Summary: things are heating up and Matsu has some surprises up his sleeve..
Read it on AO3 - or read it here:
Although the touching of privates was kind of the point of sex — one of the main ones, anyway — the way theirs squished and poked together right now felt, to be very honest, weird. Haphazard. Uncomfortable. Judging by Matsu’s fervent kissing, it didn’t seem to bother him, but Ume wanted to make them. not touch. Or touch differently.
As if possessed he reached between them and before he knew it he was holding one dick in each hand. He broke the kiss and stood there staring at the contents of his hands for a second before he figured the best step forward would probably be to start rubbing those cocks off.
He did so and with slow motions he felt his own grow fully erect. Matsu’s was already leaking. Ume's heart beat against his ribs, as if it was trying to break out.
Matsu thumped his forehead against Ume’s chest and sighed. His fingers pressed into the skin of Ume’s sides like he needed to hold himself steady.
After a solid moment of Ume jerking both of them in silence — apart from sound of their soft and shallow breaths — Matsu gasped quietly and grasped the hand that held his hard-on.
“Wait,” he exhaled and weakly pushed Ume's hand away.
Afraid he'd done something wrong, Ume let go at once. With a twitch of his cock he saw a thick thread of precum, that had oozed from Matsu's dick onto his hand, stretch between them. It drooped down and broke when Matsu stepped away and grabbed his futon from behind the screen in the corner of the room.
He dumped the still folded futon on the floor, against the wall.
“Sit down,” there was an attempt to sound commanding, but the arousal in Matsu’s voice, eyes and flushed cheeks rather nullified it. Still, Ume obeyed. He seated himself on the tatami mat and lounged against the futon. He probably looked far more nonchalant than he felt, with his knees tucked up and — as Matsu stepped in between them before kneeling down — his legs spread.
Matsu placed his hands on the futon next to Ume’s sides. Ume reached for a kiss, and he got one, but it was brief. Nice and sloppy, but brief. With haste, Matsu advanced to Ume’s neck and chest and.. nipple. He kissed, then licked it with quick flicks of his tongue.
Ume had expected Matsu to put his mouth to work a bit further down and was genuinely a bit baffled by this course of events. It's not that he wasn't familiar with the practice. He himself had done this to his wife before, fairly often. He still often dreamed of the softness of her plump breasts, and of the way she would squirm and moan when he cupped, squeezed, licked, bit and sucked on them. As far as he remembered she’d never returned the favour, though, or if she did, it must not have been very memorable to him.
The sensation was not unpleasant and the unexpectedness of it did kind of turn Ume on, but he didn’t think he would request it next time he had sex with someone.
Matsu shifted his weight to one arm and with the other caressed Ume’s erection, almost thoughtlessly. The soft teasing touches made Ume shudder. It was like having an itch that just needed a good rough scratching, and then tickling it instead. Part of him wanted to slap away Matsu’s hand away and finish the job himself, but at the same time, he was now so hard that it hurt. In a good way.
The nipple play contributed to this, Ume noticed. Through Matsu’s efforts, they had flushed and puffed up and stiffened, and — much to Ume’s surprise — become kind of sensitive. So Ume resisted his urges and didn’t intervene. Matsu was the expert here. He’d probably done things Ume would never have considered; things that could blow his fucking mind if he just let it happen.
More and more, Ume felt tiny jolts go through his body. Some of which extended to his erection, and made it wiggle out of Matsu’s light touch. He really was trying to give in to it. But then, before he realised it, a horny, and nonetheless unintentionally irritated groan escaped his mouth.
Matsu huffed a silent laugh into Ume’s chest.
“Fine,” he smirked, “I'll move on.”
“Yes, please,” Ume grunted. He almost told Matsu that it was fine, “don’t stop,” because it had the desired effect, right? He was aroused as hell. But only now that Matsu stopped with the dick caresses and the tit sucking did Ume realise he’d been digging his fingers into his legs. He might have been just a little overstimulated.
As Matsu trailed kisses down Ume’s belly, Ume couldn't help admiring his nipples, left glistening and swollen and honestly.. kind of lonely without Matsu’s mouth. He tentatively reached up his hands and gave them a few careful squeezes. Matsu noticed right before he made it to Ume’s groin, and stopped to observe for a moment, with a something reminiscent of a smile in his eyes.
“This nipple thing..” Ume mused, rubbing a few circles around the tender skin, “Didn’t think it was for me, but..”
Matsu did not let him finish that thought; instead, he shifted Ume’s cock upright a little and started suckling precum off the tip.
Ume tilted his head back with a gasp, “Sshit..!”
Matsu’s tongue twirled small slippery circles around the head, before taking Ume’s length in his mouth. Ume felt Matsu’s warm, wet tongue glide along the shaft on the way down, and as it went back up, it sort of wiggled against his frenulum.
Ume sighed. Warmth was gathering in his belly; he was not there yet, but it was getting close..
“Matsu.. wait,” he lifted his head, and couldn’t help giggling a bit at what he was about to say, “I can’t cum before I try that fantastic asshole of yours..”
Matsu either didn't hear him or ignored him, but Ume got too distracted by the view to notice, let alone be bummed about it. The leisurely rhythm of Matsu’s bobbing head was almost hypnotic. Ume leaned on one elbow to look at the scene sideways and get a better view.
After a moment, he saw that Matsu’s arm stretched to somewhere between his legs. At first Ume thought he was fondling his own balls, but his hand actually disappeared behind them and moved up and down at a steady pace. Beads of cum flowed out of the tip of his boner, which shot up and every couple of seconds. Ume felt low hums of pleasure vibrate through his length.
“Are you… fingering yourself?”
Once again, there was no sign that Matsu had heard him, but after a moment he slid his mouth up Ume’s shaft one final time and with a soft plop of his mouth, let it flop down on Ume’s belly. He then removed his hand from his back end and positioned both his hands next to Ume’s sides. He leaned forward, asking for a kiss with a cocked head and a half open mouth.
Ume once again marvelled at the huge contrast between Matsu's face right now, and his usual moody or extremely neutral expression. It would have been funny, if Ume hadn't been so incredibly turned on — and if it hadn't been so very hot.
A horny kind of cute aggression was prompting Ume to smash their faces together at that point, but he took control of himself and instead cradled Matsu’s face with both hands, before connecting their lips. Matsu nudged Ume’s mouth open wider, licking inside and as soon as he did so, he dipped his hips and started rocking them back and forth with drawn out motions, rubbing his dick against Ume’s. Within mere moments the both of them were panting and moaning with increasing passion.
“I want you inside of me,” Matsu muttered and promptly stood up, stepped over Ume’s legs so that his feet were now planted next to Ume’s hips, and crouched down. He bent forward to give Ume a quick peck of a kiss and as he did so he grabbed Ume's cock and pressed the tip against his opening. Leaning back again, it slid inside with ease. As Matsu’s hot and slick insides enveloped his cock, Ume felt his head tilt back and heard himself groan with pleasure. A sound he hadn’t made in a long time.
“Ume,” it was impressive how Matsu still managed to sound annoyed with a voice that was also dripping with lust, “be quiet.”
“I make no promises,” Ume grinned, but the initial overwhelm had already shifted to a more bearable feeling of gradually mounting bliss. Without realising it, he'd been clutching at Matsu’s upper arms, squeezing so hard he was afraid he was going to leave bruises. Searching for something other to do with his hands, he saw Matsu’s cock, looking so hard and dripping with precum, and so desperate for release. As he extended his hand, Matsu intercepted it.
“No, leave it” he said, sharply. In a softer, almost pleading tone he added, “Please…”
Fuck… Ume didn't get why, but Matsu was into it, and holy shit, did it make him look lewd. Now Ume really wanted to touch him. That's when he remembered nipples.
He put his index and middle fingers in his mouth to wet them and reached up to Matsu’s chest. When he found the two, already perky nipples, a low and breathy “ah” tumbled from Matsu’s lips. Ume took this permission to play with them. And he was rewarded for taking initiative; as he massaged and pinched the sensitive little bumps, Matsu’s breath hitched, his cock leaked like crazy and twitched, his fingers dug into Ume’s chest; he was definitely enjoying this much more than Ume had.
“Fuck,” Matsu whimpered. He dropped his head in between his tense shoulders, and with erratic little jerks of his hips, he came all over Ume’s belly. Ume stared at him in amazement. He’d never seen anyone climax without their genitals being touched before, but this looked as pleasurable as a regular orgasm — if not: more.
Matsu kept riding Ume while shooting his load, although slower and less deliberate. With every splurt, his hole gave Ume’s cock a rousing little squeeze.
