#mw posts

[matrixwhore]

amc claudia is jus so personal to me. already dead and born on a lawless night. she became a lawless shadow figure in the story cause everyone else consumes even her ghost. and what was her full name? and what was her full personhood. with all her journals dissected she remains shrouded in mystique. her anger and sadness is the quiet eternal dying breath of all this (like paul cause…im thinking thoughts) and it’s a groan. she’s an icon. she’s one of a kind. she’s my babygirl. she’s my blorwtf-ever. she’s my big lil sis and i will bite you about her.

[matrixwhore]

iwtv ep 5 rewatch thoughts

opening with the scene within which i have built a home and become a permanent resident. right here in the moment rashmand smiles stupidly and louis slonks (🤭) every last drop of his blood. how anyone thinks they’re boring idk idk idk

they are being clear here that this isn’t consumption for the sake of sustenance. this is bloodletting as sex play and as power play. Danny is not having dinner. so its clear that this isn’t feeding as a meal but it is feeding as sexual exhibition at its most delicious. Danny is reading about claudia’s violent acts via the written recording of her victim’s last words while loumand basically vampire fuck at the other end of the table. this is also setting up the sexual violence to come for claudia and also for louis.

i think it is intentional that louis is the one feeding from armand for several reasons. one being because of what lestat does to him, which we see later on. this is power play for louis in a setting where he has voluntarily and possibly in some aspects dubiously relinquished control over to his lover armand. also bc of the connection between daniel and armand. they are revealing rashid as armand slowly here and his and louis’ involvement with daniel in the past. Daniel isn’t dumb. they know he can figure out the inconsistencies of louis drinking from armand and louis drinking from damek. this leads to daniels curiosity about how armand tastes like and his weight and louis puts daniel’s hidden attraction out on display against his wishes to throw him off. and daniel orders rashid around to take back some power.

i also think it’s a call back to the power dynamic of their first meeting. louis has power over daniel, and it seems he’s the one in control of the entire situation but then he checks in with armand before moving forward. in this moment in the present dubai 2020 setting louis has power over daniel (regardless of him no longer being that naive young man) and he plays the role of the one with the power over rashid, but the power he is receiving is from armands 500+ year old blood that he is offering to louis as the character he is playing. lord take me.

i think it’s interesting that daniel is feasting on claudia’s private memories but objects to louis reading and exposing his personal thoughts. even tho louis has shown time and again that he does that and would do it again. choices/consent is the big issue in this episode.

Daniel: man with green vest: please no. man with fat fingers: please stop. window washer: i can’t die like this. woman with purple shoes: please. boy with inner tube and dog: let my dog live. please no. please stop. stop. oh here’s a good one—man in the last row of The Son of Sheik picture show: You said you had cigarettes.

this is the first recounts we hear him read from claudia’s journal—claudia, who did not get a say in whether her voice and story be used by louis, armand and daniel in this way. He reads this and it’s clear that he [daniel] hadn’t actually consented to being the voyeur of loumand’s sex play given his visible discomfort/agitation. He continues anyways, trying his best to focus on the task at hand and not his bisexual longing for the men at the other end of the table bc even with everything he is reading and witnessing he is still attracted to them in all their insanity and monstrosity.

im interested in the fact that he pointedly reads out (“here’s a good one”) the misleading nature of the last one. “You said you had cigarettes.” i think it speaks to the fact that daniel came here to dubai for a supposed second interview and is slowly but surely realizing he is getting something else entirely. he continues “School teacher, guard your heart. i’m trying to think of something more fucked up than this.” he could be just talking about what claudia has written, but i think it’s also the fact that this is the section of his reading that loumand have chosen to be overtly sexual in front of him for as he reads. all this and he doesn’t even know yet of rashid being armand and his role in claudia’s death, though i’m sure he’s having suspicions of everything by now. also that louis, with being faced with the piece of claudia he doesn’t like to acknowledge, the monstrosity of her vampire nature, focuses of drinking from armand the man who killed his beloved daughter (something he said about “i run to the bottle” etc. etc). it does in fact get more fucked up danny.

