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Jun 11, 2019

Mutual Desires

Guardian Angels are everywhere. They look out for their charges and keep a distance. But why? What happens when they get too close? The answer is love. And between an angel and a human, it is the most forbidden connection.

Genre: Angel!AU

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Summary: Baekhyun had been watching over you since you were child. Now as a grown adult, something new was brewing between the two of you. But with neither of you willing to admit it, with those feelings continue to grow, or will they push you apart for good?

A/N: Part 3 of the special angel series inspired by @wolveswithblackpearls angel reaction! I hope you enjoy it! (moodboard made by admin C!)

Kyungsoo I Sehun I Baekhyun I Jongin I Chanyeol I Junmyeon

The wind was whipping at your face, but that didn’t stop you from giggling, eyes wide in wonder at the sight hundreds of feet below. Baekhyun had taken you flying over a dozen times before, but that never dimmed the amazement or adventure you expressed in your face. He was so focused on the fireworks in your eyes that he’d stopped paying attention to where he was flying.

“Baekhyun, look out!”

The angel barely noticed the flagpole he was headed towards in time to avoid a very painful collision. Finding a rooftop of a nearby building, Baekhyun set you down to both clear his head and give himself a rest. Angels didn’t really get tired, but somehow being around you always made him feel a little weak.

He’d been watching over you since you were a small child. There was always something a little different about you, something that the heavens deemed needing of close protection, so Baekhyun was designated to be your protector full time. He found it entertaining as he’d never actually witnessed a single human go through the different stages of life before. From a stumbling toddler to a curious kindergartener to an awkward middle-schooler, he watched it all like an endless movie.

He thought that he’d been cautious in those early years, keeping his distance and staying invisible. It turned out that he could have been as frantic and panicky as Junmyeon about being caught and it never would have mattered. Because you had The Sight.

It was a rare and unexplainable phenomenon. A handful of people throughout the centuries had been gifted with this strange ability to see all other-worldly beings – whether they be the good or the bad. It took Baekhyun a long time to realize that you had this gift. When you were younger, there were moments when you would be talking to yourself, but it sounded more like you were trying to converse with him. He’d boiled it down to an imaginary friend coinciding with perfect timing and thought nothing more of it. It was when you were a teenager that he finally learned the truth.

He'd been waiting outside of your school while you talked and laughed with your friends, taking your time before having to head home and work on your assignments that were due the next day. When the group decided to part ways, instead of heading in the direction of your house, you walked up to Baekhyun with determination. He was too stunned at this bold and unexpected move that he couldn’t run away or disappear.

“Is there a particular reason you’ve been following me around?” you asked blatantly.

Though there was no one else around that you could be talking to, Baekhyun looked in the surrounding area comically, shocked at this sudden turn of events. Then he pointed to himself. “You can see me?”

You laughed just a tiny bit and smiled. “Yes, I can see you. I’ve always been able to see the angel who’s been stalking me.”

“I’m not stalking you!” he argued. “I’m assigned to watch over you.”

You pursed your lips thoughtful. “Wow. Your life must be pretty boring, then.”

“Since I only have you as an assignment, yeah, it is,” he snarked back. But rather than taking offense, you just laughed, your smile widening even more.

Ever since that day, Baekhyun no longer stayed in the shadows. He’d walk down the street with you side by side, most of the time being visible to everyone else as well so you didn’t look strange talking to yourself. He became more than just your guardian – he became your friend. Your constant friend as you grew even older, graduating and moving on to college and then your first job with your degree.

But it was only recently within the last few months that Baekhyun began to realize that he didn’t just see you as his charge anymore. He didn’t even see you as a friend he could talk to when the other angels just didn’t get it. He saw you as the colors of the sunset mixing in the horizon. He saw you as the first few flakes of snow welcoming in the winter season. You were leaves changing color and the breeze that cooled the skin on a hot summer’s day. You were… everything.

He knew it was wrong. He knew it was against the rules. But he let himself feel this glow inside himself anyway. He just didn’t tell you about it.

Instead, he took in moments like this; when he could take you flying or get into a little mischief. The amount of pranks the two of you had played on poor, unsuspecting people you came across should have gotten him reassigned, but no consequences ever really came from them. The jokes were harmless, mostly just having you distract the target while Baekhyun moved their suitcase or switched out the sugar with salt for their coffees. Yes, it was childish, but he’d do anything just to hear you laugh and watching you smile with tears in your eyes. On days that were rough or when life was getting you down, he was always there to pull faces or imitate the actors on TV to make you feel better. He just wished there was a chance that you maybe you could see him in the same way – as something more than just your guardian.

“I swear, if you kill us by running into a flagpole or something equally as stupid one of these days, I’m coming back and haunting you,” you teasingly threatened. There was something in your eyes – soft and hidden – that he couldn’t quite read. He might not have even known it was there if he hadn’t been staring at you so intensely. But before he could get a better look, you turned away from him. “It’s getting dark out. We should probably head back.”