Even when nothing more came out, he didn’t stop moving. In fact, he started speeding up again. His movements were now irregular, though, and Ume was getting desperately close to ejaculating himself. He seized Matsu’s hips, holding them in place while he thrust his own up at the rhythm he desired.
With the responsibility taken away from him, Matsu kind of slumped over and rested his forehead on Ume’s chest, breathing heavy. Ume let out a small and embarrassing moan with each rapid thrust, until he felt like he was boiling over.
He groaned — as quiet as he could — as he came hard inside Matsu, who wrapped his arms around Ume’s neck and emitted barely audible moans into his chest. Ume slowed down his thrusts and started rolling his hips, savouring the blissful sensation that spread throughout his body.
“This feels so fucking good…” he grunted.
After a moment his body went from rigid ecstasy to tingling jelly and he could do nothing but let his limbs sprawl out in all directions. His short, exhausted bursts of laughter sounded weird through his ringing ears.
He glanced down at Matsu, who by now lay flat on Ume’s broad chest, looking absolutely spent.
“You alright?” Ume asked. It was actually a bit of a concerning sight.
A soft smile appeared on Matsu’s lips, “Yeah..”
Wait. He looked.. relaxed.
Ume snorted at this realization, “This is is how you unwind, huh?”
“Mm,” Matsu hummed. His breathing gradually became deep and steady. It sounded like...
“You asleep?”
No reply.
“You're asleep,” Ume laughed quietly to himself.
This felt good. Not just the buzzing glow of the orgasm, but Matsu’s warmth and weight on his chest as well. Ume could stay like that forever, had it not been for the fact that he lay half on the floor and half on the still folded futon. More importantly; he felt like he was covered in cum.
He felt bad about waking Matsu up.. He was light enough that Ume could just pick him up and put him aside, and then lay out the futon properly, but the thought of cleaning the cum off Matsu’s sleeping ass weirded him out.
So he gently patted Matsu’s cheek, “Yo, wake up.”
Matsu made a displeased noise.
“Don’t be like that,” Ume said sternly, “if we get this over with quick, you’ll get to go back to sleep in a jiffy.”
Ume wrapped his arms around Matsu and rolled the both of them to their sides, depositing Matsu on the floor next to the futon. With heavy limbs and a still hazy head Ume clambered to his feet, found a cloth and dunked it and wrung it out in the bucket of water that stood by the door. He wiped clean his belly as he shuffled over to Matsu, who lay flat on his back with one arm dramatically covering his face.
“Clean yourself up a little.” Ume dangled the cloth in front of Matsu’s face, who peeked at it from underneath his arm with heavy lidded eyes. When he reached for the cloth with his other hand, Ume let it land neatly in Matsu’s limp grasp.
“You’re a menace,” Matsu grumbled.
“You’ll thank me later,” Ume said, carefully reaching for the bedding. He felt so shaky that mild gust of wind might topple him over. Maybe he should've waited a bit longer before getting up.
While Matsu wiped himself off, Ume straightened the futon and grabbed the blanket and pillow. He plumped down, flat on his back, on the futon. He lolled his head to the side and saw Matsu pathetically crawling toward him. Seeing as Ume had claimed the only pillow Matsu owned, he stretched out his arm for Matsu to use as head support. Not that he expected Matsu to accept the offer.
Not only did Matsu accept, he pillowed his head on Ume's shoulder and draped his arm over Ume’s chest. And within seconds of settling down, Matsu was seemingly fast asleep.
Ume vaguely considered getting dressed and going home, after he’d come to his senses a bit more, but… He was so drowsy.. And this felt pretty nice…
He covered himself and Matsu best as he could without shaking Matsu awake — although he soon suspected Matsu would sleep through an earthquake right now. Taking in and processing the sensations of all that had transpired that night, he lay awake a bit longer, before finally drifting off himself.
This chapter got a little too long compared to the others, and I started to struggle with the ending of it, so I decided to post the smut in two parts lol. Hope you enjoy it so far :3
Chapter 5: Sex is a serious matter: got it.
Summary: Ume is convinced by Matsu to take the plunge. It's been so long since he had sex that he doesn't really know what to do anymore, but he lets Matsu guide him.
Read it on AO3 - or read it here:
“Where do we start?”
Ume couldn’t believe those words had actually left his mouth.
“What do you like?” Matsu’s eyes were locked in on Ume’s. Ume averted his gaze up and to the side, as he might when considering his options. His mind was completely blank, though.
“I don’t know, man,” still avoiding his eyes, he now looked down at Matsu’s feet and shook his head, “I haven't had sex in ages. You take the lead.”
Matsu took a step closer to Ume. Although it wasn’t a sudden movement, it made Ume feel unstable. Now that the subject of his focus — Matsu’s feet — were blocked by the rest of Matsu’s body, Ume finally glanced back at Matsu, who looked up at him with a slightly cocked head. Ume vaguely considered leaning in a little, as that seemed the proper thing to when someone with that expression came that close. However, his body and brain weren’t corresponding optimally at the moment, so he just stared.
“Sure you wanna do this?” Matsu’s question was technically gracious, but the delivery contained some exasperation. It was a bit of a relief to Ume that Matsu was not going to be friendlier about this than he would be for any of their regular interactions.
“Uh,” he said, “yeah, it’s just nerves. Keep going.”
Matsu put one hand on Ume’s chest and let it slide up around his neck. Feeling the hand settle there, Ume now instinctively bent forward a little, despite Matsu applying no pressure at all.
Ume had expected Matsu to be a little more forceful and commanding - especially considering how impatient he seemed just a second ago. He might actually have preferred that. To just be engulfed by Matsu. To not have to think about what to do next.
With slow-moving fingers Matsu brushed over the back of Ume’s head, then stretched his neck, reaching up. Ume inhaled the rich smell of sake coming from Matsu’s breath, their lips just a hair’s breadth away from making contact.
Ume felt heady.
Without fully realising it, he closed what little distance was left between them.
For a moment, Ume was only aware of their lips touching and the furious beating of his own heart in his throat. For a brief moment Matsu released the kiss, only to tilt his head in the other direction and come back in with a tiny flick of his tongue.
Ume felt Matsu’s hand move. His thumb caressing Ume's jaw, throat and collar bone on the way down to his chest. The slow, gentle movement, so fluid and confident, stirred something in Ume’s belly. Perhaps a little lower, even. The hand kept moving until it reached around Ume’s back, where it rested lightly.
Leaning back, Matsu detached himself from Ume. Through his daze, Ume noticed Matsu turning first to one side, then to the other, looking down at something. Which is when Ume realised his own hands had been lingering, immobile, in the air next to Matsu’s sides. Ume’s nerves spiked a little. If he was this out of practice when it came to kissing — which he’d done more recently than fucking — how awkward was the sex going to be?
Matsu took the hovering hands and guided them to his hips. He slid his own up Ume’s back again. When Matsu dipped his head back to look him in the eye, it struck Ume how.. open his gaze was; how bright and relaxed. It spread a strange mix of a shiver and a glow through Ume’s body.
“Kiss me,” Matsu hummed.
Ume did as he was told. He leaned all the way forward, pulling Matsu’s hips a little closer. Matsu’s open mouth met his eagerly, his hands clutchig=ng the fabric of Ume’s clothes. He fully went for it now, as Ume had hoped he would; sucking on Ume’s lips, playing with his tongue. Ume just followed along.
Matsu’s hands shifted from Ume’s back to his butt cheeks and squeezed them a little. He did so slow enough that it shouldn’t have been a surprise. Even so: Ume was surprised.
Tucking in his chin, and pushing his forehead against Matsu’s, he broke the kiss and snorted loudly. Right away, Matsu removed his hands and was about to take a step back, but Ume held him tighter.
“No,” he said. He tried to seem apologetic, but Matsu looked so touchy that he had to laugh out loud. “No, that was hot, do it again.”
“Be quiet,” Matsu’s hands shot up and now squeezed Ume’s face cheeks, “everyone can hear you.”
“Right,” Ume sniggered through pursed lips, “shh…”
Matsu was right to warn him, of course. The walls of these houses were thin enough to follow a neighbour’s louder than average conversation almost word for word. However, he got the feeling Matsu’s irritability wasn’t solely caused by Ume being loud. It was because he had laughed in the first place*.*
Sex is a serious matter: got it.
In his experience — limited as it may be compared to Matsu — it really wasn’t; he’d always loved joking and laughing and teasing during sex. In any case, right now he was going to keep following Matsu’s lead.
