Just a Little Late
Steve Rogers x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: He was only five minutes away, but are those the five minutes which prevents Steve from saving you?
Prompt: “Are you awake? Oh my god I was so worried, holy shit I thought I was going to lose you.” - in bold
Warnings: angst cause I can’t help myself, explosion, belief of main character death, blood, severe injuries to reader, hospitals, happy ending
Word count: 3.3k
A/N: I wrote this for @moongoddessmox’s 2.1k + Valentine’s Day Event! (although it’s by far not your traditional fluffy Valentine’s fic)
This was specifically written for/dedicated to my bestie, my angst sister, @babybluebuck I love you Bee, I hope you know just how much of a treasure you are ❤️ Happy Valentine’s Day my love (you know me too well to know I ain’t giving you a fluffy Valentine’s fic, got to endure the angst first)
Dividers by @maysdigitalarts
Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Library
The illuminated GPS in the centre console confirmed their ETA was five minutes.
A measly 300 seconds.
“I’m going in.” Steve’s heart plummeted through the leather seat of the SUV.
“We’re almost there. Wait for backup.” He demanded into the comms nestled in his ear. His grip on the steering wheel tightened, turning his knuckles white, his foot pressing the accelerator even closer to the floor of the car.
He felt the piercing, knowing, stare of Natasha from the passenger seat boring into his skull, but he refused to acknowledge the connotation of it with a return glance, instead keeping his eyes intently focussed on the road.
He should have been with you. Well, maybe that was a bit of a stretch as it was conditional on your acceptance, but if he hadn't chickened out of asking you to Valentine’s Day dinner like he had been building the courage for the week prior, you might be currently at your favourite restaurant enjoying a few laughs, and if he was lucky maybe a kiss as well, instead of making it to the laboratory before the rest of the team.
“Cap, you know you’d do it if you were in my position.” Your austere voice stated through the transmission.
Steve didn’t have a response to this. Even though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, you were right. You were always right. He wouldn't hesitate to run into danger without a second thought for his own safety at the chance to save a life.
The protectiveness which always surged within him when you were around was now exploding like fireworks in his chest. He knew you were more than capable of defending yourself, yet the thought of you entering that building alone, facing unknown threats, with no one to watch your back, had him almost paralysed with fear at the wheel.
His instincts were telling him something was off.
“She can handle herself.” Nat assured after a minute of silence within the car.
Before speaking, Steve navigated a corner at high speed, expertly turning the wheel and using the brakes in tandem so he didn’t crash into the oncoming traffic in the adjacent lanes. He slammed the accelerator to the floor again once they were on the straightened road.
“I know that.”
“We’ll be there in a couple minutes, then she won’t be alone.” Nat’s voice was too tranquil for Steve’s liking - it completely contrasted the severe anxiety swirling in his chest. After a long beat, she spoke again. “Look, I know you’re in love with her, but-”
“What? No I’m not!” Dire denial coated his words but Nat simply scoffed, she had always told him he was a bad liar.
“You say that as if you don’t follow her around like a lost puppy and look at her like she holds your entire world in her hands.” He could hear the smirk in her voice, which irritated him. It was now the second time in as many minutes that another avenger had proved him wrong, rendering him speechless. “Why do you think I stopped trying to set you up?”
Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t noticed.
He either spent his time with you, or thinking about you, perhaps he had been too distracted to observe the change in Nat’s behaviour.
“Once we finish up here, you should ask her out. I’m pretty sure she has a thing for you too if the way her face lights up when you walk into a room is anything to go by.”
Steve didn’t even have time to register Nat’s words, nor the way warmth would have spread through his entire chest at the notion that you reciprocated even a fraction of his feelings for you - a sound as loud as a sonic boom temporarily deafened him.
The laboratory, which they were now only a minute away from and could see directly in front of them, quaked harshly, warm orange fire and smoke rapidly billowed out of the structure as the blast of the explosion reverberated through the entire city, knocking their vehicle into a spin.
