#mps vent

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jesus christ, every time i run into a new simply plural alternative it's either generative ai supportive (no thanks) or not secure at all (fucking hell) or not available on iphone (fuck me)

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because, historically, it goes well when people tell their parents to get therapy

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switching out while working like it doesnt give me the biggest sleepies known to man. im usually an anxiety response but my role miiiiight be changing. which is to say not its not better. its just means i deal with the feelings when our mom makes us feel like garbage.

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it really sucks to have so much faith in the healing of a parent only to get one of the rudest reminders how i was traumatized into this state by that very parent.

i bragged about how much improvement they made. i boasted that they were sooo much better than when i was a kid. I was just starting to feel safe again. in a way, thats still semi-true.

but we're clearly not past the emotional and verbal manipulation...we're still the neglected kid. we're still ignored.

seems like this is not a new leaf. just the backside of the old one.