Baekhyun nodded in agreement before walking over to you and scooping you up in his arms. You let out a surprised yelp before frowning at him. He shrugged as he flapped his wings and lifted the two of you up in the air. Usually, he held you around your waist so you could as if it was your own set of wings carrying you through the air, but he liked this better. He could hold you closer and see your features as they changed along with your emotions. The surprise didn’t leave your face even as he soared through the air of the city, landing on your apartment balcony a few minutes later.

“Thank you for taking me flying,” you said as soon as you were on your feet. “I really needed that today.”

Baekhyun waved it off. “That’s what I’m here for.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “I’m pretty sure you’re actually here to make sure that a piano doesn’t suddenly fall out of the sky and hit me in the head.”

He could hardly believe that you just said that. “Do you suddenly live in a cartoon?”

“I have the ability to see angels and demons everywhere and I have a guardian angel for a best friend,” you deadpanned. “My life is definitely an animated children’s education show.”

“Not with some of the things that come out of your mouth.”

Your only response was to stick your tongue out at him.

He simply laughed at you before nudging you towards the sliding glass door. “Go on and get some sleep. I doubt your boss would want you to be taking a nap at your desk.”

“Okay, mom,” you giggled. When the sound died down, you paused, your hand hesitating on the handle. That soft, just-for-him smile grew on your face as you met his gaze. “Good night, Baekhyun.”

“Good night,” he nodded back before disappearing from view.

When you exited your bathroom, you searched all around your apartment to see if Baekhyun had returned. There were a few occasions that he came to see you before you fell asleep, but that was becoming a rarity lately. When Baekhyun said good night, you usually didn’t see him again until you were about to walk out the door to head to work the next day. Tonight was apparently not going to be one of those nights where you saw him again.

Sighing to yourself, you crawled under your covers and stared out the window that faced your bed. The bright lights of the city buildings spilled into your room giving it a comforting glow. It was usually this time of night, when you were alone with nothing but your thoughts and your imagination, that you taunted yourself.

The very thought of being in love with your guardian angel was laughable on the small scale and a disaster in the making on the larger one. But you had been in love with Baekhyun practically your whole life. He’d been your one constant companion as your human friend group changed throughout your childhood and into your adult life. He was the one you talked to whether he was there or not and you knew you could always rely on him. But the closest you would ever get feeling his lips against yours was in your dreams. And you’d certainly dreamed about it plenty of times.

You had no other choice but to keep this information to yourself. The fear of losing Baekhyun if the truth were to come out was paralyzing. Whether because he deemed it necessary or because whoever assigned him to you in the first place decided to replace, you knew that couldn’t voice what was in your heart out loud. You couldn’t imagine what your life would look like if he wasn’t around and you didn’t want to know. So, if living with this torturing feeling of him always being slightly out of reach kept him around, then so be it. You’d lived with it this long, what was the rest of your life?

You didn’t sleep very well meaning you were up way too early to be getting ready for work. But there was nothing else to do and Baekhyun still didn’t seem to be around, so you went through your morning routine as usual, albeit ahead of schedule. That didn’t stop you from hoping to see his smiling face waiting for you when you opened your front door. However, the hallway was empty so you made your way to work, alone.

Did you do something yesterday? Had your teasing finally gone too far? Did he, perhaps, see your deep, dark secret in your eyes and run away?

Your mood worsened as the day went on and your guardian angel was still MIA. He didn’t even bother to send word to let you know why he wasn’t around.

What if something happened to you? What if you got kidnapped while out at lunch or hit by a car when you crossed the street? So many things could happen to you and he wasn’t here to prevent them. What kind of angel was he, anyway?

The dark cloud roaming over your head was very much apparent to your coworkers. Their idea of trying to cheer you up was to invite you out for drinks. Normally, you would have turned them down, but not tonight. It was Friday, you had nowhere to be and – now it seemed – no one to spend the evening with. So when the clock struck five, you were waltzing out the door arm in arm with your wild coworkers for a liquor-fueled night of fun.

Baekhyun was in a panic. He’d stayed away too long and this was his punishment for it. Following the grid system of the city blocks, he flew over every inch of the area you lived and worked in, trying to find some sign of you. He could tell you were close, but angels didn’t have exact GPS built into their systems. A bit of a flaw, if you asked him.

After leaving you the night before, he thought he would give it a try to see how long he could go without seeing you, just to make sure that he wasn’t being delusional in his feelings. The emotions he felt for you were very much real, he discovered. All day long he thought about you, fought with himself as to whether or not rush back to you. Did you even miss him? Probably, but only because you were used to his presence.