With a defiant gesture, Matsu grabbed hold of Ume’s ass again, as hard as he could. Ume grunted and started giggling- quietly, of course.
“*That’*s what I’m talking about,” he grinned, and slid his hands over to Matsu’s butt to do the same. Apart from the fabric of Matsu’s clothes, there was barely anything to hold onto, though, and Matsu must’ve known that about himself.
“That must be disappointing,” he said, dryly.
“Wasn’t gonna say anything,” Ume chuckled. He patted Matsu’s skinny butt in an attempt to comfort him, which then made him fully break out into laughter again.
“Motherfucker,” Matsu said and Ume was delighted to see a hint of a smirk form on his face as he did so, “you think my non-existent ass is funny, do you?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Ume chortled.
Matsu’s hands abandoned Ume’s rear end and moved around the back of Ume’s neck again. With little force and no haste he pulled Ume down. Ume offered no resistance, but continued sniggering. When his ear was at the same level as Matsu’s mouth, the small man murmured: “I’ve been told fucking it feels amazing, though…”
Ume couldn’t supress the shiver running down his spine and his helpless giggle was reduced to a dumbstruck chuckle. He felt Matsu’s teeth seize his earlobe and tug on it.
“Ah- hey..!” Ume’s protest was half-hearted at most. He still couldn’t stop grinning and his groin responded rather positively. Matsu had quickly moved on to press wet kisses on Ume’s jawline, while his hands busied themselves with Ume’s cleavage. He pushed the fabric aside and down far enough to put his hands on the bare skin of Ume’s belly.
“Soft…” Matsu muttered, taking a short break from munching on Ume’s neck to look at his belly while he fondled it.
Ume took this opportunity to start taking off Matsu’s clothes too. He fumbled with the obi for a bit before it came off, but he’d removed the green striped yukata in no time at all. Matsu’s compliant hands came away from Ume’s belly, so the garment could slip over his arms, but returned them before it could hit the floor.
His lips tried to find Ume’s again as well, but Ume leaned back, avoiding them.
“Lemme look,” he said, pushing Matsu away a little. Underneath the yukata, as ever, was Matsu’s black haragake. Ume had always found it a very attractive garment, with the bare back and sides, save for the straps that crossed over the shoulder blades and lower back.
Matsu apparently took it to mean that Ume wanted to see more skin, seeing as he stuck his hands under the flap of his haragake to untie the knot underneath.
“No,” Ume grabbed Matsu by his elbows,“not yet.”
Ume pulled Matsu’s arms out form under the apron and, sliding his hands down to the wrists, put Matsu’s hands on his shoulders, then placed his own on Matsu’s sides. He looked Matsu up and down for a bit, brushed over his skin with his thumbs.
He couldn’t help notice how thin Matsu really was; it felt like he could wrap his hands around Matsu’s waist and touch the tips of his fingers and thumbs. For a moment he contemplated how he could fatten Matsu up a bit, then remembered that he actually already ate quite a lot then figured that the damned idiot was just so skinny because he worried too fuckin’ much about everything and-
He locked eyes with Matsu - who looked at him with raised eyebrows - and promptly forgot what he was thinking about.
“Ya done looking?” Matsu asked.
Instead of replying, Ume slid his hands up Matsu’s back, underneath the shoulder straps. He pulled Matsu closer and pressed his lips to the spot where shoulder and neck met, tasting his slightly salty skin. Matsu let out a shaky breath, like he let go of something heavy, and draped his arms loosely around Ume’s neck. As Ume kissed and stroked his skin, Matsu continued to make little, barely audible humming noises, that sounded so… content.
Ume couldn’t help smiling into Matsu’s neck. So far it was much easier than he thought it would be. Now that had been able to joke around for a bit, he himself felt much more at ease.
Sliding his hands down Matsu’s sides, Ume found the string that held the momohiki trousers closed, and tugged on the end. It came loose quickly enough and Ume slowly pulled the flaps down. He moved his large hands over the bare skin of Matsu’s small butt and before he could start laughing again Matsu took hold of Ume’s head with two firm hands and turned it to kiss Ume on the mouth.
Ume tried to pull the momohiki down further, but Matsu wouldn’t let go of his head, so he couldn’t reach down far enough. Instead, Ume continued removing his own yukata. Now that he was almost completely naked, apart from his fundoshi, Matsu seemed to think his own nudity a more urgent objective.
He broke the kiss to yank down his momohiki to below his knees as quick as he could, then got back up so he could continue kissing Ume. Impatiently he rubbed his feet against his shins to remove the trouser legs the rest of the way.
“I’m taking the haragake of, too,” he said, panting slightly, already loosening the string under the flap.
“Yeah, ok,” Ume said. All of a sudden, the mood was much less languid. Nothing seemed more important to Ume than to get every piece of clothing as far away from their bodies as possible. He tugged the shoulder straps over Matsu’s head.
As soon as Matsu appeared from underneath the haragake, their lips once again connected and their hands reached for the back of each other’s fundoshi, untwisting the ends.
The two long strips of white fabric finally drifted to the ground. Still kissing, Ume felt Matsu grab him by the waist and taking some steps backwards, guiding Ume away from the pile of clothes that had gathered around their feet. Matsu backed himself against the wall, pulling Ume close.
Through his haze of a mind, Ume first felt his own rapidly stiffening semi pressing against Matsu’s belly and his cheeks grew warm. Then he felt what could only be Matsu’s full hard on, right between his thighs, making contact with his balls.
I had chapter four practically finished for a while now but for some reason I couldn't post it. Bit of a mental block, but I've posted it now!
Chapter 4: Never Mention it Again
Summary: Matsu doesn't know how to feel about the invitation he extended toward Ume; was it a joke, or is he actually, weirdly, somehow interested?
Read it on AO3 - or read it here:
Matsu walked away from Ume, cool as a cucumber. Just as nonchalantly he started scanning for a new deserted backstreet and when he found one, slipped into it. Confirming no one was there, he clambered up on a roof.
It wasn’t uncommon for Matsu to take rooftop shortcuts - crowds weren’t his thing - although he tended to avoid doing so during the day. Especially now that he was trying to re-establish himself as a respectable craftsman, it wouldn’t do to be spotted casually taking a stroll on top of other people’s houses.
This time, however, was to be an exception. Matsu needed to get out of the busy shopping street to quiet his buzzing brain.
He was practised enough at scaling walls that he barely had to think about where to place his hands and feet, so he had plenty of room to consider the conversation he’d just had.
Pulling himself up on the roof’s edge, he snorted incredulously. Especially in hindsight, it felt like a fever dream.
Out of the Five Leaves, Ume had always been the most open and honest. In broad lines, everyone knew his background (even before the specifics were revealed against his will by his former gang members) which is more than could be said for the others. He was also the first to call for answers about Yaichi when the Five Leaves started falling apart.
Matsu had wondered to himself if Ume’s new trait was going to stick, or if it was a crisis-only kind of deal. Asking Matsu about his sex life of all things was not how he expected Ume to show that he was, in fact, embracing his inquisitive nature.
Matsu plopped down on the ridge of the roof. Looking at all the people below him placidly going about their day did help. More or less removed from the world as he currently was, he could let everything that was said sink in a bit.
He mused on why he and Ume always had to shut each other up in such roundabout ways. Whenever one wanted the other to stop talking about the topic at hand, they invariably did so by throwing around insults, or sharp remarks.
This time as well, Matsu could've just told Ume that he didn't want to talk about his habit of sleeping with strangers. Instead, he had attempted to shock Ume silent by... inviting him to participate. He had expected Ume’s response to either be roaring laughter or absolute horror. He never would’ve considered that Ume might tell him “maybe” - tentative and half-joking as it may have been.
Matsu’s own voice rang through his mind. “Not opposed to it,” he’d said. He didn’t even know for sure whether he meant it or not. His feelings kept alternating between regret for saying it and… curiosity. Of course he thought Ume - tall and muscular - was hot. Irritating as fuck, but very pleasing to the eye.
Matsu groaned, burying his face in his hands. The darkness that followed made it all the easier to see certain memories of Ume that his meddlesome mind produced. He saw flashes of Ume on a sultry summer’s day, carrying a barrel of pickled vegetables. His yukata draped around his waist, beads of sweat rolling down his strong, tanned back…
The visionary Ume put down the barrel and, (rechtop staan), stretched and flexed his muscles. Realising he was being watched, he flashed his dumb grin. Before Matsu knew it he pictured himself flat on his back with Ume on top of-
-quickly uncovering his eyes, Matsu took a deep breath. He decided that he was overthinking it. Ume was going to back out anyway - or more likely: never mention it again.
