#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#dc universe#batfam#batfamily#dc fanart#dick grayson#tim drake
seen from Portugal
seen from China
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seen from Portugal
seen from Portugal
seen from Malaysia
seen from Macao SAR China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Portugal
seen from China
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from Canada
seen from United States
What are you seeing...
When you look at me? it freaks me out that people may see through me, but it also freaks me out that people don't see how much I'm hurting. The latter shows how much I'm used to fibbing a smile, while the former shows that I'm not strong enough to pretend that I'm not hurt over things. How the fuck does someone balance this?
Sigh
I really have to start taking people's advice
Fact: I hate my life.
How awful is it to say that and actually mean it? Especially knowing I have friends on here who actually see me on the daily. It’s a case of its not you, it’s me. I’m unhappy in everything. I hate that. And the fleeting moments when I am happy? Well, that’s what they are fucking fleeting. And I hate that too.
Fact: it's been a week from hell
Fact: I fucked up
And now I'm ready to drop everything and disappear.
Fact: I'm trying to be a better person
I said change starts now before and not much -understandably- has changed due to a limited window of time. But after experiencing a concert to which honestly made me reevaluate a little bit of how I give out and exchange my love for things, made me reconsider well, the situation. It’s not like, me and Chris haven’t talked. We’ve been. Now it’s just a matter of doing what I said I’ll do. Help him win back his ex. Which hurts a little tbh. But i think helping him -even if it hurts me a little- is better than not helping him at all.. Idk. It’s so tedious in determining what is wrong and what is right in regards to other people and oneself. All I know is that I enjoyed my time without him texting me immensely. I made plans to keep me strictly busy and then as soon as we talk.. I feel like storm cloud over my head because he’s going on vacation and asking for friends to come with- yet, I guess I’m frustrated over the fact that he didn’t ask me… And in that moment I thought, what’s there for me if I’m with him? So, yes, I told him I’d help him get his ex back and I’m hoping my plan works to help him so when they get back together I can disappear from his life completely.
Fact: I'm confused at what I'm doing
Had three nightmares in a row, the first person I called to talk to was him.. And I wish I hadn't. Signs are everywhere to leave him alone. The phone conversation was bland. Uninteresting. Tiresome. And now I have a lot more on my mind due to a few things he said. Great
Fact: the more I think the more I hate
This time it’s not about him, it’s about me. I can’t stand how with each day that passes i feel like I’m wasting my life away. I keep telling myself “I’m 19 I have tons of years ahead of me” but each time I say I don’t believe it. The idea of graduating college to sit in at a career of my choice -mind you- which I still haven’t found my niche– makes me sick. The idea of growing up even though I’m considered already grown makes the room spin. I can’t stand calling what I’m doing a life. I know I can change it but I believe in radical changes, and if I do what I want, I’m just as scared I’ll be as miserable as I’m becoming now. I hate this.
