I told my wife to meet me at the Halloween Street Party in a Spiderman costume. I did not tell her that I would appear as Spiderman’s lover, The Black Cat. She walked right past me and didn’t recognise me. At the same time, I was too busy getting photographed by fellow revellers to notice my wife walk past me. She didn’t divorce me after all. However, she claims she doesn’t want to join me in any other events unless I play a man (how boring). The challenges so far: Trying drive in high heels; not touching my face; not touching my face while preening this high maintainance wig; keeping my chin up and not being afraid. Little girls seem to love me the most. Perhaps I am a (highly questionable) role model. Mental note - don’t hang around too late at night... the more drunk guys get, the more likely they will start to get abusive when they are clued into your gender bending. What is with that? Do they feel insecure?