Still... it got Matsu thinking about the rules he had set for himself when he started having casual sex with people. It started with one and after he gained more experience he thought of another. Just two - although very strict - rules.
Firstly, he avoided women when on the lookout for a hook-up. This rule came about after he ended things the way he did with the woman he almost married. He followed it even more religiously when he found out she’d gotten pregnant.
Matsu really loved women, but it was far too easy for them to get into trouble. He found people too uptight about women sleeping with someone they’re not married to and should the affair be discovered, he would experience little to no consequence. Others may have not considered this a downside, but it made Matsu feel like shit.
Rule number two was the afore mentioned “deal;” the only one he made sure to remark upon every time before sleeping with someone. The deal was that he never slept with anyone more than once. Repeating the act with the same person would lead to attachment and that was not something he wanted. Not right now.
Not many people argued beforehand and even fewer did so afterwards, but the man from earlier wasn’t the first to ask for more. So far a stern reminder had worked each time. He knew very well that he was lucky never to have slept with a more aggressive or forceful person.
There had never been reason for Matsu to add “must be a (relative) stranger” to the list. It’s one of those things that was kind of a given. It had never been challenged - until now.
Well, not even now, really. The only people he did not see as strangers at that moment were the Five Leaves. As previously concluded, Ume was definitely not going to go through with it and there was no way anyone else was interested in sleeping with Matsu. The reverse was also true.
Sort of.
Before he started going down that rabbit hole, he stood up resolutely, climbed back down the same way he came, then walked home as. As a good, professional craftsman, Matsu put the matter out of his mind and went to work. Although the matter made many attempts at getting back in, Matsu fortunately was very skilled at keeping complicated things out. As long as he stayed busy.
That evening, however, on his way to dinner, inadvisable ideas sneaked into his head. One of which: to flirt with Ume. Against his better judgement, he started entertaining the thought. He was sure flirting wouldn’t lead to anything, anyway, but it could be an interesting shift in their dynamic. They already had lots of experience pushing each other's buttons, after all. Flirting is just a different kind of bickering. The two were virtually synonymous for some people Matsu had known throughout his life.
He reminded himself that he was actively trying to be less impulsive, so he wasn’t going to put that plan (if it could even be called that) into action just yet. He wanted to observe Ume’s mood toward him first and - perhaps more importantly - his own mood. It was very possible that he was only getting slightly... worked up. It had been a while since the last guy, maybe he wouldn’t even want to flirt with Ume anymore if he just found someone to release that pent-up energy with.
Upon arriving at Ume’s, Matsu recognised very quickly that it would’ve been exceptionally hard to flirt with him anyway. Despite being his jovial self for the entirety of the evening, Ume never looked at Matsu directly, or even addressed him much. He didn’t even yell or glare at Matsu when Otake took her seat next to him for dinner and proceeded to talk to him specifically for most of that time; she needed to pass on some compliments that she’d gotten for wearing one of Matsu’s hairpins.
After some time Matsu noticed she was getting distracted. Judging by her occasional curious glances from Matsu to Ume and back, she realised something was going on. Matsu was glad to see that she went on pretending she didn’t. After a while, she was getting somewhat more touchy-feely than usual, though. Matsu suspected that she was trying to get a reaction out of Ume. Besides looking like he just stubbed his toe, none came.
While as good at hiding her emotions as Matsu, Otake looked visibly a little baffled this time. To avoid further suspicion, Matsu went back home early, saying he had some more work to do. This was half true; there was always work to be done, though none of it particularly urgent at this time.
Matsu did fiddle with some hairpin designs, until, after an hour of doing so, he just got too uptight to focus anymore. He was preparing to go out for a bit of fresh air (or a quick fuck, if he could locate a willing subject) when he heard a knock on his door.
“Yo, Matsu,” came Ume’s voice from outside, “can I come in?”
A little stunned, not sure if his aroused mind was imagining things, same as before, Matsu said nothing. When he opened the door, there indeed was Ume’s large silhouette, waiting for him. Matsu could only muster a “hey,” and waited for Ume to explain what he was doing there.
“Can I come in?” Ume asked again. Matsu couldn’t see Ume’s face well in the dark, but he sounded unexpectedly casual, considering his behaviour during dinner.
“..Sure,” Matsu stepped aside. As Ume removed his sandals and strode in, Matsu heard a sloshing that he could not currently see the source of.
Ume turned to Matsu, grinning. "I just wanted to say sorry 'bout all the questions earlier. I got a bit carried away."
“It’s fine,” Matsu said, a little distracted by the sound. He could see now that Ume was holding a corked bottle. Presumably (hopefully) it was filled with sake. “Sorry about the… y’know. Invitation.”
“Nah,” Ume chuckled, “it was funny. I shouldn’t have taken it seriously.”
You can, if you want to, Matsu thought, in spite of himself. Neither of them said anything, for a long, awkward second. Matsu expected Ume to explain he’d run out of sake and went and got a... a single bottle and decided to pop by his place for a sec, and was on his way now. Something along those lines - something making more sense.
Rather than offer an explanation, Ume promptly sat down. He poured himself some tea in Matsu’s abandoned cup, which must have been almost cold, seeing as Matsu had made it a while ago. He’d forgotten to keep the last bit warm.
Ume was someone who took pride in good tea as much as he did in good sake. He also had no trouble telling people he disapproved of their bad tea. Having been on the opposite end of Ume’s criticism before, Matsu thought it more likely that Ume didn’t notice the less-than-optimal temperature, than that he didn’t mind. He braced himself for whatever conversation Ume was looking to have.
“Can I ask you some more questions?” Ume then said, rotating the cup in his large calloused hands.
Only then realising he still stood by the open door, Matsu closed it and strolled over to his unexpected guest and sat down too.
“About what?” he asked cautiously, as he seated himself opposite Ume. This was going to be a continuation of their earlier exchange, he presumed.
Ume was silent for a moment. Then, sitting up a little straighter, asked: “Do you do that often?” He cleared his throat, “sleeping with strangers, I mean.”
There you go… Matsu’s knee jerk reaction was to give a very evasive answer, but given what they talked about earlier that day, he didn’t see why he would.
“It wasn't my first time, if that's what you're asking,” he said, only a little evasively.
“Always someone else?” Ume asked, without missing a beat.
“Yup.”
“How do you do it?”
“How what?”
“I mean...” Ume rubbed his face. “To put it bluntly: at this point, it's been a very long time since I’ve had sex.”
Matsu was about to joke that he wasn’t surprised Ume couldn’t get laid if he treated every woman he was interested in the same way he did Otake and expected them to be flattered. This wasn’t the time for jests, though. There was something mournful about Ume.
“How come?” Matsu asked instead.
“Hah,” Ume dismissed the question with a wave of his hand, “Long story that will bore ya to death.”
“How come?” Matsu repeated, more annoyed than he intended. He thought back to when he knocked on Ume’s door, late at night, right after Yaichi had shown Matsu an unexpectedly bad side of himself. He owed Ume for being there for him that night; let alone for everything else Ume had done for him since.
Back then Matsu couldn’t say much about the situation; he simply didn’t have the skills, nor the courage to describe what he was feeling. He could tell that Ume wanted to get something off his chest; Matsu would listen if that was how he could help.
Ume snorted at Matsu’s irritated attempt at kindness.
“Never felt right, after Kinu’s mum died,” his smirk half faded. Judging by his hands, which sort of lingered in the air in front of him in an explanatory gesture, he was trying to find the words for what he wanted to say.
“I did look for someone,” Ume placed his teacup free hand on his thigh and moved it toward his knees and back again, as though he meant to soothe a sore muscle - or an anxious mind. “almost right after I lost her.”
He stared at the floor for a moment. It's one thing to ask personal questions, and quite another to tell someone your personal feelings, isn’t it? Matsu thought to himself with some (well-concealed) satisfaction.
“I didn’t really have anyone to help me,” Ume said slowly, but apparently more sure of what he wanted to say, “so I was having a very hard time. With the grief and Kinu’s bad health and all. Figured things would be solved if I found a new mum for my kid.”
A familiar pang of guilt shot through Matsu’s chest. He involuntarily flashed back to her. To the one he put in that exact situation. Ume thankfully took no notice of Matsu’s anxiety.
“I couldn’t do it,” he continued, shaking his head. “I kinda panicked every time I got close to someone, especially at first. All I wanted was my wife back.”
