#my head stuff

[roarofalion]

A Confirmation

I like weird things. I like normal things. I like popular things. I like things you don’t like things you find stupid things you hate.

I’m bad at things you excel at. I’m good at things you suck at  and I’m aware of it but that doesn’t make me a bad person.

I have a bad side bad, bad traits that I hate but need to learn to live with. I have a good side I just need to find it.

I’m blessed and I’m lucky and I’m never gonna give up the things that make me feel good because you think I should.

I’m not gonna apologize for liking the things I like I’m not gonna hide my laughs for you because I need that happiness more than your approval no matter how much I love you.

[roarofalion]

Somehow I feel like... after every fall, after every relapse, after every depressive episode, I kind of... have to find myself all over again. Find out what I like, who I am, how to handle myself, and subsequently my life. It’s a strange process, and I wish it wasn’t this way. But here we are.

[roarofalion]

The Aftermath

My fists are bloody there’s blood and tears on my face and I smell the sweat and pain in the air and I set my jaw against the need to hide I won’t throw my body into the works to keep this horrible machine from working It would hurt and I know you hate seeing me covered in blood.

I will tread like a dancer over these cogs light but substantial having meaning touching the world around me feeling the world around me

Because I haven’t fought just to see my hands go numb powerless to enjoy the freedom I’ve gained.

My fists are bloody and my demons my demons lay there cowering.

[roarofalion]

Have you ever heard someone say something that really hit the mark and they showed you how to get over your problems and were willing to help and you just thought, “Fuck you. I don’t need this.” even though you knew you do, and you just never came back to that again?

[roarofalion]

Daily Freakout Counter

(only the bad freakouts count)

4 or 5 (not sure if one of these counts)

Daily Reminder: Everybody gets lost sometimes. It’s not the end of the fucking world.

To Put It Less Simply:

I scramble to get it out of my hands the responsibility the knowledge that if you’re not feeling well it’s my fault and my fault only and even if, in the end it turns out I’m right there’s still the bile of failure at the back of my throat.

[athenasgal]

Okay I have a head cannon that Percy and Jason learn the hand shake from the movie Grown Ups 2 that Taylor Lautner does with one of his friends because they think they it's really cool and you have them almost all day practising