It scared him, if he was being honest. It scared him how much he needed you, wanted you. He was always the angel without any cares. He was the one who could be relied on to make jokes or ease the tension in a heated conversation. Seriousness wasn’t really a part of his make-up. But now, nothing was more serious than the need to find you. If something had happened…. He didn’t even want to think about that, but he knew he would never forgive himself.

Flying no longer being of any help, Baekhyun landed in an alleyway near your office, changed his appearance to be more human-like, and began running through the streets. He whipped his head back and forth, searching every window he could see for any sign of you. After three blocks, he could breathe again.

Inside of a semi-crowded bar, you were sitting at the counter, laughing and talking to a few coworkers that Baekhyun recognized. It was obvious that you’d been drinking from the way you swayed back and forth. Confused, Baekhyun entered the establishment.

You didn’t notice him at first, continuing to sip at your cocktail and chat with the girl on the stool next to you. Before he could reach you, however, another guy slid in, blocking you from view.

“No, thank you,” Baekhyun heard you slur sternly.

“Oh, come on, baby,” the guy purred. “It’s just one little drink.”

“Go away!” You tried to push on the creep’s shoulder for emphasis, but he just snatched your wrist up. And Baekhyun marched forward, grabbing the guy’s arm and slamming him face down on the counter.

“She said no.” Baekhyun maybe not be built like Chanyeol, but he still had that angel strength that could take down Mr. Universe.

The guy struggled under the angel’s grip. “Let me go!”

“Only if you swear to leave this bar right now,” Baekhyun growled. The guy nodded, looking more like a bobble-head than a person. So, Baekhyun let go and the guy ran out the front door.

“So, I’m going to guess that you’re Baekhyun,” one of your coworkers cooed. She had a smirk on her lips, like she’d just hit the gossip jackpot.

Ignoring her, he looked to you, but you were blatantly ignoring him, tabbing out with the bartender who didn’t seem phased by the incident that just happened.

“Hello?” Baekhyun waved a hand near your face that you just swatted away. Sliding off your seat, you marched right past him and out of the bar. He chased after you, bringing you to a halt out on the sidewalk. “Whoa, whoa, where are you going?”

You staggered on your feet. There was no way he was going to leave you alone now, even though you were very obviously mad at him. “I’m going home!” you pouted. “Without you! Like I have been all day!”

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun sighed. “Some… things came up.” He hated lying to you, but what else was he supposed to say? That he was in love with you and so he needed space in order to keep his big mouth from blabbing? “But I’m here now.”

“So what?” Little pools of water began to form on your bottom lids, spilling over after your failed attempts to sniff them back. He reached out with both hands, cupping your cheeks as he wiped the tears away with his thumbs. But instead of feeling comfort, you pushed him away. “Stop it! That’s not fair!”

Tilting his head to the side, Baekhyun couldn’t help but be utterly confused. “What’s not fair?”

You didn’t answer. You just broke down right there on the sidewalk while nosy people glanced at the two of you as they walked on by. Feeling extremely uncomfortable due to the fact that he was completely clueless on how to comfort you, Baekhyun pulled you into a secluded spot before taking off in the air to fly you back home.

The whole way back, you squirmed and fought against his hold, making him lose his balance several times. Back on the balcony, he let you go and you stormed inside the apartment, ripping off your work clothes and shoes and throwing them in every random direction until you were just standing there in your underwear and a tank top. Baekhyun stared up at the ceiling to avoid any possible ogling.

“Where were you!” you shouted as you whirled on him.

“I told you,” he whined, hating that you making him repeat the lie all over again. “I had other… things that I needed to do.”

“Am I not important anymore?” Your voice now came out in barely a whisper, the weight of his possible answer too heavy for your depleting energy.

Stalking up to you, Baekhyun pulled you into his chest, whispering back, “You’ll always be the most important.”

Rather than making you happy like he’d expected, you started to cry harder, the tears from your eyes soaking his shirt. Lifting you up, Baekhyun carried you over to your bed and laid you down on top of the comforter. He meant to sit in the chair that you kept by the bed, but your grip on his shirt was tight and forceful, so, against all the alarm bells going off in his head, he slid into the space next you and held you as you cried yourself to sleep.

Somehow, when you woke up the next morning, you were in both a blissful and painful existence. Your head pounded from all the alcohol that you’d consumed while out with your coworkers, but at the same time, a soothing motion that felt like fingers gently brushing the side of your face seemed to ease the pain. You buried deeper into the mass that was next to you, sighing in content. Until you recognized the smell of the fabric you nose was pressed up against.

Opening your eyes wide, you gasped at seeing Baekhyun… in your bed… holding you….

You sat up, flustered, and cleared your throat. “What are you doing here?”

“You drank a lot last night,” Baekhyun explained as he straightened up as well. He reached out to touch your face again, but stopped, letting his hand fall down to his lap. “I didn’t want to leave you alone and you wouldn’t let go of my shirt, so I stayed.”