Matsu glanced at Ume as he said this. While his smile was melancholy, it lacked the heartbreak Matsu expected to see.
“I tried a couple of times over the years. It never really clicked with anyone, so I sort of gave up.” He lifted his hands and shoulders in a resigned gesture.
“Otake’s the first who made me wanna try again. Just my luck that she doesn’t want me,” he laughed, though admitting this made him visibly deflate. He looked suddenly exhausted.
“And you never slept with anyone all that time?” Matsu asked after a short pause. He tried very hard to conceal the horror he felt.
“No, I did,” Ume said quickly, “went to a brothel a couple of times. I hated it.”
Matsu had a hard time processing this statement - it had been years since he visited a brothel himself, but it had always been a good time. They specialised in good times there.
The puzzlement he felt must’ve been visible on his face because Ume couldn’t repress a loud bout of laughter that was probably amplified by nerves.
“They were nice girls and all,” he snickered, “very good at their job. Physically it felt alright - I just didn't like it.
“That’s.. unfortunate,” Matsu muttered politely and Ume started howling again. Matsu’s annoyed eyeroll didn’t help diminish the laugher.
When he managed to hush his wheezing, he said “It sounds like you'd sleep with anyone at all though. How do you do it?”
What a question. To Matsu, it was almost as natural - certainly as necessary - as going out for a bite to eat; as going to a bathhouse for a soak, even if he needed it less frequently. He knew roughly where to go, he knew what to look for in people, how to signal what he wanted. And he rarely failed.
“Dunno, I just do. If you want it bad enough, just about everyone looks pretty fuckable.”
“Even me, apparently,” Ume laughed.
“What’s that supposed to mean? You’re hot.”
“Fuck off,” Ume looked surprised like he really didn't know that he had a good face and was huge and buff and just.. ngh. Matsu turned away from Ume and leaned back on his hands.
“You fuck off.” He was getting impatient. Ume obviously had no idea how horny Matsu had been even before he waltzed in. And it was all fine when Ume talked about his own sex life - or lack thereof, but the way the conversation was going, it became hard for Matsu to ignore how much he wanted Ume right now.
“You’re serious?” Ume said, ignoring Matsu’s annoyance, “Wouldn’t that get weird?”
“Only if you make it weird,” Matsu said pointedly. “It’s just sex.”
He needed a drink. “What’s with that anyway?” he said, eying the bottle standing next to Ume. Ume followed his gaze.
“Oh, yeah,” he picked the bottle up and considered it for a moment. “You skipped your after-dinner drink. Thought I’d bring some sake as a peace offering.”
Matsu was already grabbing two clean cups and placing them in front of Ume. “Offering accepted.”
Ume grinned and poured the drinks. They didn’t say another word until their cups were filled a second time.
“I’m… kinda curious,” Ume broke the silence, staring into his cup.
That’s it, Matsu thought, no more beating around the bush.
"Then let's do it."
Ume just grinned and shook his head. “I don’t know..”
Matsu stood up and staring down at Ume, said "Get up."
Technically Matsu could've just thrown himself at Ume - and part of him really longed to - but he wanted Ume to actively and willingly participate in the opening move, not just be overwhelmed by it. Matsu had never found real pleasure in getting what he wanted by force.
"What, now?" Ume started looking a bit bewildered, especially considering the way he had to tilt back his head to be able to make eye contact with Matsu. If a bit of discomfort would help Ume to finally make a decision, Matsu was absolutely fine with that. Fuck me or get out, he thought frantically, stop thinking about it and just fucking do something. He so desperately wanted to say this out loud.
"Got somewhere to be?" Matsu said, with all the charm he could muster.
"Well," Ume glanced at the door as if assessing his options for escape. “Kinu’s at home, y’know and…”
He trailed off and continued protesting noiselessly while apparently looking for more arguments, grinning hesitantly all the while, before shutting up fully. He looked back up at Matsu with an expression that was hard to read, then chugged his drink and rose to his feet.
The way Ume towered over him, even standing at least an arm’s length away, made Matsu’s heart beat a little faster.
Ume rubbed his neck and chuckled.
"So..” he said with a sheepish grin. “where do we start?"
From a distance Ume sees Matsu get approached by a suspicious looking man and decides to follow them, in case Matsu is in danger. Matsu is not the one in danger.
Read it on AO3 - or read it here:
Unlike Matsu, Ginta and Otake dropped by Ume's regularly from the start. Ume watched Ginta come and go, each time listing the jobs that people had given him so far. That boy was unstoppable: the morning after they'd arrived he had already put up a sign saying "Odd Jobs" and started running around town, seeking people who needed help in any way whatsoever and were willing to give compensation of any kind.
Otake also continued the way she had lived in Edo - minus the kidnapping - and did nothing productive at all. Which is what she deserved, Ume kept telling everyone, as if they would argue. To Ume's great joy she dropped by at his place every day for a bit of conversation, a bite to eat and a drop of that wonderful sake he had found. After which she liked going for a walk, or for a soak at the nearby bath house. Or both.
On his way to the market Ume would often find her in front of seemingly random people's houses, socialising with whoever lived there and anyone eager to participate in the conversation. Generally the chat looked light-hearted enough, but every now and then her new acquaintances were ranting at her, or appeared to be in need of some comfort. Seeing the emotional kind of person talking to Otake always made Ume restless and he got the urge to step in. Just his looming presence would often be enough to make people back off. From experience he knew Otake didn't really want his help, so he resisted the impulse.
Ume saw all sorts of things whenever he went shopping. Ginta was often there, weaving through the crowd with packages, with tools, with baskets full of a wild variety of things, or sometimes with nothing but haste. Ume made it a game to guess what task he'd been assigned and when Ginta came by later that day Ume would secretly award himself points if he got it right.
Matsu wasn't a strange sight to him either, of course, but one day he did witness something unfold that caught his attention. He saw Matsu down the street and a relatively young guy with a plain appearance came up to him from behind. Even from the distance Ume could see that the stranger was rather flushed with nerves. He reached out and tugged on Matsu's sleeve to gain his attention, then quickly let go again. As Matsu turned, Ume was unable to see his expression, so was unsure if he welcomed the company. His posture never changed, though, and after a short moment, the man walked away from the crowd and Matsu followed.
The sight filled Ume with unease. Something about the unremarkable air of that fellow made him highly suspicious. He returned the vegetable he had been inspecting to it's basket, and dashed after the pair, who at that point vanished into a side-street. When Ume reached the corner and peeked around it, hoping not to be spotted by Matsu and his friend, he just saw them turn into another, narrower street. Ume carefully followed until they reached a dead-end alleyway that was virtually abandoned. Inching up the corner he could hear a voice that was not Matsu's.
"... hope I interpreted that correctly and that we could... try doing it more than once."
The young man had a soft, but clear voice. It was rather nicer than his appearance, despite it trembling a little. He must have been very nervous.
"We had a deal," there was no sympathy in Matsu's reply. Just a coldness and rigidity that Ume had not heard in a long time.
"Yes, I know, but-"
"Nothing changed," Matsu interrupted his pleading companion, "are we done here?"
"Something did change," the man called hurriedly. Remembering himself, he added in a volume so soft Ume could barely hear him: "I have feelings for you."
This confession didn't entirely surprise Ume. He knew about men who were attracted to other men, even if he himself couldn't relate to it. Every now and again he could appreciate a man's body from a distance, sure, but feelings? He didn't really know that was a thing going on between guys until he met Matsu. Something in the way Matsu behaved when it came to Yaichi.. Let's just say he got a feeling that Matsu wanted to be close with Yaichi and didn't necessarily see him as a friend. Ume never sought confirmation, of course.
Although it did seem like men like that were cursed to have their love stay unrequited, because Ume was pretty sure Yaichi did not feel the same way about Matsu, and this dude was about to be denied affection as well, judging by Matsu's demeanour so far.
"No, thank you," despite predicting Matsu's rejection, Ume was struck by the tone Matsu used here. It was his merchant voice: not unkind or particularly indifferent, just efficient. Whatever happened between the two, for Matsu it was just a transaction between two people that had been completed.
The young man gave no audible reply.
"Goodbye," Matsu uttered it with such a finality that Ume knew he had to move it. He walked to the end of the side street, where he suspected Matsu would go, and waited there just around the corner. Matsu emerged from the street by himself. He spotted Ume immediately.
"Hi," Ume greeted him, jovially.
Matsu held eye contact for a bit, as if trying to discern what Ume knew. He said nothing, then walked away from Ume, the way they'd come. Judging by Matsu's leisurely pace, Ume figured Matsu wanted him to catch up. He did so.