Steve stared at the crumbling building once he regained control of the car, a hole the size of a bowling ball ripped through his chest when he thought about you, the person who he wanted to protect above all else, being alone as the detonation went off, your fragile body tossed around by the explosion as he helplessly watched on as the building when up in flames.
“Y/N, do you copy?” Steve’s heart thumped ferociously against his rib cage. All air ejected from his lungs and suddenly the effort to take even a single breath seemed excruciating. The infuriating crackle of static from the comms only tightened the burning constriction in his chest, and for much longer than was safe, completely forgot he was in control of a vehicle travelling at a speed double the limit.
His hands trembled against the steering wheel. With his super senses, he could feel every torturous microsecond pass that you didn’t reply, frames of time in slow motion ticking over as the car sped along as he was all but powerless to observe the disintegrating building, which you were somewhere within.
If only you had waited for them prior to entering.
“Y/N?” This time his voice was gentler, pleading, begging that he would miraculously hear your soothing voice responding on the other end, even though the logical part of his brain told him it wouldn’t come.
And though he wanted to be proved wrong yet again, this time he wasn't.
Frustration and desolation reached boiling point in Steve’s chest, resulting in him swearing loudly, so vehemently that Natasha actually jumped in her seat beside him. Taking the small device from his ear, he crushed it between his bare fingers before letting the fragments drop to the floor.
Natasha took a shaky breath before speaking.
“Our mission is still Dr Cho and her research.” Steve couldn’t believe Nat, who had spent more time with you than anyone, besides perhaps himself, was completely ignoring the rather obvious fact that you were in that building too.
He couldn’t find it in himself to care about some damn research. Nor about some mission which he knew others could focus on completing. He needed to find you. That was his mission.
“Nat if you think I’m not bringing Y/N/N out with me-”
“Steve, I know. But Y/N knew what she was signing up for. The assignment is the research - that’s what she went in there looking for.” It was now Steve’s turn to scoff - the knowledge that you had been put in danger, hurt, probably killed, for the sole reason of finding this research, made him resent it and, if possible, care even less about finding it.
The vehicle came to a screeching stop beside the building. Steve put the car in park, pulled up the handbrake but didn’t even take the time to turn off the ignition before essentially leaping out the open door.
He was coming to find you. Consequences and his own safety be damned.
He just prayed he wasn’t too late.
* * *
The first thing you remember was spluttering as thick, particle polluted air entered your lungs.
When you opened your eyes, you found the world spinning. A persistent ringing filled your ears as you tried to focus your pupils and balance yourself on the debris-covered floor which was swaying like a boat on rough seas.
Your stomach churned, a nauseous feeling rising up your digestive system as you futilely attempted to steady yourself. Searching your foggy brain, for the life of you you couldn’t remember where exactly you were or why you were here, in the remnants of what looked like it had at one point been a medical laboratory, but was now covered in rubble and slabs of concrete from the destroyed ceiling.
On hands and knees, you started crawling to where beams of sunlight shone between the wreckage, the exposed skin beneath your torn clothing began to sting as fresh cuts mixed with the dirt and shattered glass littering the floor. Through your dizzy haze, and the dusty cloud of debris, you could see someone approaching at a run.
You’d recognise that fiery red hair anywhere.
A sense of calm washed over you despite the devastating scene. Natasha Romanoff always knew what to do - she had an uncanny ability to form a plan on the fly, escaping danger at an almost comical eleventh-hour and brush it off after the fact as if nothing even remotely disconcerting happened. But as she neared, all you could notice was the unfamiliar panic consuming her eyes.
Her mouth was moving, but the only sound you could hear was tinnitus, the ringing so unwelcomely repetitive it was making your head throb. Or perhaps, you considered, that might be a concussion caused by whatever explosion had seemingly occurred before your memory kicked in.
Bending down beside you, Nat’s hands quickly found their way to your abdomen in what you initially thought was an attempt to pull you to your feet, but you soon realised was for a much more dire reason.
