#musingsposting

[themusingslibrary]

small victories: i identified the hand of the late-13th-century guy who owned my manuscript and did a whole bunch of corrections in it.

big losses: now i have to write it.

[themusingslibrary]

putting this here or i'll turn into the joker by lunch. discovered that one of the post-docs who works for my project was roped by a full professor (former phd advisor, so i get the pressure) into correcting her proofs for a book for an entire week -- all of this without consulting me (because i would be like: fucking pay her! or shut up). all of this in the same days we, as a department a heated debate about unpaid labor in academia with the most baffling, classist, elitist, out-of-touch positions expressed out loud the day i manage to harness this anger into something productive instead of this crippling anxiety it makes me feel it's over for these people

[themusingslibrary]

today in classical philology: all the people i'd like to invite for a seminar are dead

[themusingslibrary]

it is sunday. i am dicking around designing next year's class about the history of reading and the concept of intertextuality, and musing about the prospective closing down of the classics master's degree at the uni where i work and graduate from (it doesn't affect me, personally, because classicists have repeatedly tried and failed to end my career, and so i happily hang out with historians because history is where it's at anyway). it's strange to see things that in some form have existed for over 550 years, and i'm thinking of people teaching ancient greek here, come to sort of an end essentially because of elitism and failure to adapt. it is bittersweet to witness what you predicted come to fruition - cassandra keeps being a theme in my life rn -, when a thing dies because people refused to let it change and guarded it so much, cared about arresting the metamorphosis and killed the caterpillar instead.

[themusingslibrary]

it is still so strange when people come to me for recommendation letters. i still feel like a baby academic! but no, got tenured and now i am accidentally important at work.

also, strangely enough but i am extremely happy about it, i seem to be the preferred recommendation choice for trans people. incredible vibes, i love this so much.

[themusingslibrary]

about to send the periodical humiliating email "sorry i did not get to this earlier because of unspecified reasons** but can we do this now"

** usual bout of Mental Illness after the Big Bout of Mental Illness crippled my executive function and my short-term memory forever

[themusingslibrary]

another day, another day of disappointing everyone and their mother and their expectatons,,,

[themusingslibrary]

anyway, i am writing about how the ancient greeks intentionally built their literary heritage while hearing this voice in my head that says 'you're doing it all wrong'.

will i persevere?