and when armand implies that daniel is no better by revealing the danger it poses on louis and exposing louis’ suicidality without his permission (“he lives to share these opinions even when they are not solicited”) and revealing he doesn’t even want this book to happen, louis fights back by leaning into his power over daniel and exposing his thoughts about armand, and continues to, even when danny makes it clear his thoughts were not being voluntarily shared—that he did not want louis in his mind at all. he even interrupts rashmand in the middle of telling daniel he wouldn’t let him near his neck to offer up more information abt rashid (much to armands annoyance) that clearly isn’t even true after reading daniel’s mind again when daniel just explicitly told him not to. and when louis does that daniel fights back by leaning into his perceived power over rashid—louis’ servant—by demanding more of something to drink without even looking at him. and at this armand picks up his lil ipad and leaves without even picking up daniel’s glass, being the one who is actually the most powerful in the room. this is crazy. this is actually insane.

all this and armand is the one who killed claudia!!!! the only one who doesn’t get to fight back against her agency being taken from her in this scene!!! i’m going to fucking throw up. who is bored with them!? they are literally putting on thee insane sexy bdsm emo freaks show like…

“ The Son of Sheik” also alludes to the upcoming sexual assault btw. It’s a sequel to “The Sheik” where the protagonist is the son of the sheik in the first film who falls in love with a traveling dancer Yasmine. He rapes her out of retaliation for having been kidnapped and later whipped, which he believes to be her fault bc she is falsely accused of it. like in this episode and like claudia, yasmine’s rape is strongly implied in the movie with the use of pointed language and a scene cut.

this scene closes out with daniel pointing out he can’t get to accurate statistics of claudia’s murders to corroborate her accounts whether he thinks its more or less than what she recounts im unsure. louis points out that he wouldn’t be able to get an accurate account anyways bc of their disposal practices and how cities tend to downplay the dangers within them. daniel wanting all the details and louis making it clear he will have to accept that he can’t always have all the details will be a point of contention later on as we know.

[matrixwhore]

even tho that scene™️ in ep 5 is harrowing to watch, the scene that i actually struggle with the most (and literally have to fast forward through) is in ep 3 when Louis goes to give the twins presents like…i know what its like to be transformed by trauma in a “dark” way on top of already being different in a way that families often times aren’t accepting of. i know what its like to be desperate to appeal to their acceptance and feel loved by them even tho i can never be who they prefer i be. i’ve been reactive (meltdown) in an attempt to make a space for myself amongst them in the only ways i can. it hurts to watch that scene. it hurts to watch his mother grab his chin and say yes this is who you’ve always been to me finally revealed as if everything he did out of love and support for them will never outweigh the ways he disappoints them. but he feels the weight of having held them up only to be crushed by their refusal to give him the love and support in return in the way he needs it.

then he goes home to his husband who mocks him with an orgy he was never going to allow + delivers the news of the azalea like its nothing + “how dare you cheat on me back?” + he’s like ‘your ed is personally offending me and my hard on’ and then it only gets worse from there. ep 5 was built up so well and the escalation happening after their babytrap, the vampire Claudia, is born is so real idk how anyone was blindsided.

it’s actually in my top 3 fav episodes, if not my favorite even tho i struggle with it so much. i’m about to watch it again bc i like pain apparently

[matrixwhore]

between sexxy redd and roda (the young woman who was just hit in the face with a brick for saying no to a man) and having to read mfs get on all these worldwide digital hellscapes . com and explain why they believe these women don’t deserve to be protected…there’s no amount of “womanhood” that will ever protect black women. y’all really hate black woman and i hate y’all and i hate it here frfr like

