#my evil ramblings return...

[st3elix809]

i DiD one of these like forever ago But thats not as accurate now so i maDe a new one

theres still parts of me untoucheD By any of these characters But thatd Because i Dont know any characters with those traits anyway enjoy if you even seeee thissss

[st3elix809]

i feel like a lot of people mistake me as not Being a very spiritual person just Because im scientific anD logical anD Believe everything must have an explanation or reason thats either one or Both of them. thats not true though.

the spirit is the minD, it is the logic BehinD the illogical anD the science BehinD the unscientific. our self, society, anD the worlD arounD us are the three levels of spirit anD to Be true is to unDerstanD them all. however such a task is By Definition impossiBle, you cannot fully unDerstanD your self, anD all of society? not close, let alone the whole worlD, But you can unDerstanD the science anD logic BehinD it. the spirit is that of the unexplainaBle, the reasoning, the explanation.

ah But its not like anyone will unDerstanD my ramBlings. i am still trying to unDerstanD the spirit of my self afterall.

[st3elix809]

sometimes i forgot that people arent cis, or that they arent trans. or i forget that someone is or isnt poly. or that someone isnt attracteD to people of all genDers.

iDentity is a weirD thing, whats the Difference Between cis anD trans, really. how can someones genDer impact how you think of them romantically or sexually. how Do you know that you arent poly. i feel that on the insiDe none of these factors have any real affect, yet on the outsiDe anD socially, they have a massive impact on our lives.

i feel hypocritical in a way since my genDer has a massive impact on how i view myself, But it seems so inconsequential from an outsiDers perspective.

i Dont know, it must just Be me who thinks like this, its strange.

[st3elix809]

i feel in tune with peoples spirits, Both that of my own anD that of others

i Dont like when i cant sense the true spirit of someone, it means they have something to hiDe

[st3elix809]

i like putting people through tests without their knowleDge 😈😈

i am the oBserver, i oBserve anD learn, its fun

[st3elix809]

i Dont have many memories But one thing i Do rememBer when i was reallly young, like 5 or 6, arounD then, iD have a ton of Dreams, i feel like i was aBle to image stuff in my heaD at that time. i miss that Because i cant now anD i Dont think you can gain aphantasia But i swear i coulD Before, sorry siDe tangent But iD Dream anD imagine things But itD never quite Be how i trieD to think of it. iD always Be thinking of me when i was olDer anD i was always confuseD Because whenever i thought of myself my perspective woulD Be as a girl. oBviously i was so young i DiDnt unDerstanD genDer But i never hateD it, i thought it was weirD But it was nice. like this was consistent, every Dream, every thought, i was always a girl.

anD they tolD me that there were no signs. i literally askeD if it was possiBle for me to change into a girl when i was like 7.

[st3elix809]

what the fuck Do you mean 37 people have seen my BirthDay cake just now, 3 months later 😭

[st3elix809]

realiseD that Despite the fact ive haD irls help me while have haD mentak BreakDowns anD panuc attacks, no one i know irl has ever seen me even ckose to my worst, abD even people i only know online have Barely seen anything like that

concerning?