He looked over his shoulder to see if the poor reject had emerged from the alleyway yet. He hadn't. While they were still in an empty street, Ume decided just to be straight with Matsu about what he'd overheard.
"I followed 'cause I was worried about you, but dang," he chuckled, "that poor bloke."
"We had a deal," Matsu repeated, "he shouldn't have expected me to change my mind."
It kind of felt like an invitation to inquire further. Or like an order to shut up - Ume wasn't really sure.
Ume and Okinu had been talking about this actually. Until Masa came around, it was very normal for the Five Leaves to steer clear of any questions, anecdotes or opinions that were too personal. They knew barely anything about each other's past and even their feelings about whatever they dealt with as a gang were largely off limits.
And all of that just started to feel really stupid the more the Five Leaves went through together. Especially when Yaichi's past finally caught up to him and the gang was in danger of being arrested themselves. Ume knew he wasn't the only one who was dying to know the truth about Yaichi when that happened, even though he alone ended up demanding an explanation.
So although it could absolutely backfire, he wanted to follow Masa's example from now on and just.. ask.
"Change your feelings about what, exactly?" Ume was pretty sure what the answer would be, but he wanted it out in the open. If Matsu really didn't want to talk about it, Ume knew he just wouldn't, and that'd be fine too.
In an attempt to be casual about it, he gazed off in the distance. Matsu was quiet for a hot second, and it made Ume nervous. He started to kind of regret not maintaining eye contact.
"Sex, Ume," Matsu then told him in that businesslike tone from before.
He wondered what was going through Matsu's mind now. It was about the shortest reply he could've given and he didn't give the impression that he was about to give any more details. Ume didn't understand how Masa just spoke his mind so easily. It felt extremely invasive.
"Right," Ume said stiffly, staring ahead. He didn't really know how to reply to that. "What I thought."
"Did you?" Matsu asked, his voice dripping with incredulity.
"Yeah, it was obvious," Ume said, gloating a little, "He was talking about 'doing it' and 'feelings.' To be honest I thought only girls fell in love so quickly, but then again, maybe guys like that are more feminine?"
"What kind of stupid logic is that?" Matsu glared at him, like it had been a personal insult. Ume wasn't going to get into an argument about whether or not Matsu could be lumped in with "guys like that." He didn't know anything about what happened between Matsu and Yaichi, so instead he focused on the part about the girls. He was fairly certain about that at least.
"Isn't it common knowledge that girls are more easily swayed?"
"What about all those assholes who sleep with a prostitute once and swear it's true love?"
"Are you a prostitute?" It kept getting easier to pry, especially if it was to avoid a complicated discussion.
"No, just horny," Matsu snapped, like he was ready for this conversation to be over. Ume considered for a minute if he wanted to comply.
"So what's that deal you keep talking about?" he asked anyway. Being nosy feels kinda good actually..
"Why, you wanna get in on it?" Matsu replied, without missing a beat.
Ume reflexively stared his friend square in the eye. Matsu met his stunned gaze with a gently mocking smirk and Ume's heart skipped a beat. He averted his eyes again instantly. He was glad that he wasn't a blusher, because that suggestive remark and the smirk - coming from Matsu of all people - really threw him off.
He found his mind involuntarily going.. lewd places. More disorienting yet was that, as he tried to think the seductive, scantily clad Matsus away, he noticed he wasn't exactly repulsed by them. He'd be lying if he said he didn't know that Matsu was a handsome man. He was conventionally attractive and - if he wanted to sell you something - very charming. However, he had never thought of Matsu as sexually desirable.
Right?
"That's not what I meant.." the emotions Ume was going for were exasperated and amused. As soon as he said it he knew that could not have been what it sounded like, because it felt like an epiphany. He produced a slightly bemused bark of a laugh, and added: ".. but maybe?"
As they walked out of the side street, onto the busy market, a number of people turned around at Ume and Matsu to see where that alarming sound came from. To ignore them, Ume halted and followed Matsu with his gaze, until he stopped walking as well a moment later. Matsu returned his self-conscious look with an expression of surprise and curiosity Ume hadn't seen on him before. Neither of them said anything for an awkward second.
"Not opposed to it," Matsu then declared, with a straight face. Matsu sometimes presented his jokes the exact same as the things he said in earnest, so Ume waited a dazed second for Matsu to show any sign of insincerity or jest. It didn't come.
All the same, Ume decided to respond with a bit of a chuckle. An ambiguous one. One that could mean either "that's funny" or "I'm cool with it."
"As long as you don't expect me to fall for you," Matsu added nonchalantly. Now that had to be a joke.
"Hah! Please don't," Ume grinned.
For the first time since he spotted Matsu and the man in the crowd, Ume looked at his surroundings. Everyone was going about their business in a way that seemed kind of wrong, considering Ume just lived through a really bizarre ten-ish minutes. He half expected everyone to be a little impulsive and randy too. That's when Ume realised that this weird little flirting session had given him a bit of a high, because as this thought crossed his mind he felt himself deflate and tumble back down to the real world.
This is a bad idea. They hadn't actually agreed on anything yet. He could still pretend that all of this playful banter had been just for shits and giggles, like their usual prickly ribbing tended to be.
"Got some work to do," Matsu said before Ume could start backing out of the deal they hadn't yet made, "I'll come round for a drink later."
Ume didn't reply and just watched Matsu walk away. He'd address it later. Or never talk about it again - that was probably the best option.
Summary: Matsu and Okinu bond over feeling like a burden.
Read it on AO3 - or read it here:
Matsu was squatting in front of his house, grilling some fish when he saw someone approach from the corner of his eye. Looking up, he saw it was Okinu, beaming down at him.
"Hey, Kinu," he greeted her, quickly looking away.
She crouched down next to him, wrapping her arms around her knees.
"Hiya, Matsu-san," her voice was beaming too, "What've you been up to?"
"Trying to get back in business, y'know," he said, poking the sizzling fish. It didn't need poking, but his hands demanded something to do, and his eyes something to look at, other than Okinu. "Bought materials, advertised my services."
"You'll be drowning in commissions again in no-time, I'm sure!" Matsu involuntarily glanced at her and, catching his eye, Okinu winked. Matsu looked back at the grill and attempted to flip the fish. It was a bit stuck.
"Dad's worried about you."
Oh, here it comes...
"Wishes you'd drop by for a drink at least, to show you're alive," she joked. It wasn't really a joke, though, Matsu knew.
It had already been a few days since Ume had reluctantly allowed Matsu to go his own way. Okinu walked with him, as she had trouble describing where exactly his new place was, with them both being so new to town. Ume tagged along, so that he would know where it was too.
Matsu hadn't gone back to see them since. He was genuinely busy preparing - he was sure that either of the two had come to see him before, and he'd just been gone at the time - but that was only one part of it. There was something inside him holding him back, as well, and he couldn't begin to explain why. Even to himself.
He'd wanted to drop in for breakfast the very next morning, and when he didn't do that he thought of stopping by for an afternoon snack - or maybe they'd have him for dinner. Every time he thought of visiting his head had a whole slew of counter arguments ready for him.
It wasn't a neat list, more a jumble of half-finished thoughts, that all sounded very legitimate and important, talking over and interrupting each other. Every now and again a sharp dig at himself would cut through, clear and well articulated, emphasizing each of the very sensible reasons for not going. Yet.
This muddle in his head wasn't anything new to him, so he focused on his work. That's where he felt competent: he was good at his craft and he was good at selling it. People respected him as a craftsman. After two days of talking himself out of visiting Ume and Okinu, he had decided that the right time to do so would be after getting his first commission. They could have a drink together, to celebrate.
He got his first commission today and he was, very obviously, not having a drink with Ume.
The jumble resurfaced.
"I can take care of myself," he meant it to sound reassuring. It came out more gruff than anything else. He half turned to Okinu, looking at the grains of dirt on her white socks, rather than at her, and added in a softer tone: "I promise."
"Matsu-san..."
Like her dad Okinu wasn't exactly shy about letting people know she didn't agree with things. She and her dad were entirely on opposite sides of the criticism spectrum, yet equally easy to shrug off. Where Ume would complain loudly, she would smile fondly and call people silly.
This was different.
"I'm a bit worried about you too," she sounded almost mournful and it felt like a punch in Matsu's gut. He didn't say anything and for a moment, neither did she.
"I didn't tell dad," when she spoke again there was a bit of mischief in her voice, "because knowing I'm on his side would convince him that he's right, and when he's absolutely sure of himself, he's unbearable."
"Even more so?"
