I need to know your hcs for Crowley (for that ask game that's like "I have a serious one, one that's hilarious, one that's horrifically tragic, and one that doesn't make any sense in canon")
serious: pure master at gender fuckery. i am a he/she crowley believer and i will die on this hill. they're all celestial beings and they don't have genders regardless, but crowley is an expert at it. his general goal with his appearance at any given moment is to make at least one human passerby do a double take. specifically in a "wait, what the fuck??" kind of way.
hilarious: has to dislocate her hips to get his pants on sans miracle. (you know the ones. those fucking skinny jeans. jeans? idk the skinny ones. you know what i'm talking about. i actually found this in this fic and i thought it was delightful: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49488811/chapters/124900549
tragic: joints are all sorts of fucked. we've all seen the way he walks. and sits. and just, y'know. exists. i think that the Fall sort of fucked with all the demons in various ways, but it made it so that crowley has real screwy joints. being (probably) cold blooded, it only gets worse in the winter. aziraphale has to keep the bookshop almost uncomfortably warm. considering it was because of the Fall, miracles don't work for pain relief. when he and aziraphale swapped bodies, it was the first time she was truly pain free in millenia. aziraphale also had no knowlege of the amount of pain he was in until then.
pure nonsense: probably had a little crush on freddie mercury and david bowie. also DEEPLY envious of oscar wilde. it is unknown whether oscar and aziraphale fucked at any point, but she is deeply suspicious of mr. wilde. she therefore refuses to read any of his work and will Leave whenever azi brings him up. azi finds this hilarious.
