382 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨
╰┈➤ 𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 ; 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 you're a nurse intern that was added to the tulpar in the last minute; forced to shake off the traumas that hasn't went away because this is your biggest dream ever! space.
──★ ˙🍓 ̟!! mouthwashing x fem!crybaby!reader
୨ৎ | mention of s@, gore, curse words, insulting
All characters in this publication are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people, alive or dead, is purely coincidental.
PROLOGUE
あなたが嫌いです
WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY.
YOU FINALLY WOKE UP FROM THAT NIGHTMARE, after last night having sleep paralysis and somehow went to sleep, you were haunted by the nightmare that constantly repeats over and over again, making you feel more scared and uncomfortable.
you felt vulnerable, still feeling those piercing eyes staring at your face, practically drawing a hole into it.
you breathe heavily, gripping your shirt and trying to atleast breathe normally. ever since you've got to be a nurse intern, you always get sleep paralysis- you thought it went away ever since you hit 14, but then they came back whenever you felt scared and weak, making you feel more hopeless.
' i wasn't destined to be a strong person. i've always been weak mentally. '
your legs trembled when you're trying to wear your slippers, always feeling something, or someone is under your bed, waiting you to lower down your legs and then pull you down under the bed with it, never gonna be found again.
you sobbed in fear, lifting up your legs again and holding your stomach, feeling nauseous. ' god why did you create me this way? ' you thought, your pathetic tears kept flowing down from your eyes. you quickly grabbed your slippers and wore it from the bed, then ran out of your room quickly.
"sweetheart?" your father's voice from downstairs gave you some slight of comfort, knowing that you have someone you can trust and love. when you went downstairs, you always feel like those walls have some sort of eyes that kept staring at you, making you running down the stairs to seek comfort from your father, your source of hope.
"dad!" you whimpered in fear, hugging his waist and burying your face to his chest. you were a grown ass woman, well, not technically. you're a young adult; a nineteen year old woman. but you always felt like you're a kid whenever you're near your father.
your father quickly realize to your paranoia and patted your back, kissing your temple repeatedly. "it's okay, honey...i'm here." he reassured, combing your hair gently. you continued your sobs onto your father's chest, your whole body trembling and still feel those eyes staring at you.
"dad, i don't wanna go to space anymore. i wanna stay with you, i...i'm scared, i don't wanna leave you!" you stifled out, keeping a tight grip on his shirt.
"my sweetheart, you know that's the only way to get more money. my money is not enough for the two of us, and the bills, the food, and you name it. i never wanted you to leave either, baby, i don't want to leave my baby onto space alone, but you have to, okay?" your father comforted, your father always pick up the right words to comfort you, you only hugged him tighter, nuzzling into his chest.
you were paranoid because it's the day you're going out to space.
why were you scared? it's always been your dream, isn't it? seeing the moon, the stars, the constellations, everything on the space. but you felt uncomfortable, being 382 days away from your father, leaving your father alone in the house.
hell, in that time he can get a nice fucking new life with a new wife better than your mother, you hoped.
you sighed, breaking the hug, "i know dad, i just don't feel like being away from you anymore," you replied. "i'm scared. what if i'm a female alone and the rest of the crew is men?" you sniffled. you were horribly scared of men, except your father, of course.
"hon, you know you're a nurse intern now, if you think about it clearly, the nurse can be a female too. it's often females, rarely a male, baby. you don't have to worry, okay?" he kissed your temple, caressing your cheek. "my sweet baby is growing up, let me know your stories about what happened out there in space, tell me about your crews when you get home and tell me about anything. i will always listen to you," he gave you an assuring smile. "now go take a bath while i help you prepare the clothes, okay? if you feel scared i'm in your room."
"okay, dad. i love you so much." you replied, standing up. "i love you too, baby." he replied back with a gentle tone, you grabbed a towel on the laundry room and went to the bathroom, not feeling paranoid again that your father comforted you.
he always knows the best about you, like you were just an open book to him. you wished you'd get a boyfriend, or better, a husband just like your father. but you knew males around your age are still probably having fun and not giving a single fuck to the real world.
you then fill the bathup with warm water.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE TWO STUPID KIDS ADDED IN THE LAST FUCKING MINUTES?!" the brown haired man with a beard yelled to the blond haired man who's frowning, your eyes were already teary and the young adult with a brown hair that reaches his neck beside you only stood awkwardly, he seems like an intern too. "one looks like a fucking idiot, and one looks like a fucking crybaby!"
you shed a tear at that, sure you've got called crybaby a hundreds of times but still, it hurt. the man beside you patted your back, you flinched a little at the touch, but gave in anyway. you were uncomfortable at everything, the touch, the yelling. you were so fucking pathetic.
you suddenly felt a pull on your arm, pulling you away from the commotion, you were about to slap the hand off but when you looked up it was a woman with a messy black hair, eyebags under her eyes. "hey, hey. don't cry," she wiped your tear, but you only sobbed harder at the touch.
"i don't mean any harm, i promise. i'm anya, and i'll be your mentor. you're my intern, right? it's okay, everything's gonna be alright." god, anya reminded you of your father already and it hurts so bad. you missed your father now. you regret everything. i hate people. i hate men.