"hehe, yes."
Matsu smiled, in spite of himself, then he sighed. Let's have this conversation. Why not.
"But you agree with him then. Why?"
"Because you seem to have such a hard time accepting help," Okinu said, "I was kind of hoping you'd gotten over feeling like a burden, seeing as you stayed with us until dad was satisfied, but then you just disappeared without a trace again."
Okinu, still hugging her legs, rested her head on her knees and looked at Matsu. He didn't look back. It didn't seem like she expected him to anyway. He wondered how Okinu knew that he felt like a burden. His instinct was to blame Masa: Matsu had told him about some of his insecurities in confidence and it was just like him to accidentally blab it to the others. Or maybe I'm just really obvious after all. How pathetic.
"None of us doubt that you can do everything on your own, Matsu-san," Okinu continued, "but wouldn't it be just a bit faster or easier or simply less lonely if you stop insisting on doing everything by yourself?"
"It's not that simple," Matsu said, a little irritated. Easy for her to say. "You've had your dad supporting you all your life and mine left me to fix everything myself."
From the corner of his eye Matsu saw Okinu lift her head from her knees, and looked over at her, feeling a bit defiant. He'd never shared anything about his youth before and he expected her to look surprised at this insight. Instead he saw that she looked annoyed herself - an expression she'd never worn in his presence before. He was so taken aback that he didn't look away when she met his glance with what could almost be described as a glare.
"I understand you much better than you think, Matsu-san," Okinu said, "even if it comes from a different place."
"What do you mean?"
"You must know that my parents were quite young when I was born, and then my mum died when I was four."
"I do," Matsu said.
"So my dad was basically a still kid and without family and inexperienced and grieving. And I was sick a lot. We managed together, but it was so, so hard. I've been awfully angry at myself for making my dad's life harder than it already was. Whenever I got ill he would close the izakaya to care for me and miss out on money that could've been crucial to our survival."
"Ume probably felt the same way about you," Matsu interrupted, "that he made your life harder than it already was."
"Probably," Okinu agreed, "but I never saw it that way."
"I get the feeling he didn't either."
"Likely, but still," she resumed pointedly, "If anyone knows what it is to feel like a burden, it's me, Matsu-san. In your case it was an unkind parent, and in mine it was my own body."
She squeezed herself a little tighter as she said this.
"Dad always says I practically raised myself, and while I think he gives himself way too little credit, I really did have to do a large part of it myself. And that's not his fault - he did what he could and I love him for it."
Matsu's chest still squeezed tight whenever Ume's dedicated parenting was brought up and he still couldn't help thinking of his own kid, whom he never met, now farther out of reach than ever. The tightness and the thought weren't painful like they used to be - simply a knee-jerk reaction of his mind - and both had passed before Okinu's next words.
"So at one point," she said, "I decided I was grown up enough to fix everything myself as well. I got good at hiding when I was sick and tired, just to be able to help out at the izakaya. I served drinks, I did the shopping, I entertained customers - just to pay my dad back for what he did for me."
Okinu fidgeted with the hem of her kimono and put her chin on her knees.
"I guess that didn't go so well," Matsu said. Okinu glanced over at him and grinned guiltily.
"It didn't," the grin faded, "I got so terribly ill at some point, that it took me a month or so to recover, instead of a few days. When dad found out what I did, he lectured me good, hahah.. From then on we worked really hard on me being ok with things as they were, and I've actually gotten quite a lot stronger in the last three years!"
She smiled at Matsu, and started happily rocking side to side a little, with her head still on her knees. The story was over. He got what she was saying: "share your troubles and things will feel less heavy," or something like that.
"Well, I don't have-" he started.
"a crappy immune system like me?" the interruption was casual, like she predicted what he was going to say. While it wasn't exactly what het been on his mind, she did get the gist. Her smiling and rocking didn't stop.
"Matsu-san, everyone feels bad sometimes. You don't have to be on death's door to ask for help. Or for a good time with friends."
Matsu looked at the fish on the grill next to him, forgotten during Okinu's story. It was still edible by the looks of it. He grabbed his chopsticks and moved the fish to the bowl of rice that he'd prepared before coming outside.
"That smells good," Okinu said, "I bet it's tasty. I feel like it's missing something, though."
"What?" Matsu asked. He knew the quality of his cooking wasn't anything close to that of Ume, but it sufficed.
"Good sake!" Okinu said, cheekily.
Ohhyes.. That would be nice. Any sake Matsu had consumed since leaving Edo had been a bit disappointing, including the sake Ume had served him during his recovery there. No one was more frustrated about that than Ume himself.
"Did Ume find some then?" Matsu said, sarcastically. He took the whole fish between his chopsticks and took a bite. It was nice and salty and the skin crunched satisfyingly between his teeth. He had remembered it just in time.
As he went in for his second bite, he realised Okinu had not yet answered his question. When he looked over at her to see if she was distracted by him, she looked straight at him and her eyes were sparkling with enthusiasm. He couldn't believe it.
"He did?"
"He did!"
"Damn, Kinu," Matsu grumbled and started shovelling food in his mouth so fast that Okinu finally stopped rocking and stared, mesmerized, "why didn't you lead with that?"
-
Matsu had been living in his new residence nearly a week when the lone woman two doors down passed away. He felt like a massive opportunist when he prepared to approach to the mourning family that gathered there, basically to ask if he could have the now vacant row house, before anyone else could get to it. Then again, his friends were bound to arrive any day now, and they needed somewhere to stay.
He intended to use a bit more grace and tact than that, of course. He found his late neighbour's eldest child, a woman in her early thirties, and expressed his condolences with the appropriate solemnity. He praised the kindness of the woman's mother, and stated his sadness at not being able to get to know her better.
Matsu could be very charming if he wanted, and in no time at all he had the woman, and her younger siblings who later joined the conversation, wrapped around his finger. They sympathised with Matsu looking out for his dear friends, and finding a new home for them. Of course they could have the place.
Okinu moved in to keep the place reserved, and lo and behold, the very next day Otake and Ginta came knocking at Matsu's door, escorted by Ume. It was quite late in the evening and the two looked very tired.
"We were so close," Ginta explained after they dropped their things off at the row house that was now theirs, "and we didn't really wanna look for somewhere to sleep again, just to walk for two more hours and get where we wanted to be."
"It's been a long time since I've felt so drained of energy," Otake groaned and started rubbing her feet, in a way that was a bit less elegant and dignified than everyone was used of her. Matsu quickly sat down next to her.
"Here," he reached out his hands to her, "let me."
Otake readily put her feet on Matsu's lap. Judging by the low grunt coming from the doorway, Ume was very likely staring at the scene with disapproval and jealousy. Matsu didn't look to check, but was amused by it.
"If only you took such good care of yourself, Matsu," Otake sighed with contentment as soon Matsu started to massage her. Now he did look at Ume, annoyed himself. Ume did not attempt to hide the malicious joy he obviously felt.
"What?" he said, "had to explain why you got here before them, despite leaving last."
"I'm working on it," Matsu told Otake.
Okinu walked up to her dad and took him by the arm.
"It's late, daddy," she said, "let's go home and make sure we get up early, so we have a nice breakfast ready for everyone tomorrow morning."
Summary: The Five Leaves decide to leave Edo with Masa and Yaichi. Ume and Okinu are the first to arrive in their new home town, soon followed by Matsu. While Ume wants to give "opening up" a try, Matsu struggles with Feelings more than ever. An unexpected relationship develops between the two.
Read it on AO3 - or read it here:
Matsu arrived in town much, much sooner than Ume expected.
At the moment he and Okinu left Edo, heading for the place the Five Leaves had decided to try and make their new home, Matsu was still frantically running around (that is to say, walking everywhere much faster than a short guy like him should realistically be able to do) trying to get things done before his own departure.
The news that Matsu was closing up shop and moving someplace else must've spread like wildfire. The day after the Five Leaves agreed to leave Edo with Masa and Yaichi, there was a small, but undeniable queue of servants from rich families in front of his row house. Some he could please with the few hairpins or pipes that were still lying around and wanted to get rid of before moving anyway. The others placed more specific orders.
Otake, Ginta and Matsu still hung out at Ume's place while Ume and Okinu were preparing to leave, and every time Matsu was there he heartily complained about the orders. He hadn't declined any that Ume was aware of. Matsu was not good at refusing clientele.
Ume and Okinu were the first to start their trek to their potential new hometown, and, predictably, they were also the first to reach their destination. The two were planning to stay at an inn and explore the town from there. Miraculously, they found a vacant row house within mere hours of their arrival.
