#mun fragments

[saviorsequilibrium]

// I know it’s kind of late in the evening, and I’m just kind of posting this before bed for me, but—

Would there be any interest in me trying to revive my rp blogs? I kind of miss role playing, and things are… mostly returning to normal? I guess.

Give me a Like 💗, Comment, Reblog, or Inbox me… some kind of indicator if you would like to see me revive this blog.

[saviorsequilibrium]

((Might be getting some heavy storms here. The wind is crazy, and my internet is dying. Will be around where I can.))

[saviorsequilibrium]

// So my grandmother who had been in the hospital for three weeks just passed away early this morning -- Well, it was about 24 hours ago now. 4:30 am EST on the 22nd was when I got the news. My family wants me to put a tribute video together by this weekend, and I haven’t been able to take a moment to just process it. I’ve been doing this like numb crying of a few tears every few hours, and I wish I could cry for real and get it over with. It doesn’t feel real yet. 

... I’m just over this year at this point. If it’s not one thing it’s another, and this is just, the worst. 

I think the thing that’s made me cry the hardest was the realization that she wouldn’t see her next birthday. It would have been her 75th. I’m going to be 25, my dad will be 50, she would have been 75, and her mom is turning 100 next year. All 4 generations a perfect 25 apart. It was such a big thing in my family. Everyone says I have to have a kid at 25. I’m not planning to, but it’s always been a thing that my family loves talking about. 

I’ll get through it I’m sure, but it’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through up to this point aside from the death of my other grandmother back when I was like 14. I will admit, I’m honestly not really okay right now, but I will be.

I’m not a very spiritual person, but if there’s one thing I can hope for it’s that Granny and Papa are back together again after all these years happy out there somewhere. 

-- I love you, Granny. Rest well wherever you are.

[saviorsequilibrium]

// Honestly tempted to like mass update my two blogs, clear out dead blogs / threads, and kinda start over in a way? 

Threads that are active, or at least active-ish, would not be affected by that of course. This blog especially, but both have been struggling with activity recently, and it feels like it might be time for a bit of a fresh start in a way? I don’t know.

[saviorsequilibrium]

// Just to get thoughts out - Also, may not be super active in the near future because we may be moving and there’s just a lot of work that goes into that. If I decide that’s needed, I’ll put another post confirming.

- So, as stated above, we may be moving. From the sound of things, it will either be in with some friends or on our own finally. There’s just a few catches.

- The house with friends is bigger, but it wouldn’t be our own space. It seems financially, it’s the same move to move in with friends than to take the place on our own. 

- The catch to getting our own place is that it’s right next door to my boyfriend’s parents. This is a double-edged sword. Having family nearby is good if we ever need help, or say we do want to start our own family, you know? My only fear is getting the room to be my own person - to be an adult for once in my life and not a child. 

- I would rather have my own space if we can make it work. The kitchen is a little small, and the back porch needs some physical work, but honestly, that’s not bad for the price of the house. 

- Funds wouldn’t really be tight, and I feel that every arguement people use to tell us not to do it, it really a reason for us to go through with it. For example: “What if you get pregnant??” WELL, IF I GET PREGNANT, I DON’T WANT TO LIVE WITH ANYONE BUT MY BOYFRIEND. But I digress.

I don’t know, I’m just stressed out of my mind with everything going on, and I felt like this was the best place for me to dump it without too many people involved seeing it. I’m fine, just wanting fresh air. 

[saviorsequilibrium]

// Sorry if activity on my blogs are down. I literally get sick to my stomach looking at even my feed these days.

[saviorsequilibrium]

// Well, I found a way I can use Tumblr on my computer for now so replies will be soon but slow. This is garbage.

[saviorsequilibrium]

// Well, for some reason tumblr is broken on my computer so replies will probably be even slower on top of my lack of motivation.