[matrixwhore]

like im sorry to harp on this but like when i think about it. im like louis had no reason to ever contemplate any possibility of seeing heaven. just based off his catholic beliefs and the guilt he was riddled with. i truly dont see that it would be something he’d believe possible for himself. and lestat just flat out rejected god all together bc of religious trauma. but claudia had no reason to ever think she would see anything else. she genuinely thought she died and would finally have relief from her life at 14 she accepted death. like she wasn’t in that room screaming or pleading or losing her mind to survive she accepted death completely and just hoped not to experience anymore pain than she had to. thats not no little thing. survival instinct aint no hoe. so to get to a point where you like fuck it i guess we dying and to not even be crying or nothing. you really have had to have known suffering or at the very least have made peace with death. her belief she would go to heaven is a super telling character beat. that was part of the peace that helped her close her eyes and wait for the flames. she was leaving hell. and they took that from her and dragged her to another layer. she didn’t carry guilt in her heart about anything. and that froze in time too when she was turned and i think that plays a role with why she didn’t carry guilt about the serial killing she was doing. she doesn’t think she has done anything wrong to deserve damnation and she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong in embracing it if she has to endure it so be it.

so truly i imagine the anger and complex that would come with being damned for another mans sins. and that man telling you, he’s your family now and so is his husband who will be the orchestrator of the hell they brought into your life just to be able to endure each other. bitch i will raise hell too then. the fuck?

[matrixwhore]

iwtv ep 1 rewatch thoughts

[i am eating Popeyes right now and i promise didn’t plan it this way, but seeds were planted so here we are.]

first things first we [the viewers] are introduced to our two time Pulitzer Prize winning professor Daniel Malloy. We all come to this course with a variety of understandings of the topic just like in any other course. Right off the bat he’s telling us of his expertise in a pervious recording and at the same time we witness his visible skepticism of his own claims in the more nuanced present setting. if you think he’s the only reliable character it’s very much being challenged in the first few moments, which i’m sure has been pointed out many, many times.

he flips the channel there’s a war happening (clue about where we’re at in terms of timeline?? idk. i’ve only engaged with AMCverse so maybe?) and flips it again and the fantastical is going to become a reality. he just has to put the pieces he doesn’t have together so he sits down to do a puzzle (a devils minion easter egg apparently) and he’ll get those pieces by accepting the extended invitation sent to him by none other than Louis de Pointe du Lac, which picks up from his mail box after trying to fit missing pieces together. very solid intro.

Daniel: Why get any closer to the bug than i need to?

he says before he gets on an international flight and exposes himself to countless risks. It’s what he does tho right? i’ve seen a couple sc of the books where he describes Armand as looking like an insect. he is not put off by getting close to perceived bugs. Its funny tho as he’s asking the question, he’s unboxing the answer—louis’ handwritten invitation—as to what would be worth risking your life for right above the devils minion easter egg.

-bc the bug has been following your career (like the way armand followed him yes?) and you like that

-bc the bug wants you and has invited you and you are a risk taker in the ways an investigative journalist has to be to get to the story/truth. in a way a man who refused to face his mortality chooses to be as pointed out by the lovely tumblr user blueiight here (hope it’s okay that i linked you. lmk)

Louis definitely clinging to threads of the past. in 2020 he’s sending hand written letters (on papers with Lestat’s initials) instead of emails and original cassette recordings instead of digital recordings. A lot if not all of his threads to humanity are threads to the past (“in my day” old headass) since right now he seemingly doesn’t really have any connection to humanity in the modern time. being an out of touch billionaire will do that to you, on top of being a century old vampire.

I think thats another evil that gets overlooked when some of y’all are looking for “he’s just as bad” reasons to pin on him. Instead of the imaginary he bit claudia before bringing her to Lestat…like…in addition to his pimping he’s literally a billionaire. like its right there. that encapsulates the worst ways to exist in this world. he the manpire of humanity as well like…

which i guess is goes into the many faces of violence that fade to the background and don’t get called out enough. violence isn’t alway brutality and i noticed just this past couple of days people only see violence when it’s in tandem with brutality, but im not about to sit here and lecture y’all cause that’s not at all fun. and thats why im doing this. bc its fun. i just think this show does a wonderful job of showing the spectrum of violence and evil and i think you do a great disservice to what they have done here if you’re only seeing those things from one angle. and i think thats one of the reasons why so many people struggle with Lestat and don’t appreciate how masterfully (no pun intended) he’s been crafted bc you don’t recognize those things [violence and evil] anywhere else in the story as being as bad.