White hot panic tightened your chest as you looked down to where Nat now applied strenuous pressure, observing a rusty metal shard protruding from your abdomen. Attributing the previous numbness to the adrenaline running through your system, as soon as your eyes landed on the foreign object puncturing your tender skin, and the blood spilling out of the wound at an alarming rate, your body seized in pain.
Nat caught you in her arms before you had the opportunity to face plant into the ground. One of her dainty hands framed the shard of metal, applying force in an attempt to stem your bleeding, as the other snaked under your arm to keep you upright, carefully stepping around the wreckage, heading towards the sunlight outside.
But you knew without some help, you wouldn’t be able to escape the crumbling building quickly enough. However, the persistent ringing in your ears was slowly subsiding, allowing you to now discern the blare of sirens approaching.
Maybe all hope wasn’t lost yet.
She brushed something out of your hair, as you neared the exit of the room you had woken up in, and for the first time you felt a trickle of blood run over your temple and down your cheek.
“Helps’ coming. Just hold on for me.” Nat implored, even though you were positive she believed you couldn’t hear her. She now bore essentially all your weight, each step slower than the last as you struggled to maintain an upright stance.
“Nat, have you found her?” Even though your hearing was still somewhat compromised, you could discern the palpable distress in the familiar voice.
“Not yet!” Nat yelled back. “But I’ve got Y/N. You go find Cho.”
Ignoring her instruction completely, Steve Rogers in his patriotic blue suit rushed into view. When his gaze fell upon you, all but helpless to hold yourself up, the soft recognition in his eyes peeking out behind the fear and something of relief could have fooled you into thinking you were the ‘her’ he was referring to.
For a moment the crippling pain coursing through your body numbed and all you could focus on was how his worried blue eyes roamed your frame, and how he bit the inside of his lip in a way, which you knew him well enough to know, he was fighting back tears.
The sight of him always brought a serenity which you only found in his presence, and your heart, though perhaps now was struggling to pump rhythmically with your loss of blood, skipped a beat in your chest for another reason entirely.
Dropping his shield with a clatter, his large arms scooped you up bridal style, giving Nat a beseeching look which you missed as you pressed your face into his rock hard chest.
“Besides the puncture to her abdomen, she had glass in her hair, she probably took a knock to the head and may have a concussion. She’s also likely blown her eardrums because she can’t hear anything.” Nat rattled off, seemingly content with letting Steve take you even though it contradicted her directive from earlier.
Steve then took off at a run navigating the maze of the wreckage. Something told you you should correct Nat’s words from earlier and inform him you could in fact hear, but then a shiver ran down your spine, your entire body now felt absent of any heat, and instead you curled into Steve’s body to find all the warmth you could.
Darkness crept into the edges of your vision, your eyes unintentionally unfocussing as you felt Steve’s grip on you tighten. You coughed violently after inhaling the sooty smoke filling the air, and it was difficult not to think about all the pungent chemicals in the lab you were breathing in which were potentially much more deadly than the wound in your stomach.
As Steve rounded a corner, turning to head another direction when your path was blocked by a slab of concrete, numbness enveloped your entire body. The searing pain of metal lacerating your insides had softened to a dull ache as you started to drift in and out of consciousness.
“No, no, no, keep your eyes open for me. Please Y/N.” But your eyelids felt so heavy. It would be so easy just let them flutter shut one last time. To fall into a blissful sleep and let the darkness devour you. “I love you, please, I can’t lose you. Not like this.”
Those words pulled you from the engulfing darkness back into the light. They were new and foreign to you, definitely something you weren’t expecting to hear, but they evoked a blooming delight in your chest which left you breathless. You weren’t sure if it was the combination of a concussion and being so close to death that had you imagining a fantasy of what you would most like to hear in your final moments, or if they were actually real.
Blinding light consumed your vision as Steve burst out of the building, and rushed over to an ambulance. All you could do was look up earnestly at his anxious features as he placed you on the gurney.
