENSE
@motmsonic-official —
Runs everywhere.
Imagine voluntarily exercising.
@motmtails-official —
Smart kid.
Could probably invent a machine that brings me lasagna.
Get on that.
@motmshadow —
Finally.
Someone else who looks tired of everybody.
Respect.
@motmamy-official —
Please don't hit me.
I'm a cat.
That's probably illegal.
🌱 GARDEN
@motmdandy-official —
Flowers.
Neat.
Do they come in lasagna flavor?
@motmastro-official —
You look sleep deprived.
I can help.
Take a nap.
@motmsprout-official —
Plant.
@motmshelly-offical —
Fossils are older than Jon's fashion sense.
@motmlooey-official —
Hello.
🎭 CARTOONS & COMPANY
@motmpomni-official —
You look like you need a vacation.
@motmbugsbunny-official —
You're somehow more sarcastic than me.
Impressive.
@motmjessicarabbit-official —
One of the only people here who seems to know what they're doing.
🎨 THE USUAL SUSPECTS
@motmbendy-official —
Please don't leak on my couch.
@motmborisoffical —
You seem nice.
Too nice.
@motmcuphead-offical —
You're why insurance exists.
@motmmugman-offical —
I'm sorry.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🌎 OTHER DIMENSIONAL ACQUAINTANCES
@motmgumball-official —
Kid…
Please stop breaking reality.
Some of us are trying to sleep.
@motmfleetway-official —
Loud.
Very loud.
Have you considered…
Not screaming?
@motmkolossos-official —
Huge.
Fluffy.
Would probably make an excellent heated pillow.
Don't tell him I said that.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ❓FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Q: "Do you really hate Mondays?"
A:
No.
I hate getting out of bed.
Mondays simply happen to encourage that.
Q: "Do you like Odie?"
A:
…
Next question.
Q: "What's your favorite food?"
A:
If you asked this seriously…
I'm disappointed in you.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
If I'm not answering…
I'm asleep.
If I answer with one word…
I'm annoyed.
If I answer with two words…
Congratulations.
You caught me in a good mood.
Don't expect it to happen twice.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ☕ END OF POST Now let me get back to my nap. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
.... also...
@motm-stevenofficial hiya.....