if thats Daniels box of the past he doesn’t have much kids stuff, just a pink stuffed animal and a bike helmet, so i wonder how much of his kids lives he’s really missed. Like it doesn’t even seem like there was a joint custody situation where they spent a great deal of time at his home as well. idk maybe he has things in storage. but i’m curious about that and how that parallels with how louis let his own child down as has been pointed out.

ngl he look tf good while he listening back to this tape 😩😅 someone zoomed in on his muscle flexing when he pressed play and i just want to say to you i agree wholeheartedly with you whoever you are.

he mad tho. snatched that letter up quick after pausing the tape. 😂

He dives into the (possible) eternal sunset on a highway that looks like water.

If this is a way to get Lestat’s attention, which I think it can be said is a part of why this second interview is happening given the papers Louis chose to write the invitation on, I think its very pointed that Louis is introducing himself as a keeper of knowledge considering one of his (possible*) final moments with lestat as pointed out here.

one of the last things Lestat ever did before he was poisoned, had his neck sliced, and was dumped in a garbage yard to feed on rats, was humiliate Louis about his love of books and claim the role of the knowledge keeper in their family. I think its a very pointed message that this is a book (especially with all the mediums available in 2020), of course Louis loves books, but also Lestat has beef with books lol (Between Gabrielle and Louis). If there’s anyway to get a rise out him (hehe) its a book where Louis is identified as the knowledge keeper of the immortal life Lestat gave to him. and it’s written by a savory inferior as well. louis could have written the book himself. God knows he has the skill, time and the access to do it so that was intentional. Lestat gone drop through the ceiling of the dubai penthouse in a rage.

*possible final moments bc we don’t know yet if Louis has seen Lestat since Paris etc. etc. which i think he will see him in paris bc of Rolins “can’t burn him twice” comment, but i’m open to being wrong.

i haven’t pointed out anything that hasn’t been discussed extensively, but this is a verrryy solid opening introduction to the show. right off jump they established this to be a well crafted episode.

i need yall to know right now that as we go forward in this episode i cannot be held accountable for who i become when faced with brown eyed louis’ fine self. you’ve seen it yourselves please don’t hold this against me!!!! i am not god’s strongest soldier! i am weak at the knees! i will buckle! i will fold!

[matrixwhore]

yk…maybe if armand told lestat he could bottom he might get somewhere

[matrixwhore]

literally im so sorry for this but…

in my mind loumand can spend hours and hours making out. like just kissing with tongue. but not in a sexless, bed death way. no, no they are super horny freaks about it. Like they might as well be fucking. they are literally mouth fucking nasty for hours until one of them begs for more and its always louis bc armand has 500+ years of practicing restraint on him. but they can go for hours with it. and the staff watch them on the cctv like “Just FUCK ALREADY”. im the staff, i wanna wat-

anyways, then loustat want to be the type of couple that can just make out for hours. like they want to have that kind of restraint. especially when they’re in semi-public and its like… we cant do this here. (given the time period they have to try to be discreet). but there have been many-a just a kisss moments between them. but someone always does something where they haaaavve to fuck like right nowwwwwww. and they do. only when they get that feeling, lestat does the thing he knows will make louis whine and beg and all that. bc in my mind louis is always the slutty begger between all of them. and Lestat and Armand always tease him about it to see him squirm and tell them to shut the fuck up or he won’t let them fuck anymore and they always laugh bc honestly….

also Lesmand give that kind of tension where even when they are literally at each others throats with rage you think they’re about to kiss. like they give the kind of intensity where you question areee they fuckingg?? like?? what is up?? have they fucked what is their deal??? (the staff are making bets. money is on the line) but they haven’t!!! they are exes but they arent!! and louis is literally begging them to fuck bc the shit is annoying! and the staff is on cctv like “exactly!!!! literally JUST FUCK ALREADY.” i am the staff. i wanna wat-