So I said I would come back to this and I meant it.
Could you consider for one damned moment that there is a reason I treat Marnie differently to you?
The first time I ever spoke to you, Ruby, it was to offer support because you seemed to be having a bad time over something similar to my own experiences. However, when anything involving my own issues has been brought up since, you have been nothing but disrespectful. You push emotional boundaries even when you’re told you’re crossing a line. You refuse to take serious matters seriously. You run your mouth beyond the point of sense so that I will never trust you with sensitive information. You expect everything to be given to you, everyone else’s time and energy and attention, and you give nothing back except crude jokes and cattiness and ignorance. Your idea of ‘friendship’ is one-sided and draining.
Marnie, on the other hand, pays attention to my behaviour. Talks me down when I get worked up. Doesn’t push limits I put up. Shows gratitude for people who reach out to her. And does not make every conversation about her personal problems. Marnie gives energy back. I do not mind sitting with her while she cries on my shoulder because I know she would be there for me in the way I need if I needed it, and could be trusted with anything she might learn in those moments. The relationship is mutual. Mutually beneficial. Mutually supportive. I will settle for nothing less.
I will never be the kind of friend you want. I can think of only one person who would, and she’s been dead for three years.
Until you change how you treat other people, none of your relationships will change.