Thing is, Tony grew up brilliant, rich, and with little discipline due to absent parents. That absence, by the way, is likely why he craves attention. Tony is accustomed to getting what he wants. He only respects men if they prove themselves. He only respects women if they prove themselves and are off-limits/give him limitations (think Pepper, Natasha, Maria, and Mrs. Barton). It’s no coincidence that Pepper, the one who tells him “no,” who demands he act a certain way, is the woman he falls in love with. But after everything that has happened, Tony’s realized that he needs boundaries. Unfortunately, unlike Steve, Tony isn’t as familiar with good vs. bad authority. He’s a genius, yes, but people skills aren’t his forte. Steve has been under bad leadership. He knows it when he sees it.