aka, he's sleeping and Lucanites are brilliant bastards. Fic contains MAJOR foip, particularly major mindset foip.
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Kormak is love, Kormak is salvation, Kormak is the strength in your arm…
Cam’s eyes sprang open, arm already moving to punch before they registered the familiar furniture of Bralak’s office and flopped back.
"…. motherfuck that was a weirdass dream.”
He could tell it was a sent dream because he had acted wrong, he wouldn't say that, and he wouldn't scream like a girl. That meant there was a Lucanite fucking with him again, though hell if he could work out what the fuck they were trying to achieve with it. Well, okay, so the first bit of the dream he could manage and make sense of, it even had a political agenda that made sense and everything, it was the last bit that threw him.
Who even knew that he followed Kormak, or was inclined to them? That should tell him... but the only people who really knew he had taken the last step was Bralak, but others may have guessed, but still, they weren't Lucanites... Or he didn't think they were. So either there was someone snooping on him as well as being a secret Lucanite or...
... or Bralak's theory was right.
He should stop thinking and get on with his job.
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His shirt sleeve had fallen open slightly, green leaves catching his eye. He had discovered he liked looking at it, reminding himself of his orders as his fingers slipped inside the gap and spread the cloth a little. Cam frowned slightly as the leaves started to move, far too bright against his skin. Bright, beautiful, vibrant...
A colourful string of swearwords slipped out as Cam stumbled on an uneven cobble. Bloody hell, he couldn't do his job when he was this tired, a danger to himself and everyone he led, and when the hell did he start being in charge of people anyway? He should have fucking gone home and slept properly days ago instead of catching quick naps at the Watch house.
Of course he hadn't wanted to sleep then, couldn't really blame him for that when even now he could still sometimes see the shining Ash tree when he closed his eyes, hear the leaves rustling and feel the faint glimmer of the emotions it had stirred.
That thought resulted in abruptly stopping himself thinking. He forced his mind away from it and concentrated on the route home. He didn't want to think about it, he didn't have the words to describe what he'd felt then. He'd even avoided mentioning those emotions to Bralak, though given how fast Cam had changed the subject the bloody Orc probably suspected something.
His thoughts fumbled like his hands, nearly dropping his key as he tried to get into his own house. Wasn't that the worst of it though? He wasn't shaking because of the blood and viscera, but from beauty. Fuck, he'd fought Undead and thugs and back alley bandits and it was a fucking tree that made him like this.
The sensible part of him pointed out that this was probably why it affected him so badly as he called a hello, locked the door and headed up to bed. He didn't even bother to take off his armour, taking off his boots and flopping onto his bed, the shining image of the Ash Tree in his mind as soon as he closed his eyes. He was used to the worst humanity could throw, he was used to death and bones and bodies. Beauty on the other hand he had no defence against.
And it was so beautiful.
He could feel tears prickling at his eyes. Fuck. He couldn't... he didn't want to think about it, was that so much to ask? He just didn't have the words and it confused and terrified him.