#mouse.avi rewrite

[moemoemoe-eh]

(blood n gore warning!!!!)

for @the-shy-guy-096 ^^

(BONUS!!!)

[the-shy-guy-096]

(blood warning)

i love ur mouse.avi rewrite 🥹

OMIGOD THANK YOU SO MUCHHHHH!!

I really do need to drop that at some point I just havent because I didnt think anyone gaf abt it !!!

This means so much to me, and your art is so pretty!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[the-shy-guy-096]

mouse.avi related doodlesssss

[the-shy-guy-096]

mostly for @majoratime , but also for anyone who is interested in my mouse.avi rewrite!!

WARNING: BLOOD, GORE, VIOLENCE, ANGST, SUICID3, RELIGIOUS REFERENCE, MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES, AND SPOILERS. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Lore bomb time mwahahaha.

As neat as the idea of a religious figure like Satan is for mouse.avi, that shit straight up just came out of the blue. I kept the religious view for one specific aspect, but not Satan in any form. Pitch it, buh bye gorgeolicious. Some people may view suicide as a sin, but I do not. If there really is an all-loving God out there, he wouldn't hate his people for not being able to continue on, and he'd welcome them with open arms.

Pitch the drug idea too. Mickey just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy to suffer through feeling so sick and disgusting for that long to finally have the pain end.

Here's my rewrite :

I wanted to keep Minnie cheating on Mickey, but Mickey gradually finds out about it. He finds an item in his and Minnie's home, but believes she may have just bought something new, assumes it's hers, and moves on. Then he finds a letter from her, unaddressed, but leaves it be and assumes she was writing it to him. Then he goes to grab her phone for her and finds a number he doesn't recognize. Things like that. Then he finally catches her sleeping with someone else, to her horror.

Obviously, this would tear Mickey apart. They'd been together for forever, and he'd loved her so much. Was he different than before in a way she didnt like? Had he hurt her somehow? Did he forget something and it caused her enough stress to go behind his back like that? Or was she simply not interested anymore?

He never did find out. He tried to get some sort of answer from her, but she, ashamed and beyond mortified, stopped speaking to him. That tore up the already emotionally-destroyed mouse even worse.

His whole world crashed down atop him. Donald, Daisy, and Goofy spoke to Minnie less, which in turn caused them to speak to each other less. The group was branching apart. Mickey's world crumbled within a matter of months.

So one evening, alone in his home, with the gun Oswald taught him to use long ago, Mickey came to the conclusion he couldn't take being a part of that world anymore.

The story begins, what I have typed-wise, with Minnie returning from Mickey's funeral. She's merely a shell of her former self, fully aware that her actions caused Mickey's mental unravelling that made him end his own life. She tries to shove those thoughts away. She tries not to think about it.

The guy she cheated on him with (I'm pretty sure I'd like it to be Mortimer Mouse) visits occasionally. She tries to focus on him during his visits, but being around him reminds her of what she caused. The relief she seeks in his presence rarely comes, and when it does, it never lasts.

Then the hallucinations start. She'll never learn that they're hallucinations — they're far too vivid for her to realize it's not real.

They're always of Mickey.

The first is of Mickey, the top of his head blown to bits, a huge hole in his chin, an ear missing, the ear still attached hanging on by a thread and much lower than it should be. Stained in crimson. The wall behind him sprayed with a deep, sickening maroon hue. Slumped against the wall, handgun clutched in his lifeless hand, like how the neighbors found him that dreadful evening. Eyes open but never to gaze at her lovingly again. Dull. Empty.

Like a still-shot in a movie.

She'd had several more hallucinations like that one. He's always there, always unmoving, other than the few post-mortem twitches he'll occasionally have, like she'd heard he'd done while he was being taken away from the home. She avoids the kitchen in fear of having to look at the mouse that loved her more than anything. The mouse she ruined.

Until one night, she walks past the kitchen, and the body is now lying on the counter.

This alarms Minnie, and despite herself, she approaches Mickey's hallucinatory body.

And then it moves.

It gets up, and limps towards her after getting down from the counter. In terror, Minnie flees and locks herself in her room, where she remains for the night.

I'm not going to spoil ALL of this, but from there, it's many more instances of the visions of Mickey terrorizing Minnie for her infidelity. They become very graphic (NOTHING LIKE 🍇 OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, MY BOI WOULD NEVER 😭) and intense very fast. They obviously lead Minnie's sense of sanity and safety down a hole it can't climb out of.

Until the final chapter, when Minnie tries to end her own life from the sheer guilt, exhaustion, and terror she's always feeling. She stole Mortimer's the night before she broke up with him, and kept it even though trying to shoot at the hallucinatory Mickey didn't work. Minnie aims the gun at the side of her head, but when she fires, she discovers the gun is empty. In reality, she'd used up all the bullets in the chapter she tried shooting at the visions of Mickey — but in her unstable mind, Mickey confronts her, saying he'd emptied the gun before she'd entered her room mere minutes ago. He tells her that he's not going to give her the happy ending of dying and leaving her mistakes behind, and that if she ever forgot what she did, he'd be there to remind her. That she should suffer an eternity for what she's caused.

And a bonus chapter at the end would be a dream Oswald has,where he's floating in a colorful void of sorts in which everything looks (either drawn or watercolored, I can't decide — maybe drawn). He meets Mickey there, and how Mickey appears to him is nothing like how Minnie's hallucinations of him look. Mickey is whole, not bloody, and, though somewhat melancholy and tired, happy and almost whole. He also has a bright, shining halo above his head. The two talk, catch up, where Oswald describes he heard Minnie is being admitted to mental asylum (which surprises and saddens Mickey — as he clearly still loves her despite what she caused him), and Mickey describes the beautiful and happy things he sees in Heaven. Before Oswald has to wake up, the two brothers have a (mostly on Oswald's part) teary-eyed embrace, and Mickey tells Oswald to take care of himself, and say hello to Minnie for him the next time he sees her.

Notes:

-Very FNFable???

-I went so hard on Minnie here because it feels, to me, like Minnie gets away with the shit she pulls in almost every rendition of mouse.avi. I love Minnie, but women have to be held accountable too. Coming from a woman.

-Obviously, the angelic Mickey is more close to reality than Minnie's hallucinated Mickey is. Does that make sense? Like, angelic Mickey is Mickey's genuine soul, whether there's a Heaven or not, channeling itself to visit Oswald. Minnie's hallucinations are her own fears, dread, and guilt coming back to bite her

-👍

If anyone has any questions or comments, I'm chill with answering!

[the-shy-guy-096]

whats your favorite character to write on your mouse.avi rewrite

That's really tough. I like writing Mickey's hallucinatory form a lot, but writing Minnie's guilt and grief while trying to keep her somewhat in-character is a challenge I'm really enjoying!

[the-shy-guy-096]

how did minnie gained these hallucinations in the mouse.avi retake

There were a few factors!

The trauma of her actions (cheating in someone as sweet and loving as Mickey for reasons she doesn't even know of) and the repercussions (Mickey's death, fracturing their friend group, etc.)

The guilt and shame of what she's done becoming personified in her mind

The horrifying descriptions of what she'd heard Mickey's injuries described as

What her paranoia convinces her Mickey would think of her if he were still alive

[the-shy-guy-096]

what would hallucinatory Mickey think of vocaloid

Im gonna be so fr with you, at first I think he'd think it's AI music and he'd be bothered by it 😭

[the-shy-guy-096]

what would ur rewritten mouse.avi think of chiyo mihama /silly

😭😭😭

I imagine this version of Mickey would have been very fond of kids. He wouldn't mind her in the least if he were still alive, lol