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I’m so tired but alas. Orchestra rehearsal tonight

#mups #it’s concert week which means full run tonight and dress on saturday

RECITAL COMPLETE 🎉🎉🎉

#mups #like several hours ago but #I am overthinking several of the mistakes I made but I was really happy with a lot of the Saint-Saëns and the Cimarosa #the malcolm Arnold I was. very much beginning to fall apart but it’s fine #but a lot of people said I did good and complimented me and yay!!!#and now I don’t have to worry about a jury

Saint-Saëns what are you doing to me

#mups #it’s actually a little less scary looking at the actual notes #so win

The problem with not having a recital looming anymore is that I have no more motivation to practice. Unfortunately I still have two concerts left

#one of them is tomorrow one of them is Tuesday I haven’t touched my oboe since Wednesday and I haven’t done focused practice since Monday #whoops!#mups

I have a week until my stupid fucking recital and I can’t play anything and I don’t have time to practice because oh no ! Everything else is happening during this week too ! Fuck me ! And all my reeds are busy killing themselves !!

#mups #can the pianist in the other room stfu before I strangle someone #the weather is awful and I can’t play any notes and ugggghhhhh I’m also just bad at this #I’m also upset and annoyed about the recital for other reasons. but that’s fine

I hate orchestra someone set me free before I start biting the strings

#AND I HATE STRINGS!!!!!!#sorry if you play strings. i just. they piss me off #mups #the violas are not going to be safe from me I’m going to start killing if i have to keep being here #(i have nearly an hour left)#our challenging and complicated runs that require focus and precision vs their simple melodic ideas that they should have figured out by now #(I’m being mean)#also so much love to the woman who brings in snacks but bestie I can’t eat your snacks during break because I (unlike you) use my mouth to #play my instrument. can’t just have a snack mid rehearsal I’ll get gunk in there #it’s okay I’ll have a snack afterwards. I love this woman she’s very nice #I’m in a bad mood

Filled with a stupid amount of rage and I don’t have any angry pieces right now to play and maybe I should’ve brought the Poulenc with me and played through that but unfortunately an oboe is not easy to vent my frustrations on. And I can’t play piano well enough !!!!!!!!!!

#you can HIT the fucking piano and if I hit this instrument (oboe) it will kill itself #mups #oh my god why is my mother pissing me off so much why can’t I be normal!!!!!!!!!#I can’t wait to record Mallory wilson screaming crying throwing up etc etc <- not like Literally but almost #I need her to SUFFER

#mups

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