On her trip to the market the next day, at the end of the afternoon, Okinu spotted Matsu in the crowd. She was shocked to see him: not only did she not expect him to be there yet, he looked exhausted. As usual Matsu insisted that he was fine and asked her directions to the nearest inn. Okinu didn't believe it for one second, and dragged him home with her without completing her shopping.
As soon as Matsu stepped into the row house he collapsed. He was burning up and slept for nearly a full twenty-four hours.
Ume managed to get water and tiny amounts of porridge into Matsu in moments of sort of consciousness. Still, when Matsu finally woke up fully, he was craving food. His fever had gone down, but he looked pretty worse for wear still: he was very pale, his eyes were puffy and the fact that he hadn't shaved for almost two days didn't really help him. He was usually so presentable, which made this sight all the more concerning. It actually reminded Ume of the time Masa just rescued Matsu, after being held in the storage room of that candle maker for a few days. At the very least he didn't have any injuries this time.
Ume made him an elaborate meal, with a little help from his neighbours. They were already quite friendly to Ume, thanks to Okinu. He always let her introduce herself first, and made sure she mentioned he raised her on his own. Ume wasn't really comfortable taking the credit for that. She'd done so much of it herself, somehow. It was a really good ice-breaker, though. People were always much less scared of him when they knew that he'd single-handedly raised such a lovely girl.
"So hey," Ume stepped into the row house with a pot of tea that his elderly neighbour on the right made for them. Ume waited a moment for a sign of acknowledgement from Matsu. It did not come because he was too busy scarfing down the contents of one of many bowls Ume put in front of him ten minutes prior. It went in so fast Ume was unable to discern what exactly it was. Ume continued anyway: "did you do the impossible and say 'no' to your customers?"
Matsu put the empty bowl away and grabbed a grilled fish with his chopsticks. Before he himself seemed to realize it, he'd taken a big bite. He held up a hand, asking for Ume's patience. After a moment it appeared that he didn't have any patience himself, because he just moved the fish inside his cheeks so he could reply.
"Nah," Matsu said, then, realising his cheeks could not contain all the fish while talking, attempted to swallow a portion of his large bite and seemingly hurt himself in the process. With a strained expression he thumped his chest a few times, as if that would make the food go down easier, and continued with a tight voice, "I just kinda hid from people at some point, so I could finish everything in time."
"In time?" Ume placed two cups on the floor, and started to pour out the tea, but paused to squint suspiciously at Matsu. "For what?"
"Didn't wanna take longer than a week, or -- ow," Matsu now attempted to swallow a chunk of rice that apparently did not fit down his throat. Ume waited calmly - and judgmentally - for Matsu to get it down and start breathing normally again.
"- or I would've been stuck in Edo forever," Matsu finally finished his sentence.
Ume tried doing the maths in his head - this just obviously didn't add up. Admittedly, he and Okinu hadn't exactly rushed their journey, but they didn't make a leisurely trip of it either. The whole thing had taken them over two weeks.
If Matsu really did leave a week after them, that meant he'd done it in a week and a half.
Ume looked at Matsu, just woken up from sleeping pretty much twenty-four hours straight. He saw the bags under Matsu's eyes and the amount of food that he was currently consuming, and suddenly started to get very annoyed indeed. He sat up straight and crossed his arms. If Matsu noticed, he didn't show it: he only had eyes for the food before him.
"And you made the deadline?" Ume asked, hoping Matsu would say he finished everything sooner than he thought.
"By a hair," Matsu said, casually.
"What the hell was the hurry, you idiot?!" Ume failed miserably at staying calm. It was the indifference that really pissed him off. "Did you even sleep or eat?"
"Of course I did," Matsu's glower would almost be endearing if it hadn't been preceded by one of those infuriating eye rolls. To make matters worse Matsu decided to add, "I just didn't waste time on a bunch of hour long breaks in between, like you guys probably did."
"I'll have ya know that I didn't practically drop dead at our doorstep when we got here," Ume fumed, "and neither did my kid!"
"Good for you," grumbled Matsu, while stuffing some more rice in his face. "Anyway its none of your business how I travel."
"Oh yeah?" Ume laughed incredulously, "well then, in that case feeding you is none of my business either, lemme clear everything away for you."
"Don't --" Matsu practicality threw himself over the food that surrounded him, to shield it from Ume, "- touch anything."
His pale face flushed with embarrassment, although it didn't stop him from grabbing a bowl of miso and slurping it down as soon as Ume turned away in a huff.
Ume's blood was boiling, but he was really not in the mood for any of the bickering that he and Matsu normally liked to engage in. He was pretty tired from the trip himself, despite taking all the necessary rest stops at the roadside, in addition to the longer breaks they took for food and sleep. The first night they spent in their new place, it knocked both him and Okinu out for about two hours longer than usual.
Ume looked over at Matsu and narrowly avoided snorting at him. Matsu scowled so hard that his eyes almost vanished in his frown. A smile formed on Ume's face before he remembered that he was, in fact, still angry.
Well.. no, he wasn't in the mood for that either. And maybe it wasn't really fair to go all parental on a grown man who managed to run a successful business for a good while back in Edo.
He's so bad at taking care of himself though!
His anger subsided, but got the urge to make Matsu feel a bit self-conscious with a fun little snarky remark. Y'know, a little reward for not arguing.
"I'm impressed you still manage to get food in there, the way you're scrunching up your face," he said, with a self-satisfied grin.
Ume's grin broadened. Matsu turned into such a pubescent teenager whenever Ume went into dad mode. He looked at the few signs of age on Matsu's face, and wondered how old he could be. In his thirties probably? None of the Five Leaves knew any of the other's ages, and they never asked. Ume didn't ask this time either. Instead, he collected some empty bowls to wash up, and left Matsu to simmer down a bit as well.
When Ume returned Matsu had cleared out all the dishes and was stretched out on the floor with his hands on his stuffed belly. At the sound of the door sliding open and Ume stepping in, Matsu lazily looked over, his head lolling to the side. After following Ume with his gaze for a bit, and Ume pretending he didn't notice while collecting more bowls, Matsu sighed.
"Thanks, Ume," he said.
"My pleasure. I like cooking," Ume presented the empty bowls, "and seeing people enjoy my food."
"I didn't mean the food," Matsu stared at the ceiling, and patted his belly, "although, thanks for that as well."
"Then what?" "Dunno,"
Matsu shrugged, "for worrying, I guess."
"Oh," this took Ume by surprise. He hadn't expected Matsu to cool down this much, "yeah, no problem. I have years of worrying experience, raising a sickly kid by myself and all." He laughed a bit and then added in a quasi stern tone, "She was never as damned reckless as you were, thank fuck."
"Hah," Matsu covered his eyes with his hands, groaning, "Masa used the same word to describe me ages ago. I should really do something about that."
-
It took Matsu a few more days to really get back on his feet again. If it were up to him he would've set out to find a place to stay for himself the very same day he woke up. Ume wouldn't hear of it, and made Matsu rest until he felt fit for at least one full day.
He didn't trust Matsu to be honest about that, but he was fairly good at evaluating someone's well-being. He'd been through too many instances of Okinu claiming she was better, and her falling ill again the next day. Once he started implementing his a-full-day-fit rule, she experienced much fewer relapses.
Matsu grumbled about it a lot and then, to Ume's great surprise and suspicion, put up a lot less resistance than he had prepared for. Ume kept an eye on Matsu as much as he could, and the only way to achieve that was to have Matsu take part in Ume's chores and other activities. As time went on it seemed that Ume didn't need to be distrustful of Matsu's compliance. In fact, if Ume hadn't known any better, he would have said Matsu enjoyed being forced into slowing down.
In the meantime Okinu used her charms to find a place for Matsu to live. In no time at all she managed to get half of her neighbourhood either keeping an eye out, or actively searching for a vacant row house. By the time Ume allowed Matsu to go free, he could move into one that was only a fifteen minute walk away from Ume's - or probably ten minutes at Matsu's pace.
Ume started looking for a building that would be suitable for an izakaya, because his little row house of course wouldn't do. That didn't stop him from providing his neighbours with home cooked snacks and (side) dishes. A bit of advertisement for his as of yet non-existent izakaya. He didn't have much luck yet though. Not that he expected to find something after being there for only a week or so, but he was a bit jealous of Matsu, as unlike him, he would easily be able to set up his business from a row house.
Brandie pulled the pulled the swordpen out of the last troll's skull. Now onto the text town; someone will tell her where to find those yellow shoes, even if she dies trying.