"miss anya," you calmed down a bit, still sniffling. "i think i shouldn't even be with you all-" while anya puts her index finger on your mouth, shushing you.
"just call me anya. and no, i think you deserve your place as my intern, i've failed to get to medical school 8 times and yet, i didn't give up. and i think you should too. being sensitive doesn't mean you'd fail at everything." anya smiles at you, a soft smile plastered on her face, you stared at her face, getting some sort of deja vu. she looked like someone you knew, but you didn't exactly know who.
"thank...thank you. i'm sorry, again. it's embarrassing...to be crying at work." you murmured, holding your elbow tightly and you're sure it's gonna leave a mark. anya only let out a small laugh, "no, no. i think it's fine, you're just not used to harshness, i get it," anya smiles, ruffling your hair. "thank you," you smiled back at her awkwardly. . .
. . .
"so uh, [name], right? i'm the captain of the ship, just call me curly. it's nice to have you here," curly said to you, giving his best smile and trying to cheer you up. honestly, while he was arguing with jimmy, on the corner of his eye he saw you crying and now he was worried. you only fidgeted with your fingers, not giving him a single look and kept looking down at the ground. somehow, in a time like this the ground looked really interesting.
"well, our ship's name here is tulpar! pretty cool, huh? we got swansea, the mechanic, daisuke, the mechanic's intern, jimmy, our co-pilot, and of course you know anya, the nurse!" curly paused, "and we're glad we have interns here on our ship, we hope that you both can learn something new in the way!" you looked up at him, we? you thought. you'd just be useless on the ship.
you'd probably just walk around like a stupid stray cat. you sighed at the thought. "yes, yeah...thank you. it's nice to have a reliable captain, too."
curly smiled at the compliment, scratching his neck as he let out laugh. "oh, it's just my job. just gotta do my work as the captain," he chuckled softly, ruffling your hair and on instinct you slap his hand away pretty hard. YOU STUPID FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. you thought, panicking as he looked at you with shocked.
"i-...i'm so sorry..." you held your tears in, already feeling that uncomfortable guilt feeling on your stomach, you felt nauseous. "i didn't mean to! i just don't-" you broke to tears. how pathetic can you be, [name]?
"oh gosh, it's okay! it was a hard slap but it didn't hurt a bit to me," he caressed his muscular hand that got slapped away, it does stings a bit. he thought, but he didn't want to hurt your feelings any further. now he knows two things about you- 'don't touch her.' and 'she is sensitive.' he was so confused on how to comfort you without touching, so he only apologized with words.
"it was my fault, really. i mean with a bodybuilder body you must feel uncomfortable, and you're a lotta shorter than me and you must be uh, scared. but i promise, i don't mean a single harm. i will never harm a woman, ever. i swear on my life."
god you felt guilty now. his apologise speech was too much, he even swore to his life. "no, i was, i mean, i should be the one who's sorry. i'm the one who slapped your hand away- and it did hurt, doesn't it...? don't try to lie," you replied, gesturing him to show his hand. he only grinned nervously, showing his right hand and lifting his sleeve, a red mark that looks like it stung.
you cursed under your breath. you've hurted captain. take responsibility and heal him. you're the nurse's intern, aren't you? your thoughts told you, you wiped your tears away.
"captain, do you mind if i touch you? i mean, heal the mark i left on you- no, not in a dirty way!" you crouched down, burying your face on your knees and felt your face getting red out of embarrassment. all the words you said can be misunderstood.
"no, no. i don't mind! it's okay, don't worry. plus i can see how a nurse's intern work," he crouched infront of you, trying to reassure you to go back and stand up again. you looked at him, while he let out a small smile. "thanks, captain..."
you felt guilty, having people to comfort you over and over and over again. you don't know why you were such a crybaby. your father was a soldier, while your mother was an independent woman. but you, how'd you end up being their daughter? they must have switched babies. you don't deserve being their child, you don't deserve the love you got from your father. you don't deserve any of this. all the support you got from everyone was pointless. you'd still be the crybaby. nothing's gonna change it.
you sighed, standing up. "let me see your hand, captain." you murmured as he lended you his hand.
as you pressed the mark, he hissed in pain. god. you forgot your strength. maybe it was from your father. you sighed softly, pulling him to the health unit room, applying a cold compress on his hand. as you worked on his slap mark, he stared at you, observing your features. he was too old for you, he knew it. but atleast, you weren't underage, right?
he shook off the thought, silently facepalming himself. he'll look so stupid, having a crush on a young adult when he's a mature, grown ass adult. on the otherside he didn't care. what's wrong with you curly?!?! he mentally punched himself.
after 4 minutes of silence, you finally spoke up. "there. i hope it doesn't hurt anymore," you said, putting away the cold compress, caressing the mark thats still slightly visible, but it's not as red as before.
"i'm really sorry, captain. i didn't mean to hurt you, i swear it was an instinct -" you tried to explain yourself, letting go of his hand, scared of making him uncomfortable if you held his hand too long.
"no, no. it's okay, darlin'. you just left a little mark, it is fine." curly smiled, wanting to ruffle your hair but not wanting you to slap his hand away again, but then curly frowned. "what happened to you that made your body react so badly?" your body shivered at the thought when that man touched your body.
everywhere.
a/n: made this on wattpad like months ago and its...cringy