“You didn’t mind leaving me alone during the day,” you grumbled.

He sighed. “Are you really going to make me say again how I had things to do?”

“I don’t remember much of last night,” you admitted shyly.

“You don’t?”

You shook your head, embarrassed. Just as Baekhyun opened his mouth to say something else, your stomach growled, loudly, making you giggle. Even Baekhyun cracked a smile despite the previous tension.

“You should eat something,” he sighed.

Nodding, you slipped out of bed and headed for the kitchen. As you took ingredients out of the fridge and set them down on the counter, you caught Baekhyun staring at you. “What?”

“Nothing,” he answered a little too quickly before sitting down at the small island. You looked down and realized how little clothing you were currently wearing. But, both out of laziness and a bit of spite, you didn’t go put more on.

For a few minutes, the kitchen was silent, save for the sound of you putting your breakfast together. There was an awkwardness in the air that you’d never felt before with Baekhyun and you couldn’t explain what had brought it on. Something kept telling you that this was the time to confess, but that same old fear of losing him held you back.

“Hey, (y/n)?”

You glanced over your shoulder. The deepest frown was cutting lines into Baekhyun’s face, making you wonder what was going through his mind. “Yeah?”

“What’s it like?” he asked cryptically. You waited a few seconds before he clarified, “The domestic life?”

“The domestic life?” you echoed. “You mean, paying rent, cleaning, and doing laundry? You’ve seen me do that a hundred times. Don’t you know how boring it is by now?”

Baekhyun shook his head. “No, not that kind of domestic. I mean… for couples?”

W-what? Why was he asking you that?

In the past, you’d had a few boyfriends to try and get over Baekhyun, to see if a plain, boring human could mask what you felt for the angel, but none of them really lasted. You could never put your whole heart into the relationship and they deserved better than that.

“It’s… nice,” you finally answered. “Kind of like… home, I guess? Home becomes a person and even the simplest things, like cooking or watching TV, can become intimate moments just because you’re together. That’s what it's like.”

Baekhyun nodded, taking in your answer, but not replying in any way that would explain why he asked that in the first place. So, you turned back to the skillet that was cooking your eggs, more confused than ever as to what that boy could be thinking.

Suddenly, a pair of arms snaked around your waist and a chin pressed into your shoulder.

“Intimate moments like this?” Baekhyun whispered in your ear.

Your hands froze, the eggs in the pan popping from the heat. A small speck of oil landed on your arm, making you jump from the stinging sensation. You hissed at the tiny burn before taking the pan off the heat and turning the stove off.

“Sorry.” Baekhyun began to withdraw, but you twisted around in his arms to face him and keep him close.

“Why did you do that?” you asked breathily.

“I shouldn’t have.” Baekhyun avoided your gaze as he once again tried to step back.

You held onto his arms desperately. Leaning in, you took the chance, your heart pounding in your chance. But before you could get closer, Baekhyun took the liberty of closing in the gap, capturing your lips in his.

Wrapping his arms around you once more, he pulled you in close. His lips were soft yet teasing, acting like he was about pull away before he dived back in for more.

When you finally separated, both of you were breathing heavy. The wisps of each release of his lungs brushed your face. You felt like you were still dreaming, falling into the trap that was your own mind giving you just a taste of happiness before you woke up to reality again. You hated reality. Reality was what kept the two of you apart, held you back from saying out loud what you’d longed to confess. And now, those few short seconds of pure joy were immediately crushed as you remembered what is was that held you back in the first place.

“We’re not supposed to do that,” you said. Although reluctant to do so, you started to push on his arms to get him to let go. He refused to budge.

“I know,” Baekhyun swallowed thickly. “But after yesterday, I realized that I couldn’t continue to hold myself back. I lied. I wasn’t out doing other things. I was seeing if I could stay away from you. And I found out that I can’t. And it has nothing to do with my assignment. It’s just… you.”

You laughed, just once. “So, you don’t have to go away now?”

He shook his head, giving you back your hope. “I’m never going away. Who else will be my partner in crime?”

You rolled your eyes, unable to hold back the even greater laugh. He could always make you smile even when you felt like crying. It was one of your favorite things about him. But you couldn’t stop your thoughts from going down the darker road. “Will something bad happen-”

“Nothing bad will happen while I’m around,” Baekhyun scoffed nonchalantly. “Angels and humans go together like… bees and honey.”

“Bees and honey?” you said skeptically. “That was quite the analogy.”

“I’m not good at poetry,” he pouted.

What were you going to with him?

As if proving that he was here to stay, Baekhyun pulled you back in for another kiss. You could feel his smile against your lips as he led you out of the kitchen. Empty stomach or not, it appeared that breakfast would just have to wait.

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