Mrs. Beetles looked down at the baby, his tiny chest rising and falling with every breath. Her finger gently combed over his growing tuft of golden hair, and she smiled. This had been worth it.
She lifted her gaze away from the sleeping tot, and her smile dimmed as she took in the debris of the room. The mobile her mum had bought laid snapped in half upon the floor, bits of wooden kangaroo strewn everywhere. The closet door was kicked in and an avalanche of baby clothes were tumbling out. A monkey wrench had somehow gotten lodged in the wall, tearing the butterfly wallpaper Sid had so lovingly finished putting up, and over in the corner, a dirty nappy was making rather squishy sounds as it slid across the floor.
Aly Beetles looked down to her child in the crib again. Wallabee wiggled in his sleep and coiled himself into her hand.
…Yeah, still worth it.
“Rambunctious marsupial, aren’t ya?” Aly whispered as she leaned into the crib. She blinked away exhaustion as she watched her child sleep. “That’s what you are: my lil marsupial.”
Wallabee gurgled.
The room eased into a state of silence as Aly continued to watch Wallabee sleep. The more she observed, the more she found her own drowsiness biting at her consciousness. Her eyelids grew heavy, and she used her free arm to muffle a yawn. She had to be extremely cautious, lest the entire evening spent tuckering Wally out be wasted.
The ticking of the clock grew more present as she turned her gaze to it. Her mind wandered to Sid; it would be quite some time before he finished his shift at Hungry Jack’s. Then he would be home for at least three hours before getting ready for his second shift. Aly sighed.
Wallabee whimpered in his sleep, bringing Aly’s attention back to him. She nudged her hand against his cheek and he calmed.
“Got a big day tomorrow,” Aly murmured, deciding to rest her head against the railing of the crib. “We’re gonna go to the park and meet your big cousin, Rabe. Won’t that be fun?”
Wallabee snored.
“Yeah,” Aly yawned. If she rested her eyes for just a few seconds, then that should be fine. Just fine. “That’ll be fun…”
Wallabee’s eye cracked open as a rumbling noise shook his entire crib. He peered up to see his mother hunched over the crib, drool from her mouth dripping onto the railing as she snored. Wallabee made a quiet fuss as her next snore rattled the crib again, and he decided that something had to be done so he could get some cruddy sleep.
His pudgy hand reached around his pillow until he found his pacifier. He rolled over onto his tummy and groggily made his way up to his mum. He made a series of gibberish grumbles as he stuffed the pacifier into her mouth, stifling the snores. Soon Aly’s snoring was replaced bybut much more manageable suckling sounds.
That taken care of, Wallabee returned to his pillow, and coiled back around his mother’s hand before returning to his dreams.
--
The night was calm amidst the Outback. A tiny lizard scurried across the cold ground hoping to find warmth. But abruptly, it stopped, raising its head. The ground beneath began to vibrate and heat up at an alarming rate. Without waiting to see the outcome of the unnatural disruption to the quiet, the lizard darted away as an orb of light burst out of thin air.
With a thud, a bulky-clad figure dropped onto the scorched earth. The joints of their plated armor clinked together as they stood, wobbling around with the unsteady gait of coming back from a night of one too many root beers. After stumbling for another moment, the armored figure shook their head, and slowly took in their surroundings.
The figure’s hands flexed, before holding up and punching in a series of codes onto their gauntlet. They then rose their head to the horizon, visor glowing ominously in the night.
Ever slightly, the figure started to shake until they could not contain themselves. Then without warning they broke out in a fit of wild laughter, throwing regard to the wind as they performed a tiny dance in the middle of the field. This childish display continued for several minutes before the person finally stopped and composed themselves.
They reached to their chest and shrugged off a duffel bag that fell to the ground with a muffled thump. The figure crouched and began digging around inside, pulling out various weapons, lasers, torture devices, and other miscellanea before they found what they were looking for and raised it into the glimmering moonlight:
A pink rainbow monkey doll?
The figure sat the doll onto the ground and took a few cautious steps back. They fumbled with a remote strapped to their belt and flipped the switch as they aimed it toward the doll.
Suddenly, the rainbow money trembled and began to shoot up in size. In moments, the doll towered over the person by a good few feet, and its pink plush fur hardened into a neon-like metallic armor. Its inviting smile was replaced by a sleek, cold muzzle, and the once cutesy-wutesy sewn eyes became lifeless red dots that seemed keen to peer into one’s very soul.
“Greetings, USER NOT REGISTERED,” the behemoth boomed in a mechanical voice. “Thank you for your purchase of the Rainbow Monkey 5EVER--because FOREVER isn’t enough to wuv and serve you!” It finished the greeting with a sing-song voice before tilting its head. “How may this model assist you? Do you require hugs?”
The silent figure stared at the robot without speaking before glancing sideways and noticing something to their right.
“Go,” the figure said, the words coming through a voice modulator spitting out a harsh tone. “Hug that rock.”
The Rainbow Monkey 5EVER turned and set its sights on a stray boulder about half its size. Without delay, it stomped over to the rock and proceeded to wrap its massive arms around the boulder, it’s face nuzzling against the surface.
The armored figure pointed the remote in their hand and turned the dial.
“WARNING,” the Rainbow Monkey 5EVER stated, “user is attempting to set Hug Intensity to Eleventy-Hundred.” The robot glanced in the figure’s direction. “Do you wish to proceed?”
“Get on with it!” the owner grumbled as they turned the dial again.
“This model does not recommend this course of action, but it loves you too much to disobey!”
The figure watched as the Rainbow Monkey 5EVER lifted to the boulder off the ground. Its arms increased the pressure of the hug, and soon the boulder began to crumble. The hands of the robot dug into the rock, and fissures and cracks began to creep up the surface.
It wasn’t long before the boulder was reduced to pebbles and dust within the robot’s deathly, cuddly grip.
“Yes!” the figure laughed, pumping their fists as the robot carried on. “This is just perfect! I can’t wait to see the look on that brat’s face when he—”
“Does USER NOT REGISTERED wish to be hugged next?”
“N-No!” the figure screamed, as they ducked under the Rainbow Monkey’s encroaching arms. “Get away from me. I don’t want your hugs!”
Rainbow Monkey 5EVER visibly deflated at this news. Ignoring it, the figure went back to the panel on their gauntlet, entering a new set of codes. Rainbow Monkey 5EVER’s eyes flashed as new data was downloaded into its processor.
“Don’t you worry, though,” the figure said, a dark chuckle bubbling up from their throat. “I know just the person who wants the biggest, tightest hug in the world.”
“Information received,” the robot boomed out in its sing-song tone as it turned east. “This model shall proceed to hug WALLABEE BEETLES.”
You know too well these two, no matter the headcanons or universes, did this to Joey as soon as possible! ALL TWINS DO!
Poor Joey having a crisis over there...
I thought of you when I read this quote from "Seeking Philbert Woodbead ( A Madcap Regency Romance ) (The Fairweather Sisters Book 2)" by Anya Wylde - "Mrs Beatle’s book advised women to be prepared for everything. Never, she had written, depend on a man. Men, she wrote, were ornaments that one pulled out on special occasions or while spring cleaning. The rest of the time they should be safely stored away in either the library or the study depending on where they looked best." Start reading this book for free:
