#my-hungover-head

[my-hungover-head-blog]

The Ramblings of an Insomniac...Dec 11th edition.

"The fogs is beginning to clear. It's surrounded me so long that I've forgotten what the landscape I tread upon looks like. Hell I've forgotten myself...Truth is I've been purposely wandering within it for the past two years or so. A few glimmers of light here and there have graced my path. I've merely glanced upon them or worse put them out from distance. Some had the promise of clarity attached to their glow...That same promise always scared me away. It was almost enough to know that even in the depths of being rudderless there would always a fire somewhere to show me the way back to my bearings. Perhaps I took them for granted while they were at their brightest. Perhaps I cautiously avoided escape from being adrift due to fear of ending back up in the same place...I'd like to think my journey through this blinding cloud of self-loathing and doubt has made me understand its origins and it's inevitable outcome if I remain in it. I'd like to think it's made me stronger. And now as it's finally clearing, I can finally begin to truly see myself again. I hope that after two years of being lost, I'll know to follow the right path if I ever happen upon it again...but most of all, that I won't let smoke keep me from the sight of a flame."

I wrote this tonight, just blurted it out onto the keyboard without giving it much thought. I'm not sure if it's meant to be about my academics, career choices, struggles with creativity, life in general or a girl...All seem to apply yet one possibility embarrassingly stands out.

[my-hungover-head-blog]

Struggling with a blank page.

There it is again, that horrible sensation of guilt and repressed constipated thoughts  gnawing away at my mind. "Writer's block" they call it. Doesn't really do the feeling justice. It wouldn't surprise me if the person coined the phrase suffered from it as well. Can't give whoever's responsible for the lackluster term too much grief though. Anyone who's felt it would sympathize and even admire the notion of just throwing something out there and hoping it lands well.

Truth of the matter is that my apprehension to fill a page doesn't stem from lack of material but rather lack of courage. I've had enough experiences and thoughts on my mind these past few days to cover a hundred pages. But it's too close to home and I prefer to burry it under the superfluous rather than go back to them or face them head on...I've always believed good art comes from willingness to expose vulnerability and perhaps if one's lucky have others empathize with whatever trials plague our lives. Connection through struggle has always been something I've found to be of vital importance to any good story and something I've aimed to input into whatever narrative I've created.

Nowadays however I've found hollow peace. Things are quiet and superficial and well honestly empty. Worst of is I'm comfortable with it. I tend to loath those who easily find comfort. I've weathered some storms, put out some fires and let others grow wild. Now I sit by my lonesome in the torched wet wreckage of my past. Unwilling to leave it behind and too hesitant to rebuild my future towards what it once was. That said stagnation isn't an option anymore...something's got to give.

This was meant to be a rant about writer's block, instead through my vague cryptic rambling it's become a realization that what I'm missing in my art is what I'm missing in my life: The willingness to act and create without hesitation or certainty. In other words, the ability to throw myself out there with just the hope that I'll land on my feet...

R.S.

[princessprettybows]

my-hungover-head replied to your photo: I think I’m finally finished. Damn that took...

This is really good looking :)

Thanks, Ron!

[while-youwereout]

My tumblr friend tagged me, so here we go.

- Rule 1 - Post the rules -Rule 2 - Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then make 11 new ones - Rule 3 - Tag 11 people and link them to your post - Rule 4 - Let them know you have tagged them.

1) Would you rather be a mermaid or a genie: Mermaid hands down.

2) What color is your toothbrush: Pink

3) What celebrity annoys you the most?: Taylor Swift if she counts.

4) Are you a morning or night person: Night!

5) What is one of your weird quirks?: When I eat bagels I tend to only eat the top part and always leave the bottom in the bag. It annoys the hell out of my mom.

6) If you were given a yacht, what would you name it?: Fitzgerald 

6) Favorite song at the moment?: Not a song but I downloaded some Ella Fitzgerald and I'm really loving it.

7) paper or plastic?: Paper

8) If you could be BFFs with any celebrity, who would it be?: Ryan Gosling(;

9) What is your favorite quote?: "I believe that my life's gonna see the love I give return to me."

10) What is your current favorite commercial?: I can't say that I have one at the moment.

 11) What is your middle name? Jocelyn

Now answer these:

1. A regret that you have? (Can't say none because it's made me who I am etc.)

2. Most inspirational thing that has happened to you in 2012?

3. Favorite book?

4. What's your guilty pleasure?

5. Tea or coffee?

6. Something you could change about yourself if you could.

7. Favorite color?

8. Favorite dessert?

9. Last compliment you gave someone?

10. What's your favorite childhood memory?

11. What's the color of your socks?

[my-hungover-head-blog]

I'm fucking writing again!

I don't know how to put this but...thats kind of a big deal.

[my-hungover-head-blog]

A brief(?) history of me and Gaming.

Disclaimer I doubt this will interest many people but what the hell it's my blog and I'll ramble on, if I bloody feel like it lol.

I've been gaming again ever since school let out for winter break. It's something of a tradition and method of decompression after a semester of academics. I always tend to dust off the old consoles and pop in say a "Bioshock" "God of War", "Grand Theft Auto", "Final Fantasy" or "Metal Gear Solid" for nostaligia's sake. I mainly stick to those few games because they're the ones that have left a lasting impression on my inner child/tween/teen.

However I used to be a serious gamer up until about puberty when I started hanging out with would be gangster hooligans and got up to all kinds shenanigans in the real/outside world. Before that I would be hardcore into Super Nintendo games and PS1 games, I tend to avoid playing those again because I fear they'd live much better in my memory than in my present. I'm glad to say that after replaying some classics like Super Mario World, Star Fox, Street Fighter, Donkey Kong(s) and others that are escaping me right now, they all hold up. Same with PS1 games like Syphon Filter, Max Payne(1 and 2!!), Madden(lol), Metal Slug, Mega Man, Crash Bandicoot and perhaps most awesome off all Marvel Vs. Capcom 2.

Recently I've caught up to the next gen consoles, specifically my ps3, I've been playing Tekken mostly, and Uncharted and the aforementioned classics, (Metal Gear Solid 4, God of War 3)...some guitar hero -_-. Today I decided to begin the much ballyhooed Assassin's Creed franchise with the Assissin's Creed 2  copy that I'm proud to say picked up for free at my local downtown library...so far it's fucking awesome.

I don't know what point I'm trying to make here, guess it's that gaming is an awesome way of relieving stress and at times can be the most efficient method of escapism there is. Also get a public library card folks, it'll always be the most valuable thing in your wallet...Yup I'll leave it at that.

My-Hungover-Head

[my-hungover-head-blog]

Bottle of fancy red wine officially finished. I can sleep peacefully without having to worry about anyone else drinking it.

Zzzzzzzzzz

[my-hungover-head-blog]

Find yourself a girl and settle down. Live a simple life in a quiet town. Steady as she goes, steady as she goes. Your friends have shown a kink in the single life You've had too much to (DRINK), now think you need a wife Steady as she goes, Steady as she goes. When you have completed what you thought you had to do And your blood's depleted to the point of stable glue Then you'll get along,Then you'll get along Steady as she goes, Steady as she goes. Well here we go again, you've found yourself a friend that knows you well But no matter what you do, it always feels as though you tripped and fell. Steady as she goes, Steady as she goes. Settle for a girl neither up or down Sell it to the crowd that's gathered round Settle for a girl neither up or down Sell it to the crowd that's gathered round Steady as she goes..

The Raconteurs