“Can you hear me? I love you, I’ve always loved you, please.” Tears were trickling down his cheeks now, but you didn’t have the energy to reach up and wipe them away. “I need you to know I love you.”
Even though your entire body felt ice cold, your chest burst with warm joy. It will have taken your death for him to build the courage to tell you, but you could go to your grave knowing the man you loved reciprocated your feelings.
“I love you too.” You croaked just before your world went black.
* * *
A pounding ache in your forehead stirred you awake. A monotonous rhythmic beep from beside you resounded through the hospital room, which was the only other sound audible except the faint voices coming from the hallway, diffusing through the ajar door. Even in your hazy post-anesthetic come-to, you could recognise the voices as your friends.
The faint scent of your favourite flowers hit you next, noticing a bouquet of them by the window as you continued to take in your surroundings, a note, which poked out between the petals, had Steve’s distinctly messy handwriting scrawled on the side facing you.
Your heart swelled at the thought of him and his kind gesture which triggered the recollection of the last thing you remembered before waking in the hospital.
The laboratory.
The explosion.
The confession.
God the confession. How you had longed, but never expected, to hear those words from him for months, if not years.
All it took was a building coming down on top of you for him to finally reveal it.
A gentle knock on the door pulled you out of your reverie.
“Are you awake?” Steve whispered, poking his gorgeous face around the edge of the door, those stunning blue eyes of his met your own and the smile which bloomed on his face at the recognition that you were indeed awake made your heart skip a beat.
“Oh my god I was so worried, holy shit I thought I- err we- were going to lose you.” He exclaimed as he hurried to your bedside.
“It’s gonna take a lot more than an explosion and a building collapsing on me for you to lose me, Rogers.” Your voice was hoarse with underuse. A blush crept up his cheeks until his cheekbones burned bright red, and he let out a relieved chuckle.
“Don’t know why I was so worried then… it’s not like you almost died in my arms or something.” There was a joking tone to his voice, the cheerfulness of which didn’t quite reach his eyes.
You reached for his hands and started fiddling with his fingers, in turn Steve’s thumb slowly drew circles over the smooth skin on the back of your hand, careful to avoid snagging the IV in your arm.
“You remember what happened?” He asked more tentatively than would be usual for him. His eyes were hopeful, yet anxious. The blue now closer to a stormy sky rather than their usual baby blue.
“Do you mean with the detonation, or you panickingly confessing your love for me?” At that moment he paused fidgeting with your hands and looked you directly in the eye, which he had been too nervous to do beforehand.
“You remember anything after that?”
After that? That was a little foggy, but how important could it be? He told you he loved you, that he couldn’t lose you, what could be more important than that? You didn’t need to shake your head for him to know you couldn’t remember, the perplexed expression gave him the answer in itself.
“You said you loved me too.” It was your turn for your cheeks to heat up. It wasn’t that you didn’t love him, because you did, but you hadn’t remembered confessing your most closely guarded secret.
“Well, that’s because I do.” His eyes sparkled as you intertwined your fingers with his.
“You do?”
“Yeah Stevie, I love you. I’ve always loved you.” The words felt so natural on the tip of your tongue, and you couldn’t wait to keep saying them for as long as he wanted to hear them.
He leaned over the railing of the hospital bed, tilted your chin up with his index finger, and captured your lips in a kiss. Although you were confined to a bed, the desperation and love shown in the way his lips moved against yours was unmatched - he had almost lost you, and you now knew unequivocally that he never intended to let you go again.
When he finally pulled back, the smile he beamed was as bright as the sun.
“You know, I was going to ask you to be my valentine this year, but I chickened out. I feel like an idiot, if I knew how you felt I would have asked you, not just yesterday, but a long time ago.”
“Well how about I make a deal with you right now…” You picked up his hand again, and placed a small kiss to his knuckles. “I’ll be your valentine every year for the rest of my life, if you promise to never stop kissing me like that.”
“I like the sound of that.”
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