"Oh, come here. You need a hug."
It was safe to say that the main stage had been rough.
Having watched previous seasons, Pearl was all too aware of how the producers used emotionally manipulative tactics for the sake of the show - moreso than ever if you reached the ‘Final 4′.
In all honesty, he hadn’t properly mentally entertained the idea of reaching this stage, and so having those pictures of each of them as kids sprung on them by surprise on the runway was like a sucker-punch of emotion smacking him right in the gut. The worst part was that he was the last in line; and watching each person finish their story and it inch ever closer to being his turn was agonizing to experience. With sweaty, shaking hands he pulled and fidgeted with his outfit nervously; Kennedy’s, Violet’s, then Ginger’s stories admittedly being drowned out by sound of his frantically thrumming heart in his ears. The seconds dragged into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into decades. And he felt every single nanosecond of them. Before he knew it, his time came…
Crying on the main stage of RuPaul’s Drag Race really wasn’t his finest moment (and it had happened twice now).
Ultimately, Pearl was desperately thankful when the moment came for them to exit the stage and take a break while the judges deliberated. He knew they were supposed to head straight to the untucked lounge, but fuck it. If they were going to pull out emotionally manipulative bullshit power tricks like that, then they could deal with him taking five to react appropriately. As they filed off the stage in a single-file line, once they were offstage Pearl broke away from the group and silently strode off in the opposite direction. With all the unwanted memories and feelings being dug up and playing on his mind, he found himself choking back tears that hitched in his throat, and he just needed to be alone.
That was when he heard a voice sound behind him; that of his best friend that remained in the competition.
In that moment, some rational part of his brain wanted to dismiss Violet and push her away - but his emotions were very much in control of his body, as the uselessly strangled “I’m fine; leave me alone”s died in his throat and he let himself be embraced by the one real friend he felt he had left in that moment of the competition.